Oh no! Someone got seriously injured at the Nintendo headquarters! Call an ambulance!

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...

How many Nintendo fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who knows? They’re all too busy playing with the switch.

What did the Nintendo Wii do when he stopped working?

Wii-tired





bonus: In Wii-sconsin

I was going to make a Nintendo joke...

But it was a Wii too hard for Mii to think it up...

What do you call two nintendo fans doing incest?

Super smash bros

The Nintendo 64 turns 18 this week...

Which means you can now legally blow the cartridges.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between nymphomaniacs and Nintendo fans?

Nothing - they both lose their shit when they hear the word "smash".

So, my Italian friend was asking what the character was on my Nintendo profile...

I replied: “It’s a Mii, Mario”

Men are like Nintendo cartridges

You blow them, they're allright.

Why are Nintendo players afraid of the fence?

Because it prevents animal crossing.

Did you hear about EA taking over Nintendo?

Their new game is gonna be called ‘Pay-per Mario’

A Dirty Nintendo joke

What’s white and smells like Peach???

Mario’s Glove.

I accidentally bought a broken Nintendo console

I had to get a Wiifund

What happens when old Nintendo consoles become obsolete?

People Switch.

Nintendo is making a new game about gambling monsters.

It's called Pokermon.

I had high expectations for doing great things in 2020. Instead I'm stuck at home jacking off and playing Nintendo.

The old 'bate and Switch.

A Nintendo fan gets invited at their crush's house to "chill"

The two spend a very relaxing evening, but after some time together the Nintendo fan starts packing up to leave.

The crush says: "Hold on why are you leaving? We were having such a good time!"

The Nintendo fan replies: "No smash"

What was the only Nintendo series to really fall flat?

Paper Mario

Luigi invites Mario over to play some Nintendo Switch...

...as they get ready to fire up some Smash Bros. Mario notices Luigi has a new avatar.

Mario asks, "Say, Luigi, what kind picture is that?"

Luigi says... "It's a Mii, Mario."

My wife left me because I bought the new Nintendo, but I'm not even upset...

...it was time for a Switch.

Nintendo just announced they're changing Pokemon Sword & Shield to Pokemon Circle & Oval

After Game Freak decided to cut every corner.

Why did Nintendo decide to shut down the Miiverse?

They grew tired of all the wiiposts.

What’s a gynecologist’s favorite Nintendo game?

Duck Hunt

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you mix Nintendo and Japanese cars?

Super Honda Odyssey

I’m sorry

What did the mosquito who plays Nintendo say when he bit you?

It's a me, Malario!

My wife bought me a Nintendo switch for Christmas.

In a few years I'll have enough parts to build a whole console.

How do you know Nintendo is Democrat?

Because even their Joycons lean left.

I miss the days when 2 Nintendo employees would show up at your house to play Wii

Now they just show up with a lawsuit and a court order.

There was this guy working at McDonald’s.

and it was his turn to cook the French fries. So he put the frozen fries in the metal basket and dipped it in the oil. You see this guy was a veteran chef and used to be able to sense when food was cooked by looking at it's color or by smelling it, he never needed a timer or a meat thermometer or an...

So MK11 is getting a new Australian character exclusive to the Nintendo Switch.

Roo Kang.

Because it's the ol'...

I saw a French footballer playing on my Nintendo Console several years ago...

It was Thierry on Wii!

I really love playing my Nintendo Switch on the bus during my commute to work.

Ensures plenty of Mii time.

Nintendo didn’t want a repeat of the disappointing sales from their Wii U.

It was clear that they needed to make a switch.

How do you call the random eye movement caused by prolonged video gaming?

A Nintendo Twitch

Where do Nintendo Characters shop?

Ike-ea, Waa-Greens, Hot Togepi, Break the Target, Lush Ultimate, Wet-Spheal, Mushroom Kingdom (think about it), Abercombie and Squid, and Walmarth.

I just realized how woke Nintendo is.

The Wii and WiiU may be the first consoles in history to have preferred personal pronouns.

Relationships should be like Nintendo 64 classic...

Fun to spend time with and every issue fixed by blowing and shoving it back in.

Who has been magically making Nintendo money?

Nintendo’S witch

Nintendo is releasing a micro transaction mobile platformer

Pay Per Mario

Suppose Nintendo were to create like a 100ft slide for playgrounds and stuff...

It oughta be called the Nintendo Wheeee!

Some people say that Nintendo has no 3rd party games...

They have obviously never heard of Mario Party 3

What type of overalls does Mario from Nintendo wear?

DenimDenimDenim

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is a cock like a Nintendo cartridge?

