My project manager posted in linkedin 'When I die,I want my developers to carry my coffin so that they can put me down one last time"

I commented on that post

"For the first time ,you have mentioned the requirements clearly".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Recently applied to a job as a back-end developer and they asked for some samples of my work.

For some reason, they were not pleased with the album of ass-pics from my previous clients.

Why do Python developers wear glasses?

Because they can't "C".

Two developers are working on a simulation when it suddenly goes haywire before returning to normal

Dev 1: Did you see that? I think the simulation just broke for a second.

Dev 2: I think it's more accurate to say it glitched.

Dev 1: Dude, I'm not about to argue over sim antics.

Why can’t software developers distinguish between Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 == DEC 25

(hint: octal and decimal are numerical bases 8 and 10 respectively, happy holidays!)

Was reading a "People Who Passed Away In 2020" article and saw that Larry Tesler, one of the co-developers of the basic copy and paste function for computers, died in February.

Was reading one of those "People Who Passed Away In 2020" articles and saw that Larry Tesler, one of the co-developers of the basic copy and paste function for computers, died in February.

Was reading one of those "People Who Passed Away In 2020" articles and saw that Larry Tesler, one of the...

A HTML developer was walking down the street when he was greeted by a donkey.

"Hello Mr Programmer", the donkey said, "how are you?".

"mighty fine, thank you donkey", the HTML dev replied.

Immediately the donkey started crying.

"What's the matter little friend?" the HTML dev asked.

"I called you a programmer, at least you could call me horse" t...

How many software developers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Zero, thats a hardware issue.

Are there any iOS developers reading this that can help me with something?

Just kidding, I know they’re all too busy for Reddit after today’s announcement, and are struggling to update their apps for tomorrows iOS 14 release.

What web developers like bugs?

Spiders

Someone just asked me if I was interested in a job as a full-time PHP Developer.

I said, "Not even remotely."

Why do frontend developers eat lunch alone?

Because they don't know how to join tables.

If you lost your erection every time a game developer got accused of workplace harassment

Ubisoft

An EA developer dies and gets do decide if wheather he wants to go to heaven or to hell.

First, he checks out heaven and sees that it's pretty standard stuff, angels, clouds, peace, but nothing really interesting.

Then he checks out hell. Really cool parties going on all over the place, infinite amount of drinks and drugs, beautiful women everywhere.

Obviously, he chooses ...

A Software Developer walks into a bar

A Software Developer walks into a bar

Bartender: "you having the usual?"

Software Developer thinks for a while
and then says "Yes"

Bartender: "What took you so long to answer?"

Software Developer: "Sorry, I got cache issues."

Why are the developers of NoMansSky called Hellogames?

Because you never get a goodbuy from them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the web developer say after oral sex?

</head>

My software developer candidate brought his pet to the interview

He produced perfectly valid Python.

My software developer friends tell me to stop exposing them to COVID-19 jokes...

.. but I tell them it's the best way to achieve nerd immunity.

When I was younger I wanted to be a film developer

But then I realized I didn't want to sit in a dark room alone with a bunch of negative people

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call a developer that hasn't had sex in a while?

Full sack developer.

How can you tell the difference between an introvert and an extrovert developer?

An introvert developer looks at his shoes when he is talking to you, an extrovert developer looks at your shoes.

What would you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs?

Spider

What do you call a person that does squats every day

A back-end developer

If life is a game, then God is the developer.

And I'm the bug tester...

Why did the developer go broke?

Because he used up all his cache.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wow why did my programmer wife grow big boobs?

Because She is a Full-stack Developer

What do you call a web developer that likes English?

A pro grammar

Why don’t developers carry guns?

They have troubleshooting.

How many software developers does it take to change a light bulb?

This question reveals that you are still thinking waterfall. For a more agile approach, ask e.g. "When will the scrum master call the janitor?"

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