We kicked the drummer out if the band because his timing was awful.

He was so upset he went to the station and threw himself behind a train.

I had a band called 999 Megabytes and I thought we we're pretty good

But we didn't get any gigs

What do you call a band of owls?

The Hoo

What's Indiana Jones least favorite band?

The Rolling Stones

What's a anti-vaxxers favorite band?

Evan's Essence

What was the last thing the drummer said to the band?

Listen to this guys I wrote us a song.


-curtesy of Dave Grohl

I tried to get a job as a professional band aid remover.

But I couldn’t pull it off.

A fisherman was kicked out of his band.

They didn’t like the way he was slappin the bass.

AC/DC are the most electrifying band

It's amazing how they always adapt to each other

What do you call a math-rock band about climate change?

The Al-Gore-Rythms!

You think people in bands are cool?

Imagine Dragons

A man walks into a bar and notices a live band is playing...

A man walks into a bar and notices a live band is playing. After watching them for a bit he leans over to the bartender and says, "Hey, these guys are pretty good, but I can't help noticing the drummer keeps swinging at air with his drumsticks. Why is he doing that?"

The bartender responds "Y...

I had a band I'd call them "Prevention"

At least we'd always be better than The Cure.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rock band was booed by the crowd.

The drum player and the bass player drink in a bar, depressed as fuck, trying to figure out what went wrong.
'It's probably the stage sound', the bass player suggests. 'That engineer can't mix shit in a bowl, let alone sound.'
'Come on, we've had worse. At least the monitors were working.'...

How did the band One Direction get it's name?

Because when they're running the trainbang they're all facing... one direction.

Where would you rate Smashing Pumpkins in your top 90's bands?

For me, I'd rate them Less than Jake but Better than Ezra.

How can you tell when you've found a really good rock n roll band in Minnesota?





They have two accordions

After stating that AC/DC was the best 80's band, my dad got mad and said, "What do you know about the 80's? I bet you don't even know who Whitesnake is!"

I just rolled my eyes and said "ugh, Here I go again!"


Happy father's day!

I've always wondered about the inspiration for the band name Jefferson Airplane

but I think we all know it's a historical reference by now.

I noticed that people under the age of 20 are strongly gravitating towards 60s classic rock by well-known bands, such as The Who.

I'm not trying to cause a big sensation, I'm just talking 'bout my generation.

What band do Anti-vaxxers refuse to listen too?

The Cure.

I asked Princess Leia for a list of her favorite bands...

It's Alderaan Duran

My friend asked me who was the first band to start smashing guitars.

Impressed, I told him he was right.

A band's drummer suddenly dies

So the band has to audition for new drummers. They interview a bunch of people, and they decide to play a gig with the best one that night to see if he'll work out.


It goes great, except after every song, the new drummer says something like "You gotta brush your teeth or else you'll get g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’ve been thinking recently if the bands Toto, Tommy lee and Marvin Gaye firmed a band it would be

Toto lee Gaye

I lost my rubber band ball earlier...

I still haven't bounced back :(

What did the band students do when their teacher died?

They played F to pay respects.

I used to play the triangle in a reggae band

It was a pretty sweet gig, all i did was stand in the back and ting.

My band name is Good Question.

For example:
“What’s your band name?”
“Good Question”

How do Led Zeppelin band members announce that they're climaxing?

Valhalla, I am coming!

I used to listen to the band Staind all the time...

But...its been a while

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a band conductor who also right songs in North Korea

Sorry for the typo in the title but..

His name was Pok. He was quite famous in the industry so one day, Kim Jong Un approached him.

“Pok, write me an orchestra piece and play it for me with your group”, said Kim. Pok did, after a month, the private show was held.

Sadly, it was s...

When I was in band, there was this one drummer who just kept on swearing...

... they were always per-cussin'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the new Japanese rock band?

Of Rice and Yen

I really like the band Depeche Mode.

I just can't get enough.

A new emerging rock band is having its first concert

To be sure that everything goes perfectly the group's manager decides to invite a well known concert critic: If he decided to come and the concert went well, that would've been their occasion to take off in the world of music

Incredibly the critic accepts their offering and is present in his ...

What's a moths favourite band?

Mothley crue

I was in a band called Dark Web.

We was always on tor.

I'm part of a big band group called The Megabytes.

Our thousandth member recently joined, finally readying us for our debut live performance.

It'll be our first gig.

Two new recruits were on the deck of a ship.

One turns to other and says, "Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. Isn't it?"

Other recruit replies, "Everyone must be watching the band."

