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What do you call a man with a small penis?

Justin

Have you heard? Melinda Gates, Mackenzie Scott, and Justine Musk are starting their own rocket company!

They are calling it Space-Ex’s and their rockets are guaranteed to go pren-up up up.

My name's Justin

Boy : My name's Justin

Girl : Did I ask?

Boy : Justin Case

Justin Timberlake to star in Dark Crystal reboot

Working title: "Bringing Skeksis Back"

Justin Timberlake is bad at geography

He sings this song, "Crimea River", but I checked, and Crimea is a peninsula, not a river.

[OC] Justin Bieber wanted to go on vacation and not be recognised by anyone, so he totally changed his look. He even legally changed his name:

Justin Case.

Lebron James is like Justin Timberlake.

No matter how good he his, he will never be Michael.

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Vladimir Putin is hosting a summit with Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, and Justin Trudeau.

As a part of the summit, Putin takes the three leaders to a wilderness area outside of Moscow and dismisses the press corps, and a large wolf in a cage is brought out.


"Friends, this savage wolf was trapped and brought from the wilds of Siberia just yesterday. I want to show you what ki...

Justin Timberlake admitted to being dyslexic.

Take a moment to let that N'Sync

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Why did Britney claim to be a virgin?

Because her first boyfriend was Justin.

I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it.

You never know when you might need a nail.

Once upon a time in the Caribbean...

Two prawns were swimming around. The first one was called Justin and the second one was called Kristian. They were continually being chased and threatened by the sharks that inhabited the area.

Eventually Justin had had enough. He said to Kristian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was...

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An old Justin Wilson joke

An old, crotchety farmer woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. The man clutched his chest and fumbled for the telephone to call an ambulance, fearing that he was having a heart attack.

Upon arriving at the hospital, the man, stable but still in quite a bit of pain, was greeted ...

The largest condom factory in the States burned down.

President Trump was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.

"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of ...

To be on the safe side

What did the Caseys name their third boy, whom they had just to keep them company in the rare event that their first two children died young?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Justin Casey

Justin and I are taking a course on hosting the news [OC]

"You know, Justin and I are taking a course on hosting the news"

"you don't say! Wait, which Justin?"

"*This* Justin!

(OC: I thought on that while commenting on another Justin pun, but wouldn't be surprised if I'm not the first one to think of that)

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High School Bully

The guy who picked on me all through high school and then became a millionaire just placed a delivery order at KFC.

Now I get the last laugh. I gave him original recipe and he ordered extra crispy. Checkmate Justin, you fucking loser

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The principal at our school once gave detention to a student for illegally downloading Justin Bieber songs online for free.

Even worse, he expelled another student who actually *paid* for his album.

What's the same as Justin Timberlake?

Recentlyentered Woodwater

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Rihanna, Usher and Justin Bieber were walking over a bridge..........

Rihanna trips and gets her head stuck between the railings.


Without a sideways glance, Usher pulls aside her G-String and fucks her senseless.


He stands back and tells Justin, "Your turn!"


Justin burst out into tears.


"Whats wrong?", asks Usher.

...

I accidentally clicked on a pop-up link that said, “Free Justin Bieber tickets inside!”

Thankfully it was just a virus.

James Charles, Justin Bieber, and bill gates were stranded on an island 100 miles away from shore and one by one they tried to swim off the island

First bill gates swam out 15 miles but then got tired and drowned. Next James Charles swam out 25 miles but got tired and drowned. Finally Justin Bieber swam out 50 miles and got tired and swam all the way back.

In the shark infested waters of the Caribbean, two prawns, one called Justin and the other called Christian are discussing the pressures of being a preyed-upon prawn. “I hate being a prawn,” says Justin. “I wish I were a shark.”

Suddenly, a mysterious cod appears. “Your wish is granted,” he says. Instantly, Justin becomes a shark. Horrified, Christian swims away, afraid that his former friend might eat him. As time passes, Christian continues to avoid Justin, leaving the shrimp-turned-maneater lonely and frustrated. So...

My friend Justin always says “i’m justin” even tho nobody asks. I asked why and he said...

Justin case

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I left two Justin Beiber tickets in my car and

some bastard broke in and left two more.

Congratulations to Justin Trudeau on the results of the Canadian Election

He always did want to be a minority.

