What are a male donkey’s pronouns?

He / haw

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Priest and his Donkey

A young priest wanted to raise money for his church, and seeing that there was a fortune in horse racing, he decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However , at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep that the priest ended up buying a donkey.

The priest fig...

About the chicken and a donkey

On the farm lived a Chicken and a Donkey, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the Donkey fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the donkey 'hee-hawed' for the chicken to go get the Farmer for help!
Off the Chicken ran, back to the farm. Arri...

I hear that Chad Kroeger from Nickelback, absolutely loves to take part in Nativity plays. He's played a shepherd, the inn keeper and one year, he even played the rear end of the donkey...

But he never made it as a wise man

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What do you call a donkey with wings?

A pegasass.

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What does Bruce Willis, a donkey with sunglasses on, and my ex have in common?

They’re all bad ass.

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I spent many hours trying to attach a faucet to a donkey.

I tapped that ass all night.

I just killed a donkey…

Dead ass

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What is donkey bread made of?

Dat ass dough…

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What do you call a donkey that's on fire?

The hottest ass you've ever seen

Dixie Kong ran up to Donkey Kong crying..

"What wrong?" asked Donkey Kong.

"Someone told me I could get bananas from a hornet's nest so I hit it and the hornets came out and chased me!" Dixie sobs.

"Sounds like you did a Diddy." says Donkey.

"A Diddy? What's that mean?" asks Dixie.

DK explains, "I'm sayin, 'Do a ...

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What do you call a donkey who is always getting up to mischief, is tall and thin, forgot his morning coffee, is handsome and strong, smells really bad, loves country music, has one eye, and three legs?

A hanky-panky, lanky, cranky, spunky, hunky, stinky dinky, honky tonky, winky, wonky donkey!

An old couple are celebrating 75 years of marriage

At the party one of the grandkids asks the Grandma what is the secret to such a long happy marriage as they never seed to argue or disagree about anything. The grandma tells them a story of when they first got married.

"It was our wedding day and we were very poor so we were heading to our h...

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My donkey keeps eating the glass out of my window

It is a real pane in the ass.

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A man was surprised to find out his donkey is pregnant.

He thought it's impossible to get pregnant by coming in ass.

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A dwarf walks into a brothel with a honeycomb and a donkey.

The brothel keeper asks how she can help him. He says, "I need a woman, because mine has left me."

The keeper says "Why? And what are the honeycomb and donkey for?" The dwarf says, "My wife found a genie in a bottle, and he granted her three wishes. The first, she asked for a house fit for a ...

How does a male donkey laugh at a mediocre joke

He haws

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Donkey Woman

A guy and his wife walked into a bar one day, the wife takes a seat and the guy goes up to the bar.

The barman goes over to the guy and asks him what he wants, the guy replies", I'll have a bottle of bud and an orange juice for the jackass".

The barman looks at the guy puzzled but say'...

A man crosses the border each morning on a donkey...

...and each day, his donkey is loaded with only bags of straw. When he reaches the bridge marking the border, the tax collectors search his bags to calculate what duty he must pay on his exports. Every day, they find nothing. And yet, in the evening, after their shift has finished and they are in th...

What would a donkey's pronouns be?

Hee-Her

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I recently received a letter about my donkey dying, but as I was reading it, a gust of wind caught it and blew it up into the sky.

It became an ass ending sending ascending.

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When I tell women about my 12” donkey dick...

They’re like “ooh I want to see it”


But when I take it out of the freezer, they’re all “I have to be going.”

What do you call a donkey with three legs

A wonkey

What do you call a person with 2 donkeys?

Biased

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What do you get when your donkey bites off the legs of my rooster?

Two feet of my cock in your ass.

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Just had to stop for a donkey crossing the road.

Cool thing was he looked both ways before he crossed.

What a smart ass.

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A man goes to an animal market

He goes up to a rooster seller and buys a rooster.

The seller hands it to him and says, "Oh, in this business, we call it a cock".

The man takes note and goes to buy a hen from a seller.

The seller hands it to him after paying and tells him "By the way, in this business, we call...

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Did you guys hear the one about where a donkey got into a hat store destroying all the hats and the cops had to come and kill it?

It was pretty crazy, dead ass no cap.

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A man walks into a bar with a donkey and an ostrich.

He sits down at the counter and asks for a beer.

“That will be 5.98$, sir.”, the bartender says.

The man, puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out 5 dollars and 98 cents in exact change.

“How much will it cost to buy everyone here a round of drinks?”, the man asks, taking a s...

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A team of archaeologists were excavating in Israel when they found a cave with the symbols of a woman, a donkey, a shovel, a fish and a Star of David on the wall.

