This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A married couple is having some issues in their relationship and decide to see a marriage councilor. They sit down on the couch and the councilor says, "I'd like to start this session off by focusing on the positive things in your relationship. Tell me, what do you have in common?"

The husband quickly replies, "Neither one of us sucks dick."

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A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turned to the third mom. "Your obsessio...

A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper, explodes one day in mid-session and begins to shout,

“Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!” All the other senators demand that the angry member withdraw his statement or be removed for the remainder of the session. After a moment to think, the angry senator apologizes. “I’m sorry,” he says. “What I meant to say was half o...

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A quick pint after work turned into a bit of session. I was far too drunk to drive, so I did the sensible thing and took a bus home.

Fuck knows how I managed to park it!

I used to be against chiropractors until I had a session.

I now stand corrected.

I discovered my mother in law has weekly sessions with Lucifer himself on how to be even more vicious.

I’ve no idea what kind of fees she’s charging him.

Anybody out there interested in having occasional platonic hangout sessions?

Asking for a friend.

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Catch me if you can

John is pretty overweight and struggles to loose weight. He finds an add that guarantees weight loss up to 50 pounds in 3 sessions. Sceptical at first he makes an appointment.
On his first appointment he is greeted and shown to a room where the treatment will proceed. He enters the room but immed...

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It's such a shame about tomorrow's session on Prophecies

It got cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

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Two Friends were out drinking in a bar for their weekly drinking session.

Their names are Brad and Josh. They have been drinking at the same bar on the same day of the week every single week for 4 years now and the bartenders usually just close the bar and leave the doors unlocked for them to leave when they want to.

Brad lives in a bungalow just across the street ...

An Old man attended a Faith Healing session

The preacher said "Stand up and walk"
Then the old man proceeded to stand up from his wheelchair and slowly walked. The shocked crowd yelled in praise.
The preacher asked him: "How are you feeling now?"
The old man replied: "I still can't see"

I think my wife has weekly sessions with the devil on how to be more evil.

I don't know what she charges him for it though.




Edit: Considering the attention, I should attribute this to the great Emo Phillips:

"People come up to me concerned... I'll reproduce"

"People come up to me and ask, Emo, do people really come up to you?"

"I len...

3 months of thorough dedication, proper diet and workout sessions but now the time has come, it is cheat day

can't wait to sleep with my girlfriend's sister.

My therapist said I could book 10 sessions in advance for £6000

She must think I'm crazy!!

Trump fired Jeff Sessions

The only confederate Monument he is actually willing to take down.

After 12 years of regular sessions, my therapist said something that made me cry immensely.

"No habla Ingles".

​

^(Courtesy of Woody Allen (I think))

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A woman had been seeing a psychiatrist for several sessions.

At the end of one of them, she said to the shrink, "I have a question that's been bugging me for weeks."

The psychiatrist said, "What do you need to know?"

The woman replied, "You have been talking about phallic symbols. What's a phallus?"

The psychiatrist was take aback by the...

100 nuns are in a prayer session.

After the session ends, the head nun stands up and addresses the nuns.
"There was a man in the convent last night," she says.
99 nuns gasp, while one chuckles quietly to herself.
"We found a condom in the garden," the head nun continues.
Again, 99 nuns gasp, while one chuckles quietly to...

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I was in a circle jerk session last weekend..

I came in 2nd and 7th place

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Which Star Wars character would always sneak off set for a cheeky masturbating session?

Obi Wan Kernobi.

How do vegans start a prayer session?

Lettuce pray

Why does Chris Hemsworth make a point of stretching after every gym session?

Because when you train hard, you get Thor!

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Trump, Pence, Bannon, Sessions, Pompeo, Flynn, Priebus, Tillerson.

Not sure Trump knows this but traditionally, you only need 4 horsemen.

I attended a sign language session.

I was speechless.

I booked a session with a professional insulter.

It was a dis appointment.

