What does Travis Scott and the band on the titanic have in common?

Even when people are dying the show must go on

Aside from King Crimson, did any other seminal progressive rock bands form in London in 1968?

Yes

What do you get when an industrial rock band invents a gaming console?

A NINtendo

I was once in a band called "1023MB”,

I thought we had potential, but we just couldn't get a gig.

What is a 100-year-old's favorite metal band?

Age Against the Machine.

What do you call a bunch of janitors who made a band?

The bleach boys.

John manages a band where his dog plays guitar and his cat sings

Everyone is amazed. No one understands how they're doing it and it becomes a huge hit. The band travels around the country and John makes a lot of money from the band's success.

Eventually, it catches wind in Italy and Berlusconi wants to hear the band live. He invites John to Rome and he com...

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A band teacher is giving a quiz to her class where you have to guess the name of a famous song based on a clue.

She starts with the easy clues: "Comedian".

"The Entertainer!" one of the flute players says immediately.

Then the teacher goes to a slightly more difficult clue: "Metal container is able to".

"The Cancan!" a saxophone player responds instantly.

Pleased with the results s...

What is a carpenters favorite band?

Nine inch nails.

What's Gordon Ramsay's favorite band?

Rage Against the Cuisine

My friends & I just started a band called Missing Cat.

You’ve probably seen our posters around town.

What’s Sisyphus’ least favorite band?

Rolling Stones

I like to pick girls up at cover band concerts

Since I already know they're willing to settle

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Here's a joke told to me by my ancient high school band director in rural Oklahoma many years ago

Mr. Band Director loved to tell the story of how his ancestors came to settle in Oklahoma during the days of pioneers, covered wagons, and frequent, often bloody misunderstandings with the local natives.

One day his great-grandfather was leading the conestogas when off in the distance he hear...

Why did the African band win the battle of the bands?

They were Moroccan

What do you call a hentai-themed band?

My tentacle romance.

My sister's band opened for the Manic Street Preachers tonight

Before their set, she said "If you tolerate this, the Manic Street Preachers will be next."

Why did the farmer start a rock band?

Because he was tired of haulin oats

A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out.

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time." Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"<...

What did the group of urologists name their band?

I See Pee.

My friends dad went and joined the band called hinges

and they support the doors

I got kicked out of band camp for trying to play a guitar with a bow.

They said I violated it.

Did you hear about that music band formed from ex potato chip workers?

They called themselves “panic at Nabisco”

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Here's a great idea for a boyband. Go to an old age home, assemble a group of old men and give one of them Viagra. The bands name you ask?

One erection

There needs to be an all female Incubus tribute band...

... named Succubus.

Why do Ska Bands make the best Door Dash drivers?

Because if you order food they'll *pick it up, pick it up, pick it up*.

Apparently Tucker Carlson is starting a new band

Rage sponsored by the machine

3 of the 5 members of Sum 41 are currently 41 years old

Leaving an opportunity for a more accurate band name: Mode 41.

A new study indicates that listening to albums by the band Queen might be bad for your health.

They have a high Mercury content!

What is the difference between BTS and Logan Paul?

BTS is a boy band from Asia; Logan Paul is a boy banned from Asia.

There’s a new band called 1023MB.

They haven’t had any gigs yet.

I keep having flashbacks to the time I saw a K-Pop band in concert.

I think I have BTSD.

What's the one note a black metal band will never play?

Gsus.

What's a pirate's favourite 60's rock band?

C C Arrrrrrrr

Our band always gets announced last at every event we preform at, no matter where we are in the show...

Probably should not have chosen Partridge in a Pear Tree as our band name.

What is Elon Musk's favourite band?

Thirty Seconds to Mars

British teenager Emma Raducanu has just won $2.5m by winning the US open final

Sadly she needed 2 band-aids and a bandage for a cut on her leg in the last game, so she still owes about $25k

What did the jam band groupie say when she broke up with her boyfriend?

