What do you call a celibate antelope?

Cantelope

A Native American Chief had three wives, all of whom were pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.

The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.

Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the th...

An antelope and a lion are star crossed lovers

One day, the antelope decides they should take it to the next level

Antelope: let's run away and get married, Lion!

Lion: I cantaloupe

Did you know that there’s a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house?

This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can’t jump

Why don't antelopes play poker in the African grasslands?

Too many cheetahs.

I once saw an antelope

Can you imagine that? It was the talk of the whole ant colony.

What do African antelope herders and dyslexic politicians have in common?

They're both very worried about gnu control.

Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?

You're only allowed one carrion.

What did the villager say after the stampede of bearded antelopes ended?

No Gnus is Good News!

Why did the antelope go to her sisters house?

She wanted to see her nephewlope

OC: What does Babe Ruth and roughly 100,000 antelopes have in common?

They're both ballpark figures.

I fell out of a tree and landed on an antelope.

I was impala'd

Why didn't the antelopes get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

Did you hear about the antelope...

Did you hear about the antelope that was trampled by a herd of elephants while getting dressed?

He was a self dressed stamped antelope.

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A famous chef and his wife are having marital problems

A world famous chef has been away for many months traveling the globe and preparing exotic dishes, and as his wife expects, sleeping with exotic women.

In an effort to save his skin, he pulls the wife aside and says "Honey, I know I have been away for a long time, but I promise you never lef...

What do you call a deer who ran away with her ant lover?

An Antelope.

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A traveler walks into a bar...

As he sits down to order a drink, a man charges in screaming, "THE ANTELOPES ARE HERE THE ANTELOPES ARE HERE!"
The traveler watches in astonishment as the contents of the bar spills out of the room and into the streets where everyone starts fucking the antelopes. The man shakes his head, finishe...

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A man goes to prison

On his first night, he's pretty nervous. Somebody shouts out "34" and everybody else laughs. He thinks this is weird, but then 5 minutes later, somebody else shouts "23" and everybody else laughs. Then after another 10 minutes, a third prisoner shouts "16" and everybody laughs. His cellmate sees...

What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Antelopes

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Two guys are walking through a field in Montana

when they stumble across a well. The men look down the well and notice it is so deep, they can't see the bottom. One guys says to the other, "throw a stick into it, see how deep the well is." So the man finds a stick, tosses it in the well, the men wait for the splash...nothing. No sound. Curious to...

Big Artie

There once was a Hitman named Big Artie.

Things were tough in the Underworld at thew time, what with the Financial Crisis lately and such, the market hasn't been kind to his business. Because of this, he decides that he needs to put down the prices - It's been months since he'd had a job and ...

What do you get when ant's parents won't let him marry his girlfriend?

Antelopes.

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