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Antelope Jokes

A lion gets bored of eating antelope...

So he decides to have bird for dinner. He dons a hippopotamus outfit and walks towards an eagle inside a group of hippos. As he gets closer, the bird spots him and flies away.

Undaunted, the lion puts on a zebra costume the next day, and walks towards the bird among a group of zebras. Once ag...

What did Donald Trump say when he saw a herd of plastic antelope?

FAKE GNU'S!

Why did the antelope?

Nobody gnu...

So I went to see the antelope salesman the other day...

He said "I've got good gnus, and bad gnus."

What’s the difference between a pumpkin and a classroom filled with baby antelopes?

Quite a few things

I once went on safari and saw a giraffe humping an antelope.

Thinking back, I probably should’ve used google chrome.

what do you call a vampire antelope?

Vlad the Impala

What did one stocky, oxlike antelope say to another stocky, oxlike antelope?

Happy Gnu Year!

Did you know that there’s a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house?

This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can’t jump

An antelope and a lion are star crossed lovers

One day, the antelope decides they should take it to the next level

Antelope: let's run away and get married, Lion!

Lion: I cantaloupe

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Richard Attenborough showed me a selection of photos of small African antelope penises.

It was Dick's dik-dik dick pic picks.

What do you call an antelope that's really bad at being an antelope?

A cantelope.

I once saw an antelope

Can you imagine that? It was the talk of the whole ant colony.

Why don't antelopes play poker in the African grasslands?

Too many cheetahs.

An ant, an aunt, an antechamber, an antelope and an antenna walk into a bar.

The barman asks "what is this, an anti-joke?"

The ant replies: "no".

Why did the antelope go to her sisters house?

She wanted to see her nephewlope

Why didn't the antelopes get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

Did you hear about the antelope...

Did you hear about the antelope that was trampled by a herd of elephants while getting dressed?

He was a self dressed stamped antelope.

What did the villager say after the stampede of bearded antelopes ended?

No Gnus is Good News!

OC: What does Babe Ruth and roughly 100,000 antelopes have in common?

They're both ballpark figures.

What do African antelope herders and dyslexic politicians have in common?

They're both very worried about gnu control.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A traveler walks into a bar...

As he sits down to order a drink, a man charges in screaming, "THE ANTELOPES ARE HERE THE ANTELOPES ARE HERE!"
The traveler watches in astonishment as the contents of the bar spills out of the room and into the streets where everyone starts fucking the antelopes. The man shakes his head, finishe...

Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?

You're only allowed one carrion.

I have never been to an ant wedding

But I have seen an antelope.

An Native American chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant

The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of deer hide.

A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.

The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief ...

The lion decided to invite everyone to his birthday party. But, him being the king, he ordered everybody to bring him meat as a present, or else he will hit them with his massive dong. And soon, the day came and all the animals lined up in front of the lion's cave with their presents.

The Wolf wanted to gift the King lamb, the fox had a chicken, the leopard an antelope, and so on...The lion greeted all of his guests and welcomed them to the party. Suddenly, the rabbit stood in front of him with a carrot. All guests went silent. The lion looked him in the eyes and said: " You know...

What do you call a deer who ran away with her ant lover?

An Antelope.

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Two guys are walking through a field in Montana

when they stumble across a well. The men look down the well and notice it is so deep, they can't see the bottom. One guys says to the other, "throw a stick into it, see how deep the well is." So the man finds a stick, tosses it in the well, the men wait for the splash...nothing. No sound. Curious to...

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A man goes to prison

On his first night, he's pretty nervous. Somebody shouts out "34" and everybody else laughs. He thinks this is weird, but then 5 minutes later, somebody else shouts "23" and everybody else laughs. Then after another 10 minutes, a third prisoner shouts "16" and everybody laughs. His cellmate sees...

What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Antelopes

What do you get when ant's parents won't let him marry his girlfriend?

Antelopes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some Gorillas are getting drunk in the Belgian Congo... (NSFW)

So some gorillas are having some beers and goofing off at the edge of the forest in the Belgian Congo, clowning on each other, doing impressions, etc. one of them looks toward the bordering savanna and notices a lion intently stalking a distant antelope.

“Check out Mr. King of the Jungle ove...

Big Artie

There once was a Hitman named Big Artie.

Things were tough in the Underworld at thew time, what with the Financial Crisis lately and such, the market hasn't been kind to his business. Because of this, he decides that he needs to put down the prices - It's been months since he'd had a job and ...

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