I used to be in a band called "The Hinges"

We opened for The Doors

I'm in a band called 1023 MB

We haven't had a gig yet

I was in a punk band in the 80s called Missing Cat.

You might remember our flyers

A group of scientists start a band. What's it called?

Ion Maiden

A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out.

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time." Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?" ...

I’ve been diagnosed with a rare form of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80’s bands

There is no cure

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If I had a band

If I ever started a band I'd vote to name it something like "dicks in the ass" so when it was brought up in conversation, it would go something like this:

Person 1: Dude! I heard this awesome song yesterday!

Person 2: Oh yeah? Who wrote it?!

Person 1: Dicks in the ass

P...

Why did the chicken cross the mobius band?

To get to the same side.

Have you heard about the band 999MB?

They haven't gotten a gig yet.



Edit to clarify: There are two systems. More people know about the one wherein 1024MB = 1GB. However, the IEC proposed a new one where 1000MB = 1GB. This change isn't well known, but it is more accurate. Sorry for the confusion!

I was at a bar once, and the band played "Jump"

.. and everyone jumped. Then the band played "Twist and Shout" and everyone twisted and shouted.

Then the band played "Come on Eileen". Poor Eileen!

I've started playing the triangle in a reggae band

I stand at the back and ting

I started the biggest rock band in the galaxy.

We're called the Asteroid Belt.

My friend and I were backstage with band U2 and two other people.

I said “hey look, I’m here with u2, you two, and you too!”

A middle school band director named Joe is having trouble instructing his students to play their instruments.

One girl is being extremely difficult and cannot play the flute to save her life. Finally he walks over to her and hits her in the head with her flute, killing her. She dies instantly and he is sentenced to death by electrocution. The warden asks what he would like his last meal to be. Joe says "I'd...

I started a band called 999 Megabytes

Still haven't gotten a gig yet.

How come U2 band members still haven't found what they're looking for?

Because the streets have no names!

I counted 1500 lockdown protesters in our city.

Hold on, it's 900.

Edit: No, wait, it's 500.

What 80's band does the entire world want playing right now?

The Cure

What's the most important part of a heavy metal band?

The lead singer.

The band members of Foreigner have been in quarantine since this pandemic started

They have fevers of 103F

My friend's hobbies include photography and playing in an 80's band. He's a lot like a tree in that way

they both like to photo synthesize

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A band needs a new member

A guy shows up and says "fuck black people."

They look at him shocked, and he goes on to say "Asians suck too."

They're gobsmacked, and then he says "don't even get me started on Mexicans."

Finally, the lead singer says to him "the ad was for a *bassist*."

Why is it so hard to find the world's best tribute band?

Because they cover their tracks so well

I don't know who won the battle of the bands but I know who lost

The audience

I had my picture taken with the band R.E.M. once...

That's me in the corner.

What was the Luddite's favorite band?

Rage Against the Machine.

I'm really pleased that our band has just signed a Jamaican triangle player.

Now every little *ting* is gonna be all right!

In a small American town, a band of squirrels had become quite a problem.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist church the squirrels had tak...

Harry, Ron, Fred and George started a boy band together called...

Wand Erection

What do you call a 90s boy band playing long pieces of classical music on a cello?

The Bach suite boys

(This is _very_ highbrow so don’t feel stupid if you don’t get it)

Who’s your favourite Christian rock band?

Mines psalm 41

What’s a Mexicans favorite band?

Hispanic at the Disco!

What did Al Gores name his electric band?

The Algorithm

I like to pick up women at Cover Band concerts.

Since I already know they are willing to settle.

A band’s drummer dies suddenly

So the band has to audition for new drummers. They interview a bunch of people, and they decide to play a gig with the best one that night to see if he'll work out. It goes great, except after every song, the new drummer says something like "You gotta brush your teeth or else you'll get gum diease...

I showed my band the lyrics I composed and they said I should be a poet

Poet, fireman, accountant, anything but lyricist.

I'm starting a Christmas themed thrash band.

Thinking of calling it Sleigher.

Did someone lose a roll of 20 dollar bills wrapped in a rubber band?

Cause' I found the rubber band

I know a friend who plays in a band...

He is saxually active.

I was attacked by a band of flying nuns.

It was a total Cloisterflock.

I'm thinking about starting up a neurodivergent, mermaid-themed parody band of AC/DC. It's gonna be called

OCD Sea

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An old "sound guy" joke: What's the difference between a bull and a blues band?

With a bull, you get the horns in the front and the asshole in the back!

So I started this new underwater band-project

I hope you guys like aquapella!

Who is the most popular band on earth right now?

Widespread Panic.

Which band had a hit single with “Jive Talkin’”?

A) Gees


B) Gees


C) Gees


D) Gees

My friends and I started a band called Duvet recently

We only do covers.

I don’t understand all this hate towards the police...

...I mean they’re an amazing band.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there’s this farm. On this farm, there’s a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

So there’s this farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the ...

What's the most popular band in China?

The Wuhan Clan.

If reddit had a favorite band, who would it be?

