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Rocker Jokes

Shock Rocker Alice Cooper says he's taken up Tap Dancing during lockdown, with online group lessons every Wednesday

He says he's making slow progress, but doing better than Elton John, who - after six weeks - is still standing.

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A mercurial rocker hands out backstage passes...

A mercurial rocker of a popular band was known to give out many backstage passes. Now this happens all the time in the music industry; however this rocker always handed out the same pass to many women, and never changed it. The pass was for Tulsa OK, and he'd give out the large TULSA backstage pas...

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The Punk Rocker

A middle-aged guy gets on a bus and sits down. He looks across from him and sees a punk rocker with spiked hair dyed every color of the rainbow - blue, red, yellow, green, orange.

The punk rocker notices the guy gawking at him and says, "What's a matter, old man? Didn't you ever do anything...

Dear redditors, I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision.

I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."r&...

How many Punk Rockers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, Punk Rock doesn’t change anything...

Why did the punk rocker cross the road?

He had a chicken stapled to his face.

An old woman was sitting in her rocker by the fireplace one night when all of a sudden a genie appeared and promised to grant one wish.

An old woman was sitting in her rocker by the fireplace one night when all of a sudden a genie appeared and promised to grant one wish. She thought about it for quite awhile then looking down at her faithful cat Tom, she asked the genie to transform the pet into a handsome prince who would love her...

What's the difference between funnel cake and a punk rocker's hairdo?

One is fried dough and the other is a dyed fro

What's a moth pit?

It's where you find all the heavy metal rockers with lisps.

Bill used to be a punk rocker in the 80’s. These days he’s got grown kids, he makes crocks at the pottery and loves to make up puns.

Now, he’s a pun crocker.

Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain really did have so much in common.

Because both were successful punk rockers, who are most well known for killing Kurt Cobain.

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How do you know if a lightbulb is a prostitute?

Its been screwed in and out by teams of scientists, skateboarders, narcissists, every one of the human races, Vietnam vets, Grateful Dead fans, computer scientists, Army Rangers, stoners, Yankee fans, dead babies, roaming hippies, alchoholics, cops, Comcast employees, Jedis, Dragonball-Z characters,...

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Trip to the Doc

This old man in his eighty's got up and was putting on his coat.

His wife said "Where are you going?"

I'm going to the doctor.

Why, are you sick?

No" , "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."

So his wife got up out of her rocker
and was putting o...

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The old couple

An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat
.
His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, 'Where are you going?'

He replies, 'I'm going to the doctor.'

She says, 'Why, are you sick?'

He says, 'Nope, I'm going to...

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An old married couple

An ancient old couple were sitting in their rockers on their front porch, reflecting on life. Suddenly, the woman gets up and smacks the old man so hard he tumbles off the porch onto the ground.
"What was that for?" he asked.
"That's for having such a tiny penis!" she answered.
He gets u...

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room

when a young woman with purple punk rocker Mohawk hair, sporting a variety of tattoos and wearing strange clothing was admitted to the ER. It was quickly determined she had acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery.
When completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff not...

An elderly couple were sitting on their front porch...

When, suddenly, a young man comes flying down the old dirt road on his new motorcycle, as loud as can be. He was yelling with excitement and having the time of his life.

The old man jumps up out of his rocker and runs into the house. He emerges a few seconds later with his rifle and points it...

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Dusty Hill Blinked his eye open.

His head felt fuzzy. His eyes sticky. Dusty Hill Blinked his eyes open. "Wake up Dusty" said a familiar voice. His eyes focused, his brain whirled. It couldn't be who it seemed to be. Jimi mother fucking hendrix?

.

"Wake up Dusty. It's showtime!" Said the coolest voice ev...

"I'm NOT a window cleaner!"

(Inspired by IT crowd)

One gloomy day in London a man by the name of Roy walks in a park, taking a short break from his job in an IT department. Suprisingly, he runs into an old school friend named Alister during his walk, and they catch up. Alister is a local writer for a very famous publish...

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Medical Humor

1...A man comes into the ER and yells . . .'
My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.'
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab,
lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one.
...

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