When I heard Justin Bieber has Lyme disease, I almost felt sorry for the annoying, creepy little parasite.

Can't say the same about Bieber though.

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Liberal party leader Justin Trudeau attended the Assembly of First Nations annual summer meeting in Whitehorse.

Trudeau said he wasn't there to speak to the chiefs but to listen.


Then he spoke for almost two hours on his success in bringing the Liberal Party back into the hearts of the Canadian people and how he was going to legalize marijuana and the many ways that he was going to help the Firs...

I just got an email with the subject “Just $50 to see Justin Bieber Live!”

I thought, “Why am I supposed to pay the ransom?”

I feel sorry for Justin Bieber.

He's had to go to every Justin Bieber concert.

Justin told me my mama was so fat she had a gravitational orbit ...

I told him he doesn’t understand how physics works, cause everyone has a gravitational orbit.

Then I informed him his dad is so massive that his gravitational orbit is so large, not even light can escape it — and that’s why he hasn’t seen his dad in 20 years!

How long will Justin Trudeau have to apologize?

Until he's black in the face

PSA: IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL SAYING, "You've won two free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!" DO NOT OPEN IT.

It contains two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert.

In 2002 Justin Timberlake made a hit song about Eastern European waterways.

It specifically talks about a river in Crimea.

(edit: I originally got my Justins mixed up, thanks for the comments :) )

What did Justin Trudeau say to a black guy?

"You must tell me who does your makeup, its really well done!"

If Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau were drowning

If Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau were drowning and you could only save one of them, where would you and Justin Trudeau go for lunch?

If Donald Trump and Kim-Jong Un were drowning and you could only save one of them, where would you and Justin Trudeau go for lunch?

Today my friend told me he likes justin bieber. He got hit by a bus.

Now i lost my bus licence.

(Recent) Justin Trudeau did pretty well in school...

...But as soon as he got to the "yes/no answers" section of the exams, he couldn't answer the questions and accidentally apologized to the indigenous people on behalf of someone else at a different period in time.

Ed : What should be the name of our song, Justin?

Justin : I don't care

Ed : Perfect

Justin : What do you mean?

Justin Trudeau walks into a Royal Bank to cash a cheque.

As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ma'am, could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Cashier: "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"
Trudeau: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Justin Trudeau, t...

What do you call a line of people gathered to roast Justin Bieber?

Bieberqueue.

I don't care what the liberal media says about the election. Come January, my national leader isn't going to change, and his name starts with T, R, and U.

It's Justin Trudeau. I'm Canadian.

Justin Bieber has said, "I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation, but people just don't understand me."

By a curious co-incidence, Kurt Cobain, contacted in a seance, said, "I felt like the Justin Bieber of my generation, so I killed myself."

I just received an email titled $50 TO SEE JUSTIN BIEBER LIVE

I'm really the wrong person to email for these kind of ransoms.

Finally Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber team up for a song and even the title is perfect...

“I don’t care”

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom?

He farts

Sad news to share: my dad just contracted COVID, and lost his sense of taste.

He's been listening to a lot of Justin Bieber.

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If Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Justin Bieber were in an elevator with me and I only had two bullets, I would...

..wonder why I didn't bring a fucking gun!

What is Justin Timberlake's favorite body of water?

Crimea River

I've got all of Justin Biebers CDs......

...and if I can get passed his home security again I'll have all his dvds as well.

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When I was growing up, I went to school with a boy named Justin Reimer.

Now, Justin's father was a Supreme Court Justice, and like father like son, Justin was the head of every political club in our school. Graduation came, he was accepted into Harvard's School of Law (to no one's surprise), and that was the last I saw of him. Or so I thought...

Twenty years late...

Justin Bieber is like winter.

Kind of cute and exciting in the beginning, but after its all said and done you wish he would have stayed in Canada.

How do you know Justin Bieber is Canadian?

Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.

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I heard that R Kelly criticised Justin Bieber's music.

He pissed off a lot of little girls.

I just told my friend that Justin is the PM of Canada but he didn't believe me.

It's true though.

My name is Justin, but i've always felt like a Justine inside.

At least that's what my dad told me.

What's Justin Timberlakes favorite part of Eastern Europe?

The Crimea River.

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Why doesn't Justin Bieber like Sports Authority?

Because he likes Dicks.

Justin Bieber....

