The 104+ Best Band Jokes

I started a band called 999 Megabytes

We still haven't gotten a gig.

What’s Sisyphus’ least favorite band?

Rolling Stones

What do you call a heavy metal band With financial problems?

Megadebt

If Will Smith, Amber Heard, and Chris Brown formed a band, what would its name be?

The Heavy Hitters.

Why is Metallica the safest band to listen to in an airport?

Because they haven't set off a metal detector since 1989.

John manages a band where his dog plays guitar and his cat sings

Everyone is amazed. No one understands how they're doing it and it becomes a huge hit. The band travels around the country and John makes a lot of money from the band's success.

Eventually, it catches wind in Italy and Berlusconi wants to hear the band live. He invites John to Rome and he com...

I was in a band called Constipation.

We stunk. We didn’t go anywhere.

I’m in a band called “The Palindromes.”

Our first single is called “If I had a HiFi.”

If Marie Antoinette, Anne Boleyn, Charles I, and Louis XVI formed a band, what would its name be?

The Talking Heads.

I was once in a band called "1023MB”,

I thought we had potential, but we just couldn't get a gig.

I used to play the triangle in a reggae band

But I had to quit as it was just one ting after another

What's a necrophiliac's favourite band?

Coldplay

I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat’

You've probably seen our posters.

We had a band in High School called 1023 Megabytes.

We never made it to a gig.

If you ask me what my favorite rock band is and I'm being subjective, I'd say The Who.

If I was being objective, I'd say it was The Whom.

What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he was fired?

Oh snap.

What do you get when you cross a hurricane with a cruise ship full of 1990's boy bands?

Washed up musicians.

I used to be in a band called Pangea…

but then we drifted apart and split up

Why did the Chicken want to join a rock band???

He was the only one with a set of drum sticks...

I started an emo salsa band

We're called Hispanic at the Disco

What is the Grinch's favorite band?

The Who.

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I'm in a band called Delusional Bastards.

I know what you're thinking...great name.

The band Static X just designed a lawn mower

Yeah... you push it.

If Al Gore had a band, it'd be called...

The Algorithms.

I'm sooooooooooo sorry for this. :(

What do you call a 70's cookie band?

OREO Speedwagon

What is Jesus Christ's favorite metal band?

Nine Inch Nails

There's a band you HAVE to check out

and check out and check out and check out. They're called OCDC.

I recently met the singer of the band 4 Non Blondes

My friend asked me what I said to her

I said "Hey, what's going on"

I like to pick girls up at cover band concerts

Since I already know they're willing to settle

I used to be in a band called The Prevention

We were better then The Cure, but nobody came to see us.

I'm really pleased that our band has just signed a Jamaican triangle player.

Now every little *ting* is gonna be all right!

What's Hank Hill's favorite band?

PROPAIN!

I found a cd at a thrift store for a band actually called PROPAIN, made up this joke on the spot (maybe it's old idk) and made myself giggle, so I had to buy it, now I keep it in our minivan and break it out as my favorite dad joke whenever I have someone in it lol

Breaking: Dexter Holland from The Offspring has declared bankruptcy after pouring most of the band's savings into this week's lottery tickets.

He asked for a 13, but they drew a 31.

I heard a bunch of former soviet space engineers started an 80's cover band...

they called themselves Buran Buran

A band of adventurers accept a quest, to slay the Ork King.

Before heading out to fight the Ork King, they head to town to hire a mercenary.
The first one is a swordsman, who asks for 1000 gold to join them.
The second is an archer, who wants 2000 gold for her services.
The last one is a Spearman, who is willing to do it just for the experienc...

Did you hear about the out-of-tune Egyptian band?

They didn't have a Tutankhamun.

i was in a 3 person band called "Three-play"

It was named "Four-play", but we had to get rid of the keyboard player. He kept messing up the intro by trying to enter too early.

Me and my friends from the obsessive compulsive support group are starting a rock cover band.

We’re calling ourselves OC/DC.

A band of russian friend are in their hotel room, joking about Stalin’s regime and cracking political jokes.

Worried that they were going too far, Sasha decides to play a practical joke on his pals and lighten the mood a bit. He slips downstairs to the lobby and asks the receptionist for an orange juice to be brought to room 304.

When he comes back to the room, he tells his friends “Guys, stop playi...

I asked my daughter why Harry Styles left his band to go solo.

She said he wanted to go a different direction.

What’s a cookie’s favorite rock band?

OREO Speedwagon

A mariachi band was in a car accident..

Unfortunately some of the instruments were damaged and the band members injured. Don’t worry, they made a maracaless recovery.

Everyone in my family has become a huge fan of 80's pop band The Knack

We all have Sharona virus.

I'm in a band called The Introverted Pessimists.

You've probably never heard of us, but that's fine.

The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.

They called the song “Helen Keller”.

Courtesy of my adult daughter onto which my ‘dad humor’ has clearly rubbed off!!

Muslim Band

I went to see a Muslim Tribute band last night at a Mosque.

They were called "Bomb Jovi" and I thought they were brilliant.

They performed songs like:
"Losing my Head over You",
"Rocket Launcher Man",
"You're Six, you're Beautiful, and you're Mine".

Their la...

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Why do band members take viagra before a show?

To make them rock hard for a long time!

So after Sonic Youth broke up Thurston Moore was asked did he have any regrets when it came to the band

And he said “Yeah, 100%”

No one could remember my band name, so I decided to call it HIV

It’s pretty catchy.

Now for our next band, please welcome The Subtractions...

Now for our next Take it away, boys...

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My poem about a heavy metal band's best album is being read on British radio

ABCB on ACDC's ace CD on BBC

So an IT guy is really bad at his job and decides to quit and start a Nu Metal band.

