A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

“Ringling Brothers is coming to town this week,” she said. “The poster says they have a dancing bear. I always wanted to see one of those.”

“Maybe next year,” says the man. “Work’s really busy this week.”

The next night at dinner, the man can barely sit down before his wife starts talk...

I hate being white, I can't dance, I can't talk and

the only thing about me is the way that I walk.

A dentist shoots a kid doing a fortnite dance.

"You're bleeding because you were flossing"

How do you make a tissue dance?

You threaten to kill its entire family.

I got so drunk last night

I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance contest...

The wife’s mother said: ‘When you’re dead, I’ll dance on your grave.’

Me: ‘Good, I’m being buried at sea.’

Went to a dance last night...

They played The Twist. I did The Twist.

They played The Macarena. I did the Macarena.

They played Come On Eileen. I got thrown out.

A hippopotamus walks into a bar. He buys a drink for the rabbit on the bar stool. She bats her eyes at him. He asks for a dance..

The rabbit says "tango?"

He says "nope.... Lets do Hip Hop!"

What do the worlds greatest dance halls and best underwear have in common

Lots of ball room

Why did the girl invite the mushroom to the school dance?

Because he was a Fun-gi

Its the homecoming dance, and so far the gym is split between boys and girls.

Several minutes pass until the boys start talking to the girls and asking them to dance. One after another the girls get asked to. All but one remains. Nobody has asked her out due to her fake wooden eye that she has.

Then suddenly, one boy realizes her sitting alone and wishes she was havin...

What's the difference between a night club and a strip club?

A night club has a beat that you can dance to.

I made up a dance about an old guy and a kid going on an adventure and asked everyone to name the movie it’s based on.

Someone just guessed it. The jig is Up.

My family loves to have dance parties.

My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect.

Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing!

It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especi...

What do you call a sequence of dance moves made by Al Gore?

An algorithm.

Where do burgers go to dance?

The meatball.

I don't like Fornite and would love to dance on their grave

But I'm afraid they might steal it.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What kind of moves does 242 year old ink bust out on the dance floor?

Indapendance

Fucking crucify me

What do you call a Russian Starbucks employee, who loves to dance?

Baristnikov

What do you call a lap dance from a girl with 3 or less limbs?

Amputease

Coca Cola employees can't dance...

But they can Tango.

Some people claim Al Gore dances too robotically

He says its just his Al Gore rhythm

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Went to a club with the wife and there was a guy on the dance floor going mental - twerking, breakdancing, spinning, moonwalking, back flips, the whole lot . My wife turned to me and said, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”

I said, "By the looks of it, he’s still fucking celebrating!”

A boy has a crush on a girl at his school. He sees that a dance is coming up soon so he decides to ask her to the dance.

Shes says yes, so he decides he should get some flowers for her. He goes to the flower shop and there is a huge line. He waits and waits for almost and hour, he eventually gets to the front and buys some roses for her. He then decides it would be a good idea to get a limo. He goes to the limo rental...

What dance move catches everyone by surprise?

The Plot Twist!

I had a gold fish who could break dance on a carpet.

... for 20 seconds.

... And only once.

I hate it when they say white people can't dance...

Like hello we have Micheal Jackson.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A woman went to a dance and hit it off with a guy there.

They both liked what they saw and decided to go back to his place. One thing led to another, and soon they gravitated to the bedroom and proceeded to undress.

The first thing he removed was his socks and shoes. She noted his feet were withered and crooked. When asked, he responded that when h...

School dances this year are going to be like Fortnite lobbies...

Lots of stupid dance moves and unnecessary shooting

Why’d the skeleton not go to the dance?

He was dead

What do you call it when a white man on a dance floor has a seizure?

An improvement

The homecoming dance

A somewhat socially awkward lad asked a girl he liked to the homecoming dance, and she said yes.

The boy asked his dad for advice, and his dad gave him several tips: get her a nice corsage that matches your boutonniere, show up 10 minutes early to pick her up and speak pleasantly and respect...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

At a local college dance,

a guy from America asks a girl from Sweden to dance.

While they are dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, “In America, we call this a hug.”

She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden we call it a hug too.”

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, “In America, w...

Dance like no one's watching!

Just be careful of the creepy guy in the corner with the video camera who hasn't moved all night who wants the make you famous on YouTube.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I have the perfect response when a woman at a club turns me down when I ask her to dance.

"That's OK. I gotta take a shit, anyway. "

Why don't women like to dance with German men?

Cause they're all Hans

(this is my first attempt at writing a joke, go easy)

In order to join our club, you must perform the dance

It's called 2 step verification

What is Link's favorite dance at the club?

