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Kenny the rooster.

A couple saw an Ad for a rooster named Kenny in the paper for 100.00 and got curious. They called the seller and asked why he was so expensive. He said the rooster will fertilize everything he can get ahold of, and was a sure thing. He even talks occasionally. They went to see him.

When t...

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What do you get when your donkey bites off the legs of my rooster?

Two feet of my cock in your ass.

Little Billy came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home, Billy mentioned: Dad, our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs like that?

His father, thinking quickly, said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad, that's great," said little Billy.

A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad! Dad, we almost lost Mom t...

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A duck had sex with a chicken as the rooster watched with great excitement.

This somehow managed to created a new species, which was named after the rooster. Scientist called this species the “Cuck”.

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What's the different between a rooster and my ex girlfriend?

A rooster goes cockadoodledoo.

My ex goes anycock'lldo.

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What do you call a rooster watching his hen get fucked by another rooster?

A cluckold.

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On the sixth day, when God created man, he hesitated, and asked the rooster, "How many penises should I give man?"

The rooster replied, "a cock a dude'll do."

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I saw a homeless man with a sign that read “$1 for a dirty joke”

Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: “Look there, you can see a Rooster right? How many legs does it have?"

Me: “Two?”

Homeless man: “Correct, now how many wings does this Rooster have?”

Me: “Two?”

Homeless man: “Right...

What does a duck say when he is trying to be a rooster?

Quack. He's just a duck

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A farmer buys a young rooster...

As soon as he gets it home, the rooster fucks all the farmer’s 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the rooster screws all 150 hens again.

The next day, the rooster fucks the ducks and the geese. Sadly, later that day, the farmer finds the rooster laying on the ground half-dead with ...

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The horse and the rooster

So a horse and a rooster lived on a farm at the end of a dirt road. One day, the horse was walking down the road and fell into a deep mud hole. He was stuck!!! He hollered and hollered till finally the
Rooster heard him and came running. An idea struck the rooster so he ran back to the farm...

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Why is the rooster France's national emblem?

It's the only bird that still sings when it's standing on a shit pile.

Happy Bastille Day!

I tried incubating some chicks but turns out my rooster is sterile.

Oh well.
No harm, no fowl.

Sam the old rooster

Farmer has an old rooster "Sam", and this rooster has his own way of doing things.

The rooster would line all the hens up, facing the same direction, and off he went.

Wham, bam, thank you ma'am.

Wham, bam, thank you ma'am.

Wham, bam, thank you ma'am.

And so on unti...

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How does a rooster know if he's good enough for other roosters?

If he looks like a cock a dude'll do.

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Roosters are bisexual

If they can't find a female for their cock, a dude'll do

On my way to climb Mt. Everest, I came upon a local villager who said he had a rooster that laid eggs.

"How is that possible?" I asked.
"Himalayan rooster," he replied.

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What do you call a big rooster with black feathers?

Dave.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get a closer look at Dave, the big black cock I just mentioned.

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I poked fun at a huge rooster today.

It was a giant cock tease.

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Brewster the rooster, the horniest rooster there ever was (NSFW: language)

A lifelong farmer moved to a home much closer to town where he setup a small personal ranch to enjoy retirement with his wife. Among the various equipment and livestock that the new rancher needed, one staple item is a breeding rooster for his new henhouse. He heads to the farm auction the next week...

A rooster lays an egg on top of a roof. Which way does it roll?

Roosters don’t lay eggs.

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Why did the priest dig a rabbit hole for the rooster?

So he can stick his cock in before the first hare

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The Farmer and the Rooster LONG

A farmer has over 100 hens on his land, but not one rooster. He sees an ad in the local paper for "Stud Rooster, $50. Guaranteed or your money back", so he sends in the money. Two days later the crate arrives, and inside is the scrawniest rooster the farmer has ever seen.

The rooster looks...

What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

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My friend said that my haircut makes me look like a rooster

I said it’s a cock-a-doodle do.

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A farmer was out by his barn, repairing a fence.

A young hen came near him, pecking at the ground. He was surprised when he thought he heard a “psst”. The farm looked around and saw no one, so he continued his work.

Then he heard it, clear as day. “Hey. Down here.”

The farmer looked down and saw the hen looking at him.

“Did y...

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A farmer went to the market to buy a rooster

A farmer went to the market to buy a rooster to mate with his hens. Another farmer sold him one and warned him how horny the rooster was.

The farmer took the rooster home and as soon as he put it into the pen, it has sex with every chicken. 10 minutes later it then had sex with every chicken ...

This farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell.

The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster, named Kenny. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Kenny the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny.

The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barny...

Why did the rooster hide the menu from his wife?

He was looking at Chicken breast.

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A rooster and cat got into a fight...

...on a bridge. The cat pounced and the rooster ducked resulting in her falling into the river. The rooster rushed to save the cat. Why?

Because a cock loves a wet pussy.