Because when they stop working halfway through, you have to pull them out and blow them before you can put them back in.

What do you call a Nintendo character that looks like a minion?

Despicable Mii

If Nintendo had a police force what would their anthem be ?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

Apparently, Nintendo opened a hospital recently.

Oh, hey, I can hear their ambulance driving by now!

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U...

My house is haunted by Nintendo characters.

I knew I shouldn't have fooled around with that Luigi board.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning

Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning, anticipating that he'd be getting a new Nintendo Console this year.

"Surprise!" shouted his parents. "We know you wanted video games, but we think you need to get outdoors more. We got you this set of fishing gear! Unfortunately, it was rather expe...

Why does Nintendo require an online subscription to finish Final Fantasy VII?

Cloud saves.

Nintendo: surely you can't come up with a worse name than Wii U

Microsoft: hold my beer

Why does the Nintendo switch come with a dock?

Because of all the ports

(Told to me by my wife)

I don’t get all the fuss about Nintendo Labo.

Papa John’s has been selling cardboard for over 30 years.

Nintendo was going to convert a car factory to manufacture their new console.

But the factory owner didn't want to make the switch.

When Nintendo come out with a new version of the switch will the current one become...

The old switcheroo!

What do you call a Mexican portable Nintendo?

Nintendo Diaz

All these years of Nintendo thinking outside the box

Turns out they should've been thinking *about* the box!

What sound does Nintendo's security vehicles make?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

What do you call a golden Nintendo switch

Auswitch

I once heard a joke about the Nintendo Wii

It wasn't really funny but I still nunchuckled

My son was really upset.

I tried everything to cheer him up. I have him a Nintendo switch, an xbox, a PlayStation. But nothing worked. He was unconsolable.

After a Year of use I can say without a doubt that the Nintendo Switch is the perfect console for Me

The Nintendo Sub was too under powered and the Nintendo Dom is more than I can handle.......

Did you hear that the new Nintendo Switch controllers were a scam?

Turns out that they were a joy con.

So, Nintendo's stopped production of the Wii U and are producing their new console.

Looks like they decided it's a good time for a Switch.

One night mario woke up to find daisy in bed with him

Now that's what I call a nintendo switch

What will happen if someone robs a Nintendo Switch factory?

WIIU WIIU WIIU WIIU

I really hate it when...

...autocorrect makes me say things I didn’t Nintendo.

Motel Coronavirus

Motel Coronavirus



On a dim dreary morning

Ceiling fan stirs the air

Stale beer and Doritos

Littered next to my chair

Just outside of my window

Saw a glimmer of light

My eyes were bloodshot and my head pounding

I hadn't slept all last ni...

This new censorship by Nintendo is horrible....

[wiimoved]

The Nintendo DS' cheaper version was the DS Lite. A cheaper Nintendo Switch would be

The Nintendo Lite-Switch

What noise does a Nintendo ambulance make?

Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u

Nintendo just announced the first haunted tower for Pokemon GO

The New World Trade Center

What was the Soviet Union's favorite videogame system?

The Nintendo We

I was talking to my brother yesterday

He is a grown man but still spends every single minute on a stupid videogame. He claims our old Nintendo Entertainment System is still the coolest thing in the world, mainly because we painted ours completely black for a better look.

Yesterday I visited my parents' house. My brother said the ...

(This would have been funny ten years ago) What do you call it when stores start getting replenishment shipments of the Nintendo Wii?

A wiistock.

When is the earliest time of day Nintendo fans play games?

The Wii hours of the morning.

Nintendo should come out with a sequel to X and Y...

It'll be called "The Extra Chromosome"

What’s a French persons favourite gaming console?

A Nintendo Oui

SuperClark.

Clark kent: i'm looking for a classical game for my Nintendo Switch

Gamestop employee: You can't go wrong with Super Mario.

Clark Kent: [looking around] Haha, don't you have a regular mario?

Gamestop employee: wha-

Clark Kent: [loudly] because i'm just a regular man.

My friend recently was recently thinking about going from from PC gaming to Console gaming. I told him it was time for the Switch

No pun Nintendo

The worst thing about autocorrect

It always makes me put words I didn't Nintendo

What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door?

Triforce.

*Not my joke, discovered it in my old 90's Nintendo Power magazine*

*EDIT* just realized someone found the same gems that i did

https://www.reddit.com/r/zelda/comments/3t1qt4/some_classic_zelda_jokes_from_an_old_issue_of/

Stupid Autocorrect...

Always making me write things I didn't Nintendo!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is 10 blocks long and never had sex?

The line for the Nintendo Switch

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