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Song Jokes

Avril Lavigne could have just called her song Skater boy instead of Sk8er Boi.

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

The Omicron Variant is like a Katy Perry song.

Mild but pretty catchy.

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Why didn't Joe Exotic ever release any Christmas songs?

Because he fucking hates Carols.

The first song from my new group, The Palindromes, is called...

If I Had A Hi-Fi

The teacher asked little Johnny if he could write a song using the words “analyze” and “anatomy”

This was Johnny’s response:

My analyze over the ocean
My analyze over the sea
My analyze over the ocean
Oh bring back my anatomy!

I just got married but I’m not feeling great about it. For our “first dance” my wife choose the song:…

…”I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.”

What is a phlebotomist’s favorite song?

“You’re So Vein.”

What song is played in museums?

U Can’t Touch This

I hate it when you get a Cranberries song stuck in your head...

.. In your head

In your head.

In your head.

What's Cookie Monster's favourite Pink Floyd song?

Comfortably Nom nom nom nom.

Why won't you ever hear the song Walking on Sunshine in New Orleans

For the locals, Katrina and the Waves was not a good time

Little known fact: Billy Joel's song "Piano Man"

Is about a man who was bitten by a radioactive piano.

I love how Pit Bull announces himself at the beginning of every song

giving us time to change the song.

What's a cow's favourite Beatles song?

Hay Chewed

Niece asked me to check out her latest KPOP song

Told her i'm not that into Seoul music.

I think "Scarborough Fair" is Simon & Garfunkel's most haunting song

To this day, I still wonder, "*Did* Parsley save Rosemary in time?"

Two recovering alcoholics decided to write a song together...

but they couldn't get past the first two bars.

Did you know Mortal Kombat was based on an old Scandinavian song?

A Finnish hymn.

Some poor children in Victorian London were listening to Christmas songs

They heard that Santa Claus gives coal to children who aren´t on his nice list, and so they commit as many petty crimes as possible to be on his naughty list so as to not die of hypothermia.

What Christmas song do they sing in the psychiatric hospital?

Do you see what I see?

My life is just like Rihanna's new song.

Work work work work work and the rest I can't really understand!

TIL that for release in Finland, the original Mortal Kombat had to be censored in an unusual way. Censors were fine with the gore, but insisted the music be replaced with traditional Christian songs.

FINNISH HYMN!!!

What is Otto von Bismarck's favourite Queen song?

Under Prussia.

What is Charon’s favorite song?

Come Sail Away by Styx

Have you heard the song about the pork sausage?

It's a banger.

I write songs about sewing machines

I'm a Singer Songwriter

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I hate it when I am singing a song...

And the artits gets the words wrong, felt like it was being revised.

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How do you make it so no one gets offended at the Christmas song "Baby It's Cold Outside"?

Rebrand it as a rap song and name it, "Yo Bitch, It's Freezing Outside."

What is Robespierre’s favorite song?

“Heads Will Roll”.

Why are Taylor Swift's songs always a hit? (WARNING POKEMON JOKE)

Because swift never misses.

What's a shirt's favorite song?

Fleece Navidad

My 8 year old nephew told me this today.

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80% of people masturbate in the shower, the rest sings a very specific song. Do you know what song that is?

No? Then I know what you’re doing in the shower

Millennial old folks homes are gonna be awesome!

LAN parties, DnD nights, wheelchair races, having awesome songs from the 2000's as our golden oldies! It'll be great, especially if we can line up our work schedules!

Why did it seem like everyone either loved or hated the song “Let It Go” from Frozen?

It was polarizing

No one is allowed to congregate for funerals; instead, people drive by the cemetery and honk their horns in respect. One man drives by blasting “Another One Bites The Dust”

The family wanted to be mad, but then another car drove by playing the same song, and another one does, and another one does, and another one drives a bus.

Where does Phil Collins record his songs

The stu-stu-studio

You know what's the favourite holiday song in Wales?

All I Want For Christmas is Ewe

What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's favourite song?

Higher ground by Red Hot Chili Peppers

What’s a pirate’s favorite Beatles song?

“Blackbeard singing in the dead of night…”

Want to know Quasimodo’s favorite Christmas song?

Jingle bells!

I wrote a song about a sandwich

Well it’s more of a wrap really

What is a baker’s favorite song by “The Cars”?

“Just What I Kneaded”

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A fancy restaurant is hiring a new pianist

A guy called John comes in and says "Hi there, I'm here about the pianist position."

The manager replies "That's fantastic, do you mind sitting at the piano and showing me what you can do?"

So John sits at the piano and starts to play one of the most beautiful songs the manager has ev...

In what order do you play Classical Music Songs?

Bach to Bach.

What is a carnivore's favorite Elvis song?

Love Meat Tender

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a good one from my dad

A guitar player walks into a bar trying to score a gig.
He meets with the bar owner for his audition, and proceeds to play a beautiful melodic song.

"Wow!" Said the owner, "that was amazing! Whats it called?"

"Its called 'You're slapping my wifes titties with a belt'" replies the gu...

What bird never sings the lyrics to a song?

A hummingbird.

What's Putin's favorite Beatles song?

Back in the USSR

The greatest ever song about tortoises was recorded 40 years ago this year...

... "Turtle Eclipse of the Heart".

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If you only had one beer, you’re not an alcoholic. If you make one song on SoundCloud, you’re not a rapper.

But I have sex with one guy and now I’m gay?

What happens when you play a country song in reverse?

The singer gets his dog, home and wife back.

What's Little Bo Peep's favorite song?

Never Gonna Give "Ewe" Up

A Danish person will not be nostalgic about old Beatles songs.

But a Norwegian wood.

