UPJOKE
philosophermetaphysicsplatophysicsathenslogiczoologybertrand russellpoliticsacademybotanyaestheticspersiasoulgreeks

How is working the fry station at McDonald's like studying Plato and Aristotle?

You really learn to appreciate ancient grease.

Why did Aristotle believe men could mold themselves through their actions like clay?

His teacher was Plato.

What would you call Aristotle if he had a nice bike

Aris-throttle

(Just thought of this joke, seemed good in my head)

After watching me sign up for a Greek philosophy course, my dad said, “Did you know Aristotle said that we are what we repeatedly do?”

“Therefore, I’m your mother.”

I tried having a philosophical debate with Aristotle once, but I couldn’t follow the conversation at all.

It was all Greek to me.

Aristotle has long been regarded for his philosophical mind.

But it's too bad his theory of inertia never really gained momentum.

Aristotle said we are what we repeatedly do.

Therefore, I am your mother.

Quotes

"to do is to be" Plato
"to be is to do" Aristotle
"do be do be do" Frank Sinatra

Once again, I'm checking out this book "Greek Philosophers: From Aristotle to Zeno"

I've never finished it for some reason.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

JOE BIDEN:...

I'm smarter than Einstein, Hawking, Da Vinci and Aristotle combined...

cuz ther al ded

Haegel, Nietzsche and Aristotle walk into a bar...

Why?

Famous Philosophers

Aristotle - "what does it mean to be a good person"

Descartes - what does it mean to "be"

Nietzsche - "what does it mean"

Bertrand Russell - "what does 'it' mean"

C.S. Lewis - "what does it"

Lil Jon - "what"

Why did Aristotle name his dog “Nature”?

Because he abhors a vacuum

Plato and Aristotle were in the music room of the Academy in Athens.

Plato was at the piano, and Aristotle was holding a small lute in his hands.

“Plato, do you know the unpredictability and exactitude of ethics and reflective philosophical hermeneutics require phronesis as an ontological counterpoint to peripatetic conjecture?”

“No,” Plato replied. “Bu...

Why did Aristotle hate French fries?

They were fried in ancient grease!

A store for wisdom

Dr. Who was traveling through time and space, when he came upon a cache of the universe's best wise sayings. He loaded them into the Tardis and decided to set up a shop on a nice little corner just outside of reality to sell the sayings to the great thinkers and writers of all time. He advertised hi...

A man dies and goes to heaven

He is assigned to an orientation angel, and along with other newly-arrived souls, they go on a tour around heaven.

"Here we have the genius section, where you will find many famous scientists, philosophers and artists having discussions, holding lectures and carrying out their life's work. Ov...

A burglar broke into a house. As he was opening the safe, he heard a voice

The voice was saying "Jesus and I are watching you". The burglar turns around and sees a parrot.

"Stupid bird, it was you that scared the hell out of me"

"Yes, it was me, Aristotle"

The burglar laughs and says "That's a stupid name for a parrot"

The parrot replied "Well,...

Humanity is losing its genuises..

Aristotle died, Newton passed away,
Eisntein died.. and I'm not feeling well today.

Philosophy Convention

All the world's greatest philosophers are gathering in France for the largest philosophy convention ever. Socrates, Descartes, Kant, etc have all made their way to Paris and checked into their rooms. Aristotle's invitation was lost in the time-travel post office and he didn't get the invitation unti...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.