My son told me he wanted to be an archeologist

So I handed him the cat scoop and told him to find treasure in the cat box

A doctor and an archeologist start flirting

After a while of the doctor asks:
-“What do you do for a living”
-“Im an archeologist” she answers
The doctor responds:
-“Then I guess this isnt going to work out, you will constantly be dating other people”

Archeologists are good husbands/wives.

The older you are the more they get interested in you.

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How do you embarrass an archeologist?

Hand him a used tampon and ask which period it’s from.

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Two archeologists are taking a piss

Two archeologists are out taking a piss in a remote area when a snake hidden in the grass bites the first one on the tip of his cock.

Archeologist 1 : I got bitten on the tip of my cock by a snake with yellow and blue rings

Archeologist 2 : that sounds pretty bad and there is no hospit...

What’s the difference between an archeologist and a grave robber?

A grave robber doesn’t have a permit.

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My uncle is an archeologist..

He was doing some work in Egypt and came across an ancient tampon. Picked it up, examined it closely and said - I have no idea what period this is from.

I sacrificed everything to pursue my dream of being an archeologist...

And now my life is in ruins.

Archeologists make pretty bad lovers

I guess they have mummy issues

Ever since I became an archeologist

My career has been in ruins

Landed a job a few weeks ago as an archeologist excavating tombs in Egypt. But when I went in for work, they just had me go and recruit more archeologists.

Turns out it was a pyramid scheme

Why are there so many female archeologists?

Probably cus they love digging up the past

Archeologists in Egypt have discovered a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts.

They believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher.

Did you hear about the archeologist who accidentally destroyed his dig site?

His career is in ruins.

Russian archeologists made a big discovery

As they dug a 100 meter deep hole, they found old copper wires. They made a big, worldwide announcement that the Russians were an advanced species. Even 1000 years ago they already had a copper network.

The Americans couldn't cope with the Russians being advanced longer than the Americans, so...

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An archeologist is tasked with exploring an ancient sealed off tomb.

He cracks it open to find one long hallway. He feels dissapointed that his expedition will end without so much as a rubbing, until he finds at the end of the hallway, one large room.

Sitting square in the middle of the room is an ornately decorated coffin.

As he approaches the coffin h...

How's the archeologist doing?

His life's work is in ruins.

How do you know archeologists are lonely?

Theyre always coming up with new dating techniques.

Why might a French Archeologist be interested in how old an NBA star is?

They might be studying LeBron’s age.

I just found out that Archeologist were recently digging in the Pyramids of Egypt and found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.

Experts on site identified the mummy as Pharaoh Roche.

Noted archeologist Fred Flintstein made an amazing discovery today in Sweden

He found remains of some primitive musical instrument and a small deposit of fossilized excrement. when asked about what they signified,

Fred Flintstein replied: "A dab o' ABBA doo."

I would never date an archeologist.

I don't think I could deal with someone digging up the past all the time.

An archeologist finds three coffins. The first two have ornate drawing of a person covering each of their front sides. The third one, however, possessed only a primitive sort of stick figure. Who did the archeologist think was buried in the last coffin?

The coffin painter

I had an idea for a joke concerning an archeologist and a nudist,

But, no matter how deep I dig, the punchline seems bare

Why do archeologists make bad girlfriends?

They always dig up the past...

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Archeologists in South Africa have just discoved what they think is the oldest tampon ever found

They are trying to find out what period it came from

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Good jokes.

Q. What's the ultimate rejection?

A. When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
X------------------------X
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I...

What's the difference between an archeologist and an ex girlfriend?

The ancient stuff the archeologist digs up is useful.

Why did Oedipus become an archeologist?

He liked uncovering mummies.

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An archeologist is riding through the desert

[Another great joke from German comedian Otto Waalkes]

An archeologist is riding through the desert on his loyal horse Wallah, when he hears a voice.

*get off*

...

*get off*

He gets off his horse and looks around. He doesn't see anyone.

Then he hears it agai...

So a fellow walks into a bar and sees another fellow looking sad. “Hey, what’s bothering you, friend?” he says.

“All my life I’ve dreamed of being an acrobat,” the other fellow says. “But I had an inner ear deformity that affected my balance. So I became an archeologist instead. Then last week I unearthed a magic lamp and the genie inside granted me one wish. I knew exactly what I wanted. I wished for all the...

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Called my wife the other day from work: “BABE MY LIFE IS IN RUINS”

Her: For the last time you are an archeologist and this shit is getting old

What did the mummy say when he was discovered?

“I’ve been seeing an archeologist lately, I think she really digs me!!”

A Story behind Cave painting

Cave man[gesturing]: you wanna see some comics I made about elephants, it's quiet funny.

Cave woman [gesturing]: sure.

*Present day*

Archeologist: this wall painting is an beautiful form of art by prehistoric man maybe it's about religion and stuff.

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Joe visits his favorite museum's new exhibit.

Joe was on his way to his favorite museum. The museum had announced a new exhibit and he was extremely excited to be one of the first people to ever see it, since he got some early access tickets. When he got there, there were about 12 other people who had also gotten a ticket for today, so he assum...

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Dea-th or Ka-bo-chi?

Three archaeologists are investigating a site deep in the jungles of Africa when they get caught by the jungle's tribesmen.

They are brought to the village where the village elder asks the first one.
"Dea-th or Ka-bo-chi?"
Fearing the worst, the first archeologist chooses Ka-bo-chi.<...

TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun.

Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first.

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Cave Excavation

A team of American and British archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in their order of appearance:

1. a woman
2. a donkey
3. a shovel
4. a fish
5. a Star of David

They decided that this...

What do you call someone who buys weapons from North Korea?

An Archeologist.

Old joke from former Eastern Germany: An archeology team was having trouble determining the age of human remains that they found deep in a cave, so they called in the best forensics teams from the CIA, KGB and the Stasi....

The CIA team goes in first with all their equipment and comes out about 4 hours later.

"As far as we can determine, the remains are about 500,000 years old."

Not to be outdone by the CIA, the KGB goes in and comes out about 8 hours later.

"The remains are approximately 515,550 y...

A man walks into an old club.

"Please, do not touch the artifacts" says the archeologist.

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