The 107+ Best Song Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you only had one beer, you’re not an alcoholic. If you make one song on SoundCloud, you’re not a rapper.

But I have sex with one guy and now I’m gay?

Avril Lavigne could have just called her song Skater boy instead of Sk8er Boi.

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

The Omicron Variant is like a Katy Perry song.

Mild but pretty catchy.

The first song from my new group, The Palindromes, is called...

If I Had A Hi-Fi

The teacher asked little Johnny if he could write a song using the words “analyze” and “anatomy”

This was Johnny’s response:

My analyze over the ocean
My analyze over the sea
My analyze over the ocean
Oh bring back my anatomy!

TIL that for release in Finland, the original Mortal Kombat had to be censored in an unusual way. Censors were fine with the gore, but insisted the music be replaced with traditional Christian songs.

FINNISH HYMN!!!

I was out shopping tonight, when I saw a new brand of condoms called, "Olympic." Trying to get in to the spirit of things, I bought a pack and when I got home, I sprinted in singing the Olympic theme song and proudly showed them to my wife...

"Olympic condoms!?" she asked. "What makes them so special? Are we only going to use them once every four years?!"

Chuckling, I replied, "No,no! You see, there are three colors, Gold, Silver and Bronze!"

"What color are you going to wear tonight?" she asked cheekily.

"Gold of co...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't Joe Exotic ever release any Christmas songs?

Because he fucking hates Carols.

What is a phlebotomist’s favorite song?

“You’re So Vein.”

I think "Scarborough Fair" is Simon & Garfunkel's most haunting song

To this day, I still wonder, "*Did* Parsley save Rosemary in time?"

I hate it when you get a Cranberries song stuck in your head...

.. In your head

In your head.

In your head.

What song is played in museums?

U Can’t Touch This

I love how Pit Bull announces himself at the beginning of every song

giving us time to change the song.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you make it so no one gets offended at the Christmas song "Baby It's Cold Outside"?

Rebrand it as a rap song and name it, "Yo Bitch, It's Freezing Outside."

At my open mic night, someone said Wonderwall was their favorite song, and asked if I could play it at some point.

I said, “Perhaps”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate it when I am singing a song...

And the artits gets the words wrong, felt like it was being revised.

Two recovering alcoholics decided to write a song together...

but they couldn't get past the first two bars.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: I’m terrified of the song ‘I Want it That Way’

Therapist: Tell me why?

Me: **screams**

Did you know Mortal Kombat was based on an old Scandinavian song?

A Finnish hymn.

Some poor children in Victorian London were listening to Christmas songs

They heard that Santa Claus gives coal to children who aren´t on his nice list, and so they commit as many petty crimes as possible to be on his naughty list so as to not die of hypothermia.

What Christmas song do they sing in the psychiatric hospital?

Do you see what I see?

What is Otto von Bismarck's favourite Queen song?

Under Prussia.

Have you heard the song about the pork sausage?

It's a banger.

Did you hear Justin Timberlake is bringing out a song to commemorate the Ukraine war?

Crimea River

What's a cow's favourite Beatles song?

Hay Chewed

I heard a Michael Jackson song in the mall yesterday.

Didn't enjoy it at all though; it was bad.

My life is just like Rihanna's new song.

Work work work work work and the rest I can't really understand!

My doctor told me to stop singing Frank Sinatra songs as it's bad for my health. But I just wouldn't listen.

And now the end is near.

I wrote a song about squeezing a bar of soap in the shower.

It's dropping soon.

What is Charon’s favorite song?

Come Sail Away by Styx

Heard a Beach Boys song that sang, “We could be married…And then we’d be happy…”

And I was like “Whoa, fellas - you can’t have it both ways.”

Why are Taylor Swift's songs always a hit? (WARNING POKEMON JOKE)

Because swift never misses.

What is a baker’s favorite song by “The Cars”?

“Just What I Kneaded”

What happens when you play a country song in reverse?

The singer gets his dog, home and wife back.

What is Robespierre’s favorite song?

“Heads Will Roll”.

I'm here to do two things: Make love, and sing hit songs from the 80s...

...And I'm all out of love! I'm so lost without you!

The greatest ever song about tortoises was recorded 40 years ago this year...

