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Gordon Jokes

Gordon Ramsey just had his 5th kid..

At least he likes one thing raw.

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Gordon Ramsey.

What is Gordon Ramsey's favourite animated film.?





It's fucking frozen.

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Gordon Ramsay's wife

Mrs Ramsay is terrified of asking Gordon to go down on her. You can just imagine his reaction: "YOU EXPECT ME TO FUCKING EAT THAT?!?!?"

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Why does Gordon Ramsay hate seeing a bunch of cute pet pictures?

Cause it's fucking r/aww!

I don’t know why Gordon Ramsay calls people a doughnut as an insult

Because honestly if someone called me a doughnut that would be the sweetest thing anyone has ever called me

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What did Gordon Ramsay say when he caught a clown in bed with the Egyptian Sun God?

IT's fucking Ra

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What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?

Oh my god put them back in the damn ovens! They're so under-cooked they're writing fucking diaries!

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Gordon Ramsay walks into a bar...

... and asks for a glass of water with ice. Once his drink is served, he looks at the bartender and asks: "What did you use to make the ice cubes?"

Bartender: "Water."

Ramsay: "Fresh?"

Bartender: "No, frozen."

Ramsay: "Oh for fuck's sake."

Gordon Ramsay goes to a restaurant.

He comes across what looks like soup.

“Let me taste the soup!”

“But...”

“No buts!”

He tasted the soup.

“IT TASTES LIKE DISHWASHER WATER!”

“It is dishwasher water, but you didn’t listen.”

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Why does Gordon Ramsey have 5 kids?

Because he's always fucking raw!!!

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Why doesn't Gordon Ramsay like having sex without a condom?

IT'S FUCKING RAW!

So Gordon Ramsay’s having another kid...

Thought he didn’t like it raw...

Why didn't Gordon Ramsay upvote the picture of the lamb steak?

Because it was /r/aww

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Gordon Ramsey's Water

Gordon Ramsey walks in

Chef: Would you like some Ice water chef?

Gordon Ramsey: is the Ice fresh

Chef: it's frozen

FUCKEN EL

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I guarantee Gordon Ramsay always uses protection.

He hates fucking raw.

Gordon Ramsay goes to Australia and whips up a lemon meringue pie.

The whole audience cheers! “That's strange," he says. “I thought Australians usually boo meringue."

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Gordon Ramsey is teaching his kids Egyptian history.

Gordon Ramsey : (Holding a picture) Who is this?

Kids : It's Anubis.

Gordon Ramsey : It's fucking Ra !!!!

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How does Gordon Ramsays family know he's having a stroke?

The toast is fuckin' burnt

Apparently Gordon Ramsay has 5 children

So atleast we know he likes one thing raw

My theory in why gordon Ramsey's kids aremt his

Because he doesnt like it raw

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What did Gordon Ramsey say to the Lion with a speech impediment?

It's FUCKING ROAR!

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Whats Gordon Ramsay's favourite sub-reddit.

IT'S FUCKING R/AWW , YOU IDIOT!

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My wife wanted to try a new technique in bed called "the Gordon Ramsay"

It's fucking raw

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Gordon Ramsay teaches a sex-ed class

“The way you make babies is FUCKING RAW!!”

Did you hear Gordon Ramsay wrote a book about herbs?

It’s about thyme!

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Why did the chicken cross the road (Gordon Ramsay)

BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T FUCKING COOK IT

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Gordon Ramsay is the best person to teach about safe sex.

Because if theres one thing he hates in life,

"It's fucking raw"

How did Chef Gordon Ramsay lose 100 pounds in under a month?

He started a swear jar.

What does Gordon Ramsay say to the raw vegetable soup?

THE VEGETABLE SOUP IS SO RAW IT IS STILL STIMMING ON THE WHEELCHAIR

Gordon Freeman recently turned 45 and started buying loads of retro PC gaming equipment.

He was experiencing a Half Life crisis.

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How does Gordon Ramsay discern a leopard from a jaguar?

ITS FUCKING ROAR!

Gordon Ramsey hated the last movie he watched

It was Frozen

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Gordon Ramsay with his son

Son: Hey Dad, let's watch a Disney movie

Gordon: Is it The Lion King?

Son: No, it's Frozen

Gordon: FUCK OFF

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Gordon Ramsey today released his long-awaited book about having sex with herbs.

It's about fucking thyme.

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Gordon Ramsay in Disney's frozen...

IT'S FUCKING FROZEN! LET IT GOO!!!!

There was a murder in Gotham last night. Police Commissioner Gordon told Batman some elaborate conspiracy theories,

But it's more likely that the Joker did it.

That's Arkham's Razor.

Gordon Ramsay

The only guy who tells girls to get out of the kitchen

What kind of car does Gordon Freeman drive?

A Lambda-ghini.

It’s ironic that Gordon Ramsay has so many kids….

Because he doesn’t serve raw meat

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Gordon Ramsay was waking down the street...

When he saw the cutest dog in his life. He bent down and yelled, it’s fucking r/Aww

If Gordon Ramsay was a WWE wrestler, he'd go to Smackdown.

He hates RAW.

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsay's favorite dish and a slow running computer?

One is a Rack of Lamb, the other is a Lack of RAM

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How has Gordon Ramsey come to have so many children??

FUCKING RAAAWWWW!!

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Why is Gordon Ramsay so bad at revenge?

Because if he served it cold, it’d be fucking raw

Gordon Ramsey hates reposts on r/aww. One day he sees someone reposting a baby sheep

He yells in the comments, "WHERE'S THE LAMB SOURCE!?"

So I've been watching Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmare clips, but one video wouldn't load

There was a problem with the server

Why does Gordon Ramsey never bet on any sports events?

Because he never likes the steakes.

I was arrested for allowing Gordon Sumner to remove my tonsils.

Turns out The Police were running a Sting operation.

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Gordon Ramsey: excuse me waiter, are these icecubes fresh?

Waiter: uhm no, they’re frozen
Gordon: FUCKIN HELL!

What would you call a hair product that was marketing batman?

Conditioner Gordon.

When Gordon Ramsay saw a cute puppy gif on Reddit, why did he get mad?

Because it was /r/aww

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Did you know that Gordon Ramsay is against using protection during sex?

Every time he starts out by yelling, "It's fucking raw!"

What do Donald Trump and Gordon Ramsay have in common?

They both have a cabinet full of potatoes.

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What is Gordon Ramsay's catch phrase during sex?

IT'S FUCKING RAWWW

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Why are the dinosaurs afraid of Gordon Ramsey?

He took a bite from one of his prey and complained that it was "FUCKING RAAAAAAWWWWW!"

Google pizza

- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google pizza.
- Ah okay, wrong number
- No sir, Google bought Gordon's
- Okay. Then can I order please...
- Do you want the usual?
- The usual? You know my usual?
- According to our caller ID, the last 12 times you ordered pizza with cheese...

Why did Josh Gordon marry Mary Jane?

So he'd only get a 2 game suspension for abusing her.

How does Gordon Ramsay know that his steak is undercooked?

The Hindus are still worshipping it.

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