I recently started a band called 999 Megabytes....

Where pretty good but we haven't got a gig yet.

What is Elon Musk's favorite band?

30 Seconds to Mars.

My friend asked me who was the first band to start smashing guitars.

Impressed, I told him he was right.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There was a band conductor who also right songs in North Korea

Sorry for the typo in the title but..

His name was Pok. He was quite famous in the industry so one day, Kim Jong Un approached him.

“Pok, write me an orchestra piece and play it for me with your group”, said Kim. Pok did, after a month, the private show was held.

Sadly, it was s...

I noticed that people under the age of 20 are strongly gravitating towards 60s classic rock by well-known bands, such as The Who.

I'm not trying to cause a big sensation, I'm just talking 'bout my generation.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Did you hear about the new Japanese rock band?

Of Rice and Yen

I really like the band Depeche Mode.

I just can't get enough.

What is Dumbo's least favorite band?

>!Cage the Elephants!<

I bought a 2000's Boy band online for only five cents, but it never came in the mail.

I want my Nickelback

A pony just won my town's battle of the bands.

He was a rockin' horse.

I was in a band called Dark Web.

We was always on tor.

[Political] What's a pro-choicer's favorite metal band?

Dying Fetus

A new emerging rock band is having its first concert

To be sure that everything goes perfectly the group's manager decides to invite a well known concert critic: If he decided to come and the concert went well, that would've been their occasion to take off in the world of music

Incredibly the critic accepts their offering and is present in his ...

I used to play the triangle in a reggae band.

But I got bored and quit because it was just one ting after another.

I'm part of a big band group called The Megabytes.

Our thousandth member recently joined, finally readying us for our debut live performance.

It'll be our first gig.

What was Jesus's least favorite band?

Nine Inch Nails.

So there was an angry band director...

His band wasn’t super good, but they managed. One day, they were rehearsing, when a flute player messes up a part. They keep messing it up, and he gets so frustrated he stabs the flautist to death with his baton.
He goes to prison, and gets sentenced to death by electric chair. Before he goes in...

What do you call a mariachi band with one member?

A Juan man band.

Why should every band have a manager?

Because managers can offer sound advice.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call a Nazi leader who only listens to obscure bands?

Adolf Hipster

Did you hear about the Mexican emo band?

They're called 'Hispanic at the Disco'

I had a couple bad dreams last night about a Korean Boy Band

I think I might have BTSD

What is a vampire’s favorite band?

Type O Negative

What is a Jehovahs Witness favorite band?

The Doors

Two new recruits were on the deck of a ship.

One turns to other and says, "Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. Isn't it?"

Other recruit replies, "Everyone must be watching the band."

"There is no band on this ship."

"No, I definitely heard the captain say, a band on ship."

What is the electrician's favorite rock band?

AC/DC

I saw a dubstep/ska band the other day

First the drop the bass and then they pickituppickituppickitup

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My band is hosting a benefit concert for women with no legs.

The place will be crawling with pussy.

So a horse wants to start a band...

The horse needs some of his friend from the farm to help him out so they can become a band.

First he needs a guitarist, and who better than his friend chicken who played guitar for 3 years. He asks chicken if he wants to join and he agrees.

Next he needs a drummer, so horse thought a...

I got fired from the rubber band factory yesterday...

My first thought was "Oh snap!"

&#x200B;

(Again from my son)

Band most likely to be blasted out of the speakers at your local beehive?

Pollen Oates

Has anybody lost a large roll of 20 dollar bills in a rubber band?

Because we found the rubber band.

TIL Charles XII once had an affair, about which Sabaton will be releasing a new single to celebrate the 20 years the band has been together

Its called Carolus' ex

My friend once showed me a picture of a band of what he called "ogres"

I told him that they definitely weren't ogres, but They Might Be Giants.

Did you hear about the guy who got an award for taking down a thrash band selling drugs?

He got a metal mettle medal for metal meddle.

I'm starting an all-male cross-dressing dixie chicks tribute band

I'm calling it chicks with dixies

Why are band and orchestra rated R?

All the sax and violins

Everyone in our band has obsessive-complulsive disorder.

We're called "OC/DC."

Why did the folk singer bring a notebook to battle of the bands?

He heard that paper beats rock.

