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Nintendo Jokes

Oh no! Someone got seriously injured at the Nintendo headquarters! Call an ambulance!

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...

How many Nintendo fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who knows? They’re all too busy playing with the switch.

What did the Nintendo Wii do when he stopped working?

Wii-tired





bonus: In Wii-sconsin

A Dirty Nintendo joke

What’s white and smells like Peach???

Mario’s Glove.

Did you hear about EA taking over Nintendo?

Their new game is gonna be called ‘Pay-per Mario’

What was the only Nintendo series to really fall flat?

Paper Mario

What do you call two nintendo fans doing incest?

Super smash bros

Luigi invites Mario over to play some Nintendo Switch...

...as they get ready to fire up some Smash Bros. Mario notices Luigi has a new avatar.

Mario asks, "Say, Luigi, what kind picture is that?"

Luigi says... "It's a Mii, Mario."

Why are Nintendo players afraid of the fence?

Because it prevents animal crossing.

The Nintendo 64 turned 18 today

Now you can legally blow the cartridges.

Nintendo is making a new game about gambling monsters.

It's called Pokermon.

I accidentally bought a broken Nintendo console

I had to get a Wiifund

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between nymphomaniacs and Nintendo fans?

Nothing - they both lose their shit when they hear the word "smash".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Because Nintendo's beloved character is Japanese, Mario is his LAST name. His first name?

Itsume.

Nintendo are releasing a Finnegan’s Wake game

You need a special Joyce stick to play it

What happens when old Nintendo consoles become obsolete?

People Switch.

I couldn't help myself- before I knew what was happening, I found myself bragging about getting the new Nintendo console in 2006.

It was a Wii-flex.

Some people say that Nintendo has no 3rd party games...

They have obviously never heard of Mario Party 3

My wife left me because I bought the a Nintendo, but I'm not even upset...

it was time for a switch

Did you hear about the old Nintendo console which burned down a house?

Turns out Wii *did* start the fire.

What’s a gynecologist’s favorite Nintendo game?

Duck Hunt

Why did Nintendo decide to shut down the Miiverse?

They grew tired of all the wiiposts.

Nintendo just announced they're changing Pokemon Sword & Shield to Pokemon Circle & Oval

After Game Freak decided to cut every corner.

Today I found out that King Charles is a gamer, and mostly plays Nintendo games.

He knows how to properly use the Royal Wii.

Why did Nintendo start making farm equipment?

Because now they're playing with plowers.

I dont know whats happening at Nintendo but you shouldnt be smahing your bros

Im new to this, sorry

What's Nintendo's favorite cereal?

Mari-O's

Nintendo has explicitly banned Chris Pratt from using method acting for the Mario movie

They have warned him that eating shrooms on set is both unprofessional and illegal.

My wife bought me a Nintendo switch for Christmas.

In a few years I'll have enough parts to build a whole console.

What type of overalls does Mario from Nintendo wear?

DenimDenimDenim

I had high expectations for doing great things in 2020. Instead I'm stuck at home jacking off and playing Nintendo.

The old 'bate and Switch.

Thai-English bilingual Nintendo joke

What does a Thai man say when he can't find the coffee mug from which he always drinks while customizing his avatar on his Nintendo Wii?

*Mai mii khap!*

Nintendo used to make the Wii

Then they decided to make a switch.

The Nintendo DS' cheaper version was the DS Lite. A cheaper Nintendo Switch would be

The Nintendo Lite-Switch

Who has been magically making Nintendo money?

Nintendo’S witch

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you mix Nintendo and Japanese cars?

Super Honda Odyssey

I’m sorry

Where do Nintendo Characters shop?

Ike-ea, Waa-Greens, Hot Togepi, Break the Target, Lush Ultimate, Wet-Spheal, Mushroom Kingdom (think about it), Abercombie and Squid, and Walmarth.

Relationships should be like Nintendo 64 classic...

Fun to spend time with and every issue fixed by blowing and shoving it back in.

A Nintendo fan gets invited at their crush's house to "chill"

The two spend a very relaxing evening, but after some time together the Nintendo fan starts packing up to leave.

The crush says: "Hold on why are you leaving? We were having such a good time!"

The Nintendo fan replies: "No smash"

Apparently, Nintendo opened a hospital recently.

Oh, hey, I can hear their ambulance driving by now!

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U...

So, my Italian friend was asking what the character was on my Nintendo profile...