It was named: System Always Down

Def Leopard is the safest band to air drum to while driving

Because you can keep one hand on the steering wheel.

Yeah, I know its Def Leppard, auto correct messed that up for me.

We kicked the drummer out if the band because his timing was awful.

He was so upset he went to the station and threw himself behind a train.

Once I tried to start a metal band...

...but gave up as I couldn't find a good conductor.

My disabled friend wants to be a Band-Aid for Halloween but he’s got no arms…

I don’t know how he expects to pull it off

Some men say they don’t wear their wedding band because it cuts off circulation.

I mean...that's the point, isn't it?

My Father says he was in an 80's band...

I don't believe him but he's ADAMANT (sorry, I made that up!)

Did you hear that the band U2 gave away a free concert?

Apparently, the crowd was very Pro Bono.

I work as the lead singer in a U2 tribute band that provides free performances for charities and at protests

I'm a pro bono pro Bono

(Stolen from my band teacher) I broke up with my console recently,

It’s now my ex-box. It wasn’t anything personal I just wanted a switch.

I was just on the phone with a company that said I won my choice of either $500 or tickets to see an Elvis Presley tribute band...

I had to press 1 for the money or 2 for the show!

My band has a polish sound guy

And a czech one too. A czech one too.

Trump: "Let's get that Muslim band going"

"Band? We thought you said ban"

Trump: "No way, that's harsh. Also, how's the Mexican mall going?"

I had my picture taken with the band R.E.M. once...

That's me in the corner.

What makes a great emo band?

Lots of Deep Cuts

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An upset man has filed a lawsuit against Nirvana over the band's iconic 1991 album cover.

Sounds like a baby just trying to grab some money.

Apparently Tucker Carlson is starting a new band

Rage sponsored by the machine

What is L. Ron Hubbard's favorite band?

Bad Religion.

A band was about to start a performance, when all of a sudden crazed lunatic rushed onstage, trashed all the instruments, tore everything apart, and ran off.

It was disconcerting.

Why was the band named "Books"

So no one would judge them by their covers

What do you call it when Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon band together to fix a computer?

The Greek Squad

How many musicians does it take to start a ska band?

At least 4. One to drop it, three to pick it up, pick it up, pick it up.

A Priest dies and goes to heaven. As he's approaching the gates, he hears a band of singing and dancing angels approach, and he begins to get excited.

The lead angel approaches the Priest and asks if he would mind stepping aside for a moment.

Surprised, the Priest does as he's asked.

The angels march out of the gates and encircle a man who has also approached the gates. The man is in a bus driver uniform.

The joyous parade of ...

An elastic band runs into a bank with a gun.

"Nobody move, this is a rubbery!"

Did you hear about the coniferous Ent who carried the entire E Street Band to a 13 year old Make A Wish kid?

It's all over the newspapers – "SPRUCE BRINGS TEEN CONCERT"

I was working in a record store when a gentleman asked me if we had anything from the most popular prog-rock band from Canada.

I said I'd be with him in a moment. He said "OK. No rush.".

I replied "Sorry. I can't help you then."

Aside from King Crimson, did any other seminal progressive rock bands form in London in 1968?

Yes

What's the most popular band in Chernobyl?

Fall Out Boy

What does Travis Scott and the band on the titanic have in common?

Even when people are dying the show must go on

The worst band to listen to if you have kidney problems.

The Stones.

I haven’t heard of the band: “The Rolling Stones” in a while,

I guess they went downhill

Why do married people spin their wedding band?

They are trying to figure out the combination

I finally managed to get some Cymbals for my one man band outfit

The only trouble is, now the trousers clash

Our bands bassist was always coming in late

He just couldn't get the timing right, so we kicked him out of the band. He got so depressed, he threw himself behind a bus.

What do you call a bunch of janitors who made a band?

The bleach boys.

I really thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to see a Monkees tribute band play in Switzerland.

And then I saw her face, now I’m in Geneva...

I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80's bands...

There is no cure...

A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out.

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time." Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?" ...

Just been listening to Ghislaine Maxwell's favourite band.

Scouting For Girls.

What do you call someone who plays in multiple bands?

PolyJAMorous!

I got kicked out of band camp for trying to play a guitar with a bow.

They said I violated it.

Why do Ska Bands make the best Door Dash drivers?

Because if you order food they'll *pick it up, pick it up, pick it up*.

Why did the farmer start a rock band?

Because he was tired of haulin oats

What's Santa's favourite heavy metal band?

Sleigher

My girlfriend is in a band

My girlfriend is in a band, and for our anniversary I bought her a new drum kit.

It was a cymbal of my love.

I hope this is an original joke.

What's Donald Trump's least favorite band?

Foreigner.

What is the difference between BTS and Logan Paul?

BTS is a boy band from Asia; Logan Paul is a boy banned from Asia.

Why did the African band win the battle of the bands?

They were Moroccan

What did the group of urologists name their band?

I See Pee.

My sister's band opened for the Manic Street Preachers tonight

Before their set, she said "If you tolerate this, the Manic Street Preachers will be next."

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Here's a joke told to me by my ancient high school band director in rural Oklahoma many years ago

Mr. Band Director loved to tell the story of how his ancestors came to settle in Oklahoma during the days of pioneers, covered wagons, and frequent, often bloody misunderstandings with the local natives.

One day his great-grandfather was leading the conestogas when off in the distance he hear...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Favorite bands

What’s an ornithologist’s favorite band? The Byrds

What’s a geologist’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones

What’s a herpetologist’s favorite band? The Turtles

What’s a vaccine developer’s favorite band? The Cure

What’s a pyromaniac’s favorite band? Arcade Fire

...

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What does a stripper do to her asshole before going to work?

Drops him off at band practice.

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