UPJOKE
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Dependent Jokes

What do libertarians and house cats have in common?

They both act like they are independent and self sufficient but in reality are utterly dependent on a system they can neither appreciate nor understand.

The growth of coronavirus in a given area is dependent on 2 primary factors:

1. How dense the population is

2. How dense the population is

My grandpa told me, "You millennials are too dependent on technology...

.. so I plugged out his life support

Bakeries are very dependent on money

They knead the dough.

I have convinced my grandma that the baby boomers are as dependent on technology as us.

When she said " you millenials are so addicted to technology" I quickly glanced at her life support. That was the last time she said it.

My Grandfather Says I should not be so Dependent upon technology...

...Yet he is the one hooked to life support.

I rely on hotels so much I’ve actually become quite

Inn-dependent

An old man said to his grandson playing on a tablet...You younger generation are too dependent on technology.

His grandson said...Which one of us needs a pacemaker to live?

I told my grand kids that I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle...

So they unplugged my computer and threw out my bourbon..

Just wrote this one about my esteemed profession. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the aforementioned task in a timely and efficient manner within the structure in which said bulb is housed and being dependent on the following variables:

Whereas it should be taken in to account that ceiling heights may differ significantly f...

Hello and welcome to the Mental Help Hotline

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you’re paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we’ll trace your call.

If...

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