What are a male donkey’s pronouns?

He / haw

A man crosses the border each morning on a donkey...

...and each day, his donkey is loaded with only bags of straw. When he reaches the bridge marking the border, the tax collectors search his bags to calculate what duty he must pay on his exports. Every day, they find nothing. And yet, in the evening, after their shift has finished and they are in th...

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I recently received a letter about my donkey dying, but as I was reading it, a gust of wind caught it and blew it up into the sky.

It became an ass ending sending ascending.

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A dwarf walks into a brothel with a honeycomb and a donkey.

The brothel keeper asks how she can help him. He says, "I need a woman, because mine has left me."

The keeper says "Why? And what are the honeycomb and donkey for?" The dwarf says, "My wife found a genie in a bottle, and he granted her three wishes. The first, she asked for a house fit for a ...

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Donkey Woman

A guy and his wife walked into a bar one day, the wife takes a seat and the guy goes up to the bar.

The barman goes over to the guy and asks him what he wants, the guy replies", I'll have a bottle of bud and an orange juice for the jackass".

The barman looks at the guy puzzled but say'...

What do you call a person with 2 donkeys?

Biased

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[NSFW] What would you call Oedipus if he was a donkey?

A dumbass motherfucker

What do you call a donkey with only 3 legs?

A Wonkey!

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What do you get when your donkey bites off the legs of my rooster?

Two feet of my cock in your ass.

What would a donkey's pronouns be?

Hee-Her

Donkey could take down Bruce Lee...

...because he entered the dragon

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What do you call a donkey cleaning your windows

An ass wipe

If a donkey bucks you in the face...

...is it still considered an "ass-kicking"?

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing?"

Student : "Brotherly love".

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Why will donkeys never become fossorial?

Because the world already has enough assholes

What do you call a Donkey Kong game that is set during the Great Depression?

The Apes of Wrath

I once knew a Formula 1 driver who had a day job trucking donkeys.

He was never a good driver, but he hauled ass!

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A man walks into a bar with a donkey and an ostrich.

He sits down at the counter and asks for a beer.

“That will be 5.98$, sir.”, the bartender says.

The man, puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out 5 dollars and 98 cents in exact change.

“How much will it cost to buy everyone here a round of drinks?”, the man asks, taking a s...

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Why isn't a mule as good as a donkey?

They always half-ass everything.

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I was riding a donkey the other day when someone threw a rock at me and I fell off.

I guess I was stoned off my ass.

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When I tell women about my 12” donkey dick...

They’re like “ooh I want to see it”


But when I take it out of the freezer, they’re all “I have to be going.”

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A team of archaeologists were excavating in Israel when they found a cave with the symbols of a woman, a donkey, a shovel, a fish and a Star of David on the wall.

Pointing to the first drawing, the head of the team declared: 'This indicates that these people were family oriented and held women in high position. The donkey shows that they were intelligent enough to use animals to till the soil. The shovel means that they were able to forge tools. Even further ...

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'" asked the lawyer.

Farmer Joe responded, "Well. I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite donkey Bessie into the... "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'". Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Be...

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A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar...

Now that’s a sweet ass.

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The lost and found attendant said I couldn't have my lost donkey, so we got into a fight.

Needless to say, I got my ass handed to me.

Who is the most famous donkey?

Donkey Hotay

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We used to have a moat around our yard that the neighbors’ donkeys would always fall into when they came onto our property.

It was a real ass hole.

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Went for a job interview for a blacksmiths apprentice

I was asked "have you ever shooed a horse before?" I said "no, but I once told a donkey to fuck off"

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A young farmer is tending to his crop. A car pulls up and a man says, "Hey! See that guy over there? Well, he just told me your mother fucked a donkey and you're the result!"

The young farmer says, "What? That jerk? Ignore him. Hee-haways says that."

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Why did the limp Donkey cross the road ?..ahh forget it

.. sorry for such a lame ass joke.

A donkey, mule, and a horse walk into a bar

On their way to the bar a man looks at the donkey and yells “what an ass!”

The equestrians shrug off this distasteful jab and continue towards the bar.

The same man stands up and looks at the mule saying “I’d yell all day but now I’m a little horse!”

The equestrians ignore the m...

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A man is riding his donkey in the desert looking for treasure.

They go 5 miles, and pass an oasis, the donkey looks back, and the man goes,

“Just a little longer, Jackass.

They go 10 miles, and pass another oasis, the donkey looks back, and the man goes,

“Just a little longer, Jackass.”

