Emo Jokes

Girl scan the code on your wrist

It’s the kind that cuts itself.

Instead of cutting my hair he just kept cutting himself.

It died

None, they all sit in the dark and cry.



It's cake day : )

Edit: thanks for my first silver kind stranger!
A Gold also! Thank you very much!

Self Harmony

Chemo

I really need to stop saying "cut!" at the end of each scene.

My Chemical Romance

It was happy hour.

They'll take themselves out before you know it.

He made the cut.

Depresso's

he made very accurate cuts

A toaster

a cutting board

theres no porpoise in life

They're both white and flavorless

A Tropical Depression

It cuts itself.

They self-harmonize.

Suicide Squad.

The feather cuz the emo kid’s attached to a rope…

A depressed emo high off shrooms was walking in the forest when he came across a tree with arms. He tried to give him a high-five but the tree left him hanging.

Jump rope.

A cut scene.

You don't, just let them sit and cry in the dark

The milk won't hang itself after you dump it.

The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

Then it would cut itself

An edgelard.

Alternatively, names.

They're called 'Hispanic at the Disco'

medium rawr

The forearm violin.

Self Harmony

The tree left them hanging

self destructive behaviour

My emo friend is really bad at shaving.
Whenever he shaves, it always cuts his skin.


I don't know why he shaves his wrists though.

Lots of Deep Cuts

It's fresh brood!

Bakery Cashier: "It cuts itself."

Cut the rope.

I don't know what she charges him for it though.




Edit: Considering the attention, I should attribute this to the great Emo Phillips:

"People come up to me concerned... I'll reproduce"

"People come up to me and ask, Emo, do people really come up to you?"

"I len... read more

We're called Hispanic at the Disco

None. They just sit in the dark and cry

its pretty metal

I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southe... read more

My favorite Judy Tenuta story: after a show, the comic who opened for her is driving her to their next gig; as they re passing cornfields at 2 AM he asks, "So what did you think of my act" & she replies,
"Ask me again when we get a bit closer to town"

Godspeed, Judy Tenuta.

I was never scene again

What do emo birds call their mouths?

Bleaks

Qatar

Self Harmony

/wrists

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well ... are you religious o... read more

“Its just a PHase!”

They decided on the Titan XD