I replied: “It’s a Mii, Mario”

Nintendo is releasing a micro transaction mobile platformer

Pay Per Mario

What sound does a Nintendo police car make?

Wii-U Wii-U Wii-U

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An atheist dies, goes to hell, and finds himself in a lush park with butterflies.

His physical body has transformed back into its prime and he's then greeted by Satan who says "Why hello there! Welcome to hell. Let me show you around, you're gonna love it here."

Satan points to a nice house and says "what do you think of this house?" The atheist replies "It's beautiful, I ...

I just realized how woke Nintendo is.

The Wii and WiiU may be the first consoles in history to have preferred personal pronouns.

I miss the days when 2 Nintendo employees would show up at your house to play Wii

Now they just show up with a lawsuit and a court order.

What do you call a Nintendo character that looks like a minion?

Despicable Mii

What sound does Nintendo's security vehicles make?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

How do you know Nintendo is Democrat?

Because even their Joycons lean left.

Nintendo recently found a truck that was stolen in 2015 and all the Wii games were still in the trailer.

They released them for sale at only $59.99.

What's Michael Jacksons favorite gaming console?

Nintendo Wii-heeee

What do you call a Super Mario character who likes to be both dominant and submissive?

A Nintendo switch

I really love playing my Nintendo Switch on the bus during my commute to work.

Ensures plenty of Mii time.

What do you call a Mexican portable Nintendo?

Nintendo Diaz

Just saw a French footballer playing Nintendo

Think it was Thierry on Wii

This new censorship by Nintendo is horrible....

[wiimoved]

Why does Nintendo require an online subscription to finish Final Fantasy VII?

Cloud saves.

All these years of Nintendo thinking outside the box

Turns out they should've been thinking *about* the box!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is a cock like a Nintendo cartridge?

Because when they stop working halfway through, you have to pull them out and blow them before you can put them back in.

Why does the Nintendo switch come with a dock?

Because of all the ports

(Told to me by my wife)

If Nintendo had a police force what would their anthem be ?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

I once heard a joke about the Nintendo Wii

It wasn't really funny but I still nunchuckled

I don’t get all the fuss about Nintendo Labo.

Papa John’s has been selling cardboard for over 30 years.

Nintendo didn’t want a repeat of the disappointing sales from their Wii U.

It was clear that they needed to make a switch.

What noise does a Nintendo ambulance make?

Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u

What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door?

Triforce.

*Not my joke, discovered it in my old 90's Nintendo Power magazine*

*EDIT* just realized someone found the same gems that i did

https://www.reddit.com/r/zelda/comments/3t1qt4/some_classic_zelda_jokes_from_an_old_issue_of/

Nintendo: surely you can't come up with a worse name than Wii U

Microsoft: hold my beer

Did you hear that the new Nintendo Switch controllers were a scam?

Turns out that they were a joy con.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning

Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning, anticipating that he'd be getting a new Nintendo Console this year.

"Surprise!" shouted his parents. "We know you wanted video games, but we think you need to get outdoors more. We got you this set of fishing gear! Unfortunately, it was rather expe...

When is the earliest time of day Nintendo fans play games?

The Wii hours of the morning.

Nintendo should come out with a sequel to X and Y...

It'll be called "The Extra Chromosome"

When Nintendo come out with a new version of the switch will the current one become...

The old switcheroo!

How do you call the random eye movement caused by prolonged video gaming?

A Nintendo Twitch

So, Nintendo's stopped production of the Wii U and are producing their new console.

Looks like they decided it's a good time for a Switch.

After a Year of use I can say without a doubt that the Nintendo Switch is the perfect console for Me

The Nintendo Sub was too under powered and the Nintendo Dom is more than I can handle.......

I hate autocorrect...

It always makes me say things I don't Nintendo.

What does Marlon Brando say if you put his face on a Sega Genesis?

“I coulda been a Nintendo!”

What’s a French persons favourite gaming console?

A Nintendo Oui

What was the Soviet Union's favorite videogame system?

The Nintendo We

One night mario woke up to find daisy in bed with him

Now that's what I call a nintendo switch

My son was really upset.

I tried everything to cheer him up. I have him a Nintendo switch, an xbox, a PlayStation. But nothing worked. He was unconsolable.

(This would have been funny ten years ago) What do you call it when stores start getting replenishment shipments of the Nintendo Wii?

A wiistock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is 10 blocks long and never had sex?

The line for the Nintendo Switch

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