Pointing to the first drawing, the head of the team declared: 'This indicates that these people were family oriented and held women in high position. The donkey shows that they were intelligent enough to use animals to till the soil. The shovel means that they were able to forge tools. Even further ...

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I was riding a donkey the other day when someone threw a rock at me and I fell off.

I guess I was stoned off my ass.

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A man is riding his donkey in the desert looking for treasure.

They go 5 miles, and pass an oasis, the donkey looks back, and the man goes,

“Just a little longer, Jackass.

They go 10 miles, and pass another oasis, the donkey looks back, and the man goes,

“Just a little longer, Jackass.”

They go 15 miles, and pass another oasis, the...

What sound does a Swiss donkey make on a mountain?

Yodel-ay-hee-haw

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[NSFW] What would you call Oedipus if he was a donkey?

A dumbass motherfucker

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A man accepts a job in a village with no women. Once there, he asks a local: -There is really no women here? -None. -So... How do you guys do when you need to have sex?

There is a donkey close to the river for that.

The man tries to ignore and go home, where he can see the river and therefore, the donkey. After months in that village, every day the donkey seemed a little more attractive, so one day when a few other men asked him if he'd like to go to the don...

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Happy Thanksgiving!

If the natives had given the pilgrams donkeys instead of turkeys, we would all be eating Ass for Thanksgiving!

A fantasy joke

A dwarf rides up to a brothel on the back of a donkey holding a honeycomb wrapped in oilskin. He walks up to the madam.

"My good woman, I've been alone on the road for weeks. I would trade you this donkey," he said, gesturing at the beast he rode in on, "For a room and a woman, and this honey...

If a donkey bucks you in the face...

...is it still considered an "ass-kicking"?

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Why will donkeys never become fossorial?

Because the world already has enough assholes

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The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey, that he entered it in the race again and it won again.


The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.


The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
...

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing?"

Student : "Brotherly love".

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My donkey fell down an abandoned well...

Long stoty short: I have to take care of an asshole now.

2 guys walk into a bar

"Hey donkey get the beers in" shouts one guy to the other.

The man walks up to the barman and stutters " two bee... two bee... two beers please?" the barman starts to pour the mans beer when the guys friend shouts "Donkey! get me some nuts too"

The man stood at the bar says to the barm...

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Why isn't a mule as good as a donkey?

They always half-ass everything.

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Why did the limp Donkey cross the road ?..ahh forget it

.. sorry for such a lame ass joke.

Donkey could take down Bruce Lee...

...because he entered the dragon

I once knew a Formula 1 driver who had a day job trucking donkeys.

He was never a good driver, but he hauled ass!

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A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar...

Now that’s a sweet ass.

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The lost and found attendant said I couldn't have my lost donkey, so we got into a fight.

Needless to say, I got my ass handed to me.

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'" asked the lawyer.

Farmer Joe responded, "Well. I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite donkey Bessie into the... "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'". Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Be...

Who is the most famous donkey?

Donkey Hotay

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A young farmer is tending to his crop. A car pulls up and a man says, "Hey! See that guy over there? Well, he just told me your mother fucked a donkey and you're the result!"

The young farmer says, "What? That jerk? Ignore him. Hee-haways says that."

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We used to have a moat around our yard that the neighbors’ donkeys would always fall into when they came onto our property.

It was a real ass hole.

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My donkey just ate the last of my French bread

It's a pain in the ass situation

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The bish and the donkey.

A rural pastor had trouble getting hold of enough money for church roof repairs. So the parish comes up with the idea to pool their money and buy a race horse. The collection is done, and when the pastor goes shopping, he only has enough for a donkey. Nonetheless he buys the donkey and enters it int...

A donkey, mule, and a horse walk into a bar

On their way to the bar a man looks at the donkey and yells “what an ass!”

The equestrians shrug off this distasteful jab and continue towards the bar.

The same man stands up and looks at the mule saying “I’d yell all day but now I’m a little horse!”

The equestrians ignore the m...

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What did the vampire say after drinking the donkey's blood?

Tastes like ass.

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What do you get when you mix a donkey and an onion

A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye

A traditional tunisian joke I was told by my grandmother and she heard from hers

The bey(King) was missing his mistress who was living far away. He decided to pay her a visit wearing his more expensive clothes, but out of precaution, he decided to first ask his wazir(minister) of weather whether there would be rain on that day.
The wazir paused for 5 minutes, assessing the cl...

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What happens when you put Donald Trump and a female sex crazed donkey in the same room?

Nothing. Even donkeys have standards.

Lesson in History The king wanted to go fishing and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.

So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way they met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and the king asked the man if the fish were biting.

The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm."

The king r...

When is a donkey spelled with one letter?

When it's U!

