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I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines. He’s a Singer songwriter…

…or sew it seams

What's the difference between a puppy and a singer-songwriter?

Eventually the puppy stops whining.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my parents I wanted to be a songwriter...

They told me I'd be Bach!! I didn't realize what the meant until I moved back into their basement.

As a musician, people asked me what my secret was to moving on from my ex so quickly.

I told them I just did what any good songwriter would do.


How do creepy songwriters get paid?

Per verse

I had a terrible nightmare

It was quite strange. I dreamt that the Canadian singer-songwriter Abel Makkonen Tesfaye had conquered the world and instituted a horrible system of forced labor. There was no alternative.

Everybody was workin' for The Weeknd.

Kurt Cobain hated “Smells Like Teen Spirit” so much...

He killed the songwriter

In 1972, American singer/songwriter, Bill Withers, originally wrote a song for a new Broadway version of Peter Pan. In the musical, Hook has become very discouraged by his lack of success in defeating Peter and the Lost Boys, so his right hand man sings to him and offers a shoulder to hold on to...

Lean on Smee.

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