So long, and thanks for all the phish

TIL that the wife of one of the members of the band Chumbawumba had to take a brief hiatus from her breakdancing job while she was pregnant and nursing.

She got knocked up, but she got down again.

How did the musical band get into treble?

They fell off a cleff.
















no regrets

Hey have you heard of the sommeliers that formed a rock band?

They're called *Effervescence*. Their hit singles include *"My Last Breathalyzer Test"* and *"Bring Me More Wine"*. And who could forget *"Lacrymismosa"*?

Some crocodiles formed a band that does parody songs.

It's a pun croc band.

How did the worst band in the world come up with their name?

After their first gig, the crowd was shouting that they wanted their nickle back.

Def Leopard is the safest band to air drum to while driving

Because you can keep one hand on the steering wheel.

Yeah, I know its Def Leppard, auto correct messed that up for me.

I think we need to pay the band more...

Why do you say that?

Because I saw them outside all having to share the same cigarette!

I used to play triangle in a reggae band.

I would stand at the back and ting.

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A couple go out to a posh restaurant for dinner

The place is very exclusive and features also a live band playing gentle music, and fancy expensive food and wine. They settle in and order and initially the evening is fine and enjoyable.
Lady is eating duck, which can often have small bones. She doesn't notice and swallows a bite, chased with a...

I started a band called "1023 megabytes".

We still haven't got angig yet

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This woman in her late 20s decides to finally settle down and get married

Before consumating the marriage she decides to put a rubber band on her thigh.

When her man puts it in she slaps the rubber band.

The man says "what was that?"
She says "my cherry popped"

He says "can you pop it again, my balls are stuck"

Whenever the wife and I fight I sit down and watch my wedding video in reverse

I take the wedding band off her finger, hand her back to her dad and walk out of the chapel with my best mate

Robin Hood's Successor

It had been many years since Robin Hood began his quest of "stealing from the rich and giving to the poor". By now he was growing old and tired, and wanted to find someone who could carry on his legacy and lead a new band of Merry Men.

He searched through many villages for someone he could de...

Classic Rock and Roll Trivia

I learned today that 3 of the guys who performed on "Rosanna" and "Africa" also played on "Dust in the Wind". Music journalist asked them why they joined the new band and they said

"Toto? We aren't in Kansas anymore".

What is Mike Tyson’s favorite rock band?

Kith

Einstein, Hawking, Heisenberg and Schrödinger formed a band.

It's called "The Inconvenient Truths."

They play music with that old Al Gore Rhythm.

So I thought I'd start my own rock band

I wanted to call it The Rubber Band.

But I thought that was a bit of a stretch.

Did you hear about the bird that joined a reggae band?

'e was flappin' de bass mon

What's the name of the band who's music helps people sleep?

ZZZZ Top.

A band visited the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone without a guide.

Everyone suffered from radiation poisoning, except the lead guitarist.

Have you heard of a French ABBA cover band with just 3 members?

They're not any good, completely butcher the songs.

They're called ABBA Trois

I came up with a joke on Tinder. It was wasted on her.

Frodo, Sam, Pippen and Merry went to Kay's Jewellers. Frodo said to the jeweler: "We are all getting married this weekend, and we shall need 4 wedding bands!". The jeweler responded, "I'm sorry, we are almost completely sold out. The best I can offer is one ring to woo them all."

I called my home insurance company today. I asked them to insure my antique rubber band collection.

They said “that’ll be a stretch”

Two farmers each own a horse which they keep in the same field.

Each horse has a different coloured rubber band on its tail. Whenever the farmers visit, they feel carefully down the tail of each horse to find the rubber band, check the colour, and then take their horse for a ride.

This system works for many years until they arrive at the field one morning...

I really thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to see a Monkees tribute band play in Switzerland.

And then I saw her face, now I’m in Geneva...

New Band Name Idea: Suspicious Circumcision

They do mostly deep cuts.

I used to be in a ska band...

Some would say I have a checkered past.

My Father says he was in an 80's band...