What's the difference between Jeff Sessions and a book about Jeff Sessions?

The book has a spine.

At my therapy session today, I suddenly remembered that as a child I was molested by a clown.

I never knew I had IT in me.

On the first night of their honeymoon, the new bride tells her husband, "I have a confession to make. I'm not a virgin. I've been with one other guy." "Oh yeah? Who was the guy?" "Tiger Woods, the golfer."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can understand that."

The couple then makes passionate love.

When they finish, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

"I'm hungry. I'm calling room service."

"Tiger wouldn't do t...

Will Smith walks into a group therapy session for depression...

“So that’s it, huh? We some kinda suicide squad?”

I need advice. I was whipping someone in a gimp mask during a BDSM session, but when he took it off - it wasn't my husband.

Whoops, wrong sub.

Did any news come out of Attorney General Jeff Sessions testimony?

“I don’t recall.”

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You can burn up to 150 calories through one vigorous session of masturbation...

Still got me kicked out of my weight watchers meeting though.

"Mr. Sessions, thank you for agreeing to testify before us today. Could you please tell us, what did you discuss with the Russian ambassador?"

"Our grandchildren."

I heard a Jeff Sessions joke yesterday

But I can't recall it now.

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If you liked the film, Pulp Fiction, you may like this joke. Semi long, but the punch line....well you decide.

**Part 1, THE BUILDING SITE:**

**Two Kiwi’s are working on the 20th level of a building site in Auckland, New Zealand: Phul (Phil) & Muck (Mick).**

Phul turns to Muck & says "Cawww I've gotta take a piss, but there’s nowhere to go, eh"

"Walk out to the end of that plank...

"How'd the session go with your new therapist?"

"It was a waste of time. He just kept showing me pictures of my parents fighting."

An older woman's husband dies during a bdsm session.

She decides to do something crazy with her life, and buys a Harley, gets a few tattoos, and goes out in search of the Hell's Angels.

When she finds them they give her an initiation test.
"You ever killed a man?" They ask.
"Yep" she says. "Killed my husband."
"You ever steal ...

During a military training session, a General with a stern tone addresses a group of young cadets

"If you are captured by the enemy and a beautiful woman walks in to the room, the best thing to do is to keep your mouth shut."

Someone from the back of the room asks, "What's the second best thing to do?"

An American woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers, "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"

The husband laughs and says, "An English girl."

The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picks her up in the airpor...

Jeff Sessions was asked why the telemarketing company fired him

He did not recall

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What kind of pokemon is a vagina that's just had an extended session of hard sex?

Vulvasore :D

A child who is critically ill is taken under the Make-A-Wish foundation

Her first wish is to meet Captain America and Thor so Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth arrive at the hospital.

After a long meeting session, the two of them ask her what her next wish is.

"I want to meet Iron Man now"

A Boy and his Father were out on a walk...

On their walk the two encountered a pair of doggies in an act of doggie passion in the middle of one of the neighbors lawns.
"Ewww...WHAT are they doing, Daddy?!?"
"Well son, um, I guess you could say that they are making puppies."
The father grabbed the boy's hand, and they continued...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Do you know how pornstars determine their next leader? NSFW

A succession suck session.

The pastor is speaking during a normal church session.

One person is sleeping amidst the church crowd. The pastor says "Whoever would like a place in heaven, please stand." Everyone except the sleeping person stands. "Whoever would like a place in hell, please stand." The sleeping guy wakes up, only hearing the 'please stand'. He then stands up and says...

How did the T-Rex feel after his workout session?

He felt dinosore.

At a marriage counselling session for men...

... the counseller asked the men to divide themselves into those that always listen to their wives as a group, and those that are able to stand up for themselves as another group.

Expecting a sweeping outcome, the counseller was surprised to see John sitting alone in the group for men able to...

A space mission sent from Earth had landed on a distant planet.

The purpose of the mission was to meet with another intelligent species who called themselves "ishen".

