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Developer Jokes

Why are the developers of NoMansSky called Hellogames?

Because you never get a goodbuy from them

Why does developer love dark theme?

Because light attracts bugs

A SQL developer walks into a bar...

He approaches two tables and asks, "May I join you

What does a bad developer and my mom have in common?

Both pushed a disaster.

A software developer walks into a pub

A software developer walks into a pub:

Runs into a pub,

Crawls into a pub,

Dances into a pub,

flies into a pub,

and orders:

1 Beer

2 Beers

"qwertyuiop" Beers

Beers

\-1 Beers

Content, he leaves

A customer walks in and...

How can you tell a developer from an astronomer?

You ask them what does JWT stands for

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees,

then names the streets after them.

What does the software developer say when he gives someone an STD?

Uh-oh, I deployed a bug.

Tom, a successful Real estate developer was 65 and just married Candy, 44 years his junior

After they came back from their honeymoon they did a party for all of their friends. At the party one of Tom friends asked him:

“Hey man I know you got money and all but how did you land a woman so good looking and so young?”

Tom replies: “well, to be honest I lied about my age and hea...

Two software developers

So, there were two friends who had worked together as software developers for a long time. One day, one of them died of a heart attack. The night after the funeral, the remaining guy had a dream in which his dead friend told him that he had two pieces of news - one good and one bad. The good news wa...

An EA developer dies and gets do decide if wheather he wants to go to heaven or to hell.

First, he checks out heaven and sees that it's pretty standard stuff, angels, clouds, peace, but nothing really interesting.

Then he checks out hell. Really cool parties going on all over the place, infinite amount of drinks and drugs, beautiful women everywhere.

Obviously, he chooses ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gamer walks into a bar...

...and asks the barkeep "you got a console to play on?" And the barkeep says "yeah, but only have one game for it." The gamer shrugs, orders a cider and sits down to play.

While he's playing another guy walks in and says "hey, that guy with the cider is playing my game!" And the barkeep asks...

My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.

We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the web developer say after oral sex?

</head>

Why are jokes about game developers always so funny?

They work on so many levels

Everyone wants to be a developer or programmer nowadays...

But the only soft wear I'm interested in is a cardigan.

This new software developer is so socially awkward …

… he failed the Turing Test.

A HTML developer was walking down the street when he was greeted by a donkey.

"Hello Mr Programmer", the donkey said, "how are you?".

"mighty fine, thank you donkey", the HTML dev replied.

Immediately the donkey started crying.

"What's the matter little friend?" the HTML dev asked.

"I called you a programmer, at least you could call me horse" t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

DeveloperJokes

Fixing someone else's code is like fixing someone else's relationship. "What the fuck lynda, I didn't even know what I did in the first place, Don't ask me to fix what you did."

What is the best advice for new software developers?

Google it.

what is the difference between java and kotlin Android developers?

Java developers have no fun

A developer tried to pull weeds out of his garden...

...but he didn't have root access.

What is a web developer's favorite sport?

<body> building

All web developers hate finding bugs in their work.

Except spiders

Why did the developer go broke?

Because he used up all his cache.

A Software Developer walks into a bar

A Software Developer walks into a bar

Bartender: "you having the usual?"

Software Developer thinks for a while
and then says "Yes"

Bartender: "What took you so long to answer?"

Software Developer: "Sorry, I got cache issues."

A developer finds a talking frog.

It says "Kiss me and I will become a princess". But he just puts she into his jacket and keeps on working.

During Lunch the frog jumps out of his jacket and says again "Kiss me and I will become your princess". But he just puts her back again.

In the evening she asks "Why won't you kis...

If life is a game, then God is the developer.

And I'm the bug tester...

Why was the JavaScript developer sad?

Because he didn't Node how to Express himself

Why was the Valve developer crying?

He was having a Half-Life crisis.

My software developer candidate brought his pet to the interview

He produced perfectly valid Python.

If you give a developer a cookie...

they'll tell you why it's really better to use local storage.

Why do Java developers wear glasses?

Because they can't C#.

What kind of web developer likes to find bugs?

A Spider

When I was younger I wanted to be a film developer

But then I realized I didn't want to sit in a dark room alone with a bunch of negative people

How does a software developer call the sunrise?

Sunget

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Recently applied to a job as a back-end developer and they asked for some samples of my work.

For some reason, they were not pleased with the album of ass-pics from my previous clients.

A software developer dies and comes to the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter looks at the screen of his PC and says: "Sorry, I cannot let you in. There are bugs in the enrollment system and since you are a software developer, you must fix them first."

So the software developer takes a seat at St. Peter's desk and tries to fix the bugs for hours and hours, ...

Shortest joke a software developer can tell:

“I’ll be ready soon.”

How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a hardware problem.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call a developer that hasn't had sex in a while?

Full sack developer.

How can you tell the difference between an introvert and an extrovert developer?

An introvert developer looks at his shoes when he is talking to you, an extrovert developer looks at your shoes.

Why do frontend developers eat lunch alone?

Because they don't know how to join tables.

What do you call a game developer with erectile dysfunction?

Ubisoft

Why can’t software developers distinguish between Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 == DEC 25

(hint: octal and decimal are numerical bases 8 and 10 respectively, happy holidays!)

Someone just asked me if I was interested in a job as a full-time PHP Developer.

I said, "Not even remotely."

Programmers make bad dating partners

A JavaScript developer will make empty promises and not call you back.

A Java developer will act classy but he’ll treat you as an object.

And a Python developer will take up all the space and everything will move too slow anyway.

A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer are all found guilty of treason and sentenced to death by guillotine.

# This comment deleted to protest Reddit's API change (to reduce the value of Reddit's data).

Please see [these](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609092523/https://old.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/144f6xm/apollo_will_close_down_on_june_30th_reddits/) [threads](https://web.archive.org/web/2...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you ever wonder if the web developers behind Pornhub were inspired by Kevin Costner & Field of Dreams

If you build it, they will cum

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