What do you call a small person in Thailand?

Thai-ny

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Just came back from holiday in Thailand....

.......and I was so close to shagging a lady boy!!


Looked like a lady, talked like a lady, kissed like a lady........ It was only when she drove me to her place and reversed the car into the garage in one try I thought to myself, "Hang on a fucking moment..."

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What do you call it when you order a Thailand prostitute?

A trans-action :-)

Girls in Thailand are like a box of random chocolates

You never know which one has nuts

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A Thailand Love Story

A man was lying in bed with his new Thai "girlfriend." They had great sex and were catching their breath. As they lay there, she started rubbing and stroking his testicles - over and over. He enjoyed the feeling of her touch, but was curious.

"That feels really nice. Why do you like doing tha...

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How Bangkok became the capital of Thailand

Long ago there was a king of Thailand, and he unfortunately passed away due to old age. However the people of Thailand saw this as an opportunity to grow and create a capital and have a new young robust leader.

The people decided to go to the surrounding tribes and select a few fit young men ...

I head Thailand and Iraq are working together to create a new product.

It's called a Tie Rack

It was eleven years ago today my best mate James came running out of the room shouting "It's a boy!" with tears streaming down his face.

We never went back to Thailand.

What's the difference between Thailand and America?

Thailand reunites boys with their families.

Why are most stormtrooper pilots from Thailand?

Because they're natural Thai fighters

Hey girl are you a cave in Thailand?

Cause I wanna leave some kids inside you

A NFL coach vacationing in Thailand,

Wants to get away from all the game and glamour. So he retreats to a remote village in Thailand. One day, he decides to go watch a local movie.
There are 9 people seated in the small viewing room. As soon as he walks in, they begin applauding, with looks of adulation and starstruck expressions. ...

A Thai family moves to China to evade poverty in Thailand

The father and son find a job in a manufacturing plant. The days are long, the work gruesome, their clothes dirty and torn. The pay is low, but just enough to provide their family with food and shelter.

A few years pass, and the son, now 20, became really skilled. He has a good relationship ...

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A military officer by the name of Major Bed had arrived in Thailand for an undercover job...

For the job to be an utmost success, he needed to get plastic surgery to change his identity a bit as well as a new ID. He found a renowned doctor who also made fake ID's and made an appointment for the next day.

After he made the appointment, he had the full day to fuck around so he decided ...

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A Russian goes to Thailand

A Russian goes to Thailand and is hanging out with the locals. He asks if they've ever played Russian roulette.


"We have our own version. There are six women. You pick one, and she gives you a blowjob."


"What's the danger in that?"


"One of them is a man."

Nobody even noticed that Thailand announced they were starting a Space Force too....

Who’s really worried about Thai fighters anyway?

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Before landing in Thailand...

...the captain kindly reminds the passengers to be careful who they meet and for what, because 50% of population has HIV and the other 50% tuberculosis.

One old man couldn't hear properly, so asked his grandson, what the captain said.

The man replied:

- To fuck only the coughi...

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An American missionary is in Thailand when he is approached by a man offering prostitutes...

The man says in broken English, "I have pretty girl for you!"

The missionary responds, "No thank you"

But he is persistent, "What you like? Long hair? Boobs? Legs?"

The missionary says, "No thank you. I am here to preach the words of Jesus."

The man says, "Oh! You want b...

What do you call a Hispanic man living in Thailand?

Thai Juan

This just in: a horrible fishing accident in Thailand.

Several boys found in fishnets

What did AOL say to the man about his new bride from Thailand?

You've got male

My work friend went to Thailand

He picked up 2 girls and went back to his hotel room, he thought he’d won the lottery

He had 6 matching balls...

I dont like the fact that the Thailand cave boys have become all famous and mainstream.

I preferred them when they were more Underground

I met a girl in Thailand and when we went back to her place I had an unpleasant surprise...

She was a woman.

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I was with a girl in Thailand recently. She was a butternuts.

Everything about was hot but her nuts.

Told my dad that 12 boys from a junior football team are lost in a flooded cave in Thailand.

Dad: They should call a priest.

Me: Dad! They could still be alive.