I was listening to Uncertain Smile from The The. Man, I love that band...

...They are the genuine article.

I thought up a good band name last night. Hillary and the Emails.

Would be HYUUUGE in 48% of the US.

A band of adventurers accept a quest, to slay the Ork King.

Before heading out to fight the Ork King, they head to town to hire a mercenary.
The first one is a swordsman, who asks for 1000 gold to join them.
The second is an archer, who wants 2000 gold for her services.
The last one is a Spearman, who is willing to do it just for the experienc...

A bus carrying a jazz band has broke down on the highway

Witnesses are reporting a massive jam

Have you ever heard the band 1023MB?

Probably not, they've never made a gig.

I was in an 80's band called The Prevention

We were better than The Cure.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the difference between a bull and a band that plays at weddings?

On the bull, the horns are in front and the asshole is in the back.

What is President Trump's least favorite rock band?

Foreigner.

I've been recently obsessed with the band Fish

They're having a few shows, I'm hoping to catch a live one!

Why is “1024 MB” the best name for a band?

You’ve always got a gig.

Soviet Russia used to have a leader who was also a singer in a rock band.

He's none other than John Lenin.

What is a kid with asthma's favorite band?

Weezer

I was in a band with a group of anti vaxxers.

We didn't live long enough to become popular.

Why did Martha pull her kids out of band class?

Too much Sax and Violins.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the official electro-pop band of the New England Patriots?

Kraftjerk

What is R. Kelly’s favorite band?

Alice In Chains.

If you wanna find the band Smash Mouth in the Bible,

Just open your Bible to Psalm... BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Did you hear about the Band Aid that got scammed

he was ripped off really bad

A horse starts a band

A horse starts a band with some of his friends from the farm. The horse became the singer, the pig became the drummer and, one of the cows was a guitarist and the sheep was one too. One day the horse found a nice woman (a horse too) and after a while they got married. After that the band gets so pop...

When my wife and I argue, we’re like a band in concert

we start with some new stuff, and then we roll out our greatest hits

Did you hear the largest rubber band ball has 200 Million rubber bands?

I think it’s a bit of a stretch.

Why was the band teacher arrested?

Because he fingered a minor.

The Pope is going to start a Bluegrass band at the Vatican.

He says he likes fiddling with the kids.

The singer for the band Steppenwolf has been decapitated in a motorbike accident...

They found his head out on the highway...

TIL Christian bands have a favourite chord.

G sus

What's the difference between a band of pygmies and a woman's track team?

**The pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts...**

Who is the drummer for the Austrialian Beatles cover band?

ɹɐʇs oƃuᴉp

Heard this joke a long time ago in highschool.. when band aid and Ethiopia were big news..

Ahmed runs a little eatery in Ethiopia.

One day, just when he was about to close up, an Ethiopian runs in, grab a plastic fork from the self serve area and runs out.. before Ahmed can process whether he's just been robbed.. another runs in, grab a fork but this time, the Ethiopian says thanks...

What do you call a band full of whales?

An ORCAstra

I feel uncomfortable watching a band pack up their gear after a show.

It's disconcerting.

What’s a dirty dishes’ favorite band?

N’sync

My band used to have a Polish sound guy.

And we also had a Czech one, too.

Why did the all-pharaoh brass band break up?

They didn’t have a Tutankhamun.

What do you call a baby metal band?

Ultrasound

How many musicians in my band does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, we get the drummer to do it.

What's a marching bands favorite Germanic Tribe?

The Saxons

Did you hear about the heavy metal band that also makes Christmas music?

They're called sleigh-er

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that."

So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and...

Pangea was my favorite band

Earth just hasn't been the same since they broke up.

My fiancee and I have matching engraved wedding bands ready for the wedding!

Inscription reads: waranty void if removed

What did the Captain yell when he saw the mariachi band?

A BAND ON SHIP

The keyboard player in our band committed suicide...

...after his Hammond c70, Moog 361 and Casio with a built in valve and leslie keyboards all broke down at once.


The coroner said he died of multiple organ failure

What is the CIA’s favorite band?

Dead Kennedys

Did you hear about the bed bug band?

They mostly play covers

(OC my dudes, read em and weep)

What's was the cookies favorite band?

OREO Speedwagon...

(I heard it from a friend, who heard it from a friend...)

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