I was at a seance and the spiritualist kept giggling, so I punched him.

My mother always told me to strike a happy medium.

Zoom meetings are basically seances with the living...

Brian, are you there? Make a sound if you can hear us. Is anyone with you? Can you hear us?

Why did the chicken got to the seance ?

To get to the other side

A seance conductor came to our house.

"I'm hearing something," he said. "Someone is giving me a signal."

"Who is it?" I asked.

"Your mother," the seance conductor said, looking at my girlfriend.

"It can't be!" said my girlfriend.

"No, quite right," laughed the seance conductor, "but you should've seen the exc...

I used to do seances behind the bar

The management put a stop to it, they said the spirits were disappearing.

How did the French-German psychic perform a seance?

On a Yes-Yes board.

What do you use when you want to clean windows during a seance?

a squeegee board.


I don't know when it comes to ghosts and the afterlife, I like to think I'm open minded, maybe there something in it, maybe there isn't.

Actually I recently attended a seance. The psychic who ran it told us she was delighted with the way her business was going. Absolutely booked up solid. ...

Why can't you have a mechanical wave seance in space?

Cause you'd need a medium

Just got a Jury Summons

That’s the last time I do a seance in a court house.

I saw my roommate carrying a crystal ball and candles

"What do you need a crystal ball and candles for?" I asked.

"I'm going to conduct a ritual to speak with the dead."

"Oh. Makes seance."

Justin Bieber has said, "I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation, but people just don't understand me."

By a curious co-incidence, Kurt Cobain, contacted in a seance, said, "I felt like the Justin Bieber of my generation, so I killed myself."

There was once a friendly mute ghost, ironically named sound.

Sound was a very social ghost so he showed up to several seances, but every time he couldn’t talk to the people who had summoned him because he was mute, but he tried desperately to communicate anyways. He would slam doors and knock over lamps and turn on and off random appliances. After all of that...

What should you do before you do an exorcism of your house

Do a little reconnai-seance

My friend really believes he's talking to ghosts when using a Ouija board

But I just think it's a pseudo seance

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