Dad: Yes I believe that they are still alive as well, just toss a priest in the cave and he'll find those boys real quick.

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Saw a really stunning cute girl in Thailand on the bus, couldn't stop looking. I thought "please don't get a boner, please don't get a boner..."

But she did.

Why don't people take Advil in Thailand?

Because they prefer Thai-lenol (Tylenol).

Three years ago my brother came running down the stairs yelling “It’s a boy, it’s a boy!”

That’s the last time we visited Thailand

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A guy is minding his own business, drinking at the bar, when a random Asian guy runs in and kicks the living shit out of him.

He's laying on the floor bleeding, and he says, "What the hell, buddy?"

The Asian guy replies, "That was Judo, from Japan!"

A few days later, the guy is quietly drinking again, and another Asian guy runs in and also beats him senseless.

He's lying on the floor and he groans, "W...

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A man gets home from sex trip in Thailand...

and realizes his penis became green and it hurts badly when he touches it. So he goes to consult a doctor.
Doctor: "Hm, yeah, that's a severe illness you got there. The only way to deal with this is amputation."
The man freaks out, screaming an cursing the doctor for suggesting the unspeakabl...

What do men in Thailand say when they can’t get girls?

“Phuket! I’m just going to Bangkok instead!”

I thought I was about to get lucky in Thailand

A lass it was not to be

What's the difference between Disneyland America and Disneyland Thailand?

In Thailand, you pay extra for the happy ending with each ride.

I really regret what I did in the capital of Thailand

Bangkok

What is worse than caving in Thailand?

Caving in Helsinki.

What country never wins or loses?

Thailand!

"The 12 boys stranded in a flooded cave system in Thailand have started diving lessons in the latest step in efforts to bring them out alive."

I think they've hired Neymar.

When the little boys stuck in that cave in Thailand are rescued, there’s definitely gonna be a movie. There’s a ex US Navy Seal helping. They’re gonna make the movie all about him

and have Scarlett Johansen playing one of the Thai boys.

An American tourist is traveling in Thailand and stops over in a small border village for a meal. While the inside of the restaurant is rather small and modest, it does have a beautifully designed ant farm covering most of one wall. Curious, he asks the old man running the restaurant about it.

“Ah,” says the old man. “I use the ant eggs to make a dish called maengman chom. The Cambodians who visit here especially love it; they spend so many riel on it that I had that display made to show off the ants. It’s a specialty of mine; would you like to try some?”

“Ant eggs are a little exo...

"It's a boy!", He screamed, running out of the room,

And vowed never to visit Thailand again.

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In Thailand, where on the woman's body is the clitoris?

Depends on the surgeon

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A man went on vacation to Thailand once...

...unfortunately something went wrong with the booking of the hotel. His room (and any room for that matter) wouldn't be available until tomorrow. The receptionist told the man that if he asked nicely he might be permitted to stay one night in the local temple along with the monks. So the man made h...

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I was on a plane recently and the stewardess said that in the event of an accident i had to stick my head between my legs.

I couldn't help thinking,

'if i could do that i wouldn't be flying to Thailand in the first place.'

Tell you what, it's lucky that those Kids trapped in the cave in Thailand are footballers

It means they're already good divers.

My friend was surprised when I said I hadn't heard about the kids in Thailand being rescued

Where have you been? Living in a cave?

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How do you spot a Jewish paedophile in Thailand?

He brings his own kids.

Brazil have sent star player Neymar to Thailand to help rescue the young footballers in the cave

...they heard they needed someone to teach them how to dive

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A man with "Manchurian Dick"

A man came home from Thailand after a few weeks there. One of his biggest motivations for going there was the prostitutes, spending his whole vacation screwing, he was very concerned about his penis. It was turning colours and was very painful. He gets it checked by visiting his family doctor. The m...

How is driving a Ford truck similar to visiting Thailand?

Either way, you're likely to blow a tranny

The boys trapped in a cave in Thailand need to become diving experts to escape

Sounds like a job for Neymar

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I just got married to a young woman from Thailand and she told me that a small penis is okay.

I still wish she didn't have one though.

