UPJOKE
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Oh no! Someone got seriously injured at the Nintendo headquarters! Call an ambulance!

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...

How many Nintendo fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who knows? They’re all too busy playing with the switch.

What did the Nintendo Wii do when he stopped working?

Wii-tired





bonus: In Wii-sconsin

What do you call two nintendo fans doing incest?

Super smash bros

Did you hear about EA taking over Nintendo?

Their new game is gonna be called ‘Pay-per Mario’

A Dirty Nintendo joke

What’s white and smells like Peach???

Mario’s Glove.

My wife left me because I bought the new Nintendo, but I'm not even upset...

...it was time for a Switch.

What was the only Nintendo series to really fall flat?

Paper Mario

Luigi invites Mario over to play some Nintendo Switch...

...as they get ready to fire up some Smash Bros. Mario notices Luigi has a new avatar.

Mario asks, "Say, Luigi, what kind picture is that?"

Luigi says... "It's a Mii, Mario."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between nymphomaniacs and Nintendo fans?

Nothing - they both lose their shit when they hear the word "smash".

Why are Nintendo players afraid of the fence?

Because it prevents animal crossing.

Nintendo just announced they're changing Pokemon Sword & Shield to Pokemon Circle & Oval

After Game Freak decided to cut every corner.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Because Nintendo's beloved character is Japanese, Mario is his LAST name. His first name?

Itsume.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An atheist dies, goes to hell, and finds himself in a lush park with butterflies.

His physical body has transformed back into its prime and he's then greeted by Satan who says "Why hello there! Welcome to hell. Let me show you around, you're gonna love it here."

Satan points to a nice house and says "what do you think of this house?" The atheist replies "It's beautiful, I ...

What sound does a Nintendo police car make?

Wii-U Wii-U Wii-U

I couldn't help myself- before I knew what was happening, I found myself bragging about getting the new Nintendo console in 2006.

It was a Wii-flex.

Nintendo recently found a truck that was stolen in 2015 and all the Wii games were still in the trailer.

They released them for sale at only $59.99.

Nintendo are releasing a Finnegan’s Wake game

You need a special Joyce stick to play it

The Nintendo 64 turned 18 today

Now you can legally blow the cartridges.

What happens when old Nintendo consoles become obsolete?

People Switch.

So, my Italian friend was asking what the character was on my Nintendo profile...

I replied: “It’s a Mii, Mario”

I had high expectations for doing great things in 2020. Instead I'm stuck at home jacking off and playing Nintendo.

The old 'bate and Switch.

I accidentally bought a broken Nintendo console

I had to get a Wiifund

What’s a gynecologist’s favorite Nintendo game?

Duck Hunt

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you mix Nintendo and Japanese cars?

Super Honda Odyssey

I’m sorry

What do you call a Super Mario character who likes to be both dominant and submissive?

A Nintendo switch

Why did Nintendo decide to shut down the Miiverse?

They grew tired of all the wiiposts.

Nintendo has explicitly banned Chris Pratt from using method acting for the Mario movie

They have warned him that eating shrooms on set is both unprofessional and illegal.

Nintendo is making a new game about gambling monsters.

It's called Pokermon.

My wife bought me a Nintendo switch for Christmas.

In a few years I'll have enough parts to build a whole console.

A Nintendo fan gets invited at their crush's house to "chill"

The two spend a very relaxing evening, but after some time together the Nintendo fan starts packing up to leave.

The crush says: "Hold on why are you leaving? We were having such a good time!"

The Nintendo fan replies: "No smash"

Men are like Nintendo cartridges

You blow them, they're allright.

Nintendo is releasing a micro transaction mobile platformer

Pay Per Mario

What type of overalls does Mario from Nintendo wear?

DenimDenimDenim

I really love playing my Nintendo Switch on the bus during my commute to work.

Ensures plenty of Mii time.

Where do Nintendo Characters shop?

Ike-ea, Waa-Greens, Hot Togepi, Break the Target, Lush Ultimate, Wet-Spheal, Mushroom Kingdom (think about it), Abercombie and Squid, and Walmarth.

Apparently, Nintendo opened a hospital recently.

Oh, hey, I can hear their ambulance driving by now!

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U...

Some people say that Nintendo has no 3rd party games...

They have obviously never heard of Mario Party 3

Nintendo didn’t want a repeat of the disappointing sales from their Wii U.

It was clear that they needed to make a switch.

Relationships should be like Nintendo 64 classic...

