What do you call an ox that’s gone gluten-free?

Silly yak.

I have the work ethic of an ox -

If you tie a yoke to my shoulders and whip me until I move, I'm probably going to get a lot done.

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Two guys want to start a farm and go to a farmer to buy an ox to plow their fields...

They examine the ox and notice that his eyes are crossed. They mention this to the farmer who explains that there's a solution for that, "You just take this pipe, stick it up the ox's ass and blow as hard as you can, watch." They stood at the ox's head while the farmer put the pipe in the ox's ass a...

What do you call an Ox with a gluten allergy?

A silly-yak.

My friend died when she saw a wild ox wearing a knitted jumper.

It was a Cardi Yak arrest.

Who is 50 feet tall, has a blue ox and kills co-eds?

Ted Bunyan.

A young lawyer died and stood before the gates of Heaven.

Lawyer: "St. Peter, what happened? I was as healthy as an ox, and I'd barely passed my 48th birthday!"

St. Peter: "48? According to your billable hours you were 172."

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A very large man asks for the time

A young man 6'7 and wide as an ox, he goes up to an older lady in the mall and he asks: "Scuze m,m,me m,m,ma'am do you havthes the time?"

Feeling sorry she can't help this man with a speech impediment she says to him: "Sorry sonny, my watch is in the shop being repaired"

The large ma...

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Two friends fly to spain

They decide to participate in a bullfight.

The first one goes up to the field and the ox runs at him really fast, suddenly a second before the collision, the bull turns on its back and wails in pain, the whole crowd cheers and exultes.

His friend asks him "How did you do it? I would ...

A guy runs into a saloon and yells "everybody clear out, Big John's comin' to town!"

A couple minutes later a mountain of a man rides into town on an ox and he's dragging a mountain lion on a chain behind him. He gets down and punches the ox and slams the mountain lion and says "You guys stay here."

He walks into the saloon, ripping the doors off the hinges. Walks up to the b...

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Three Cowboys are gathered around a fire...

It’s a lonesome night on the prairie, three cowboys with the bravado in which cowboys are famous are gathered around a fire, and a night of tall tales commences...

The first cowboy says “Just the other day, a bull got loose on the coral and gouged six men before I wrestled him down with my ba...

I saw a climate scientist eating pasta out of a pink leather bowl

He was eating carb on dyed ox hide

The Farmer and the Monk

A young farmhand was once unfortunate enough to share a room at the inn with an old monk, who talked incessantly from evening's light to morning glow about matters of philosophy and science. Bored of the one-sided conversation, the monk soon proposed a challenge of wits.


The farmhand was ...

Store owner: Good morning Janet! What can i get for you?

Janet: Something for dinner, please
Store owner: I have some lovely fresh ox tongue!
Janet: Oh, no! Yuck! I couldn't eat something that comes out of an animal's mouth! I'll just have a dozen egg

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Surprising the Cow

Little Johnny lives with his mother on a farm, one day he comes running in and screams: "Mommy, Mommy, the Ox is fucking the Cow". His Mother slaps him hard and says: "We don't use language like that in this house, the next time it happens, say 'The Ox is surprising the Cow'". Rubbing his cheek, Lit...

A man is taking his family to his father's funeral...

.. He is talking with his wife as his two children sit in the backseat, the daughter fiddles with her phone charger while the son listens in.

"Honey, I don't know what I'm going to say in his eulogy."

"Well, you could make comparisons, say he was as strong as an ox."

"Yeah, that...

King of the jungle...

A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!

Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows,
"Who is the mightiest of ...

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