I have recently changed the sound of my alarm clock to "Justin Bieber - Baby". Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day, so I don't have to listen to it.

I listen to Justin Bieber when working...

White noise helps me focus.

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The great detective Herlock Sholmes was hired to investigate the disappearance of one of the most important political figures in the nation.

He was quickly briefed on the current situation: at two in the morning, a young woman named Andrea had been captured by an unknown party. Now normally, a kidnapping wouldn’t be something to call in the great Herlock Sholmes for, but Andrea was a special case.

In the nation of Modgasia, the go...

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Breaking news...Justin Trudeau just announced a plan to build a wall between the US and Canada, with the US paying for the fence.

...yeah just as fucking stupid as as it sounds:(

I was going to post a witty joke about Justin Trudeau.

But even for reddit it was too low-brow

What’s the best first name for a news anchor that breaks a lot of big stories?

This: Justin.

What's the difference between Justin Trudeau and a baker?

While a dozen can go from 12 to 13, it's the other way around for the regions of Canada.

RIP ALBERTA

So apparently Justin Timberlake is going to write a song for all the people that have been devastated by the crisis in Ukraine.

It's going to be called 'Crimea River'.

Justin Beiber fell off stage last night at a concert in Canada.

He suffered only minor injuries according to his gynecologist.

Justin Bieber

The new Justin Bieber 3-D movie is amazing.

It's like you could almost reach out and punch him.

Inspired by Ye and the Rock, Justin Timberlake decides to run for president

And the first thing he decides to do once elected is try to make things with the Russians the same as once before, and tries to make them give up Crimea. But Putin and the gang are having none of it. In an attempt to make a compromise with them, Justin proposes a sort of dam which would allow Russia...

What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house?

Nothing, Michael liked boys.

Justin Bieber is on a game show...

He is asked the question; "what is one of the most popular pieces of clothing in India?" Bieber's mind is racing, well as fast as his mind can race, but the timer buzzes. Time is up.
Put out, Bieber cries out, "Is it too late to say sari?"

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The other day, I was chillin' at home, and all of a sudden, Justin Bieber came on the radio...

First of all, how the hell did the little bastard even get in my house?

And secondly, couldn't he have at least wiped off the radio afterwards?

Seriously, the younger generation just don't have any manners!

Justin Bieber was caught hanging out around Selena Gomez's house.

Trespassito.

Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau run a 100-meter race...

Trudeau easily overtakes Trump and wins.

Minutes later, the White House tweets a press note:

"President Trump won prestigious silver in US-Canada race. The Canadian showed up second-to-last."

Last election, I voted for the party with the red colour

I don’t know why, but the blue party was just one of the most unappealing, disgusting political parties I had ever seen, with the weakest leader ever. The policies they presented were going to basically ruin everything I had.



I voted for Justin Trudeau.

At what time was Justin Trudeau eaten by a monster?

Ate P.M.

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What do Justin Timberlake and Theon Greyjoy have in common?

A dick in a box

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Justin Biebers music saved my life

I was in a coma after a bad car accident and the nurse decided to start playing some Justin bieber... I woke up and turned that shit off.

Dear Justin Bieber haters, please respect him

I owe him my life. Last year August, i had been in a coma for 6 months. Then one day my nurse turned on the radio to his songs. So i woke up and turned it off..

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I heard Justin Bieber has an 8 inch cock

But it's in his ass and belongs to Usher

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My daughter and her boyfriend went to their room

Shortly after I heard "Baby baby oh! And I rushed towards the room. Thank god I said to myself as they were just having sex and not listening to Justin Beiber.

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A man is sitting in his living room when he hears: baby baby baby ohh yeah coming from his sons room.

He yells " is that Justin Bieber?!" The son yells back "No dad, its just porn!" The dad thanks God.

So I think I have the corona virus.

One of the symptoms is a loss of taste, and for a brief moment I thought Justin Bieber was talented.

A young man named Theseus moves to a lakeside fishing village looking for work

When he arrives, he finds one of the residents, Justin, is interested in going out and seeing the world, and wants to sell his fishing boat to fund that trip. Thinking that it might be a good way to make a living, Theseus buys the boat and spends the next few years learning the trade, establishing a...

I heard a rumour about the Canadian Prime Minister

Not sure if it’s Trudeau.

Update 1: There are some rumours that are Justin.

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