A blonde woman called her brunette friend. "I'm doing a jigsaw puzzle at my apartment, but it's way too hard for me!"

"What's the jigsaw supposed to be?" asks the brunette.

"According to the box," says the blonde, "it's supposed to be a rooster."

When the brunette arrives at the blonde's apartment, she looks at the puzzle pieces. Then she look at the box. Then she says to the blonde, "I'm afraid you w...

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How many roosters does it take to fertilize an egg?

A cock-er-two'll-do!

Just heard this for the first time. And while on acid I laughed for two hours at this joke so I had to post it here

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

The rooster more than likely

They're vaccinating against bird flu again

Call it a rooster shot

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I saw a woman taking her pet for a walk

But I couldn't tell if it was a dog or a rooster.

I walked up to her and said "excuse me, can I ask what kind of pet that is?"

The woman replied "he's a cocker spaniel"

So I guess she didn't know either.

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whats the difference between a rooster and a hooker

one says cock-a-doodle-doo, and the other says any-cock-will-do

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A new farmer from the city

He's given up on city life and dropped everything and bough 20 acres in the country.

The problem is he doesn't know anything about farming. So he goes to the feed store to ask some friendly farmers for some help in the right direction.

Luckily an old farmer there is happy to see youn...

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Just found out that cockfighting is done with roosters.

That's 27 years of rigorous training, straight down the fucking drain.

Why did the rooster go to KFC?

He wanted to see a chicken strip

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Why did the hen share her crayons with the rooster?

So the cock could doodle too

New Rooster

A farmer’s rooster passed away so he went to a neighboring farm to get another one. Speaking to the other farmer - He watches the flock and sees a rooster running all over the place screwing every chicken he can get a hold of. The farmer says “ I think I’ll take that one.” The other farmer says “Oh,...

Little billy lives in the country and gets home from school one day to see the family rooster dead on the ground laying on it's back, legs up in the air. He asks his dad "why did it die in such a position?" His dad being religious and quick thinking says

"it's so God can just grab him by his feet and lift him off into heaven." Billy thinks this is ok. A few days go by and billy runs up to his dad and says "DAD, DAD! MOM ALMOST DIED, MOM ALMOST DIED! I heard her screaming Jesus I'm coming, Jesus I'm coming. and when I went to check on her, she was on...

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A Rooster With No Feathers on His Rump Walks into a Bar.....

Bartender: Can I help you?

Bird: I understand you have cocktails

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A priest lost his prized Rooster one day

He looked everywhere for it, but could not find it. The following Sunday, he made an announcement at mass:

"Anyone who has a cock, please stand up". All the men stood up

"No, no. Anyone who seen a cock stand up". Most of the congregation stood up

"No. Anyone who'd grabbed someon...

Brewster the Rooster

There once was a farmer who had a few chickens. For financial reasons, the farmer wanted to increase the egg production from his chickens and go into business. And so, the farmer set out to buy a rooster. He drove across the county to another farm that had many chickens and roosters.

The firs...

A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.

However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.

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A penis and a rooster both share a common nickname...

Probably because they're both usually up before you are..

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A Farmer

A farmer decided he wanted to go to town and see a movie. As he approached, the ticket agent asked, “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?”

The old farmer said, “That’s my pet rooster Chuck. Wherever I go, Chuck goes.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” said the ticket agent. “We can’t allow animals in th...

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with peanut butter?

A Cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth

Why did the rooster cross the road?

He heard there were some pretty hot chicks at KFC.

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Fred came home.....

Fred came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep sleep. He awoke before the pearly gates, where st Peter said, "you died in your sleep, Fred".

Fred was stunned. "I'm dead?? No, that can't be! I've got too much to live for. You have to send me back!"...

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What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

One goes cock-a-doodle-do whilst the other goes any-cockle-do

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Why did the restaurant chain call itself Red Rooster?

They didn't think Red Cock sounded very appetising.

What do you call a rooster who's abusive to his kids?

An egg beater

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NSFW Rooster likes to fuck.

OK so there's this farmer and he has a rooster, and this rooster loves to fuck. The farmer comes out of the house one morning and finds all his chickens have been fucked to death by this rooster. He says to the rooster, "if you don't stop fucking like this you're going to kill yourself" . The rooste...

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A chicken farmer goes to the swap meet in the morning to buy a new rooster for his farm.

He finds a very impressive cock and buys it. He brings the rooster home and before lunch time, that darn rooster had screwed every chicken on the farm. The farmer couldn't believe it. After lunch, that rooster had gone and screwed every chicken on the farm again.

As the sun was about to s...

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A man asked his friend how many legs a black rooster has

The friend says “2.”

Then the man asks “How many eyes does a black rooster have?”

The friend responds “2.” Again

Lastly the man asks “How many whiskers a white cat has?”

The friend says “I don’t know 8?”

The man then says “Well I’m curious on why you know more abou...

