How many dance teachers does it take to change a light bulb?

5678

A sniper rifle and an assault rifle meet eachother at a dance party

They get along quite nicely and go out for a drink. The assault rifle falls in love with the sniper rifle, and decides to ask if the sniper rifle wants to be her boyfriend. However, the sniper rifle declines. Distraught, the assault rifle asks why he said no, to which the sniper rifle replies:
...

I hate it when they say, "white people can't dance"...

Like Hello? We had the king of pop himself micheal Jackson.

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

“Ringling Brothers is coming to town this week,” she said. “The poster says they have a dancing bear. I always wanted to see one of those.”

“Maybe next year,” says the man. “Work’s really busy this week.”

The next night at dinner, the man can barely sit down before his wife starts talk...

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What has 153 legs and stinks of piss?

A line dance at an old folks home.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Because he had no body to go with

Generally speaking, there are three different styles of cancan dances, 'French Cancan', 'British Cancan', and 'American Cancan'. In my opinion, French Cancan dances are able to outperform American Cancan dances and American Cancan dances can also outperform British Cancan dances.

In other words, Cancan Cancan can can can can Cancan.

What is a taco's favorite dance?

The salsa!

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it..

Where do anti Vaxxer strippers dance

Around a polio

I got so drunk last night

I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance contest...

Do you want to learn how to dance in a few seconds for free?

Step 1: Remove your shoes

Step 2: Go on the street

Note : Higher chances of success if you live in Europe

I went to a middle school dance back in the day.

It was kinda lame, looking back on it. The music was bad, they ran out of food, and there wasn’t even a punch line.

A dentist shoots a kid doing a fortnite dance.

"You're bleeding because you were flossing"

What is the brother of Thor's favorite dance?

The lokimotion.

What kind of music does a fallen tree branch dance to?

Log-rhythm

Its the homecoming dance, and so far the gym is split between boys and girls.

Several minutes pass until the boys start talking to the girls and asking them to dance. One after another the girls get asked to. All but one remains. Nobody has asked her out due to her fake wooden eye that she has.

Then suddenly, one boy realizes her sitting alone and wishes she was havin...

Why aren't more men into learning how to pole dance?

We prefer ballroom

Why did the girl invite the mushroom to the school dance?

Because he was a Fun-gi

How do you make a tissue dance?

You threaten to kill its entire family.

The wife’s mother said: ‘When you’re dead, I’ll dance on your grave.’

Me: ‘Good, I’m being buried at sea.’

Went to a dance last night...

They played The Twist. I did The Twist.

They played The Macarena. I did the Macarena.

They played Come On Eileen. I got thrown out.

A hippopotamus walks into a bar. He buys a drink for the rabbit on the bar stool. She bats her eyes at him. He asks for a dance..

The rabbit says "tango?"

He says "nope.... Lets do Hip Hop!"

What do you call a sequence of dance moves made by Al Gore?

An algorithm.

No matter how much you dance and prance...

The last two drops go down your pants.

What do the worlds greatest dance halls and best underwear have in common

Lots of ball room

What's the difference between a night club and a strip club?

A night club has a beat that you can dance to.

I made up a dance about an old guy and a kid going on an adventure and asked everyone to name the movie it’s based on.

Someone just guessed it. The jig is Up.

My family loves to have dance parties.

My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect.

Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing!

It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especi...

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What kind of moves does 242 year old ink bust out on the dance floor?

Indapendance

Fucking crucify me

I don't like Fornite and would love to dance on their grave

But I'm afraid they might steal it.

I had a gold fish who could break dance on a carpet.

... for 20 seconds.

... And only once.

What do you call a Russian Starbucks employee, who loves to dance?

Baristnikov

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A woman went to a dance and hit it off with a guy there.

They both liked what they saw and decided to go back to his place. One thing led to another, and soon they gravitated to the bedroom and proceeded to undress.

The first thing he removed was his socks and shoes. She noted his feet were withered and crooked. When asked, he responded that when h...

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Went to a club with the wife and there was a guy on the dance floor going mental - twerking, breakdancing, spinning, moonwalking, back flips, the whole lot . My wife turned to me and said, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”

I said, "By the looks of it, he’s still fucking celebrating!”

Some people claim Al Gore dances too robotically

He says its just his Al Gore rhythm

A boy has a crush on a girl at his school. He sees that a dance is coming up soon so he decides to ask her to the dance.

Shes says yes, so he decides he should get some flowers for her. He goes to the flower shop and there is a huge line. He waits and waits for almost and hour, he eventually gets to the front and buys some roses for her. He then decides it would be a good idea to get a limo. He goes to the limo rental...

School dances this year are going to be like Fortnite lobbies...

Lots of stupid dance moves and unnecessary shooting

Coca Cola employees can't dance...

