What do you call a band that has to make everything perfectly?

OCDC

Me and my friend are going to form a band called 'the duvets'

Mainly going to be a cover band

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A black man goes to a concert and gets shot. What band did he go see?

The Police.

Did you hear about the band called 1023 MB?

They haven't had any Gigs yet

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A horse wants to start a band

A horse wants to start a band. However, he can’t sing; So he goes to a vet.



He asks the vet, “Can you give me vocal cords so I can sing?” The vet agrees and gives the horse vocal cords.

A chicken sees this and wants to join the band, so he asks the vet, “can you give me lips so...

What's an ancient pyramids builders favourite band?

The rolling stones

The band 4 Non Blondes changed their name to 3 Non Blondes...

Because the 4th one dyed.

What did the band director do to the kid who played in A minor?

He had him arrested.

Who's that band?

A little bar in a small town was having a concert night and most of the town showed up. They were curious to see who in this town of everyone-knows-everyone would go up and perform.

The barman introduced up on stage a couple of highschool kids, the Little Rascals, that were going through the...

My friend is in a band called 1023 megabytes

They dont have a gig yet tho

Have u heard of the band 999mb?

No? Well it's probably cause they haven't had a gig yet.

I used to play the triangle in a reggae band, but I left...

Because it was always just one ting after another

Whats a Christian Band's favorite chord?

Gsus

Our band

I used to be in a band, we were called ‘Lost dog’.

You’ve probably seen our posters...

Why did the band kid get arrested?

He carried a sharp instrument into school!

What's Hillary Clinton's favorite metal band?

*Suicide Silence*

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What is the favorite band of Japanese fishermen?

Bob Marley and the Whalers.

I'm thinking of creating a new heavy metal band.

Osmium should do it.

What did the Irish fraudsters call their band?

Shamrock.

I’m thinking of starting a band with some guys I met online

We’re gonna call ourselves LinkedIn Park

What’s California’s favorite band?

Earth Wind and Fire.

Why did the farmer start a punk rock band?

Because he was tired of haulin' oats

Why did they ask the turkey to join the band?

Because He had the drum sticks.

I was in a band during the 80s called The Prevention.

We were better than the Cure.

The band U2 went to the premiere of the new Mr. Rogers film...

...because it’s a Beautiful Day in the neighborhood.

What is Trumps least favorite band?

Foreigner.

Why did the band Sepultura have to go to the hairdressers?

Because you could see their roots, bloody roots.

Did you hear about the drummer that got kicked out of his band for having horrible timing?

He got so depressed that he threw himself behind a speeding bus!

What rock band is the neatest?

OC/DC

What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?

It's either my way or Norway!

I used to be in a one man band once.....

but I split up due to musical differences. :(

I just got a new dual-band wireless router, but I'm not sure if it's working or not.

It's giving me mixed signals.

It was reported some of the bands performing tonight like to hide drugs in there drums.

But don't worry, we've taken the proper percussions

I named my band "Band"

Because we're never allowed back anywhere.

How many people does it take to start a K-Pop band?

Just one korean and a really good stylist

I Want to Make a Band called Mashed Potatoes

Then go on an Ultimate Tour with Meatloaf, Korn, Bread, Red hot Chilie Peppers, Salt-N-Pepa, The Cranberries, The Black Eyed Peas, Orange Juice, Ice Cube and Cake!

*I know a few are dead and some of them suck but I tried damn it, lol

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A man walks into a bar...

then goes to the bathroom. He comes out, goes to the bartender. He says “you’ve got a great place, but my buddy was here last night, and he said you have golden urinals. Where are they?” The bartender turns to the band and yells, “Frank, I’ve got a lead on the guy who pissed in your sax!”

What was the last thing the drummer said to the band?

Listen to this guys I wrote us a song.


-curtesy of Dave Grohl

I’ve opened up a gym helping ageing rock bands get back into shape. It’s going okay so far...

Just working out the Kinks.

I tried to get a job as a professional band aid remover.

But I couldn’t pull it off.

What’s an anti-vaxxer’s least favourite band?

The Vaccines.

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(Nsfw) The lone ranger and Tonto are travelling when they are captured by a band of outlaws

They bury the Lone ranger up to his neck in the dirt. The outlaws ask the lone ranger if he has any last requests before they leave him to die.


"Yes I do, tonto come here a moment"


Tonto comes over and the lone ranger whispers something in his ear. Suddenly tonto makes a run f...

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A rock band was booed by the crowd.

The drum player and the bass player drink in a bar, depressed as fuck, trying to figure out what went wrong.
'It's probably the stage sound', the bass player suggests. 'That engineer can't mix shit in a bowl, let alone sound.'
'Come on, we've had worse. At least the monitors were working.'...

A man walks into a bar and notices a live band is playing...

A man walks into a bar and notices a live band is playing. After watching them for a bit he leans over to the bartender and says, "Hey, these guys are pretty good, but I can't help noticing the drummer keeps swinging at air with his drumsticks. Why is he doing that?"

The bartender responds "Y...

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A fisherman was kicked out of his band.

They didn’t like the way he was slappin the bass.

How did the band One Direction get it's name?

Because when they're running the trainbang they're all facing... one direction.

I asked Princess Leia for a list of her favorite bands...

It's Alderaan Duran

I lost my rubber band ball earlier...

I still haven't bounced back :(

What band do Anti-vaxxers refuse to listen too?

The Cure.

I had a band I'd call them "Prevention"

At least we'd always be better than The Cure.

AC/DC are the most electrifying band

It's amazing how they always adapt to each other

After stating that AC/DC was the best 80's band, my dad got mad and said, "What do you know about the 80's? I bet you don't even know who Whitesnake is!"

