This farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell.

The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster, named Kenny. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Kenny the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny.

The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barny...

On my way to climb Mt. Everest, I came upon a local villager who said he had a rooster that laid eggs.

"How is that possible?" I asked.
"Himalayan rooster," he replied.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

whats the difference between a rooster and a hooker

one says cock-a-doodle-doo, and the other says any-cock-will-do

Little Billy came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard.

Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?" His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If your donkey bites a leg off my rooster, what do you have?

A foot of my cock in your ass.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a restaurant with a rooster under his arm.

A limousine stops before a restaurant and a well dressed man steps out, with a rooster under his arm.

After he's shown to a private table, he puts the rooster on the table and orders every item on the menu.

Flabbergasted, the waiter asks: "Excuse me sir, but are you sure you want all t...

A farmer bought a rooster to service his hens.

So, this farmer went out and bought a new rooster as a stud rooster. Every day, the farmer watched the rooster go service all the hens, then the rooster would start in on the pigs, the sheep, the cows, it would mate with them all. The farmer always shook his head and said, "One of these days.. one o...

WHAT do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad..

Why did the rooster cross the road?

He heard there were some pretty hot chicks at KFC.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why doesn't any man need more than one rooster?

A cock a dude'll do.

What do you call a rooster who's abusive to his kids?

An egg beater

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber...

He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said,"You died in your sleep Ralph."

Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead?No I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!

"St Peter said," I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."

Ralph...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you heard about the dyslexic homosexual rooster?

Dude’ll do a cock!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. What’s the moral of the story?

A wet pussy makes a cock feel good.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

One goes cock-a-doodle-do whilst the other goes any-cockle-do

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man asked his friend how many legs a black rooster has

The friend says “2.”

Then the man asks “How many eyes does a black rooster have?”

The friend responds “2.” Again

Lastly the man asks “How many whiskers a white cat has?”

The friend says “I don’t know 8?”

The man then says “Well I’m curious on why you know more abou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the restaurant chain call itself Red Rooster?

They didn't think Red Cock sounded very appetising.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?

A rooster clucks defiant.

The lawyer fucks the client.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A penis and a rooster both share a common nickname...

Probably because they're both usually up before you are..

Why did the rooster cross the road?

In these troubled times, it can be hard to truly understand anyone’s motivations. True, the grass is always greener on the other side, and one might cross the road in hopes that those pastures truly will be more full of bird seed and such. But in doing so, one risks not only the near certain death...

Brewster the Rooster

There once was a farmer who had a few chickens. For financial reasons, the farmer wanted to increase the egg production from his chickens and go into business. And so, the farmer set out to buy a rooster. He drove across the county to another farm that had many chickens and roosters.

The firs...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW Rooster likes to fuck.

OK so there's this farmer and he has a rooster, and this rooster loves to fuck. The farmer comes out of the house one morning and finds all his chickens have been fucked to death by this rooster. He says to the rooster, "if you don't stop fucking like this you're going to kill yourself" . The rooste...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the hen share her crayons with the rooster?

So the cock could doodle too

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest lost his prized Rooster one day

He looked everywhere for it, but could not find it. The following Sunday, he made an announcement at mass:

"Anyone who has a cock, please stand up". All the men stood up

"No, no. Anyone who seen a cock stand up". Most of the congregation stood up

"No. Anyone who'd grabbed someon...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken farmer goes to the swap meet in the morning to buy a new rooster for his farm.

He finds a very impressive cock and buys it. He brings the rooster home and before lunch time, that darn rooster had screwed every chicken on the farm. The farmer couldn't believe it. After lunch, that rooster had gone and screwed every chicken on the farm again.

As the sun was about to s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a farmer buys a cock and brings it home, as soon as he lets the rooster go it screws all 150 hen and impresses the farmer.

One day a farmer buys a cock and brings it home, as soon as he lets the cock go it screws all 150 hens and impresses the farmer,
the next day the cock screws all the ducks and geese too. On the third day the farmer sees the cock laying on the ground passed out with the vultures circling overhead...

Why did the rooster go to KFC?

He wanted to see a chicken strip

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster.

He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens.
When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"
So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before set...

Why don't roosters lay eggs?

They are too busy laying hens

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rooster walks into a pet store

The clerk says, "Welcome! What are you looking for? A dog? A cat? A bird? Maybe a rabbit?"

The rooster replies, "A Cockatoo'll do!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The old rooster

In the farm, all the chickens gathered around the new rooster. He had arrived on the farm in the morning, and was looking at himself proudly as the old rooster of the farm (the only other male of the species in the vicinity) came to him.