Another such mission had taken place a year before, and Michael Chapman, the leader of the mission, had decided to stay on the planet with the ishen to learn their ways.

The ishen pri...

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One guy sees a beautiful Nun on a bus

He says to her "Hey little girl, wanna have sex"

The Nun turned around her face fuming. "Who do you think you are! I am God's servant!"

Once the bus stopped the nun ran out of the bus, still fuming.

The bus driver heard all of this and called the guy over to him. "Hey that nun g...

An American soldier was captured by the Germans during WWII...

An American soldier was captured by the Germans during WWII. He was placed into a detention cell and soon a neatly uniformed SS officer comes to interrogate him.

“Vhere is your unit based?” asks the officer in accented English. But the soldier looks him dead in the eyes and says only “Tick t...

Mr Sessions... Do you swear to give the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

"Da"

A man visits a counselor

The counselor says "You should look to improve your life, but it'll take a lot of work on your part."

Months pass, and the man comes back.

"What brings you in today?" asks the counselor.

"Two things. First, thanks for the advice it totally worked!"

"What... that was fast,...

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My cousin has a speech impediment...

Even though he is in his mid twenties and has had speech therapy he still gets his R’s and W’s mixed up some what frequently.

Yesterday we were at my best friend’s house so I could introduce them, since they both have been great people in my life. About an hour into our hang out session my ...

In order to promote progress I think the next session of congress should be sent to the moon.

I just feel that they would make a greater impact.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An old man is trying to figure out how to choose which one of his three sons should inherit his farm

So one morning he decides to give them each a duck and tells them whoever sells it for the most money gets the farm, and all 3 of them set out to sell their ducks.

The oldest son comes back an hour later and says "i got 10 dollars for my duck dad" to which the father replies "not bad."
...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Make-Out Session Gone Wrong

Steve and his girlfriend, Sheila, were making out real hot and heavy when Steve's left hand wandered south. He began fingering his girl's vagina when she whispered in his ear,
"Could you take your ring off?" She continued, "It's really uncomfortable."
Steve whispered back to her, saying "Sorry...

So these 2 guys are pretty studious.

They both study pretty hard. Finals are the next day, so they make plans to have a study session. Their teacher is very strict, and says anyone late to class will fail. However, they hear of a party going on. They know they should study, but they can’t reisist a good party.

Predictably,...

My friend told me that he was sent to a therapy group for procrastinators.

They haven't conducted the first session yet.

Mystery movie idea

Acclaimed actor goes missing. Police zero in on the suspects being his director, wife and brother. Plot twist: Actor is now living a different life disguised as a quizmaster at a European game show. No one expects thespian is in quiz session.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What did the leper say to the prostitute after their session?

"Keep the tip."

Jim asks his formerly obese friend Phil how he has lost weight so fast

Phil replies, "I tell you my secret. There's this clinic I went to. They have a special program that makes you lose weight incredibly fast. Here's the address."

​

So next weekend Jim has his first appointment at the clinic. He is welcomed by the doctor who sends him upstairs...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

During our church service one Sunday...

a parishioner was speaking about an emotionally charged topic and had trouble controlling her tears. Finishing her remarks, she told the congregation, "I apologize for crying so much. I’m usually not such a big boob."

The bishop rose to close the session and remarked, "That’s okay. We like bi...

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About an inch

The UN is in session and the three major superpowers, the US, Russia, and China are trying to out do each other's achievements.

The US says "we have a missile that could reach any point on Earth with amazing precision and destroy it."

Everyone else starts chattering in disbelief and t...

Boudreaux was called up to the Louisiana National Guard. Because he was a smooth talker the CO put him in charge of explaining benefits to new recruits.

After a week the CO noticed Boudreaux had a 100% sign up rate for supplemental insurance. Impressed, the CO sits in on one of Boudreaux’s sessions.