"There is no band on this ship."

"No, I definitely heard the captain say, a band on ship."

[Political] What's a pro-choicer's favorite metal band?

Dying Fetus

What was Jesus's least favorite band?

Nine Inch Nails.

What is Dumbo's least favorite band?

>!Cage the Elephants!<

I bought a 2000's Boy band online for only five cents, but it never came in the mail.

I want my Nickelback

A pony just won my town's battle of the bands.

He was a rockin' horse.

So there was an angry band director...

His band wasn’t super good, but they managed. One day, they were rehearsing, when a flute player messes up a part. They keep messing it up, and he gets so frustrated he stabs the flautist to death with his baton.
He goes to prison, and gets sentenced to death by electric chair. Before he goes in...

I got fired from the rubber band factory yesterday...

My first thought was "Oh snap!"



(Again from my son)

I had a couple bad dreams last night about a Korean Boy Band

I think I might have BTSD

Why should every band have a manager?

Because managers can offer sound advice.

What do you call a mariachi band with one member?

A Juan man band.

What is a Jehovahs Witness favorite band?

The Doors

Did you hear about the Mexican emo band?

They're called 'Hispanic at the Disco'

What is a vampire’s favorite band?

Type O Negative

So a horse wants to start a band...

The horse needs some of his friend from the farm to help him out so they can become a band.

First he needs a guitarist, and who better than his friend chicken who played guitar for 3 years. He asks chicken if he wants to join and he agrees.

Next he needs a drummer, so horse thought a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My band is hosting a benefit concert for women with no legs.

The place will be crawling with pussy.

Has anybody lost a large roll of 20 dollar bills in a rubber band?

Because we found the rubber band.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Nazi leader who only listens to obscure bands?

Adolf Hipster

Band most likely to be blasted out of the speakers at your local beehive?

Pollen Oates

A band of adventurers accept a quest, to slay the Ork King.

Before heading out to fight the Ork King, they head to town to hire a mercenary.
The first one is a swordsman, who asks for 1000 gold to join them.
The second is an archer, who wants 2000 gold for her services.
The last one is a Spearman, who is willing to do it just for the experienc...

TIL Charles XII once had an affair, about which Sabaton will be releasing a new single to celebrate the 20 years the band has been together

Its called Carolus' ex

I thought up a good band name last night. Hillary and the Emails.

Would be HYUUUGE in 48% of the US.

Have you ever heard the band 1023MB?

Probably not, they've never made a gig.

Did you hear about the guy who got an award for taking down a thrash band selling drugs?

He got a metal mettle medal for metal meddle.

My friend once showed me a picture of a band of what he called "ogres"

I told him that they definitely weren't ogres, but They Might Be Giants.

Everyone in our band has obsessive-complulsive disorder.

We're called "OC/DC."

Why are band and orchestra rated R?

All the sax and violins

I'm starting an all-male cross-dressing dixie chicks tribute band

I'm calling it chicks with dixies

A bus carrying a jazz band has broke down on the highway

Witnesses are reporting a massive jam

What is Elon Musk's favorite band?

30 Seconds to Mars

What do you call a band with high level of sugar?

The Diabeatels

Progressive rock bands probably hate today.

Because it's 4/4.

I was listening to Uncertain Smile from The The. Man, I love that band...

...They are the genuine article.

What is President Trump's least favorite rock band?

Foreigner.

TIL Christian bands have a favourite chord.

G sus

Why is “1024 MB” the best name for a band?

You’ve always got a gig.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a bull and a band that plays at weddings?

On the bull, the horns are in front and the asshole is in the back.

What is a kid with asthma's favorite band?

Weezer

Soviet Russia used to have a leader who was also a singer in a rock band.

He's none other than John Lenin.

What is R. Kelly’s favorite band?

Alice In Chains.

What is the band “Foreigner’s” favourite car to drive?

4 -Runner

I've been recently obsessed with the band Fish

They're having a few shows, I'm hoping to catch a live one!

Why did Martha pull her kids out of band class?

Too much Sax and Violins.

If you wanna find the band Smash Mouth in the Bible,

Just open your Bible to Psalm... BODY ONCE TOLD ME

I was in a band with a group of anti vaxxers.

We didn't live long enough to become popular.

When my wife and I argue, we’re like a band in concert

we start with some new stuff, and then we roll out our greatest hits

Did you hear the largest rubber band ball has 200 Million rubber bands?

I think it’s a bit of a stretch.

Why was the band teacher arrested?

Because he fingered a minor.

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