The old rooster said, "See, boy, this is my farm. I cha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a homeless man with a sign that said “1 dollar for dirty joke."

Seemed like a good investment to me so | gladly
handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: “There is black rooster alright? How many legs
does that chicken have?"

Me: “Two?”

Homeless man: “Right, now how many wings this black rooster
got?”

Me: “Two?”

Homeless man...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just found out that cockfighting is done with roosters.

That's 27 years of rigorous training, straight down the fucking drain.

A farmer had three sons.

One day his oldest came to him and said that since he was graduating from high school, he would really like to get a car. His father said, "Son, come here." He took him to the barn and pointed to the tractor and said, "This tractor is needed for the farm and I promise, as soon as it's paid for, we'l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the pirate captain say when he caught his first mate hiding a rooster in his treasure chest?

**Get yer cock out of me booty!**

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Starting a farm

A man decides to start a farm. So he walks into town to buy some animals. At the farmers’ market he first asks for a rooster.

“We don’t call them roosters here,” the clerk says snootily. “We call ’em cocks.”

So the man buys one cock, then points at another animal and asks, “What do you...

What do you call a cross between a rooster and a rabbit?

A hop a doodle doo!

Courtesy of my 9yr old daughter

A hen lays a shockingly huge egg.

News reporters visit the hen for an interview. “This is amazing,” they tell the hen, “a two pound egg, that’s unheard of!

Do you have any goals for the future?”

“Yes, I’m really aiming for a four pounder!” says the hen proudly.

“And you, sir, congratulations,” the reporters app...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Your mom is a rooster

Any cock'll do!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] The rooster decided to enroll in a foreign language class down on the farm...

Should I learn to speak horse, or cow, he wondered. Or pig? Finally, he decided he would learn to speak turkey.

When he came home from class, however he was crying. Mama hen asked him, " did something happen at school today?"

"Yes Mama, I had to file a sexual harassment claim against m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed.

At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried. Next morning,not only is the rooster screwing the hens but he is screwing the turkeys,ducks even the cow. Later farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A farmer got a new rooster for his farm.

Once arrived in the farm, the rooster immediately took off to chase after the chickens in the barn.

Without pause and little sleep for the rooster, the farmer eventually found him laying dead on the open field three days later.

The farmer huffs at him: "Kinda served you right, y'know...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone told me opium was made out of ground rooster beaks.

But that's poppycock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer had a very horny rooster

He fucked all the hens yard till they died. That also didn't satisfied him. So he fucked all the ducks till death. Then all the emu's till death. Then he turned to mammals. That horny rooster killed all the cows and Buffalo's.

The farmer was very troubled due to that roosters behavior. One da...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer went to the market to buy a rooster to mate with his hens

Another farmer sold him one and warned him how horny the rooster was.

The farmer took the rooster home and as soon as he put it into the pen, it has sex with every chicken. 10 minutes later it then had sex with every chicken again. Out of fear for the health of his chickens, he put it in a se...

Manager: I told everyone to lay three eggs a day, why did you lay one?

Employee: i did my best sir, but actually I'm a rooster

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got a tattoo of a rooster in a noose on my shin.

I've always wanted a cock that hangs below my knee.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hi, my name is Rico the Rooster, and I’m a sex addict.

Over the course of 12 months, Farmer Ted saved every penny that he could to purchase the prize winning rooster known as Rico. Little did he know, Rico the rooster was a sexy addict. Farmer Ted returned home from the prize winning rooster auction and began to introduce his farm animals to Rico, as so...

Chicken Dinner

A farm family invited their new pastor over for a Sunday chicken dinner. After a delicious meal, the pastor seemed to be the only one that noticed a rooster outside crowing almost non-stop. He finally had to ask the farmer, "Excuse me. I grew up in the city and I thought roosters only made noise ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a farmer wakes up one morning and looks out the window and sees his prize rooster laying in the middle of the barnyard stiff as a board with buzzards circling overhead.

With his only rooster dead, he decides to go to the market to buy a new rooster. At the market he sees a stall with a very nice looking rooster and he asks the seller how much he wants for the rooster and the seller tells him $1000. The farmer is absolutely shocked at this price, but the seller tell...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just learned today that cock fighting involves two roosters...

...well there goes a year and a half of intense training.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend was devastated when he found out that cockfighting is done with roosters.

He wasted six months of his life training for nothing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the man with a rooster, a hen and a donkey?