Donkey Lives Matter

Two terrorists having discussion in a bar. The waiter asks them what the discussion was about? Terrorist :- We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey.. Waiter :- Why a donkey? Then one terrorist says to the other, "See I told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand people".

The new priest

A new priest was nervous before his first sermon, so the monseigneur told him to have a bit of a drink before mass to take off the edge.

The new priest took the advice. After the sermon he returned to the rectory to find a note. It read:

Good sermon today, but a few small points:
<...

What did the donkey say when his owner kept poking him?

Stop fingering your ass!

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Scientists have recently created a new hybrid by mating a male donkey and a female deer.

It isn't very beautiful, but that ass doe

Did you hear about the donkey that neglected its kids to go work out every day?

Such a jacked ass

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A farmer quickly purchased land in a low-lying depression and began raising donkeys there. He did so with skill and the donkeys rarely got away.

Long story short, he hauled ass to amass asses in a hole asset, whole-ass not half-ass, lassoed the asses so that they wouldn't bypass the ass hole.

What do you call a 3 legged donkey ?

A wonkey .
What do you call a 3 legged donkey who is blind in one eye ?
A blinky wonkey .
What do you call a 3 legged donkey who is blind in one eye and loves Hank Williams ?
A honky tonky blinky wonkey donkey.

Two donkeys are standing at a roadside,

one asks the other: Shall we cross?

His friend replies: No way, look what happened to that zebra.

Once a certain donkey driver turned to Khoja Nasreddin: “Oh, wise one, explain one thing to me, otherwise I will lose my mind.”

\- I was given ten donkeys to drive to another city, and I hit the road. Before the road, I counted them, there were 10. I sat on a donkey and we drove off. On the way, I decided to count the donkeys again, and, to my horror, there were nine of them. Then I decided to make a halt, dismounted, and ag...

Not sure why people are getting grief for using ivermectin to combat covid

The label clearly states it is safe for use in donkeys and jackassess.

A man baught a donkey from a preacher

The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way (being the donkey of a preacher). The only way to make the donkey go, is to say, "Hallelujah!"

The only way to make the donkey stop, is to say, "Amen!"

The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately...

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Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100

The next day the donkey died.

Farmer: Sorry to hear about the donkey.

Paddy: No problem. I’ll just have my money back.

Farmer: I’ve spent it

Paddy: Ok. I’ll raffle him off.

Farmer: You can’t raffle a dead donkey!

Paddy: Watch me! I just won’t tell anybody...

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Went for a job interview for a blacksmiths apprentice

I was asked "have you ever shooed a horse before?" I said "no, but I once told a donkey to fuck off"

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What do you get if a donkey falls off a road?

Ass-phalt

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My elderly donkey got bludgeoned badly by a large horned mountain goat now I can't walk right.

In other words my old ass got rammed.

I'm a girl training in MMA. My instructor just taught me how to do the donkey kick!

He says we're going to work on the donkey punch tomorrow!

I'm trying to get my aunt and uncle to buy a donkey...

But I don't wanna be an ass

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every hole of a donkey is an asshole

that is all

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What’s it called when a donkey kicks you?

Ass-ault

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So, my friend bought a cute baby donkey

First, he taught it to walk and run. It grew up to carry anything and still run at great speed. After that, he taught it to be friendly to everyone. It grew up to be a great emotional support animal. He taught it to study and read. It grew up to advance animal consciousness research.

So, afte...

A HTML developer was walking down the street when he was greeted by a donkey.

"Hello Mr Programmer", the donkey said, "how are you?".

"mighty fine, thank you donkey", the HTML dev replied.

Immediately the donkey started crying.

"What's the matter little friend?" the HTML dev asked.

"I called you a programmer, at least you could call me horse" t...

A donkey and a horse met in a bar

After talking for a few minutes they decided to go to the horse's house. When they arrived the donkey noticed that the horse had a lot of trophies and medals all across the walls, he asked him:

"Where did you get all of this things?"

"I am a race horse, I won them", the horse replied.<...

I was gonna tell you a joke I came up with about a were-donkey,

but I decided it was too half-assed

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A nun buys a donkey and enters it in a local horse race

Remarkably, the donkey is incredibly quick and manages to win. The local paper reads *Local nun has winning ass*.

She enters it into a second race, and again it wins. The local paper reads *Nun has best ass in town*.

The priest is annoyed by these headlines, but the prize money is seri...

The Nagging wife.Frank the farmer had a nagging wife. She made his life miserable. The only real peace he got was when he was out in the field plowing.

One day while in the field, Frank’s wife brought him his lunch. Then while he quietly ate she berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Frank’s old donkey kicked up his back legs, struck her in the head killing her instantly.

At the funeral, the Priest noticed t...

A man asked his wife: how many teeth does a donkey have?