Fun to spend time with and every issue fixed by blowing and shoving it back in.

Who has been magically making Nintendo money?

Nintendo’S witch

What do you call a Nintendo character that looks like a minion?

Despicable Mii

How do you know Nintendo is Democrat?

Because even their Joycons lean left.

My brother was playing on his Nintendo Switch...

When my mother walked into the the room and said:

Oh you playing on your SD...

I'm so proud of her... she's now only two generations behind and backwards!

I just realized how woke Nintendo is.

The Wii and WiiU may be the first consoles in history to have preferred personal pronouns.

Why does Nintendo require an online subscription to finish Final Fantasy VII?

Cloud saves.

Nintendo: surely you can't come up with a worse name than Wii U

Microsoft: hold my beer

What sound does Nintendo's security vehicles make?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

If Nintendo had a police force what would their anthem be ?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

Nintendo was going to convert a car factory to manufacture their new console.

But the factory owner didn't want to make the switch.

I don’t get all the fuss about Nintendo Labo.

Papa John’s has been selling cardboard for over 30 years.

When Nintendo come out with a new version of the switch will the current one become...

The old switcheroo!

So, Nintendo's stopped production of the Wii U and are producing their new console.

Looks like they decided it's a good time for a Switch.

What do you call a Mexican portable Nintendo?

Nintendo Diaz

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is a cock like a Nintendo cartridge?

Because when they stop working halfway through, you have to pull them out and blow them before you can put them back in.

Why does the Nintendo switch come with a dock?

Because of all the ports

(Told to me by my wife)

I once heard a joke about the Nintendo Wii

It wasn't really funny but I still nunchuckled

Just saw a French footballer playing Nintendo

Think it was Thierry on Wii

After a Year of use I can say without a doubt that the Nintendo Switch is the perfect console for Me

The Nintendo Sub was too under powered and the Nintendo Dom is more than I can handle.......

Did you hear that the new Nintendo Switch controllers were a scam?

Turns out that they were a joy con.

This new censorship by Nintendo is horrible....

[wiimoved]

Nintendo should come out with a sequel to X and Y...

It'll be called "The Extra Chromosome"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning

Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning, anticipating that he'd be getting a new Nintendo Console this year. "Surprise!" shouted his parents. "We know you wanted video games, but we think you need to get outdoors more. We got you this set of fishing gear! Unfortunately, it was rather expensive, ...

What noise does a Nintendo ambulance make?

Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u

The Nintendo DS' cheaper version was the DS Lite. A cheaper Nintendo Switch would be

The Nintendo Lite-Switch

Nintendo just announced the first haunted tower for Pokemon GO

The New World Trade Center

When is the earliest time of day Nintendo fans play games?

The Wii hours of the morning.

What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door?

Triforce.

*Not my joke, discovered it in my old 90's Nintendo Power magazine*

*EDIT* just realized someone found the same gems that i did

https://www.reddit.com/r/zelda/comments/3t1qt4/some_classic_zelda_jokes_from_an_old_issue_of/

How do you call the random eye movement caused by prolonged video gaming?

A Nintendo Twitch

My son was really upset.

I tried everything to cheer him up. I have him a Nintendo switch, an xbox, a PlayStation. But nothing worked. He was unconsolable.

What’s a French persons favourite gaming console?

A Nintendo Oui

One night mario woke up to find daisy in bed with him

Now that's what I call a nintendo switch

(This would have been funny ten years ago) What do you call it when stores start getting replenishment shipments of the Nintendo Wii?

A wiistock.

There was this guy working at McDonald’s.

and it was his turn to cook the French fries. So he put the frozen fries in the metal basket and dipped it in the oil. You see this guy was a veteran chef and used to be able to sense when food was cooked by looking at it's color or by smelling it, he never needed a timer or a meat thermometer or an...

I asked my Argentine friend why SEGA systems were so popular there in the late '80s.

He replied, "No nintendo."

What was the Soviet Union's favorite videogame system?

The Nintendo We

I really hate it when...

...autocorrect makes me say things I didn’t Nintendo.

Motel Coronavirus

Motel Coronavirus



On a dim dreary morning

Ceiling fan stirs the air

Stale beer and Doritos

Littered next to my chair

Just outside of my window

Saw a glimmer of light

My eyes were bloodshot and my head pounding

I hadn't slept all last ni...

The worst thing about autocorrect

It always makes me put words I didn't Nintendo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is 10 blocks long and never had sex?

The line for the Nintendo Switch

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