Macarena of Time

I can teach you how to break dance so fast

It'll make your headspin

What do you call it when a naked guy dances to Christmas music?

Jingle Balls.

What's green and sings and dances fantastic?

Fred Asparagus. (I'm sorry, Holiday Inn was on TCM tonight.)

High school dance.

My friend James only has one eye and was embarrassed to ask anyone to his first high school dance. Since I’m taking wood shop, I agreed to make him a wooden eye. My girlfriend is an artist and she made this eye look perfect. I found him a date for the dance and he said, “what does she look like?” I ...

They should make a TV show about people who dance on logs,

They can call it Log-a-Rhythm.

Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon.

They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.

So this guy wants to ask this girl to the dance...

So he makes a poster and everything and asks her. She says yes. Later on, the guy goes over to the girls house to pick her up and the two drive to the dance together. They have fun laughing and joking and dancing and the guy asks if she can get her something to drink. She says yes and he goes to get...

Why don't Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?

April showers bring Mayflowers.

I tried teaching my dog how to dance, but it turns out...

...he's got 2 left feet.

My wife got really mad when she found me kissing her twin during a drunken dance at a wedding.

He is not too thrilled about it either.

What do you call a dance party full of skeletons?

A grave.

What's a horse's favorite dance move?

The neigh neigh

Why do Irish dancers only dance with their legs?

Cause all the arms have been decommissioned.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I don't get the point of a lap dance

If I wanted a woman to take my money and frustrate me sexually, I would've stayed home with my wife

Have you heard about the hottest dance moves nowadays?

It’s called the Srirachachacha

Why can't jello cubes dance?

Because they are a bunch of squares.

The only dance I know how to do is The Heisenberg

Because it changes when I’m being observed.

A young couple attend a dance together...

A young couple attend a dance together. When the two arrive at the dance, there is a long line to enter the dance hall.

After waiting and waiting, the couple make it to the front entrance.

They are told they can’t enter the dance hall unless they have a ticket.

The line for t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I went to a dance but the butterfly wasn't there.

It was a mothball.

3 men walk into a bar. The first one gets naked and sells his clothes. The second one punches himself with a chair and sues the barman. The third one challenges a service dog to a dance-off for a reward. Who made the biggest profit that night?

Their drug dealer

I hate when my wife drags me to a dance class.

She knew I was paraplegic when she married me.

During a drought, a farmer remembers hearing about a native tribe who's rain dance is said to work every time...

so the next day he gets in his pickup and heads out to visit the tribes chief.

When he gets there he asks if the tribe would be able to preform a rain dance for him.

"Yes, we can call the spirits of water with our dance, but first I must gather the tribe, and my son is two states away ...

Did you hear the Little Engine that Could is going to be on a dance competition?

The show is going to be called “So You Think You Can?”

I went to a dance.

First they played 'Jump', and I jumped.

Then they played 'The Twist', and I twisted.

Then they played 'Come On Eileen', and I got kicked out.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[NSFW] So our friend said her dance instructor warned the girls about a level 2 sex offender across the street from the studio

So I looked at her and asked what kind of loot he drops, and how much gold and XP he gives when killed.

If The Safety Dance comes on, are we obligated to dance?

I mean, I know we can dance if we want to

Why does Jesus never get invited to dances?

Instead of doing the YMCA he does the TTTT

Why do ballerinas dance on their toes?

So they don’t wake up the audience!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A few originals (hopefully) by me.

I read an article the other day that said women named Rachel are 10x more likely to get pulled over by the police...

Another terrible example of Rachel profiling.


_______


What do you call a dinosaur that is attempting to get his girlfriend to try new things in the bedr...

What do you call the guy who created the Gangnam Style dance?

A Koreagrapher

I'm taking the goose farmer's daughter to the dance...

I heard she knows how to get down

I finally asked Stacey to prom!!!

She was my neighbor for years and it took me months of planning and going back and forth to ask her out. My friend Richy thought if i was this nervous i shouldn’t ask her our, but when i finally did she said yes

When we got to the dance i introduced her to Richy and my other friends who went ...

How do Nachos dance

They do the salsa

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Guy and his two buddies are at a bar, when one of them nudges the other two

"See those three women over there? Lets go talk to them."
So they go over and strike up a conversation, buying them a few drinks. After a while, each of his friends ask one of the women to dance. As he's about to ask the third girl to dance he notices she's in a wheelchair and then sees him looki...

What is something that's burried but you can still dance on it?

A beet

How do u make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

During a dance at the retirement home...

The local retirement home decided to have a dance for the residents, a sort of a prom. So all the men and women dressed in their best and gathered in the common area.

During the evening, Elmer, an 85 year old stud, spies Mabel, a 68 year old beauty he begins to flirt, and soon asks her back...