At the parole hearing, the officer asked, "Tell me, why should you be released early?" The inmate responded, "It’s bec..."

Officer: Yes?

Inmate: I think I have..

Officer: Go on.

Inmate: Can I Please finish my sentence?

Officer: Sure. Parole denied.

A man with hearing problems crashed his car into an expensive car,

The owner of the expensive car walks out of his house and says “give me 10.000 dollars or I’ll beat the hell out of you!!” The man replies “Woah woah buddy I don’t have that much, but let me call my son he trains dolphins”. The man calls his son and right as he was about to talk the owner of the exp...

“What do we want!?” “Hearing aids!”

“When do we want them!?”
“Hearing aids!”

Why did Rudy Giuliani fart at the hearing

Since he didn't have clear evidence for fraudulence, he decided to provide a clear evidence of flatulence

When I told my parents that I'd lost all of my senses except hearing and taste, they kicked me out

They won't support me now that they know I'm bisensual

Everywhere I go I keep hearing about all of this “stop the count!” Stuff...

What has Dracula done now?

"I think I might be coming down with COVID because I'm losing my sense of hearing."

"No, with COVID you lose your sense of smell"

"What?"

I’m tired of hearing men talk about how women make their lives more difficult. Just think about where men would be without women...

Still in the Garden of Eden.

An elderly man thinks his wife is losing her hearing so he calls their doctor.

The doctor tells him "We need to figure out how bad her hearing is. Using a normal tone, talk to her at various distances until she can hear you."

That night the man decides to try this. He estimates he is sitting about 30 feet from his wife and asks her, "What's for dinner?"

He hears ...

I told my psychiatrist I was hearing voices.

He told me I don't have a psychiatrist.

What kind of music do hearing-impaired people listen to?

Deaf Metal

I love hearing jokes about anti-vax kids

They never get old.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Never have sex on the phone

You could get hearing AIDS

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.