“If you boys goes to Afghanistan and you gets yoself kilt, the gubmint pays you benefishary $50,000. But if you gets the supplemental insurance, ...

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Every day after dessert, Marvin and Ethel meet in their spot at the back of the nursing home and they start to kiss.

Progressively, their kissing gets more and more intense. And since Marvin is a very desirable man among the other elderly ladies, Ethel has to make their sessions interesting so he doesn’t leave her. So, every day Ethel will slide her hand down Marvin’s torso and grab his penis and she will leave he...

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don’t know, but times up, we can discuss it at your next session.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A married couple of 20 years were as normal as could be, bar one little quirk the husband had in the bedroom.

He'd only have sex with the lights off.

The wife assumed he merely had some shame in the penile department, but she loved him, so happily obliged. An added bonus was that it felt like he was actually reasonably well-equipped downstairs, so everything was good.

However, 20 years of blin...

A personal trainer gets a new client...

Their first day went smoothly, and the client seemed to be totally into everything the trainer was teaching him.

Over the next few weeks, the trainer became more and more impressed with this client, as he was the most dedicated client he had ever had, and was making tremendous progress. ...

A hydrogen elemental and two water elementals walk into a bar...

The bartender says, "'Water' you doing here?"

This came up in a recent RPG session. It's terrible, but I loved it too much not to post.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex, so naturally, she agrees and they make love...

About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?"

Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.

Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has o...

There's this guy that gets suicidal everytime one of his pets dies.

So he goes to a therapist to see if he can conquer the emotional response. After several sessions his therapist tells him to get a porpoise. They're normal lifespan will allow for him to pass on before the porpoise would.

He also tells the guy that he must feed this porpoise baby seagulls to ...

What do raspberries do when they play instruments

They have jam sessions.

Trump and Macron are discussing leadership and decision making...

Donald Trump asks Emmanuel Macron how he's able to make such great decisions all the time.

Macron says "I make sure to communicate with intelligent people and ask their advice."

Trump: "Well how do you know they're smart?"

Macron: "I ask them riddles. Observe."

He calls ...

A man walks into a brothel and asks: "Do you have something unusual?"

A man walks into a brothel and asks:

- Do you have something new, something unusual?
- We do, in fact! There's a girl that can suck and sing at the same time, but only with lights out!

The man agrees and pays for the girl. Enjoys the service immensely.

Before visiting again, ...

A Journalist Visits a Boxing Gym...

A reporter for a well known New York newspaper was visiting a boxing gym, to investigate the importance of boxing to New York's culture. This gym had a reputation for producing some of the toughest boxers in today's game, but no one knew how. To get the most authentic story possible, he signed himse...

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[NSFW] Thomas Edison is busy inventing in his basement, when his wife, Mary, goes to a friend's house to ask for her advice.

"Thomas just won't go down on me", Mary tells her friend.

"I'll let you in on a little secret", the friend replies, "If you want oral sex with Thomas, try coating your privates with something sweet tasting, it works for me!"

When Mary arrives home she checks in the cupboards and finds...

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A theologician went to an isolated tribe...

The isolated Tiktik tribe living in the middle of the Borneo jungle had recently come into contact with the outside world. A theologician from a Christian university was sent to the Tiktiks to spread the word of the Bible. The Tiktik chief had quickly learned the English language after first contact...

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At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other...

The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands.

After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot, the female doctor interrupts and says she has to go and...

There was this astronomer.

He browsed r/jokes everyday and after a while he realised that the same jokes were posted over and over again.

He decided to start posting one joke a day, after his morning astronomy sessions.

His jokes were always well received and every so often one of his jokes would reach the fro...

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Foreign Legion recruit asks about sex

Jean Pauls life is going nowhere so he decides to look for adventure and decides to join the Foreign Legion. After six weeks exhaustive training he is feeling sexually frustrated so asks the Corporal what options the troops have for sex.

The corporal listens to him and tells him if he wants ...