He asked a guy on the street, "Hey, can you hold my cock and pullet, while I scratch my ass?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer was looking for a new rooster as his old one after many years of faithful service had finally passed on.

When he told his neighbouring farmer about the problem he said "I have just the rooster for you , but I have to warn you Ron is one horny goat of a rooster". How horny can a rooster be the farmer said to himself. "OK sure I'll buy him off you". When the farmer got back to the farm with Ron the roost...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't the Jamaican Rooster have any friends?

Because he was a Jerk Chicken!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Farmers New Rooster

A farmer bought a bought a rooster and said roster was delivered later that day in a wooden crate. The farmer was excited to finally get a new rooster because he had over 50 hens but not a single rooster. As soon as he pried the crate open the rooster went straight to the hens and started to have se...

Why didn't the rooster tell Dad Jokes?

He was afraid his kids would crack up!

Chickens lay eggs, but who lays the chickens?

The rooster of course!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The priests rooster

The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.

He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.

The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.

At...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The little rooster

It is a beautiful summers day when Rocky the rooster is taking his son out of the house for the first time.

"Son" the rooster says, "today you will become a man!"

The young rooster jumps up and down in pure excitement. "What are we going to do dad!?"

"Well son, my buddy Jeff tol...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is shaving your dick and balls like time travel for roosters?

It turns an old cock into tender meat and eggs.

Happy Father's Day!

Butch the Rooster

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilise the eggs.



She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.



This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and a...

The Farmer was careful to monitor the ratio of roosters to chickens

He was trying to control ova population.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A peasant goes to the lord of the land...

A peasant goes to the lord of the land and says

"My lord, if us peasants don't get any new livestock soon, we will be forced to revolt!"

The Lord replies

"We'll give out free roosters then!"

The peasant then asks

"How many roosters should each man get?"

The...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks in to a bar with a large rooster

A guy walks in to a bar with a large rooster. He goes to the counter and sits on a stool with the rooster next to him.

"I'd like a whiskey, a few crisps, pour something for yourself as well, and... give me a beer."

"Very well"

After the guy has finished drinking.

"Okay, s...

I asked my rooster what he wanted to drink....

Diet Coke’l dooooo!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horny rooster

A farmer wakes up to find his rooster dead in the garden. Desperate that his chickens will no longer lay eggs, he goes to the market in search of another. Upon arrival he sees a a large, heavy built rooster so he asks the seller:

“Oi! How many bucks for that one?”

“5000 dollars!”
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

City slicker buys an old farm

There was a gentlemen from the city who decided he wanted to live a simpler life. He buys an old empty farm. Going to the local general store by his new homestead, he asks where he can get some animals. The owner tells him to go to Old Man Murphy’s farm down the road a ways and he will get him all s...

What do you call an intrepid rooster?

Marco "Pollo"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you cross a rooster and an owl?

A cock that stays up all night

How did the rooster meet the hen?

Chicken tinder....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I dressed up like a giant rooster and scared my wife.

Apparently she doesn’t like boo cocky.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A clam and a rooster meet up for a date.

Cockle do? Cock a doodle do!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Married couple couldn’t sleep

There was once this married couple that lived next to a farm.

They’ve always wanted to live in a rural area because it would allow them to escape the madness of a big boomin’ city.

However, one night when they were sleeping, a rooster starting going crazy and making all of this noise...

What is a Mexican Roosters' favorite meal?

Hen-chiladas

Why did the rooster cross the basketball court?

He heard the ref was blowing fowls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Chinese are celebrating the year of the rooster

Meanwhile the Americans are celebrating the year of the cock

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

Rooster goes CockaDOODLEDOOO!!

Prostitute goes AnyCOCKLEDOOO!!


(Such an old joke maybe some of these young redditors have never heard it ;)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer trained his rooster to peel the husks off of corn

What a cock-shucker

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken farmer buys a new rooster. . .

And he's assured by his friend who sold it to him that he's the perfect breeder.
Feeling a little sceptical, the farmer still takes the rooster back to his farm. No sooner then putting the rooster is let out of his box then it runs into the barn and starts having sex with every hen it can find....

A young man's truck breaks down in rural Georgia right next to a farm

After trying (and failing) to fix his truck, he decides to ask the farmer if he can spend the night at his house. The farmer reluctantly agrees, saying "The only room I have available is across from my 18 year old daughter's room. I don't want to see you trying anything." As the farmer leads the you...

What’s a rooster’s favorite dating app?

Chicken Tinder

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.