But they can Tango.

What do you call a lap dance from a girl with 3 or less limbs?

Amputease

What dance move catches everyone by surprise?

The Plot Twist!

Dance like no one's watching!

Just be careful of the creepy guy in the corner with the video camera who hasn't moved all night who wants the make you famous on YouTube.

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At a local college dance,

a guy from America asks a girl from Sweden to dance.

While they are dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, “In America, we call this a hug.”

She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden we call it a hug too.”

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, “In America, w...

The homecoming dance

A somewhat socially awkward lad asked a girl he liked to the homecoming dance, and she said yes.

The boy asked his dad for advice, and his dad gave him several tips: get her a nice corsage that matches your boutonniere, show up 10 minutes early to pick her up and speak pleasantly and respect...

Why don't women like to dance with German men?

Cause they're all Hans

(this is my first attempt at writing a joke, go easy)

What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?

A hootenanny.

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I have the perfect response when a woman at a club turns me down when I ask her to dance.

"That's OK. I gotta take a shit, anyway. "

What is Link's favorite dance at the club?

Macarena of Time

In order to join our club, you must perform the dance

It's called 2 step verification

I can teach you how to break dance so fast

It'll make your headspin

What do you call it when a white man on a dance floor has a seizure?

An improvement

Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon.

They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.

What do you call it when a naked guy dances to Christmas music?

Jingle Balls.

Why don't Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?

April showers bring Mayflowers.

What's green and sings and dances fantastic?

Fred Asparagus. (I'm sorry, Holiday Inn was on TCM tonight.)

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The old guy at an old-timer's dance

There's this really old guy at an old-timer's dance, and the problem is that he hasn't scored any sex for a long time. He'd been dancing with all the grandmas all night, but still hadn't got any action.

Frustrated, he approached an old grandma and said "I'm having no luck scoring a woman. H...

They should make a TV show about people who dance on logs,

They can call it Log-a-Rhythm.

High school dance.

My friend James only has one eye and was embarrassed to ask anyone to his first high school dance. Since I’m taking wood shop, I agreed to make him a wooden eye. My girlfriend is an artist and she made this eye look perfect. I found him a date for the dance and he said, “what does she look like?” I ...

I tried teaching my dog how to dance, but it turns out...

...he's got 2 left feet.

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I don't get the point of a lap dance

If I wanted a woman to take my money and frustrate me sexually, I would've stayed home with my wife

So this guy wants to ask this girl to the dance...

So he makes a poster and everything and asks her. She says yes. Later on, the guy goes over to the girls house to pick her up and the two drive to the dance together. They have fun laughing and joking and dancing and the guy asks if she can get her something to drink. She says yes and he goes to get...

My wife got really mad when she found me kissing her twin during a drunken dance at a wedding.

He is not too thrilled about it either.

What's a horse's favorite dance move?

The neigh neigh

Why do Irish dancers only dance with their legs?

Cause all the arms have been decommissioned.

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A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday

They arrive at the club and the doorman says,

“Hey, Dave! How ya doin’?”

His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.

“Oh no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.”

When they are seated…

A waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and brings o...

Have you heard about the hottest dance moves nowadays?

It’s called the Srirachachacha

I hate when my wife drags me to a dance class.

She knew I was paraplegic when she married me.

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I went to a dance but the butterfly wasn't there.

It was a mothball.

Why can't jello cubes dance?

Because they are a bunch of squares.

I went to a dance.

First they played 'Jump', and I jumped.

Then they played 'The Twist', and I twisted.

Then they played 'Come On Eileen', and I got kicked out.

The only dance I know how to do is The Heisenberg

Because it changes when I’m being observed.

A young couple attend a dance together...

A young couple attend a dance together. When the two arrive at the dance, there is a long line to enter the dance hall.

After waiting and waiting, the couple make it to the front entrance.

They are told they can’t enter the dance hall unless they have a ticket.

The line for t...

3 men walk into a bar. The first one gets naked and sells his clothes. The second one punches himself with a chair and sues the barman. The third one challenges a service dog to a dance-off for a reward. Who made the biggest profit that night?

Their drug dealer

During a drought, a farmer remembers hearing about a native tribe who's rain dance is said to work every time...

so the next day he gets in his pickup and heads out to visit the tribes chief.

When he gets there he asks if the tribe would be able to preform a rain dance for him.

"Yes, we can call the spirits of water with our dance, but first I must gather the tribe, and my son is two states away ...

Why do ballerinas dance on their toes?

So they don’t wake up the audience!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] So our friend said her dance instructor warned the girls about a level 2 sex offender across the street from the studio

So I looked at her and asked what kind of loot he drops, and how much gold and XP he gives when killed.

If The Safety Dance comes on, are we obligated to dance?

I mean, I know we can dance if we want to

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