The wife's response: I don't know honey, look in the mirror, open your mouth, and count them.

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When carriages were first invented they had the donkey constantly backing up so they could maintain eye contact with the driver and remain calm.

Soon afterwards however they realized that the idea was completely ass backwards.

Two brothers and their donkeys

Two brothers argue on which of the two donkeys is theirs,
so the first man says, ” I’ll cut an ear off of my donkey and the donkey with only one ear will be mine you take the other one”. So they come to an agreement. At night the donkey with one ear looks at the other donkey with two ears in jea...

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A farmer had a donkey that will only eat part of its food.

It was very strong and fit, but whenever they were given food, they left a significant portion.

At one point, another farmer comes by and, seeing as how the donkey is big and strong, wants to buy it.

So the first farmer parts with his donkey.

The next day, the second farmer come...

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A guy and his donkey walk into a bar

the bartender says to the man: "Get your ass out of here."

I just shot a donkey

Deadass

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Apparently I'm going to hell because I infected the Donkey next door.

They said I must not COVID my neighbor's ass.

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Me: I'm afraid of corpses and donkeys

My therapist: Deadass?

Me: *screams*

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Why don’t you ever see donkeys in school?

Because nobody likes a smart ass.

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Why do donkey trailers go faster when they're full?

Because they're hauling ass.

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Did you hear about the man who got hit by rocks while riding a donkey?

He was stoned off his ass...

Where does a donkey farmer hide his drugs?

In his ass!

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NSFW I once had sex with my girlfriend in a huge donkey taxidermy

She got fucked in the ass

The donkey once asked the Persian horse: "Do you play any instruments?" The horse replied:

"Ney"

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What were the bees and the donkeys talking about?

None of your bees’n’ass.

My two British neighbours had their donkey escape from the barn, and are desperately looking for it.

They are assless chaps.

I told my friend that I shot a donkey.

“You’re lying.” he said.

I replied, “No, deadass!”

What's the difference between a teeter totter on a ranch and a donkey's grandpa?

One's a yee haw seesaw and the other is a hee haw peepaw.

A man went to the doctor and told him, "Every night for the past month and a half, I have dreams in which I have wrestling matches with donkeys."

The doctor gave him some pills and said, "Take these, and your dreams will go away."

"Can I start taking them tomorrow?" the man asked.

"Why?" the doctor inquired.

"Because I'm scheduled to wrestle in the championship match tonight," he replied.

What do you call a donkey with one leg?

A wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye?
A winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye making love?
A bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye, making love while breaking wind? <...

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A male donkey is called an ass

A female donkey is called an asset

What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?

A wonky

I am so sorry about that one. My 6 year old cousin came running to me with that one, then proceeded to spend 30 minutes crying with laughter as if he is the best comedian.

What do you get when you have Avogadro's number of donkeys?

Molasses.

What do you call a donkey sleeping on an elevated bed

An ascot

A newly wed couple is riding through the field on a donkey-cart.

After a while the donkey trips up. The man calmly gets down and looks the donkey squarely in the eyes.

"This, is the first time," he says.

Terrified the donkey keeps trotting on and tries his best to not trip again, but eventually they get to wet grass and he can't help slipping. The m...

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If you had a donkey

If you had a donkey.

And I had a rooster.

And if your donkey ate both my roosters feet, what would you have?

Two feet of cock in your ass.

My favourite joke, I have never seen it here so I thought I would share.
P.S. my first post so please be kind.

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A man gets a new job in a remote village with no women.

A few days after he gets there he asks a local, “You really have no women here?”.

“None” replies the man.

“Okay...so what do you do if you want to have sex?” he asks with concern in his voice.

“Oh that’s no problem, there’s a donkey tied up close to the river for that.”

T...

If you mix a lion and a tiger you get a liger. If you mix a horse and a donkey you get a mule. What happens when you mix an orangutan and a lawyer?

Nothing. The lawyer doesn't have enough human DNA.

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One of my employees called in sick today because his donkey broke it's leg and he had to wait on a vet...

I'll admit, it was a lame ass excuse.

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I have a large horny donkey named Richard

He's a huge fucking dickass

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I used to spend a lot of my time sculpting a big donkey with my face on it.

I stopped when I realized I was just making a huge ass of myself.

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Old Macdonald, feeling lonely on his farm, asks his donkey what his favorite quality in a woman is. His donkey replies.

"I'm an ass man"

Donkey joke

Bob’s having a beer in a bar, as you do. Another guy walks in and the barman shouts ‘hey here’s donkey’ and everyone laughs. Bob being a decent bloke goes up to the guy now sitting alone in the corner and asks ‘hey mate why does he call you donkey’. Guy replies ‘I don’t know .....he haw, he haw, he ...

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