I volunteer part time as a jouster at the renaissance fair.

I’m a free lancer.

What do you call an Italian Renaissance painter who smokes weed from a one-hitter pipe?

Leonardo da Pinchy.



...I'll see myself out.

My wife is on her lady time while at the Renaissance Faire and told me she was craving chocolate.

I asked her if the craving was period-specific.

I just got arrested while on stage at a renaissance fair.

Apparently my agent was confused and they actually booked me to perform a lute act on stage.

Hundreds of years ago vulgarity was commonplace, people were often drunk before noon, and public urination was not unusual.

At least that's what I tried telling the security guard at the renaissance faire.

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"

So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance

What did the terminator say when he accidentally got sent back in time to the renaissance?

I'll be Bach.

My friend Victor is a historian

He invited me to a party at his house and started introducing me to all his colleagues.
“This is Victor, he’s a historian of the renaissance. The guy next to him is Victor Jr, he’s a historian of ancient Egypt. And those two guys over there are Victor and Victor, they are doing great work on Mes...

Did you hear about the crab that could paint?

There was a crab that people taught how to paint. He eventually got better and started painting these Renaissance-like paintings

His name was Leonardo Da-Pinchi

Some bloke just told me I have no culture

Just because I can name more ninja turtles than renaissance artists.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do tampons and renaissance art have in common?

You get upset when your dog tears up either of them because they are period pieces.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Now that I have lived through a plague...

I get why most renaissance paintings are of fat people lounging around with their boobs and dicks out

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

My girlfriend and I went to the Renaissance fair and saw a minstrel get cut in the arm

He's gonna be okay though, my girlfriend had just the thing to stop the flow of minstrel blood

Yo momma’s so old...

When it’s that time of the month, she has a renaissance period.

Art Show

A man walked into the Lourve with a plastic clicking box.

He held it up to a renaissance portrait; the box didn't click at all. He moved on to the surrealist paintings—the plastic box clicked a little. Security got anxious.

Just as they were about to stop him he moved into an exhibitio...

Guy walks into a bar with brown robes on...

Guy walks into a bar with brown robes on and the bartender asks "what’s with the robes, you just get out of a Renaissance faire?”


He replies, ”No I’m a Carmelite priest.”

The bartender exclaims "I’ll be damned!”

He answers “I hope not!"

Super bowl mistake

My good friend has 2 tickets for the 2018 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,000 for both tickets, but he didn't realize when he bought them, it was going to be the same day of his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place. It's at @ 3pm at the Renaissance . Her...

3 guys are to be executed

Back in the renaissance era 3 guys were to be executed so they bring in the first guy out him in the guillotine and they ask him if he has any last words and he says "god bless the king" so they drop the blade and it stops within inches of his neck so they think this must be divine intervention and ...

I started studying art history.

I'm really learning a lot. This painter named 'Renaissance' is just amazing.

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