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Gordon Jokes

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Gordon Ramsey.

What is Gordon Ramsey's favourite animated film.?





It's fucking frozen.

Gordon Ramsey just had his 5th kid..

At least he likes one thing raw.

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Does Gordon Ramsey wear a condom?

No. He prefers FUCKING RAW!

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What's Gordon Ramsay's favourite WWE show?

It's fucking RAW!

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How does Gordon Ramsays family know he's having a stroke?

The toast is fuckin' burnt

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What is Gordon Ramsay’s favourite movie?

Its fucking FROZEN!!

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Why does Gordon Ramsay hate seeing a bunch of cute pet pictures?

Cause it's fucking r/aww!

Gordon Morgan...

was having all kinds of problems introducing himself at breakfast in Berlin.

While his friend Jim Apple was having similar problems in Paris

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What did Gordon Ramsay say when he caught a clown in bed with the Egyptian Sun God?

IT's fucking Ra

Gordon Ramsay goes to Australia and whips up a lemon meringue pie.

The whole audience cheers! “That's strange," he says. “I thought Australians usually boo meringue."

Gordon Freeman recently turned 45 and started buying loads of retro PC gaming equipment.

He was experiencing a Half Life crisis.

There was a murder in Gotham last night. Police Commissioner Gordon told Batman some elaborate conspiracy theories,

But it's more likely that the Joker did it.

That's Arkham's Razor.

Did you hear Gordon Ramsay wrote a book about herbs?

It’s about thyme!

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My wife wanted to try a new technique in bed called "the Gordon Ramsay"

It's fucking raw

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Gordon Ramsay walks into a bar...

... and asks for a glass of water with ice. Once his drink is served, he looks at the bartender and asks: "What did you use to make the ice cubes?"

Bartender: "Water."

Ramsay: "Fresh?"

Bartender: "No, frozen."

Ramsay: "Oh for fuck's sake."

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Gordon Ramsey is teaching his kids Egyptian history.

Gordon Ramsey : (Holding a picture) Who is this?

Kids : It's Anubis.

Gordon Ramsey : It's fucking Ra !!!!

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Gordon Ramsay is talking to a magic chicken

MC: Hey Ramsay do you know the best way to serve my kind?

GR: There are many wonderful ways to serve chicken, what would you say is the best?

MC: *strips*

GR: *stares in horror and outrage* This food pun is so pedestrian it just tried to cross the fucking road!

My theory in why gordon Ramsey's kids aremt his

Because he doesnt like it raw

I don’t know why Gordon Ramsay calls people a doughnut as an insult

Because honestly if someone called me a doughnut that would be the sweetest thing anyone has ever called me

Gordon Ramsey hates reposts on r/aww. One day he sees someone reposting a baby sheep

He yells in the comments, "WHERE'S THE LAMB SOURCE!?"

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Gordon Ramsay teaches a sex-ed class

“The way you make babies is FUCKING RAW!!”

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Gordon Ramsay is the best person to teach about safe sex.

Because if theres one thing he hates in life,

"It's fucking raw"

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Gordon Ramsay's wife

Mrs Ramsay is terrified of asking Gordon to go down on her. You can just imagine his reaction: "YOU EXPECT ME TO FUCKING EAT THAT?!?!?"

How did Chef Gordon Ramsay lose 100 pounds in under a month?

He started a swear jar.

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How does Gordon Ramsay discern a leopard from a jaguar?

ITS FUCKING ROAR!

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[NSFW] Gordon Ramsey: "F***ing hell, this tastes like someone shat on a piece of meat and then served it raw. What the f*** are you thinking asking me to eat this?"

"Gordon, if you don't want to give me oral sex, just say so. Don't make a production out of it." - His wife.

It’s ironic that Gordon Ramsay has so many kids….

Because he doesn’t serve raw meat

Gordon Ramsey hated the last movie he watched

It was Frozen

What would you call a hair product that was marketing batman?

Conditioner Gordon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road (Gordon Ramsay)

BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T FUCKING COOK IT

If Gordon Ramsay was a WWE wrestler, he'd go to Smackdown.

He hates RAW.

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What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?

Oh my god put them back in the damn ovens! They're so under-cooked they're writing fucking diaries!

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsay's favorite dish and a slow running computer?

One is a Rack of Lamb, the other is a Lack of RAM

So I've been watching Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmare clips, but one video wouldn't load

There was a problem with the server

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Gordon Ramsey today released his long-awaited book about having sex with herbs.

It's about fucking thyme.

So Gordon Ramsay’s having another kid...

Thought he didn’t like it raw...

What kind of car does Gordon Freeman drive?

A Lambda-ghini.

Why does Gordon Ramsey never bet on any sports events?

Because he never likes the steakes.

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Hey Gordon, how do you say “I love you” in Dinosaur?

Gordon: It’s fucking RAWR!

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Gordon Ramsay was waking down the street...

When he saw the cutest dog in his life. He bent down and yelled, it’s fucking r/Aww

Who is Gordon Ramsays least favourite Dragon Ball character?

Frieza

Gordon Ramsay goes to a restaurant.

He comes across what looks like soup.

“Let me taste the soup!”

“But...”

“No buts!”

He tasted the soup.

“IT TASTES LIKE DISHWASHER WATER!”

“It is dishwasher water, but you didn’t listen.”

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How has Gordon Ramsey come to have so many children??

FUCKING RAAAWWWW!!

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Gordon Ramsay with his son

Son: Hey Dad, let's watch a Disney movie

Gordon: Is it The Lion King?

Son: No, it's Frozen

Gordon: FUCK OFF

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Gordon Ramsay in Disney's frozen...

IT'S FUCKING FROZEN! LET IT GOO!!!!

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Gordon Ramsey: excuse me waiter, are these icecubes fresh?

Waiter: uhm no, they’re frozen
Gordon: FUCKIN HELL!

When Gordon Ramsay saw a cute puppy gif on Reddit, why did he get mad?

Because it was /r/aww

Apparently Gordon Ramsay has 5 children

So atleast we know he likes one thing raw

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Why is Gordon Ramsay so bad at revenge?

Because if he served it cold, it’d be fucking raw

I was arrested for allowing Gordon Sumner to remove my tonsils.

Turns out The Police were running a Sting operation.

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Did you know that Gordon Ramsay is against using protection during sex?

Every time he starts out by yelling, "It's fucking raw!"

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Gordon Ramsey's Water

Gordon Ramsey walks in

Chef: Would you like some Ice water chef?

Gordon Ramsey: is the Ice fresh

Chef: it's frozen

FUCKEN EL

What do Donald Trump and Gordon Ramsay have in common?

They both have a cabinet full of potatoes.

Gordon Ramsay

The only guy who tells girls to get out of the kitchen

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Gordon Ramsay's father-in-law jailed for six months for hacking chef's computer ...

Apparently, Gordon suspected the hacking when his computer was completely FUCKING FROZEN !!!

Me: HOW COULD YOU LET YOUR EVIL BABY SHEEP ESCAPE? Sous: I hid it away with Gordon Ramsey.

Me: WHERE’S THE DAMNED LAMB SOUS??!!

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What is Gordon Ramsay's catch phrase during sex?

IT'S FUCKING RAWWW

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the countryside?

One's a pant in the country..

Which of the following does not belong: a) Gordon Lightfoot b) Helen Reddy c) Donald Trump d) Celine Dion

b) Helen Reddy is not associated with a sinking ship.

Crossword clue: F**k, used by Gordon Ramsay a lot more than the average person

Fork

Gordon Ramsay screamed at me that I didn't know the first thing about seasoning

But I took it with a pinch of sugar

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