I got so drunk last night

I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance contest...

I made up a dance about an old guy and a kid going on an adventure and asked everyone to name the movie it’s based on.

Someone just guessed it. The jig is Up.

What high school dance do cheese go to?


What do you call a sequence of dance moves made by Al Gore?

An algorithm.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What kind of moves does 242 year old ink bust out on the dance floor?


Fucking crucify me

I hate it when they say white people can't dance...

Like hello we have Micheal Jackson.

What dance move catches everyone by surprise?

The Plot Twist!

Some people claim Al Gore dances too robotically

He says its just his Al Gore rhythm

Dance like no one's watching!

Just be careful of the creepy guy in the corner with the video camera who hasn't moved all night who wants the make you famous on YouTube.

What do you call a lap dance from a girl with 3 or less limbs?


Coca Cola employees can't dance...

But they can Tango.

A boy has a crush on a girl at his school. He sees that a dance is coming up soon so he decides to ask her to the dance.

Shes says yes, so he decides he should get some flowers for her. He goes to the flower shop and there is a huge line. He waits and waits for almost and hour, he eventually gets to the front and buys some roses for her. He then decides it would be a good idea to get a limo. He goes to the limo rental...

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A man and a woman hits it off at a dance...

They both liked what they saw and decided to go back to his place. One thing led to another, and soon they gravitated to the bedroom and proceeded to undress.

The first thing he removed was his socks and shoes. She noted his feet were withered and crooked. When asked, he responded that when h...

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Went to a club with the wife and there was a guy on the dance floor going mental - twerking, breakdancing, spinning, moonwalking, back flips, the whole lot . My wife turned to me and said, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”

I said, "By the looks of it, he’s still fucking celebrating!”

I had a gold fish who could break dance on a carpet.

... for 20 seconds.

... And only once.

What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?

A hootenanny.

What do you call it when a white man on a dance floor has a seizure?

An improvement

Why’d the skeleton not go to the dance?

He was dead

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a boogie in it

The homecoming dance

A somewhat socially awkward lad asked a girl he liked to the homecoming dance, and she said yes.

The boy asked his dad for advice, and his dad gave him several tips: get her a nice corsage that matches your boutonniere, show up 10 minutes early to pick her up and speak pleasantly and respect...

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I have the perfect response when a woman at a club turns me down when I ask her to dance.

"That's OK. I gotta take a shit, anyway. "

School dances this year are going to be like Fortnite lobbies...

Lots of stupid dance moves and unnecessary shooting

In order to join our club, you must perform the dance

It's called 2 step verification

Why don't women like to dance with German men?

Cause they're all Hans

(this is my first attempt at writing a joke, go easy)

What is Link's favorite dance at the club?

Macarena of Time

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

At a local college dance,

a guy from America asks a girl from Sweden to dance.

While they are dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, “In America, we call this a hug.”

She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden we call it a hug too.”

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, “In America, w...

I can teach you how to break dance so fast

It'll make your headspin

High school dance.

My friend James only has one eye and was embarrassed to ask anyone to his first high school dance. Since I’m taking wood shop, I agreed to make him a wooden eye. My girlfriend is an artist and she made this eye look perfect. I found him a date for the dance and he said, “what does she look like?” I ...

They should make a TV show about people who dance on logs,

They can call it Log-a-Rhythm.

Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon.

They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.

So this guy wants to ask this girl to the dance...

So he makes a poster and everything and asks her. She says yes. Later on, the guy goes over to the girls house to pick her up and the two drive to the dance together. They have fun laughing and joking and dancing and the guy asks if she can get her something to drink. She says yes and he goes to get...

Why don't Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?

April showers bring Mayflowers.

What do you call it when a naked guy dances to Christmas music?

Jingle Balls.

So i went to a dance club the other night...

... I had a great time

They played the Macarena, so I did the Macarena.

They played Jump Around, so I jumped around.

They played The Twist, so I did The Twist.

Then they played Come on Eileen, so I was promptly kicked out of the club.

I tried teaching my dog how to dance, but it turns out...

...he's got 2 left feet.

What's a horse's favorite dance move?

The neigh neigh

My wife got really mad when she found me kissing her twin during a drunken dance at a wedding.

He is not too thrilled about it either.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I went to a dance but the butterfly wasn't there.

It was a mothball.

Why do Irish dancers only dance with their legs?

Cause all the arms have been decommissioned.

Have you heard about the hottest dance moves nowadays?

It’s called the Srirachachacha

Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?