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Have you heard about the dyslexic homosexual rooster?

Dude’ll do a cock!

Imagine if roosters laid eggs.

So many dad yolks at our disposal.

What do roosters have in common with baseball?

Fowl balls.

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A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed.

At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried. Next morning,not only is the rooster screwing the hens but he is screwing the turkeys,ducks even the cow. Later farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, l...

A farmer bought a rooster to service his hens.

So, this farmer went out and bought a new rooster as a stud rooster. Every day, the farmer watched the rooster go service all the hens, then the rooster would start in on the pigs, the sheep, the cows, it would mate with them all. The farmer always shook his head and said, "One of these days.. one o...

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. What’s the moral of the story?

A wet pussy makes a cock feel good.

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The old rooster

In the farm, all the chickens gathered around the new rooster. He had arrived on the farm in the morning, and was looking at himself proudly as the old rooster of the farm (the only other male of the species in the vicinity) came to him.

The old rooster said, "See, boy, this is my farm. I cha...

Why did the rooster cross the road?

In these troubled times, it can be hard to truly understand anyone’s motivations. True, the grass is always greener on the other side, and one might cross the road in hopes that those pastures truly will be more full of bird seed and such. But in doing so, one risks not only the near certain death...

What do you call a cross between a rooster and a rabbit?

A hop a doodle doo!

Courtesy of my 9yr old daughter

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A man walks into a restaurant with a rooster under his arm.

A limousine stops before a restaurant and a well dressed man steps out, with a rooster under his arm.

After he's shown to a private table, he puts the rooster on the table and orders every item on the menu.

Flabbergasted, the waiter asks: "Excuse me sir, but are you sure you want all t...

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What did the pirate captain say when he caught his first mate hiding a rooster in his treasure chest?

**Get yer cock out of me booty!**

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My grandma told me this joke.

An older gentlemen with some money in his pocket was heading down an old country dirt road with peddlers and wares dealers every few miles.

He runs across a man with several of the biggest roosters he's ever seen, at a price even better. He has to have one, so he says "Sir! Sir! I must have o...

Old Butch

John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young laying hens, called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

Any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roost...

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I just learned today that cock fighting involves two roosters...

...well there goes a year and a half of intense training.

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This farmer has a roster that screws every living creature in sight...

Farmer's neighbor wants to breed his chickens, but his rooster was eaten by a fox, so he goes and asks his neighbor for help.

"Hey Joe... So, I know your roster has quite a sex drive. How about you make some money and wear him out a bit? I need about 200 of my hens bred and will pay you well ...

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A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster.

He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens.
When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"
So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before set...

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A rooster walks into a pet store

The clerk says, "Welcome! What are you looking for? A dog? A cat? A bird? Maybe a rabbit?"

The rooster replies, "A Cockatoo'll do!"

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I got a tattoo of a rooster in a noose on my shin.

I've always wanted a cock that hangs below my knee.

Why did the rooster go to the basketball game?

He heard that they blow fouls there.

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The priests rooster

The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.

He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.

The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.

At...

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Dirty Easter Joke

This rooster wakes up early Easter Sunday morning. He sticks his head out of the chicken coop, and sees all these multicolored eggs all over the barnyard. He takes a look at the eggs, takes a look at the hens, takes another look at the eggs, takes one more look at the hens, he thinks about it for a ...

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Hi, my name is Rico the Rooster, and I’m a sex addict.

Over the course of 12 months, Farmer Ted saved every penny that he could to purchase the prize winning rooster known as Rico. Little did he know, Rico the rooster was a sexy addict. Farmer Ted returned home from the prize winning rooster auction and began to introduce his farm animals to Rico, as so...

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Did you hear about the man with a rooster, a hen and a donkey?

He asked a guy on the street, "Hey, can you hold my cock and pullet, while I scratch my ass?"

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Someone told me opium was made out of ground rooster beaks.

But that's poppycock.

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After a night of drinking, Brian crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.



When he awoke, he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"



The mysterious Man answered "This isn...

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A farmer was looking for a new rooster as his old one after many years of faithful service had finally passed on.

When he told his neighbouring farmer about the problem he said "I have just the rooster for you , but I have to warn you Ron is one horny goat of a rooster". How horny can a rooster be the farmer said to himself. "OK sure I'll buy him off you". When the farmer got back to the farm with Ron the roost...

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What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

Rooster goes CockaDOODLEDOOO!!

Prostitute goes AnyCOCKLEDOOO!!


(Such an old joke maybe some of these young redditors have never heard it ;)

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A horny rooster

A farmer wakes up to find his rooster dead in the garden. Desperate that his chickens will no longer lay eggs, he goes to the market in search of another. Upon arrival he sees a a large, heavy built rooster so he asks the seller:

“Oi! How many bucks for that one?”

“5000 dollars!”
...

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Your mom is a rooster

Any cock'll do!

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