I don't believe him but he's ADAMANT (sorry, I made that up!)

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A band is practicing before the concert

The vocalist stops the rehearsal and says:
\-Tell the bass player that the bass is too quiet
The band continues to pratice and suddenly the vocalist stops the rehearsal again:
\-Tell the bass player that I can't hear him
The band continues practice once more, but the vocalist rea...

Recently joined a Styx cover band

We play the same songs, but heavier. We’re called Logz.

My friends and I are starting a Cover band

We're called Saran Saran

A guy asked me if I could name a better prog-rock band than RUSH.

I said Yes.

I was at a bar once, and the band played "Jump"

.. and everyone jumped. Then the band played "Twist and Shout" and everyone twisted and shouted.

Then the band played "Come on Eileen". Poor Eileen!

What band do elderly people try to avoid?

The Strokes

What do the Apostle Paul, Bon Jovi and Manfred Mann's Earth Band all have in common?

They were all "blinded by the light"

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So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that."

So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and...

I used to be in a band called boomerang

We’re about to have a big comeback.

My family's favorite drummer jokes.

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they have machines for that now.

What did the drummer say before he was kicked out of the band?

Hey, I thought I'd share some song ideas I've written.

How do you count drummers?

1, 2 ... 1, 2, 3, 4.

Seeing how it’s saint Patrick’s day there is only one band you should listen to

Green Day

What does Cardi B say when fondly remembering the band Nirvana

Oh Kurrrt..

Banta the Furniture dealer



Banta, a furniture dealer from Ludhiana, decided to Expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Chennai to see what he could find.


After arriving in Chennai he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well Back home in Lud...

Which is an electrician favorite band ?

AC/DC

My band just decided to change our name to "ACAPELLA"...

...as we walked out of the pawn shop.

What do you call a drummer in a heavy metal band who doesn’t have a girlfriend?

Homeless

A Priest dies and goes to heaven. As he's approaching the gates, he hears a band of singing and dancing angels approach, and he begins to get excited.

The lead angel approaches the Priest and asks if he would mind stepping aside for a moment.

Surprised, the Priest does as he's asked.

The angels march out of the gates and encircle a man who has also approached the gates. The man is in a bus driver uniform.

The joyous parade of ...

During this period of the pandemic, a group of extraordinarily thin people came together to form a band.

It was a massive success. They were the best in their fields. The violin, oh so melodious! The synth on point everytime. The acoustics, superb.

One time they were offered to perform a virtual concert. All the tickets sold out.

But when the time came for them to perform, they couldn't c...

What's President Trump's new favorite band?

Air Supply

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a stripper do to her a**hole before going to work?

Drops him off at band practice

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of five park wardens decided to start a band together...

... They all agreed on playing music of a rock subgerne kind, mixed in with symphonic elements, fantasy based subject matter and strong choruses. However they could not agree on a specific aesthetic, as each one of them turned up for their first practice session with a different color scheme.
...

What is the dumbest band ever?

Moron 5.

I want to make a lord of the rings themed metal band called

Nightmare on helms deep

A Russian diplomat was visiting Washington DC

While there, he was invited to a large dinner celebration being held by members of the US government. As he entered the dining hall, he was taken aback by the decor. It was very impressive. Everyone was served fillet mignon. The plates forks and knives were real silver. A small band was playing clas...

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Billy was the first person in his small town to go to college.

After he’d been there a few weeks, he lost all his money at a fraternity card game. He thought about his options and had an idea.

His father had just written him to ask how things were going. Billy wrote back and said, “Dad, you won’t BELIEVE what they can do at this school! They can teach...

So a horse is in a farm...

A horse is in a farm when one day he finds a website that claims it can teach any farm animal music.

"That's amazing," thinks the horse "I've always wanted to learn to sing."

He signs up for the website, and within a few weeks he is an incredible singer.

Impressed, he tells his ...

What would you call a progressive rock band that plays psychedelic Spanish guitar on your front lawn?

Pink Flamenco

A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...