Radiohead, because they are the Karma police.

I was in a band in the 90's called "Homeopathy"

We were a bit like Placebo but not as good.
Once we played at a festival, a bit unsuccessful because most of the crowd left to see the Cure instead.

What do Kobe Bryant and the marshal Tucker band have in common?

Their last big hit was fire on the mountain.

I'm putting together a Christian Metallica all puppet cover band.

Gonna call it Pastor of Muppets

TIL the band, the B52's, are huge Shaquille O'Neal fans.

It turns out they love Shaq

Me and my friend are going to form a band called 'the duvets'

Mainly going to be a cover band

I listen to a band named Magma

It's pretty underground

Did you hear that Mozzarella joined a band?

It’s a string band and he shreds on the grateir.

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What do you get when you fuck a group of musicians?

Band aids

I met a woman who said she was a huge Monkees fan

She told me she had collected every piece of merchandise ever made for the band. I was skeptical.

Then I saw her place...

The band A Flock of Seagulls is not concerned with WWIII. They've stated that conflicts typically happen with neighboring countries.

And Iraaaaan...Iran's so far awaaaay....

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Ok so a horse is watchin MTV

The horse is seeing a rock band and thinks "hey I could do that." The horse calls up guitar center and is like "hey I wanna learn guitar, just one problem, I'm a horse." The employee says "don't worry we can do that." The horse goes, learns guitar for a few months, gets really good, and is pretty ha...

After starting the Lonely Hearts Club Band and getting honorably discharged, Sgt. Pepper did the one thing he always wanted to do...

Get a doctorate.

What did the Janitor call his safety warning inspired metal band?

Slip not.

A band should name themselves "rubber"

So they'll be known as the rubber band.

Why does my printer want to join a band?

It always loves to jam

What's an ancient pyramids builders favourite band?

The rolling stones

I heard Usain Bolt is joining a band

Turbonegro

I used to play the triangle in a Reggae band but I left

It was just one ting after another

(Only percussionists would get this) I play mallets in band class, and so periodically my teacher would see how I was doing.

I always pass the vibe check.

I’ll leave now.

The band 4 Non Blondes changed their name to 3 Non Blondes...

Because the 4th one dyed.

What is Santa’s favorite band?

Sled Zeppelin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horse wants to start a band

A horse wants to start a band. However, he can’t sing; So he goes to a vet.



He asks the vet, “Can you give me vocal cords so I can sing?” The vet agrees and gives the horse vocal cords.

A chicken sees this and wants to join the band, so he asks the vet, “can you give me lips so...

I'm in a Medieval-themed metal band

We're called "Bards of Prey."

Our band

I used to be in a band, we were called ‘Lost dog’.

You’ve probably seen our posters...

What do you call a band that has to make everything perfectly?

OCDC

Why did the band kid get arrested?

He carried a sharp instrument into school!

The singer from the band Train has zero siblings.

Strike that, he has one sole sister

Have you heard of that new band “1023 Megabytes”?

They’re pretty good, but they don’t have a gig just yet!

Who's that band?

A little bar in a small town was having a concert night and most of the town showed up. They were curious to see who in this town of everyone-knows-everyone would go up and perform.

The barman introduced up on stage a couple of highschool kids, the Little Rascals, that were going through the...

I'm starting a band who will sing songs in the style of Boy George that publicly shame bad behavior and call for boycotts of questionable opinions...

...It's called Cancel Culture Club.

We kicked the drummer out if the band because his timing was awful.

He was so upset he went to the station and threw himself behind a train.

What's the Hong Kong police's favorite band?

The Beatles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Japanese Psychologist name his progressive rock band?

Pink Freud

Have u heard of the band 999mb?

No? Well it's probably cause they haven't had a gig yet.

Whats a Christian Band's favorite chord?

Gsus

What music band is the least popular around Halloween?

The Smashing Pumpkins

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the favorite band of Japanese fishermen?

Bob Marley and the Whalers.

I like bands that are named for their lead singer.

You know, like Alice Cooper and Tool.

What's Hillary Clinton's favorite metal band?

*Suicide Silence*

I’m thinking of starting a band with some guys I met online

We’re gonna call ourselves LinkedIn Park

I'm thinking of creating a new heavy metal band.

Osmium should do it.

I Want to Make a Band called Mashed Potatoes

Then go on an Ultimate Tour with Meatloaf, Korn, Bread, Red hot Chilie Peppers, Salt-N-Pepa, The Cranberries, The Black Eyed Peas, Orange Juice, Ice Cube and Cake!

*I know a few are dead and some of them suck but I tried damn it, lol

A man is being interviewed for a job (Long)

-What do you drive right now sir?

-An old food truck

-Well, if you are hired here you'll be driving a brand new BMW; Now, where do you live?

-In an old house in a dangerouse part of the city

-Well, if you are hired here, you would be livin in a three story mansion in the ...

What’s California’s favorite band?

Earth Wind and Fire.

What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?

It's either my way or Norway!

What band do Anti-vaxxers refuse to listen too?

The Cure.

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