### I called my home insurance company today. I asked them to insure my antique rubber band collection.

They said “that’ll be a stretch”

### A guy walks into a restaurant and orders a rubber band sandwich ...

He says “And make it snappy”

### I lost my rubber band ball earlier...

I still haven't bounced back :(

### Yesterday I saw the most famous rubber band in the world

It was the center of a-tension

### Excuse me, did anyone lose a large roll of 20 dollar bills in a rubber band?

Because I found the 20 dollar bills...

### I have a pun about rubber bands...

But it's a bit of a stretch.

### How do you escape from a windowless bunker with a sealed vault door using only a rubber band and a puddle of water?

1).Look into the puddle and see what you saw.

2). Pick up the saw and cut the rubber band in half

3).Pick up the 2 halves of the rubber band.

4). 1 half plus 1 half equals 1 whole.

5). Use the whole on the door and escape.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### A rubber band pistol was confiscated during algebra class.

It was a weapon of math disruption.

### A band should name themselves "rubber"

So they'll be known as the rubber band.

### Two farmers each own a horse which they keep in the same field.

Each horse has a different coloured rubber band on its tail. Whenever the farmers visit, they feel carefully down the tail of each horse to find the rubber band, check the colour, and then take their horse for a ride.

This system works for many years until they arrive at the field one morning...

A Rubber Band.

### There were two farmers who each had a horse in the same field

In order to tell them apart they had a little rubber band tied round one of the horse's tails. every day they would come to the field and feel up and down the horses' tails until they found the rubber band.

One day they lost the rubber band and didn't know what to do. Then one farmer said to ...

### A boy was snapping rubber bands on his friends arm

He kept doing it in the same spot every second, over and over again until the friend eventually said, "Ouch, that one Hertz."

### What band is most appropriate in an office setting?

A rubber band.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### NSFW A young bride-to-be confides in her mother on her wedding night that she isn’t a virgin and is worried her husband will not love her once he finds out.

“Oh honey, just do what I did with your father. Put a rubber band around your thigh and when he enters you the first time just snap the rubber band. He won’t know any different.”

Come the wedding night and heeding her moms advice the bride snaps the band as the deed is done. Her husband yel...

### So I thought I'd start my own rock band

I wanted to call it The Rubber Band.

But I thought that was a bit of a stretch.

### A elastic band is thrown into a torture chamber,

A man comes up to him grabs him and stretches the elastic band out until he is just about to break,

The man stares the rubber band in the eyes,
“You have so much potential”

(Made this one myself, thank you.)

### A homeless man...

A homeless man was walking down the street. His shoes were so worn out that the soles would flop around when he walked. One day, he was walking down the street when a man in a brand new Maserati and an expensive Italian suit pulled over by him. The man asked for the homeless man to come to him. He p...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### A woman was getting married to a virgin

A woman was getting married to a virgin, but she wasn’t one herself. She went to her friend and explained the situation, saying that her soon-to-be husband thinks that she is a virgin. Her friend offered up some advice. “Slip a small rubber band as far up your thigh as possible, right as you start,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### A small white guy is using the urinal when a large black man walks in to the bathroom..

The black guy starts using the urinal and the white guy takes a peak over and with astonishment asks the black guy "How did you get a pecker that big?!". The black guy rolls his eyes and half jokingly says "Well what you have to do is wrap a bunch of rubber bands around it and attach weights on the ...

### What do you call musical groups that are exclusively made of masseuses?

Rubber bands

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### Before they can be ordained, three young men have to undergo an ordeal which will test the chastity of their thoughts.

Ordered by a priest to strip, the trio have rubber bands fastened to their private parts and are ushered into a bedroom where a beautiful girl lies naked on the bed.

After a few moments there is aloud *Boing!* The first seminarian is told to go to the showers to cool his ardour.

A mome...