... "Turtle Eclipse of the Heart".

What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's favourite song?

Higher ground by Red Hot Chili Peppers

What’s a pirate’s favorite Beatles song?

“Blackbeard singing in the dead of night…”

Want to know Quasimodo’s favorite Christmas song?

Jingle bells!

A Danish person will not be nostalgic about old Beatles songs.

But a Norwegian wood.

In what order do you play Classical Music Songs?

Bach to Bach.

Why couldn’t anyone make the movies ‘Birth of a Nation’, ‘Song of the South’, ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ or ‘Blazing Saddles’ today?

Because it takes way longer than a day to make a movie.

If An Anti-Vax Kid Had a Theme Song, What Would it Be?

The Final Countdown

What song did the snowman sing as he tried to pick up a date?

"I Only Have Ice For You."

I just wrote a song about a sausage that I like to serve with mashed potatoes.

It's a banger.

What's a shirt's favorite song?

Fleece Navidad

My 8 year old nephew told me this today.

What's the most famous Queens of the Stone Age song?

I tried to google it but it said that no one knows.

You know what's the favourite holiday song in Wales?

All I Want For Christmas is Ewe

What bird never sings the lyrics to a song?

A hummingbird.

Bee Gees songs are useful for first aid. Do chest compressions to the rhythm of Staying Alive.

If the CPR fails, it’s time to sing For Whom The Bell Tolls.

I wrote a song about a sandwich

Well it’s more of a wrap really

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say about 70% of people masturbate in the shower and about 30% sing in the shower. Do you know what the most popular song is to sing in the shower?

You don't? Well I guess we know what you've been doing.

My wife asked me to get out of the house because I can’t stop singing Christmas songs.

I said, “But Baby, it’s cold outside.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a neutrino’s favorite holiday song?

“Have Yourself a Very Little Rest Mass.”

Where does Phil Collins record his songs

The stu-stu-studio

Have you listened to Beethoven's song about bad decisions?

It's so not a good idea

What is a carnivore's favorite Elvis song?

Love Meat Tender

Now that I’ve gone back and listened to the 90s Fresh Prince theme song…

That track really slaps.

I write songs about sewing machines

I'm a Singer Songwriter

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I said to a blonde girl, I bet you a blowjob I can sing a song with your name in it, no way says the blonde my name is Chantelle, so I bet you, Ok I said here we go....

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Chantelle happy blow job for me...

That "Born to Be Wild" song is actually pretty scary.

Especially the part where they find a head out on the highway.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

'Hey Mr Tambourine man play a song for me...'

'What, on a fucking tambourine?'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Love that Simply Red song about having sex with a rabbit.

Holding back the ears.

What's Little Bo Peep's favorite song?

Never Gonna Give "Ewe" Up

Just a heads up: I have this weird habit of quoting Elton John's "Your Song"...

I hope you don't mind.

The song “Jungle Love” is stuck in my head.

It’s driving me mad.
It’s making me crazy.

what is a cheese's favourite Elton John song?

I'm Stilton standing!

What is an english teacher’s favorite Radiohead song?

Comma Police.

What was Jesus' least favorite Elton John song?

"Take Me to the Pilate"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bono started clapping slowly between songs during a U2 concert. "Every time I clap my hands a child in Africa dies from starvation", he told the audience

Some guy at the front shouted, "Well stop fucking doing it then!"

^actually ^a ^true ^story

Millennial old folks homes are gonna be awesome!

LAN parties, DnD nights, wheelchair races, having awesome songs from the 2000's as our golden oldies! It'll be great, especially if we can line up our work schedules!

What's Putin's favorite Beatles song?

Back in the USSR

Isn't it strange how sometimes a random 80s rap song will start playing in your head for no reason?

I guess we just have to accept that the brain is a very complex organ, because it's like that, and that's the way it is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you know why a pop song must be 3 minutes?

Not even pop fans can listen to that crap for longer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With great enthusiasm and singing a song

Reagan visits the USSR and is amazed by the capital construction he has seen.

Reagan: "How do you manage to build structures like this? Your logistics is shit, you have no technology and people are apathetic."

Gorbachev: "Soviet people built it all with great enthusiasm and while singi...