A mall owner was speaking to the manager about the Santa Claus hiring for the Christmas holidays.

Owner: So how have the interviews been going? Any good candidates?

Manager: Well there was this one guy today. He was a fat guy, with rosy red cheeks and sporting a large sac. He had the furry cuffs, and a leather belt.

Owner: He sounds like the real deal!

Manager: Actually he h...

How many chiropractors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, but needs 5 sessions.

I'm seeing a therapist to help with my kleptomania.

I've been taking something of value away from every session.

A man's friend is having a party at her house.

The man is invited. he asks what kinds of food and drinks there will be. His friend tells him there will be hot dogs, salad, burgers, club sandwiches, and pizza, and for drinks there will be beer, wine, lemonade, and fruit punch. The man is excited about these options, and is in a great party mood. ...

The kingdom of the ogre.

Once upon a time, an evil ogre ruled over the land of the Trids. Most of the time he left his subjects alone, and even managed the kingdom quite well, and times were prosperous. But once a week, he would come down from his hilltop castle and spend an hour *kicking* every Trid he saw. Doesn’t matt...

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Wandering through the jungle, a lizard comes across a monkey getting baked

**Lizard** \- Hey Monkey, what's all that smoke up there ? You alright ?

**Monkey** \- Maaaan come up there and taste this shit with me. You gonna have the best time of your life !

*The lizard seems hesitant but climbs up anyway and joins the monkey on the tree and in his smoking sessi...

A man goes to a brothel.

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.




"May I help you sir?" she asked.




The man replied,


"I wan to see Valerie."




"...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.

There is an obvious attraction between them and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place and, as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears fill a shelf the length of the wall; medium-sized ones adorn...

A man and his wife are driving around

When suddenly another car crasher right on the passenger's seat.
The man then rushes his wife to the hospital where she is taken to the operating room for surgery.

8 hours pass and the man has been waiting outside worried for his wife, when the door opens and the doctor comes out exausted...

How do you call a bunch of strawberries playing the guitar?

A jam session.

Karl Marx dies and stands trial before St. Peter.

St. Peter: "The ideas you preach have brought misery to billions. I send you to the deepest pits of Hell!"

After a few months Satan calls God:

Satan: "God, please remove Marx from my realm as soon as possible."

God: "Why would I do that? He is a sinner, his fate is to burn in H...

A man goes to see his priest about his hearing...

Say no more, says the priest ! The priest calls on the congregation for an all night extensive prayer session. They pray and sing and ask God to heal the man's hearing. Quite tired from the all night Affair, the priest visits the man the next day. Did our prayers help your hearing he asked? Oh no...

An ad campaign for pitted peaches (long)

So there’s a farmer and he wants to market his peaches. They are canned peaches and part of the appeal is you don’t have to pit them. They are pitted by other people before they get out in the cans! Easy! So he has this idea to hire a model to photograph in the process of pitting to communicate this...

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater

Cinderella wanted to go to the ball one night, but she didnt have any tampons to use and she was on the rag.

Her Fairy Godmother came to the rescue and turned a pumpkin next to Cinderella’s house into a tampon. The Godmother says, "Now use the tampon, but be sure to get back home before midni...

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Little Timmy hears noises from his parents bedroom and goes to see what is up.

He sees his mom ball gagged and hog tied, and dad whipping her ass. He is taken aback. His dad says 'Sonny it's okay, just relax'. After the sex session is over mom says to her husband 'Honey why don't you just check up on Lil Timmy'. He goes to Timmy's room but he's not here. From the adjacent room...

A couple with a rough patch go to councelling

A married couple hit a rough patch, so they book to see a relationship counsellor. The counsellor tries a few therapy techniques, but nothing works, it's like talking to two brick walls. Finally, he picks up a bass guitar and starts to play, simple at first, then gradually more and more intricate. T...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Joe, Dave, Tommy, and Rodney start a folk rock band. Joe plays cymbals, Dave is on the 6-string, Tommy has the drums, and Rodney adds his unique twang to the vocals.