They go 15 miles, and pass another oasis, the...

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What do you get when you mix a donkey and an onion

A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye

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Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100

The next day the donkey died.

Farmer: Sorry to hear about the donkey.

Paddy: No problem. I’ll just have my money back.

Farmer: I’ve spent it

Paddy: Ok. I’ll raffle him off.

Farmer: You can’t raffle a dead donkey!

Paddy: Watch me! I just won’t tell anybody...

A man baught a donkey from a preacher

The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way (being the donkey of a preacher). The only way to make the donkey go, is to say, "Hallelujah!"

The only way to make the donkey stop, is to say, "Amen!"

The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately...

A Lesson in History

The king wanted to go fishing and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.

So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way they met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and the...

What did the donkey say when his owner kept poking him?

Stop fingering your ass!

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The bish and the donkey.

A rural pastor had trouble getting hold of enough money for church roof repairs. So the parish comes up with the idea to pool their money and buy a race horse. The collection is done, and when the pastor goes shopping, he only has enough for a donkey. Nonetheless he buys the donkey and enters it int...

Did you hear about the donkey that neglected its kids to go work out every day?

Such a jacked ass

What do you call a 3 legged donkey ?

A wonkey .
What do you call a 3 legged donkey who is blind in one eye ?
A blinky wonkey .
What do you call a 3 legged donkey who is blind in one eye and loves Hank Williams ?
A honky tonky blinky wonkey donkey.

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A Priest entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Priest was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race and it won again. The next day the local paper read: "PRIESTS ASS OUT FRONT".

The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Priest not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the ...

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What happens when you put Donald Trump and a female sex crazed donkey in the same room?

Nothing. Even donkeys have standards.

I was gonna tell you a joke I came up with about a were-donkey,

but I decided it was too half-assed

Frank’s Donkey

Frank the farmer had a nagging wife. She made his life miserable. The only real peace he got was when he was out in the field ploughing.

One day while in the field, Frank’s wife brought him his lunch. Then while he quietly ate she berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining...

When is a donkey spelled with one letter?

When it's U!

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My donkey just ate the last of my French bread

It's a pain in the ass situation

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What do you get if a donkey falls off a road?

Ass-phalt

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Odin and Thor were walking through a canyon with a large group of warriors when Odin stopped Thor and signaled him to be quiet and listen.

After a moment, Odin shouted into the wilderness, “IS THAT YOU, VAL?”

Thor stood waiting and listenin, then whispered, “All-Father, I didn’t hear anything.”

Odin replied, “I thought I heard Val holla.”

Thor listened again. “What did Val say?”

Odin replied, “It was just...

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My elderly donkey got bludgeoned badly by a large horned mountain goat now I can't walk right.

In other words my old ass got rammed.

Did ya hear about Donkey Kong’s Asian cousin, Viet Kong?

He specializes in Gorilla warfare

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every hole of a donkey is an asshole

that is all

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A man accepts a job in a village with no women

Once there, he asks a local:

-There are really no women here?

-None.

-So... What do you guys do when you need to have sex?

-There is a donkey close to the river for that.

The man tries to ignore that and goes home, from where he can see the river and therefore, the...

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What did the vampire say after drinking the donkey's blood?

Tastes like ass.

Once a certain donkey driver turned to Khoja Nasreddin: “Oh, wise one, explain one thing to me, otherwise I will lose my mind.”

\- I was given ten donkeys to drive to another city, and I hit the road. Before the road, I counted them, there were 10. I sat on a donkey and we drove off. On the way, I decided to count the donkeys again, and, to my horror, there were nine of them. Then I decided to make a halt, dismounted, and ag...

A donkey and a horse met in a bar

After talking for a few minutes they decided to go to the horse's house. When they arrived the donkey noticed that the horse had a lot of trophies and medals all across the walls, he asked him:

"Where did you get all of this things?"

"I am a race horse, I won them", the horse replied.<...

A HTML developer was walking down the street when he was greeted by a donkey.

"Hello Mr Programmer", the donkey said, "how are you?".

"mighty fine, thank you donkey", the HTML dev replied.

Immediately the donkey started crying.

"What's the matter little friend?" the HTML dev asked.

"I called you a programmer, at least you could call me horse" t...

I'm a girl training in MMA. My instructor just taught me how to do the donkey kick!

He says we're going to work on the donkey punch tomorrow!

I'm trying to get my aunt and uncle to buy a donkey...

But I don't wanna be an ass

A man asked his wife: how many teeth does a donkey have?

