Why don't antelopes play poker in the African grasslands?

Too many cheetahs.

What do you call an antelope that is forbidden to marry?

Cantelope.

Did you know that there’s a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house?

This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can’t jump

I once saw an antelope

Can you imagine that? It was the talk of the whole ant colony.

Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?

You're only allowed one carrion.

What do African antelope herders and dyslexic politicians have in common?

They're both very worried about gnu control.

What did the villager say after the stampede of bearded antelopes ended?

No Gnus is Good News!

Why did the antelope go to her sisters house?

She wanted to see her nephewlope

Why didn't the antelopes get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

Two guys are walking through a field in Montana

when they stumble across a well. The men look down the well and notice it is so deep, they can't see the bottom. One guys says to the other, "throw a stick into it, see how deep the well is." So the man finds a stick, tosses it in the well, the men wait for the splash...nothing. No sound. Curious to...

I fell out of a tree and landed on an antelope.

I was impala'd

OC: What does Babe Ruth and roughly 100,000 antelopes have in common?

They're both ballpark figures.

Did you hear about the antelope...

Did you hear about the antelope that was trampled by a herd of elephants while getting dressed?

He was a self dressed stamped antelope.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A famous chef and his wife are having marital problems

A world famous chef has been away for many months traveling the globe and preparing exotic dishes, and as his wife expects, sleeping with exotic women.

In an effort to save his skin, he pulls the wife aside and says "Honey, I know I have been away for a long time, but I promise you never lef...

One Happy Chief

An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant.

The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide.

A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.
...

What do you call a deer who ran away with her ant lover?

An Antelope.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A traveler walks into a bar...

As he sits down to order a drink, a man charges in screaming, "THE ANTELOPES ARE HERE THE ANTELOPES ARE HERE!"
The traveler watches in astonishment as the contents of the bar spills out of the room and into the streets where everyone starts fucking the antelopes. The man shakes his head, finishe...

What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Antelopes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to prison

On his first night, he's pretty nervous. Somebody shouts out "34" and everybody else laughs. He thinks this is weird, but then 5 minutes later, somebody else shouts "23" and everybody else laughs. Then after another 10 minutes, a third prisoner shouts "16" and everybody laughs. His cellmate sees...

Big Artie

There once was a Hitman named Big Artie.

Things were tough in the Underworld at thew time, what with the Financial Crisis lately and such, the market hasn't been kind to his business. Because of this, he decides that he needs to put down the prices - It's been months since he'd had a job and ...

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