Their very first rehearsal, they come up with a great idea for an original composition. It takes heavy liberties with the cymbal part. Joe is ecstatic; cymbal players rarely ever get the recognition they deserve. This could be a revolution in the music industry!

They begin tuning and setting ...

I held a meditation class at a retirement home once...

At the end of the session, which consisted mostly of breathing exercises, I procured a small gong and a mallet. I told all of them to close their eyes and focus on the sound of the gong, and to raise their hand when they could no longer hear it.

Everyone closed their eyes, and I struck the go...

A boxer loses his sight in a freak accident.

Not being able to compete again, all he can do now is training with his loyal training partner and hitting the bag. Since he can’t see, he is required to remember and move only a certain amount of steps (both forward and backwards) to keep the distance. Suddenly his partner stops the session and the...

Breaking News: Al-Gebra Operative Arrested

A man was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport , New York, as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Jeff Sessions said he believes the man is a member o...

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Sex without light

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the midd...

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A mother is upset at the priest

A boy's mother goes to the priest who's been conducting gay conversion therapy sessions on her son. She says, "I don't know what you're doing, but my son isn't getting better, he's getting worse! He's more perverted than when he started!". The priest says, "Well that's odd. We're halfway through his...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There was once an artist in San Francisco...

Every Saturday he would visit Pier 39 and silently sculpt statues of sea animals. But at the end of each session instead of selling these statues he would splash colorful paints on them and then brutally attack the pieces with various tools and only THEN open the items up for bid.

On one Satu...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy confesses to his psychiatrist that he's having trouble at work...

"What sort of trouble?" asks the shrink.

"I work in the production line at a pickle factory, and I know this is going to sound crazy, but lately I've been fantasizing about putting my penis into the pickle-slicer."

"My God, man!" the shrink exclaims. "You can't do that!"

"I know...

a nice Italian couple . . .

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husbands'
marriage seminars.

At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was
approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and
share some insight into how he had managed to stay married...

Drinking and driving

As you well know, some of us have been lucky not to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the various social sessions over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and then topped it off with a margarita....

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Tommy goes to the doctor complaining about increased appetite and insatiable hunger.

The doctor asks for the symptoms and diagnoses that he has tapeworms. The doctor prescribes medication and asks to meet him in a week. Tommy comes back and says that it was ineffective and that he still feels hungry all the time.

The doctor prescribes new stronger medicine but even then T...

I named my dog Ted

Each of our training sessions are called Ted talks

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

As a child I was told there's a monster under my bed.

As an adult I went to see a therapist.

"Doc I got issues, man I know it's ridiculous but I think there's a monster under my bed"

"Well young man, you have come to right place give me three months and you'll be right as new"

"What will it cost me doc?"

"Well we will have t...

Very slightly based on a true story

When I was in college, our RA was in a frat, Alpha Chi Rho (usually Chi Rho for short.) They had this setup with some various clubs, athletes usually of some sort, because a lot of them majored in physical therapy and/or massage therapy, where they'd have the guys in the frat give therapy sessions.<...

Thai Massage

A guy during his vacation to Thailand, ordered a massage session in his room, one for his wife and one for him.

After massaging the man for a long time, the Thai girl said, "Massage Pinis... Sir!"

He kept quiet ...

The Thai masseuse again said, "Massage Pinis... Sir!"

The...

Three Jewish Mothers

Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a park bench in Miami Beach talking about (what else?) how much their sons love them.

Sadie says "You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son, Arnold, bought that for me for my 75th birthday. What a good boy he is and how much he loves h...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I banged this hot French student last week.

We were going at it doggie style and she told me she really loves the feeling when someone pulls on her hair. So I took a handful and pulled. She moaned and writhed around like her best orgasm ever!
Apparently I overdid it though, when I asked her if she wanted another session she said her armp...