I just rolled my eyes and said "ugh, Here I go again!"


Happy father's day!

How can you tell when you've found a really good rock n roll band in Minnesota?





They have two accordions

I noticed that people under the age of 20 are strongly gravitating towards 60s classic rock by well-known bands, such as The Who.

I'm not trying to cause a big sensation, I'm just talking 'bout my generation.

My friend asked me who was the first band to start smashing guitars.

Impressed, I told him he was right.

I've always wondered about the inspiration for the band name Jefferson Airplane

but I think we all know it's a historical reference by now.

What do you call a math-rock band about climate change?

The Al-Gore-Rythms!

A band's drummer suddenly dies

So the band has to audition for new drummers. They interview a bunch of people, and they decide to play a gig with the best one that night to see if he'll work out.


It goes great, except after every song, the new drummer says something like "You gotta brush your teeth or else you'll get g...

What did the band students do when their teacher died?

They played F to pay respects.

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I’ve been thinking recently if the bands Toto, Tommy lee and Marvin Gaye firmed a band it would be

Toto lee Gaye

I was in a band called Dark Web.

We was always on tor.

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There was a band conductor who also right songs in North Korea

Sorry for the typo in the title but..

His name was Pok. He was quite famous in the industry so one day, Kim Jong Un approached him.

“Pok, write me an orchestra piece and play it for me with your group”, said Kim. Pok did, after a month, the private show was held.

Sadly, it was s...

Where would you rate Smashing Pumpkins in your top 90's bands?

For me, I'd rate them Less than Jake but Better than Ezra.

I used to listen to the band Staind all the time...

But...its been a while

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So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that."

So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and...

I'm part of a big band group called The Megabytes.

Our thousandth member recently joined, finally readying us for our debut live performance.

It'll be our first gig.

My band name is Good Question.

For example:
“What’s your band name?”
“Good Question”

How do Led Zeppelin band members announce that they're climaxing?

Valhalla, I am coming!

When I was in band, there was this one drummer who just kept on swearing...

... they were always per-cussin'.

There was once a billionaire philanthropist with a curious idea....

"What would happen if he gave modern musical instruments to tribal people who have never been in contact with the outer world? He decided to do just that, and to return after 10 years. The tribesmen were given an electric guitar, bass, a drum kit, digital keys, everything needed to make music with o...

A new emerging rock band is having its first concert

To be sure that everything goes perfectly the group's manager decides to invite a well known concert critic: If he decided to come and the concert went well, that would've been their occasion to take off in the world of music

Incredibly the critic accepts their offering and is present in his ...

A band of adventurers accept a quest, to slay the Ork King.

Before heading out to fight the Ork King, they head to town to hire a mercenary.
The first one is a swordsman, who asks for 1000 gold to join them.
The second is an archer, who wants 2000 gold for her services.
The last one is a Spearman, who is willing to do it just for the experienc...

I really like the band Depeche Mode.

I just can't get enough.

Why don't they have music classes in Chinese schools?

Because it teaches kids to play band music.

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Did you hear about the new Japanese rock band?

Of Rice and Yen

What was Jesus's least favorite band?

Nine Inch Nails.

A group of adventurers on Mount Everest have banded together to clean up the stuff left behind by past expeditions. It will likely take them at least 3 years.

More if there are any vegetarians. Less if they develop a taste for freezer burned meat.

So there was an angry band director...

His band wasn’t super good, but they managed. One day, they were rehearsing, when a flute player messes up a part. They keep messing it up, and he gets so frustrated he stabs the flautist to death with his baton.
He goes to prison, and gets sentenced to death by electric chair. Before he goes in...

I bought a 2000's Boy band online for only five cents, but it never came in the mail.

I want my Nickelback

I got fired from the rubber band factory yesterday...

My first thought was "Oh snap!"



(Again from my son)

What is Dumbo's least favorite band?

>!Cage the Elephants!<

Why the long face?

There’s a horse in middle school, he doesn’t really have anything going for him, he’s watching MTV, sees jimmy hendrix playing, wants to be like him, asks his parents for a guitar, they deliberate but then give him one, he plays, gets really good, then gives up
Few years later, he’s in high schoo...

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My band is hosting a benefit concert for women with no legs.

The place will be crawling with pussy.

Why are band and orchestra rated R?

All the sax and violins

Has anybody lost a large roll of 20 dollar bills in a rubber band?

Because we found the rubber band.

Everyone in our band has obsessive-complulsive disorder.

We're called "OC/DC."

What does a ska band do with their gear after a gig?

Pack it up pack it up pack it

Band most likely to be blasted out of the speakers at your local beehive?

Pollen Oates

What is a Jehovahs Witness favorite band?

The Doors

What do you call a mariachi band with one member?

A Juan man band.

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What do you call a Nazi leader who only listens to obscure bands?

Adolf Hipster

I had a couple bad dreams last night about a Korean Boy Band

I think I might have BTSD

So a horse wants to start a band...

The horse needs some of his friend from the farm to help him out so they can become a band.

First he needs a guitarist, and who better than his friend chicken who played guitar for 3 years. He asks chicken if he wants to join and he agrees.

Next he needs a drummer, so horse thought a...

A group of chess-playing fanatics would gather each day in the hotel lobby to brag about their greatest victories.

There came a day when the hotel manager barred the group from the lobby because he couldn't stand to listen to a band of chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Why should every band have a manager?

Because managers can offer sound advice.

I saw a dubstep/ska band the other day

First the drop the bass and then they pickituppickituppickitup

Have you ever heard the band 1023MB?

Probably not, they've never made a gig.

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