Did you hear Justin Timberlake is bringing out a song to commemorate the Ukraine war?

Crimea River

I wrote a song about squeezing a bar of soap in the shower.

It's dropping soon.

Really like that Elvis song about internet dating.

Love me tinder.

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With great enthusiasm and singing a song

Reagan visits the USSR and is amazed by the capital construction he has seen.

Reagan: "How do you manage to build structures like this? Your logistics is shit, you have no technology and people are apathetic."

Gorbachev: "Soviet people built it all with great enthusiasm and while singi...

‘Doctor, I keep spontaneously singing songs by The Who’

‘How long has this been happening?’

‘Ever since I was a young boy…’

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'Hey Mr Tambourine man play a song for me...'

'What, on a fucking tambourine?'

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What is a neutrino’s favorite holiday song?

“Have Yourself a Very Little Rest Mass.”

What's the most famous Queens of the Stone Age song?

I tried to google it but it said that no one knows.

If An Anti-Vax Kid Had a Theme Song, What Would it Be?

The Final Countdown

Have you listened to Beethoven's song about bad decisions?

It's so not a good idea

what is a cheese's favourite Elton John song?

I'm Stilton standing!

Why did my girlfriend leave?

My girlfriend said we had to have a serious talk. She had enough of me constantly singing “I want it that way” by the Backstreet Boys. She said if I didn’t stop singing that song, she was done with the relationship and would leave.

I said, “Tell me why?”

With the rise of self-driving vehicles...

With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too

At my open mic night, someone said Wonderwall was their favorite song, and asked if I could play it at some point.

I said, “Perhaps”

The song “Jungle Love” is stuck in my head.

It’s driving me mad.
It’s making me crazy.

What was Jesus' least favorite Elton John song?

"Take Me to the Pilate"

Heard a Beach Boys song that sang, “We could be married…And then we’d be happy…”

And I was like “Whoa, fellas - you can’t have it both ways.”

What is an english teacher’s favorite Radiohead song?

Comma Police.

I'm here to do two things: Make love, and sing hit songs from the 80s...

...And I'm all out of love! I'm so lost without you!

I was out shopping tonight, when I saw a new brand of condoms called, "Olympic." Trying to get in to the spirit of things, I bought a pack and when I got home, I sprinted in singing the Olympic theme song and proudly showed them to my wife...

"Olympic condoms!?" she asked. "What makes them so special? Are we only going to use them once every four years?!"

Chuckling, I replied, "No,no! You see, there are three colors, Gold, Silver and Bronze!"

"What color are you going to wear tonight?" she asked cheekily.

"Gold of co...

What was Beethoven's favorite rock song?

\-

\-

*Bonn to be Wild*

Thats not how the song goes...

You were singing backstreet boys and i was singing “in sync”

That "Born to Be Wild" song is actually pretty scary.

Especially the part where they find a head out on the highway.

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Love that Simply Red song about having sex with a rabbit.

Holding back the ears.

My dad asked me which Metallica songs I know

I told him I only know one and nothing else matters.

What song did the snowman sing as he tried to pick up a date?

"I Only Have Ice For You."

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Man walks into a bar with an octopus

He says "I bet anyone $50 they can't bring me a musical instrument this octopus can't play."

People in the bar look around, talk amongst themselves, and someone brings up an acoustic guitar. The octopus looks at the guitar, tests the strings, tunes it, and begins playing a country song.
...

You know, for a song titled, "Piano Man..."

The guy with the harmonica sure won't shut the hell up.

What is a dog’s favourite song?

Chasing Cars.

I just wrote a song about a sausage that I like to serve with mashed potatoes.

It's a banger.

My doctor told me to stop singing Frank Sinatra songs as it's bad for my health. But I just wouldn't listen.

And now the end is near.

What is the most popular song in hell?

Burn baby burn, Dantes inferno!

Can a chickpea sing you a song?

No- but he could hummus one.

Why was the prog-rock song 20 minutes long?

It was only part I.

What Queen song does a fraudulent cheesemaker sing?

I want to fake Brie.

A husband and wife are doing a crossword puzzle.

Husband: Programs for mobile devices. 4 letters

Wife: Apps

Husband: Adolescent, 4 letters

Wife: Teen

Husband: Contraction meaning failed to perform, 5 letters

Wife: Didn't

Husband: Take a life, 4 letters

Wife: Kill

Husband: Religious songs, 5 l...

Joe Biden's Least Favorite Song?

Stairway to Heaven

Clothes are like Billie Eilish songs

I was really surprised when I found out that a kid made them

What’s that song again?

I can’t seem to remember the name of that song. 10 % luck 20 % skill 15 % concentrated power of will? Something ?

What's the different between Black Eyed Peas and Chick Peas?

Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song.

Chick Peas can hummus one.

What's a washing machine's favorite song?

Twist and Shout

What is Vladmir Putin's favorite hit 2017 song?

Despot-cito

That one song about closing the goddamn door.

HaVe YoU eVeR hEaRd Of It?

What's Donald Trump's favorite Christmas song?

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas ♫

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Do you know why a pop song must be 3 minutes?

Not even pop fans can listen to that crap for longer

What's the best part of a pirate song?

The hook.

Once upon a time, in the magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam.

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song,...

Theme song

99 Anti-maskers on the street,

99 on the street,

they go protest

they're feeling free,

98 Anti-maskers on the street

What computer can sing the song "Hello"?

A Dell.

What’s the name of that song?

It goes like “Venice navy dad”

Now that I’ve gone back and listened to the 90s Fresh Prince theme song…

That track really slaps.

I almost lost my job as a DJ at a country music station

I accidentally played the same three songs for five hours. Fortunately, our listeners didn't seem to notice.

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