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Rhinoceros Jokes

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

'Ell if *I* know.

A sign on a restaurant window says "If you order it and we don't have it, you instantly win one million dollars"

A man walking by notices the sign and walks in the restaurant and sits down at the table with a smirk on his face. The waiter asks what he will be having and the man says "I will have white rhinoceros stew please." The waiter comes out with a boiling hot bowl of exactly what the man ordered. The man...

How come you never see a Rhinoceros hiding in a tree?

Because they are really good at it.

What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhinoceros?

Eliphino

What do you do with an elephant with three balls?

You walk him and pitch to the rhinoceros.

What's the difference between a rhinoceros and a mattababy? [Works every time]

What's a mattababy?
Nothing what's a matta with you

What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee with a rhinoceros?

A meeting with the ethics committee and swift removal of your research funding.

What happens if you mate a rhinoceros and an elephant?

El-iph-ino.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the rhinoceros say to the lion?

I’m horny

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rhinoceros walks into a bar

He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the rhino, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the rhino abruptly gets up and returns home.

The next night, the woman goes to his place. "You owe me money," s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy buys a ranch.

A city guy buys a ranch. He sits on the porch of his new house taking in the fresh country air when a dusty truck pulls up.

The man in the truck gets out. he's 7 feet tall, with a huge beard. " I came to invite you to a little Welcome to the Neighborhood party at my place tonight. "

"W...

My kid asked what we would get if we crossed a rhinoceros and an elephant.

I said, elifino.

Football game on Noah's Ark

Okay so the animals have been on the ark for thirty days and thirty nights and frankly they are getting bored. So to provide entertainment B-Deck challenges C-Deck to a game of football. They get it all set up and begin play. B-Deck makes some early gains but C-Deck is unstoppable. They have Rhinoce...

How do you stop a rhinoceros from charging?

Call customer service to dispute the purchase.

A bunch of groan-worthy one-liners

- Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

- Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

- Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One says to the other, "Something's fishy about this."

- Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says, "Oh ...

The Lion and the Elephant

Everybody knows that the lion is the king of the jungle. Always has been, and for generations it seemed like he always would be. One afternoon, however, after a particularly poorly received watering hole decision, the elephant had had enough.

“Lion,” he said, “I’ve been your major domo for a...

A Collection of "What do you Call"s

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No Ideer!
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
*Still* no Ideer!
. . .
What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhinoceros?
Elephino, but let's get away from that huge thing!
. . .
If you need explaining, ask...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A monkey is smoking a joint.. (NFSW)

A monkey is smoking a joint when rabbit arrives and says: “ Come on monkey leave the joint and go for run with me, its healthier...”

A monkey thinks about it and says: “You are right, lets go!”

They both start running and after a while they see a zebra preparing some hash.

Rabb...

What do you get when you cross a rhinoceros and a toilet seat?

I don't know, but there's no way I'm using **that** bathroom

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