The wife's response: I don't know honey, look in the mirror, open your mouth, and count them.

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American tour bus pulls up at a small Mexican village.

After a few hours shopping one of the tourists asks a sleepy local laying by a tree the time. The guy throws back his poncho, leans over and cups the balls of a donkey with his hand, lifting them up and down, "it's 4:35 senoir." Astounded the tourist calls to his wife, "git over here and see how the...

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Scientists have recently created a new hybrid by mating a male donkey and a female deer.

It isn't very beautiful, but that ass doe

Two brothers and their donkeys

Two brothers argue on which of the two donkeys is theirs,
so the first man says, ” I’ll cut an ear off of my donkey and the donkey with only one ear will be mine you take the other one”. So they come to an agreement. At night the donkey with one ear looks at the other donkey with two ears in jea...

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My grandma told me this joke.

An older gentlemen with some money in his pocket was heading down an old country dirt road with peddlers and wares dealers every few miles.

He runs across a man with several of the biggest roosters he's ever seen, at a price even better. He has to have one, so he says "Sir! Sir! I must have o...

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What’s it called when a donkey kicks you?

Ass-ault

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A farmer quickly purchased land in a low-lying depression and began raising donkeys there. He did so with skill and the donkeys rarely got away.

Long story short, he hauled ass to amass asses in a hole asset, whole-ass not half-ass, lassoed the asses so that they wouldn't bypass the ass hole.

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A guy and his donkey walk into a bar

the bartender says to the man: "Get your ass out of here."

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So, my friend bought a cute baby donkey

First, he taught it to walk and run. It grew up to carry anything and still run at great speed. After that, he taught it to be friendly to everyone. It grew up to be a great emotional support animal. He taught it to study and read. It grew up to advance animal consciousness research.

So, afte...

Two donkeys are standing at a roadside,

one asks the other: Shall we cross?

His friend replies: No way, look what happened to that zebra.

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Apparently I'm going to hell because I infected the Donkey next door.

They said I must not COVID my neighbor's ass.

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A farmer had a donkey that will only eat part of its food.

It was very strong and fit, but whenever they were given food, they left a significant portion.

At one point, another farmer comes by and, seeing as how the donkey is big and strong, wants to buy it.

So the first farmer parts with his donkey.

The next day, the second farmer come...

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When carriages were first invented they had the donkey constantly backing up so they could maintain eye contact with the driver and remain calm.

Soon afterwards however they realized that the idea was completely ass backwards.

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Me: I'm afraid of corpses and donkeys

My therapist: Deadass?

Me: *screams*

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Why do donkey trailers go faster when they're full?

Because they're hauling ass.

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What were the bees and the donkeys talking about?

None of your bees’n’ass.

The donkey once asked the Persian horse: "Do you play any instruments?" The horse replied:

"Ney"

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A man sitting at a bar told the bartender, “my grandmother had a great ass.”

The bartender was shocked. “Jesus, man, you gotta be fucking sick to talk about your grandmother that way.” The man got mad, “Jesus Christ, come on! I’m not talking about her rear end, she had a donkey, it lived forever, and worked hard for her.” The bartender apologized. Later on the man said, a l...

I just shot a donkey

Deadass

A man, let's call him Ted, was walking along with his wife, his donkey, and his mother-in-law...

All of a sudden the donkey runs ahead, rears up, kicks and kills his mother-in-law.
At the funeral, Ted's friend Joe noticed that every time Ted is approached by a female Ted nods his head; and every time he is approached by a male he shakes his head, as if to say "no." His curiosity was too muc...

A man went to the doctor and told him, "Every night for the past month and a half, I have dreams in which I have wrestling matches with donkeys."

The doctor gave him some pills and said, "Take these, and your dreams will go away."

"Can I start taking them tomorrow?" the man asked.

"Why?" the doctor inquired.

"Because I'm scheduled to wrestle in the championship match tonight," he replied.

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A male donkey is called an ass

A female donkey is called an asset

who is gordon ramsay's favorite shrek character?

donkey

My two British neighbours had their donkey escape from the barn, and are desperately looking for it.

They are assless chaps.

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Why don’t you ever see donkeys in school?

Because nobody likes a smart ass.

An American walks into a bar. He finds an Iranian man sitting at a table.

He asks the Iranian man, "Are you one of those Ians?".

The Iranian replied, "What do you mean, Ians?"

"Indians, Iranians - all are the same."

The Iranian paused for a while. After that he asked the American, "Are you one of those keys?".

