First day of school

It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year.
While taking the roll, she was told by one boy, "My name is Johnny Fuchauer." (F\*ck-hour)
So she said, "There'll be none of that kind of thin...

I -a dad- just subjected my daughter, 21, to my clever wit

She wasn't sure whether or not to take a foam mattress with her to her summer camp job.

"Sleep on it," I said.

Update: It's the mattress -not the joke- that's dirty. We use it for camping a lot and it is actually quite disgusting. The joke? Clean as a whistle. Sorry for the confusion.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My psychologist subjected me to a Rorschach test

I don't recall our conversation in detail, but it went something like this:

\- How would you describe this image?
\- It looks like two people having sex.
\- I see. How would you describe this picture?
\- It looks like two people having sex.
\- Er, okay. How would you descr...

How do you feel if subjected to temperatures of absolute zero?

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