The meatball

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I don't get the point of a lap dance

If I wanted a woman to take my money and frustrate me sexually, I would've stayed home with my wife

The only dance I know how to do is The Heisenberg

Because it changes when I’m being observed.

A young couple attend a dance together...

A young couple attend a dance together. When the two arrive at the dance, there is a long line to enter the dance hall.

After waiting and waiting, the couple make it to the front entrance.

They are told they can’t enter the dance hall unless they have a ticket.

The line for t...

3 men walk into a bar. The first one gets naked and sells his clothes. The second one punches himself with a chair and sues the barman. The third one challenges a service dog to a dance-off for a reward. Who made the biggest profit that night?

Their drug dealer

Did you hear the Little Engine that Could is going to be on a dance competition?

The show is going to be called “So You Think You Can?”

Why can't jello cubes dance?

Because they are a bunch of squares.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[NSFW] So our friend said her dance instructor warned the girls about a level 2 sex offender across the street from the studio

So I looked at her and asked what kind of loot he drops, and how much gold and XP he gives when killed.

I hate when my wife drags me to a dance class.

She knew I was paraplegic when she married me.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser....

If The Safety Dance comes on, are we obligated to dance?

I mean, I know we can dance if we want to

I went to a dance.

First they played 'Jump', and I jumped.

Then they played 'The Twist', and I twisted.

Then they played 'Come On Eileen', and I got kicked out.

Why do ballerinas dance on their toes?

So they don’t wake up the audience!

I was told to move, so I started to dance.

The police man then towed my car.

During a drought, a farmer remembers hearing about a native tribe who's rain dance is said to work every time...

so the next day he gets in his pickup and heads out to visit the tribes chief.

When he gets there he asks if the tribe would be able to preform a rain dance for him.

"Yes, we can call the spirits of water with our dance, but first I must gather the tribe, and my son is two states away ...

What do you call the guy who created the Gangnam Style dance?

A Koreagrapher

I'm taking the goose farmer's daughter to the dance...

I heard she knows how to get down

How do Nachos dance

They do the salsa

I bought my wife a stripper pole for our anniversary and installed it in our bedroom.

Whenever I ask her if she likes it, she just dances around the subject.

Why does Jesus never get invited to dances?

Instead of doing the YMCA he does the TTTT

What is something that's burried but you can still dance on it?

A beet

How do u make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

During a dance at the retirement home...

The local retirement home decided to have a dance for the residents, a sort of a prom. So all the men and women dressed in their best and gathered in the common area.

During the evening, Elmer, an 85 year old stud, spies Mabel, a 68 year old beauty he begins to flirt, and soon asks her back...

A very handsome man gets into a terrible car accident...

The doctors save his life but he loses an eye. Before a glass one can be fitted, he is temporarily given a wooden eye.
The man becomes very depressed because of his eye loss and sits at home moping around. Eventually his friends come over and drag him out to a bar to try and cheer him up. While a...

What is M. Night Shyamalan's favourite dance?

The samba

Bet you thought it was the twist

A boy wanted to go to a dance with his girlfriend.

But before that, he needed to get ready. He tried to get a tuxedo, but the line at the store was very long. He eventually got to the front, but they ran out and told him to come back tomorrow.

The next day, he went to the store again. The line was very long again. He got to the front, and th...

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Asking her to the dance.

So there's this kid, let's call him Jerry. He's been eyeing this girl at school for months now, and there's a big dance coming up. He knows she doesn't have a date, and he would give anything to go with her- but there's a problem.

Whenever he gets close to her, he gets an erection that would...

My half Native American friend Les tried to teach me to rain dance, but we could only ever muster a light mist...

I guess I'm just going to have to make dew with Les.

What do you call it when Steve Buscemi dances?

A Steve Bu-shimmy

My newborn nephew entered the world with the innate ability to dance. They ran tests and found that he got the ability by being born with an extra chromosome. The doctors are calling it...

"Get down syndrome"

A woman is having a hard time getting her tomatoes to ripen so she goes to her neighbor with her problem. The neighbor says, "All you have to do is go out at midnight and dance around in the garden naked for a few minutes, and the tomatoes will become so embarrassed, they will blush bright red."

The woman goes out at midnight and dances around her garden naked for a few minutes. The next morning, the neighbor comes over to the woman's house and asks the woman if her tomatoes have turned red. The woman says "No, they're still green, but I noticed the cucumbers grew four inches!"

What do you call a girl that can table dance infinitely due to unusual geometry infinitely due to unusual the geometry

A Mobius stripper