I asked my five year old daughter what she wanted for her birthday and she giggled, "I want unicorns, rainbows and fairies!"

Okay, LSD it is!

Noah! Noah! The Unicorns are playing with the dragon eggs and won’t get on the ark!

Noah, “come help me with these squirrels, we’ll get to them later.”

Two Married Unicorns are Lying in Bed

The husband Unicorn, without looking up from his newspaper, says “big storm’s a brewin”. The wife Unicorn then replies, “ well then I’m glad we didn’t go on that cruise with your whack job friend Noah!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do horses love unicorns so much?

Because they’re always horny!

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Did you know that unicorns are hyper sexual?

Did you know that unicorns are hyper sexual?
.
.
.
It’s because they’re always horny!

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Everyone thinks that unicorns never existed but it turns out they actually just went extinct

Ironically they weren't horny enough

What do u call a unicorns dad?

What do u call a unicorns Dad?

Popcorn!?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man's car breaks down in Tibet..

A man's car breaks down in Tibet, and wouldn't you know it? His phone gets no service. So he walks up a long windy road to a huge monastery at the top of the hill. He knocks at the reinforced double doors and a Tibetan monk after some minutes finally opens.

"My car broke down. Do you...

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Why are unicorns better pets than triceratops?

They're less horny.

Where do unicorns like to drink?

The horn pub!

A little girl was making a wish with Santa, she said I would like a unicorn for christmas, Santa replies but unicorns are just imaginary make another wish, she says ok I would like Manchester United to win a game.

Santa replied, what colour unicorn would you like?

My Hopes and Dreams are like unicorns.

I stopped believing in unicorns when I was a kid.

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Unicorn hunting...

Two hunters, Paul and Kurt, were in a lodge, making small talk.

Paul asked Kurt, “So, what do you hunt?”

Kurt answered, “I hunt unicorns.”

Paul was startled, but said, “Really? How do you do that?”

Kurt replied, “I find a virgin and hire her to help me. The virgin sits ar...

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It's the second day on Noah's Ark and all the animals are meeting up with their counterparts.

The unicorns find each other, and the first unicorn introduces himself, saying "Hi, my name's Frank." The second unicorn says "Hi Frank, I'm Jerry!" The unicorns in unison say "Oh shit..."

My girlfriend is like a unicorn

She doesnt exist

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Why did the Unicorns become extinct?

Because unicorns are gay.

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I guess bisexuals really are like unicorns...

They're horny creatures, that you only meet in a dream.

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The truth about Unicorn

Q: Why do unicorns only let virgin women get close to them?

A: Because they are horny.

Got a list for y'all

1. (OC) Where do ghosts go to get their teeth worked on?

>!The Orthohauntist!!<



2. Two muffins are in the oven, one says to the other: Ya think it's getting hot in here?

the other one says: >!AHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!<



3. One guy says to his fri...

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On the Sixth Day, God created Man

A little later, Adam and Steve approached God in the garden.

"Hey God," said Adam.

"Adam, Steve, you've been doing a good job naming the animals. I am particularly fond of 'hippopotamus.'"

"The unicornth are my favorite!" Steve added.

"Actually, we're here about a possib...

A father finds a magic lamp...

and when he rubs it, a genie pops out and offers to grant him anything he wants.

The man asks for a unicorn for his daughter.

The genie says unicorns aren't even real, try to be more realistic.

So the man decides to ask the genie to let the Browns win a single game.

The g...

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"Angry Notes" Courtesy of Saurabh on Fropki.com

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get it up. Enjoy dreaming about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

D...

Dear Noah

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said you were leaving at 4:00.

Sincerely,
The Unicorns

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