Hearing Jokes

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A husband notices that his wife’s hearing is deteriorating, and decides to visit her doctor for advice.

“I can’t speak to my wife directly as she might find it offensive, given our old age” he says to the doc.



“There’s a simple trick you can try to determine her hearing” explains the doctor. “Simply ask her a question at a distance and if she doesn’t hear you, move slightly closer and a...

My grandma got a new hearing aid.

“It was $5,” she said.

“What kind is it?” I asked.

“Ten-o-clock.”

An elderly gentleman with severe hearing problems goes to the doctor and gets fitted with hearing aids.

After a month, he goes back for a checkup.  The doctor asks him how things are going now
that he can hear everything, and wonders if his friends and family have said anything.

The gentleman replied, "I haven't told anyone yet.  I just sit around and listen to their conversations. I'...

During prayer request I asked the preacher to pray for my hearing.

He decided to bring me up in front of the church anoint me with oil and have the elders lay hands and pray over me.

When they finished the Precher asked how’s my hearing?

I said idk it isn’t til next week.

I love hearing accountants tell jokes.

Especially when they’re self depreciating.

(OC by me)

Hearing problems

Two retired elderly men were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ed noticed something funny about Joe's ear.

He said "Joe did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"

"I have? A suppository?"

He pulled it out and stared at it. Then he said: "Ed, I'm glad y...

I’ve been trying for years to divorce my hearing-impaired wife but she is so mad

She refuses to sign anything

My dad was bragging about his new hearing aid……..

My dad was bragging about his new hearing aid ..

“State of the art” he said

“ it cost me an absolute fortune “”

“That’s brilliant dad , what type is it “???

“It’s 2:30 “he replied

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I struggle to believe what I'm hearing about New Zealand farmers being good in bed.

I mean, 9 out of 10 sheep can't tell the difference.

And elderly man suspected his wife was losing her hearing.

To test this, he snuck up about 20 feet behind her and said in a normal voice “can you hear me, honey?” No response. He walked to 15 feet away: “can you hear me now?” Still no answer. He moved to ten feet away and asked, and then to five feet away, still with no answer. Finally he came up right behi...

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A man wakes up one morning and hears on the radio that a gorilla has escaped from the zoo.

Deciding that this news does impact his life in any way, the man goes outside to retrieve the mail. Just as he reaches his mailbox, he hears very loud grunting above him and looks up at his massive tree next to the mailbox. Up high in the tree is none other than the escaped gorilla, hooting and holl...

Hearing that Jesus loves you is nice...

Unless you're in a Mexican prison.

When a Cougar gets so old she needs a hearing aid, she becomes a

Def Leppard

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Hearing Problems

Grandpa goes to the doctor complaining of hearing problems. The doctor looks in his ear, grabs his forceps and pulls out a suppository. A light goes on in Grandpa's mind. He picks up his cell phone and calls his wife. "Ethel? I think I know what happened to my hearing aid."

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