... thanks for every ting.

I can't believe there's a band named after diode flow...

One Direction

I had my picture taken with the band R.E.M. once...

That's me in the corner.

I'm really pleased that our band has just signed a Jamaican triangle player.

Now every little *ting* is gonna be all right!

There was a terrible mix up at the Make a Wish foundation

The band members of the Cure ending up meeting about 100 kids in one week

What's the difference between alcohol and weed?

Five drunk guys will start a fight. Five stoned guys will start a band.

I watched a UB40 tribute band called WD40.

They were a bit rusty at first, but got better as the evening went on.

What's it called when chemistry teachers share a favorite band?

A Co- Van Halen bond

Al Gore and a computer scientist started a band.

The Al Gore Rhythms

I used to be in a band named "fizzy tablet"

But we dissolved pretty quickly.

I am thinking of making a cover band of Beatles without the drums.

I would name it The Beatles with an extra 's'.

The special ed students made a metal band.

It’s called Syndrome of a Down.

TIL Out of boredom and to create more band chemistry early in their careers, the Ramones used to go on single's cruises together around New York harbour looking to pick up chicks.

They wanted to be sea dated.

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with the band Garbage.

Stupid Girl.

Paddy was at the airport going through Customs.

Customs: What have you got in those two sacks on your shoulders.?

Paddy: Oh just a lot of mobile phones.

Customs: So why so many mobile phones.?

Paddy: Well on my travels I had a call from my mate Mick,

He told me that he was starting up a Jazz Band, and could

I br...

What do you get when you cross the ultimate jam band with the ultimate cheesy arena rock band?

Phish Styx

What do you call a group of condoms who make music.

A Rubber Band.

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NSFW: The Monkey and the Lion

There was a problem amongst the denizens of the jungle.

A monkey had recently been fucking all the different animals in the jungle against their will, save for the lions, as they are at the top of the food chain. Literally all the different animals had fallen victim to the monkey; he was ind...

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Al Gore is in the wrong line of work

Some people's names match their careers surprisingly well. Imagine a psychic named Krystal Ball or a stylist named Barbera Cutter.

But Al Gore is a failure in this regard. He had the perfect opportunity to start a math rock band in the 80s or 90s and just chose to not. It should have been fa...

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The Tale of the Animal Band

So there was this horse, and recently he had gone through some tough times. His wife left him, he lost his job, and rent day was coming ever closer. This is when he had a brainwave: He was going to get his childhood band back together. So the first member to convince was the cow. Now the cow was pre...

if you replace all the members of a band one by one over time is it still the same band ?

Yes

Going to the local tattoo shop to get a realistic tattoo of a band aid on my elbow.

I'm just hoping that they can pull it off!

One of my band members asked why I was using such a thin plectrum...

I told him it was slim pickin’s at the music shop.

Did you hear about the one man band on the New York subway?

Probably not, he's an underground artist

A middle school band director named Joe is having trouble instructing his students to play their instruments.

One girl is being extremely difficult and cannot play the flute to save her life. Finally he walks over to her and hits her in the head with her flute, killing her. She dies instantly and he is sentenced to death by electrocution. The warden asks what he would like his last meal to be. Joe says "I'd...

What's a Ferengi's least favourite band?

The lost prophets

My Grandfather really liked Fall Out Boy

I never understood why, considering the age gap between him and the band. Every week, I’d go sit with him on his porch and we’d listen to the band, jamming out to some sick tunes and laughing our hearts out at each other’s awful singing. Unfortunately as time passed, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’...

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A struggling rock band...

A struggling indies band from Brooklyn, The Spoonerists, was in the process of recording their debut album. The artistic sentiment of the group led them to use ambient sounds from nature in their arrangements. One of the members of the band took it upon himself to go out in to the field and make rec...

Excuse me, did anyone lose a large roll of 20 dollar bills in a rubber band?

Because I found the 20 dollar bills...

What band is most appropriate in an office setting?

A rubber band.

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