Dimension Jokes - 31 Hilarious Dimension Jokes

What's the name of Liverpool in a parallel dimension?

Spleenbasin

How is the bathroom like the 4th dimension?

Because after I've been in there you might want to give it time and space.

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender rema...

I actually heard this joke in a dream this morning

What do you call a little square that hasn't developed its new dimension yet?

Precubescent

How many dimensions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three. Two to rotate, one to get it done in time.

There are three dimensions to credit cards

... length, width, and debt.

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An engineer, mathematician, and a programmer are trapped in another dimension

Suddenly before their eyes, the devil materializes.

"Escape from here is impossible without help from a higher power. I'll give you three wishes to escape. If you are still here, I can claim your soul."

"I wish to leave," said the engineer.

And so he disappeared, but a piercing ...

I'm hiring a group of time travellers to come on an epic mission to fight crime across the 4th dimension.

If you're interested, interview was yesterday

What do they call Cuba in a different dimension?

Squara

If we were compressed down to a single dimension ...

what would be the point of it all?

So two scientists invent a machine that can travel to other dimensions...

After much calibrating and testing and preparing, the scientists hop aboard their creation and activate it. There is a blinding flash of blue light and in an instant the scientists are sitting in the middle of a grassy field. There is no sign of their lab...or really anything familiar at all.
<...

Once we meet intelligent extraterrestrials, discrimination will get a whole new dimension

Just for you to know, I am on your side, you are my species!

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So there is this scientist right? And the dudes a fuckin genius. I’m talking different dimension destroying genius aight.

But this guy, THIS FUCKIN GUY, decides “eh, fuck it I’m bored” and he turns himself into the most outrageous thing! Smartass dude turns himself into a pickle! A FUCKIN PICKLE. Funniest shit I’ve ever seen.

After a long time of procrastination I read that book about the 4th dimension.

It's about time...

I didn't believe it when they told me the government had accidentally opened a portal to another dimension while trying to spy on the Russians...

But I guess stranger things have happened.

An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing.

So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked.

The Doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem.

"Here's what you do. Start abou...

3 Shapes walk into a bar..

A 2D Square, a 3D Sphere, and a 4D Hypercube walk into a bar. The 2D Square insists, "From my view, everything is flat, so the Earth must be flat too!" The 3D Sphere rolls its eyes and says, "That's just your perspective. In 3D, it's clear the Earth is round." The 4D Hypercube adds, "In 4D, I see al...

Did you hear about the episode concept for Doctor Who where The Doctor accidentally falls into a food themed alternative dimension?

He was attacked by The Garlics

A marine biologist walks into the post office

A marine biologist walks into the post office and says he needs to send a large tank overnight. The postal worker asks for the dimensions of the tank and when the biologist gives them to him the postal worker says, "We can't send a tank that big overnight. It'll have to go by freight train."

...

A horse walks into a triangular bar...

... of dimensions X,Y, and Z, where X and Z are perpendicular. He asks the barman where the toilets are.

The barman replies, "Y, the long face"

A few moments after the big bang a cloud full of Hydrogen atoms fall into a blackhole and die.

A few moments after the big bang a cloud full of Hydrogen atoms fall into a blackhole and die. The arrive at the border between multiverses and meet Saint Platinum-Erbium

St PtEr says to them "Welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through, but before I may do that, I must ask each...

Wanna hear a good one liner?

1 Dimension

The Sanders/Cruz debate was really weird

It was like peeking into an alternate dimension where both parties had hindsight

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In the early days of aircraft, China was copying some American designs.

They bought one of the earliest gliders from the States and carefully took it apart. Measured dimensions of the wings and body, weighed every single part and even did some careful studies to determine the exact materials.

They put some of their best engineers on it to ensure all the maths che...

Following a particularly good year, the circus decided to spend their profits on a human cannonball exhibit

After the cannon was delivered, they realized that the manufacturer got the dimensions all wrong. The barrel was so narrow that only a child could fit inside, and a child would never be allowed to perform such a dangerous act.

Months went by and the cannon remained unused, until one day...

My pillow

I designed my own pillow. The pillow to rule all pillows. The perfect dimensions, the perfect stiffness, the perfect material. I sought the finest fabrics from around the globe and set to work on my grandest creation. It took months, but I finished. The last step was to transport it from the se...

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Paul Simon, Art Garfunkel and Peter Fonda are hanging out towards the end of the Swinging Sixties...

*Easy Rider* has just come out, Simon and Garfunkel are about to release *Bridge Over Troubled Water*, and the three men are the epitome of counter-culture cool. They're all pretty stoned, and Paul Simon turns to Peter Fonda, and says, "Hey, Peter, you wanna see something really groovy?"

Pete...

Newton, Galileo and Pascal were playing hide and seek...

...Pascal taps Galileo and decides he is seeking before running to hide. Galileo begins to count. Newton grabs a piece of chalk from his pocket because all scientists have pieces of chalk in their pocket and proceeds to draw a square with 1m dimensions around him. By the time he is done Galileo turn...

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Railroad tracks, a horses ass... and rockets! [Long]

The US standard railroad gauge (the distance between two rails) is 4 feet 8.5 inches... an exceedingly odd number.

Why was that gauge used?

Because a number of the early railroad lines in the US were built to fit standard-gauge locomotives manufactured by English railroad pioneer G...

A Joke Experiment

A guy walks into a bar…

That is the first line of the joke experiment. I’m curious to see if the r/jokes community can work together to craft the Perfect Joke. I don’t know if this has been done before, but I’m sure if it’s a bad idea it will be ignored (or downvoted into oblivion) anyway...

How do you turn a three-dimensional printer into a four-dimensional printer?

Just give it time.

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