‘Doctor, I keep spontaneously singing songs by The Who’

‘How long has this been happening?’

‘Ever since I was a young boy…’

My wife asked me to name Meatloaf’s top 3 songs… I named “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” and “I’d do anything for love”… but then couldn’t come up with another one.

But hey, two out of three ain’t bad.

How many songs do you need to write if you really want to make some money with them?

Four tunes.

My dad asked me which Metallica songs I know

I told him I only know one and nothing else matters.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, an American and a Japanese guy are on a boat, moments away from plunging over a waterfall to their doom...

Suddenly a genie appears. The genie explains that he is of limited power. He cannot prevent their inevitable deaths, but he can grant each man one wish before he dies.

The American steps up first. 'I love my country. Before I die I want to sing my national anthem one last time. The full versi...

At this time of year, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep.

And that's why I'm no longer a fireman.

A new guy starts work at a bakery.

He's handed his rota and his eyes lighten up: "Great, it's dinner-roll day!". The supervisor is puzzled to see such enthusiasm for so mundane a task as baking dinner rolls, but sure enough, the new guy goes to it with zest and panache and is soon turning out dinner rolls the like of which the superv...

Meatloaf has produced 3 really great songs but of them, I can only recognise Bat out of Hell and Heaven can wait.

Well 2 out of 3 ain’t bad

My obsession with Doris Day songs is ruining my social life.

I already lost my friends Kay, Sarah, Sarah.

Why was the prog-rock song 20 minutes long?

It was only part I.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIFU...well it was actually yesterday, so YIFU by singing a Sam Cooke song for my GF on Valentine's Day:

Me:
Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the French I took

But I do know that I love you
And I know that if you love me, too
What a wonderful world this would be

Don't know much about geograph...

No one is allowed to congregate for funerals; instead, people drive by the cemetery and honk their horns in respect. One man drives by blasting “Another One Bites The Dust”

The family wanted to be mad, but then another car drove by playing the same song, and another one does, and another one does, and another one drives a bus.

Why did my girlfriend leave?

My girlfriend said we had to have a serious talk. She had enough of me constantly singing “I want it that way” by the Backstreet Boys. She said if I didn’t stop singing that song, she was done with the relationship and would leave.

I said, “Tell me why?”

You know, for a song titled, "Piano Man..."

The guy with the harmonica sure won't shut the hell up.

My daughter made this tonight: What's the favourite song of sloths?

Don't Hurry, Be Happy

Old army joke

A new captain becomes leader of a company of soldiers. As he goes about learning everything on how they do things he finds two soldiers guarding a bench. He asks his sergeants why they're guarding the bench and they say the previous commander ordered it. He calls the previous commander up, now a maj...

The Madrigal family learned about the song “uptown funk”

However, They don’t talk about Bruno… Mars!

Why did they not allow a pony to sing a song?

.

.

.

Because she was a little horse.

What is the most popular song in hell?

Burn baby burn, Dantes inferno!

Have you heard Justin Timberlake's hit song about his favorite Ukrainian body of water?

The Crimea River

I’ve been trying to write a song about Daylight Savings Time

But I haven’t been able to come up with anything better than Spice Girls’ 2 become 1

Did you know they sell older rap songs at a discount if you buy two at once?

They call it the Tupac-bundle.

What is a dog’s favourite song?

Chasing Cars.

What Disney song is about three-ways?

You've got a friend in me.

Once upon a time, in the magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam.

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song,...

My girlfriend left me cause I couldn’t stop quoting linkin park songs

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter

Can a chickpea sing you a song?

No- but he could hummus one.

What is Vladmir Putin's favorite hit 2017 song?

Despot-cito

They say if you play the new Luke Bryan song backwards, you will hear a Satanic message. But that's not the worst part

...if you play it forwards, you'll hear the new Luke Bryan song.

What do you call a song that get you laid?

A banger.

I'll see my self out

It my Reddit bday. Celebrate and sing with me the dirtiest clean song you’ll ever sing!

Sing this out loud:

There once was a farmer who lived by a crick,
And every morning he played with his banjo,
In the moonlight, to the lady next door,
And you could tell just by looking that she was a,
Decent young lady who lay in the grass,
And when she rolled over you could s...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.