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Rockstar Jokes

Which rockstar is the best chess player?

Bob Seger, because he’s always working on them knight moves.

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Every job ad nowadays says they want a "Rockstar"

but when I snort coke off a customer's breasts, they fire me!

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A group of aging Rockstars are hanging out and comparing who has received the most impressive gift…

They are in Roger Daltrey’s house and he is showing off an exquisite pinball machine.
“This Custom Tommy Pinball Machine was given to me by the Prime Minister of Sweden. He loved Tommy so much he had it specially made. The balls and all the metal fixtures are made of real Sterling Silver!”
<...

What is a British rockstar’s favorite meal?

Head bangers and mosh pit-tatoes

Why did the broken printer become a rockstar?

Because it liked to jam all the time

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Why do rockstars like groupies?

Because the sex is fanfuckingtastic.

I heard Rockstar are gonna start making dry shampoo

It's called Bed Head Redemption

Rockstar Just Annouced A GTA Spinoff About Breaking And Entering

Its called GTFO

What do Rockstars and Police Officers have in common?

"EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!"

What is the easiest way for a Rockstar to gain karma?

Repost Malone

What did the windmill say to the famous rockstar?

“I’m a big fan.”

Why did Rockstar choose to invest in a Harbour when diversifying their assets?

Because their ports are always a disaster!

Fun fact about composers!

Did you know the composers of classical music were the rockstars of their time?

It's true!

A lot of the showmanship we associate with popular musicians actually originated among classical composers.

For example, later in his career, Beethoven was known to start all his orchestr...

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So I Went To Japan On A Holiday

and I had a very close online Japanese friend I met on a Guitar Hero forum, and we arranged to meet up.

I thought he was a guy, but then this really cute girl with short, brown hair shows up, easily a 9/10. She's called Nao and even though it's the first time we had met in real life, we get a...

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The horse, the cow, and the chicken[LONG]

So a horse, a cow, and a chicken live on a farm. One day their owner goes on vacation but accidentally leaves the TV on. The animals peek in the window and witness a rock concert on the TV, theyre inspired.

So the horse calls up guitar center, and asks “hey I want to learn the guitar, but the...

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A Panda Bear wins a free trip to NYC....

This Giant Panda boards his flight from China and after a long flight he arrives in New York. He decides to do some tourist stuff and go sightseeing. As he is walking down the crowded and busy streets of NYC, so many people are taking photos and selfies with him. The panda is feeling like a rocksta...

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Why I changed my name

Well, for my story to make any sense, I need to clarify that I'm somewhat of a celebrity in my country. I think even internationally people have heard about me, though I'm not too sure about it (fortunately the people who know about me also tend to be technologically a bit behind the curve, so you d...

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