My African-American friend hooked up with a girl from Thailand...

It was a real black-Thai affair.

What’s the one place in Thailand where people don’t care?

Phuket.

what do you eat at a formal event in thailand?

black thai curry

They discovered a new monkey living on the outskirts of a red light district in Thailand.

It's called the Yuusuk Macaque.

"Massage pinis."

Sam during a vacation to Thailand, ordered a massage session in his room. One for his wife and one for himself.

After massaging Sam for a while, the Thai girl said, "Massage pinis".

Sam felt awkward, but kept quiet, looking shiftily at his wife.

The Thai masseur again said, "Ma...

A Nigerian prince secretly orders a 2nd wife over the internet from Thailand.

The wedding was a black-tie affair

What's the name of Thailands bloodiest kickboxer?

Tam Pon

I was thinking about telling a Thailand joke...

But Phucket.

“It’s a boy!” I shouted, with tears rolling down my face. “It’s a boy! I don’t believe it!”

And it was at that point that I resolved never to visit Thailand again.

I dropped everything and went to Thailand

Because Phuket.

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I just got back from Thailand....

While I was there I went for a testicle check up. The little Thai nurse cupped my balls and said don't worry sir it's quite normal to get an erection during this procedure. I said I don't have an erection, no she said but I do.

I asked a Southeast-Asian-looking elderly gentleman if he was from Thailand.

He said, "Yeah, Siam."

Is is hard to impersonate an African man native to Thailand?

I just really want to get into one of those black Thai events.

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my neigbour was in Thailand

He returned with a new girlfriend. She is one foot taller than him and she is drop dead beautiful.

The other day I talked to him asking how things are going with his new girl.

He moved closer to me and whispered:

"My girl says: it's no problem to have a small penis"

The...

Have you ever visited the area between Thailand and Vietnam?

Don't bother. It's pretty Laos-y.

Always bring a rogue with you when you go to Thailand

They're good at detecting traps

Brothels in Thailand have a red and white striped pole outside like a barbars shop!

I didn't know!

Imagine my shock when I went in and asked for a 'number 2 all over'

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Subway

I was taking the Subway train due to the fact that it was the fastest way to work. I was going to have a presentation that day and nothing have to ruin it. At the last station where the train picked up the last passangers, a super hot and sexy women from Thailand sat infront of me. I was thinking to...

Whats the age of consent in Thailand?

50$

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My body is a temple..

 

but it's one of those temples in Thailand where they let monkeys shit all over the place.

Made in Thailand

Have you heard of the mountain climber from Bangkok?

He became famous as the Thai of the Eiger.

~

Who won the election for mayor of Bangkok?

It was a Thai.

Its been almost ten years so I feel I can make this joke now. What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

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While on holiday in Thailand my friend met a stunning girl in a bar, so he plied her with alcohol to make his chances of getting a shag easier.

His plan backfired though. When they got back to his hotel she was too pissed to maintain her erection.

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Mrs. Parker and Baroness Von Hildebrand

There's this woman, let's call her Mrs. Parker. She is on a flight from Frankfurt to London. She's tired, she's had a long day. She gets on the plane, goes to her seat in economy class, window seat. She makes herself comfortable and tries to get some sleep.

Another woman comes and sits next ...

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I was offered sex...

In Thailand, I was offered sex with a 21 years old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available ...

A Hot Thai Nurse

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service in the UK, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting Thailand where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating.


As usual he was asked to...

What's your favorite city in Thailand?

Phuket, I don't know...

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A man takes a vacation in Bangkok

While he is there, he is approached by a"bar girl". She is beautiful and the price is too low to turn down, so the man agrees to the "$2 special"
Back home in America a couple weeks later, the man is peeing and to his horror, he sees his penis has turned green! He immediately schedules an appoint...

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I had a near miss on my a flight to Thailand.

Well a pre-op Transsexual.

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A man goes to the doctor after returning from Thailand....

He explains to the doctor that while he was in Thailand, he had sex with a different prostitute every night. Now that he's returned home, his penis is starting to become green in some areas and black in other areas.


Fearing some horrible std, the doctor says, "this looks horrible, almost...

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