"What do you mean, keys?"

"...

I told my friend that I shot a donkey.

“You’re lying.” he said.

I replied, “No, deadass!”

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I was bringing the animals in for the night, when a sinkhole opened up and all four of my donkeys fell into it

"What an asshole!!!" I shouted

What do you call a donkey with one leg?

A wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye?
A winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye making love?
A bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye, making love while breaking wind? <...

A man prepares his donkey and dog for a long journey up a mountain.

He places a pack straddle on the donkey’s back and fills everything to maximum weight. Because of the weight, he decides to pull the donkey along so that it does not become tired as easily. The man, donkey, and his guard dog now begin the long trip up a mountain to get to the other side.

Hour...

What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?

A wonky

I am so sorry about that one. My 6 year old cousin came running to me with that one, then proceeded to spend 30 minutes crying with laughter as if he is the best comedian.

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A nun buys a donkey and enters it in a local horse race

Remarkably, the donkey is incredibly quick and manages to win. The local paper reads *Local nun has winning ass*.

She enters it into a second race, and again it wins. The local paper reads *Nun has best ass in town*.

The priest is annoyed by these headlines, but the prize money is seri...

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Did you hear about the man who got hit by rocks while riding a donkey?

He was stoned off his ass...

A newly wed couple is riding through the field on a donkey-cart.

After a while the donkey trips up. The man calmly gets down and looks the donkey squarely in the eyes.

"This, is the first time," he says.

Terrified the donkey keeps trotting on and tries his best to not trip again, but eventually they get to wet grass and he can't help slipping. The m...

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A wealthy urbanite decides that he wants to start a farm...

... so he heads out into the countryside to ask for his cousin's help.

"The way I see it," the man says, "I should probably start small. I'll need a chicken and a rooster, and I'll also need a donkey to haul my cultivator."

The cousin scratches his chin as he listens to this. "Well, ev...

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I used to spend a lot of my time sculpting a big donkey with my face on it.

I stopped when I realized I was just making a huge ass of myself.

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Old Macdonald, feeling lonely on his farm, asks his donkey what his favorite quality in a woman is. His donkey replies.

"I'm an ass man"

Two terrorists having discussion in a bar

The waiter asks them what the discussion was about.

Terrorist: We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey.

Waiter: Why a donkey?

Then one terrorist says to the other, “See I told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand people”.

We have a donkey who doesn't behave good..

He's a badass

I run a meditation and yoga studio for angry donkeys..

It's called "peace of ass"

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What would you call a donkeys grave?

An asshole.

What do you get when you have Avogadro's number of donkeys?

Molasses.

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If you had a donkey

If you had a donkey.

And I had a rooster.

And if your donkey ate both my roosters feet, what would you have?

Two feet of cock in your ass.

My favourite joke, I have never seen it here so I thought I would share.
P.S. my first post so please be kind.

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I saw a premature newborn playing with a stuffed donkey.

ICU baby, shaking that ass.

A Rabbi gets a message from God to travel and ...

Spread his message. So the Rabbi sets out on his donkey and after many day and nights he sees a signpost that says

"TRIDIA 100 miles"

The Rabbi had never heard of this place before so he decided to go there. As he got closer to the town he heard loud thumps in the distance. As he got ...

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My donkey swallowed a sheet of glass yesterday

It was a pane in the ass to get out of him

What does a kitten, a donkey, and a the world cup have in common?

They live together. Catastrophe!

What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?

A Kick-Ass

A man loads burden onto his donkey and says...

Eukaryote.

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One of my employees called in sick today because his donkey broke it's leg and he had to wait on a vet...

I'll admit, it was a lame ass excuse.

[WARNING OC!] What does a Mexican carpet fitter say to his donkey when he's late?

"Underlay Underlay Underlay!"

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The Preacher and the Donkey

A preacher wanted to raise money for the local church and, upon hearing that there was a fortune to be found in horse racing, he decided to purchase one and enter himself. Unfortunately, the going price for a horse at the local auction house was too high so he ended up getting a donkey instead. He d...

What do you call a group of British gentlemen who have misplaced their donkey?

Assless Chaps



My coworker used to tell me this one.

Donkey joke

Bob’s having a beer in a bar, as you do. Another guy walks in and the barman shouts ‘hey here’s donkey’ and everyone laughs. Bob being a decent bloke goes up to the guy now sitting alone in the corner and asks ‘hey mate why does he call you donkey’. Guy replies ‘I don’t know .....he haw, he haw, he ...

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