UPJOKE
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So Tekashi69 could face life in prison

Which is nice because we might finally get to see a mumble rapper completing a sentence

Rapper Eminem has tested positive for COVID-19

In a statement released by doctors, it has been been revealed the following symptoms: his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. Not to mention that there was vomit on his sweater already.

Initial testing suggests that the cause is: Mom's Spaghetti.

What do rappers and vegans have in common?

Fake beef

What’s a rappers favourite toy?

A yo yo!

What do rappers like to add to their coffee?

Two pack sugar.

What would be Trump's rapper name?

McDonalds

How do you beat a diabetic rapper in a rap battle

Candy Bars

Who is Thomas the Tank Engine's favorite rapper?

Choo Trains

What do you call a rapper whose half black and half white?

50 percent

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An aspiring rapper finds a genie in a bottle...

"What are your three wishes?" the genie asks?

"First, I want to bring back Tupac and Biggie," he says. POOF! Tupac Shakir and Notorious B.I.G. appear beside him.

"Next I want to us all to live in Snoop's crib." POOF! The three are kicking it inside Snoop Dogg's huge mansion.
...

Person 1 says: I like Eminem

Person 2 says: Well, I prefer Skittles.
Person 1 says: No- I meant the rapper.
Person 2 says, confused: Why would you eat the wrapper?

Who’s a sloth’s favorite rapper?

Lay-Z

Name a rapper with small abdominal muscles

2Pac

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm a big fan of underground rappers

Such as Tupac, Eazy-E, XXXTentacion, and Juice Wrld

What do you call a rapper that smells nice?

Post Cologne

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rapper 50 cent just came out as bisexual…

He’s now called 50/50.

Why didn't the fisherman make it as a rapper?

His lines were okay, but his hooks were debaitable.

What does Santa the Rapper say at the beginning of his concerts?

"Where my ho ho ho's at?"

What do you call a female rapper?

38 Cent

What do you call a mentally challenged rapper?

Why a rap autist of course.

What is rapper Eminem's favorite vaccine?

J and J, cause you only get one shot!

I told my wife that Will Smith is the best actor/rapper of all time.

She said that’s Ludacris

what's the difference between a rapper and a country singer?

Country singers keep their hoes in the shed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a mumble rapper and a politician have in common?

both of their careers depend on incomprehensible bullshit

What do you call a Jewish rapper?

Doctor Dreidel

Why do good rappers make bad farmers?

Because they can only make sick beets

What's a Russian's favourite rapper?

50 Cent

Or as they say in Russia, 10 million rubles

What do you call a suspicious Arab rapper?

Salim Shady

Who is the cheesiest rapper?

Feta Wap 🧀

A failed rapper, a failed rock star, and a mediocre country singer walk into a bar

He tells the bartender "anything but Budweiser."

(NSFW) Did you hear about the rapper that only raps on her period?

She has a mean flow

What do you call a rapper that makes superhero movies?

MC U

Did you hear about the rapper who made a killing in the stock market?

Lil' Nas Daq

Who is an auctioneer's favorite rapper?

MC Hammer

Did you hear about the turban-wearing rapper?

He was laying down some Sikh beats.

Rappers hate Trump...

Nothing rhymes with orange.

who is the best candy (w)rapper?

Eminem!

What do you call a cheese rapper?

Prov Malone.

What do you call an Egyptian rapper with bad gas?

>!Tootin' Common!<

What are Mexican girl’s favorite American rapper?

Jajaja rule.

What's the difference between a mumble rapper and a convict...

One of them can finish a sentence.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you only had one beer, you’re not an alcoholic. If you make one song on SoundCloud, you’re not a rapper.

But I have sex with one guy and now I’m gay?

Why do rappers always buy small shoes?

'Cause they all have lil ft.

What do you call an American rapper who wears an open-fronted knitted sweater?

Cardi Gan

Mumble rappers are dying off

Lil' by Lil'

The rapper 50 Cent is known by many names

For instance, in Russia they call him 1352 Ruble

**Edit:** Make that 1459 Ruble

What do you call a Dothraki rapper?

Wiz Khaleesi

Why did the rapper go to Whole Foods?

He heard they had fresh beets.

What do you call distinguished, highly respected rapper?

Eminent

What do mumble rappers from the East coast rap about?

I don’t know...Their verses aren’t Pacific.

Post Malone may be a popular rapper, but have you heard of his long-lost cousin Ho Malone?

His most popular track is about some kid named Kevin who has to fight off burglars in his house.

We Turkish people love American rapper 50 cent!

Or how we call him in Turkey - 1 lira

**two days after**


I meant 3 lira!


**another 2 days later**


I meant 5 lira!

What do you call three rappers on the border of North and South Korea?

RUN-DMZ

"I saw a famous rapper urinating onto a gravestone."

"P. Diddy?"

"Yes, onto a gravestone."

What do you call it when a rapper attacks a loved one?

beats by Dr. Dre

A struggling SoundCloud rapper decides to get a job as a farmer...

He now produces his own beets

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I decided to give my 3 year old sister a rapper name

She’s lil shit

Why were dragons called rappers during ancient times?

Because they used to spit fire.

At my school there’s a rapper named MC Squared

The science teacher just calls him E

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Due to inflation, the rapper Chamillionaire is changing his name to ChaMiddleClass.

2 Chainz also announced that he’s changing his name, due to supply chain issues

A white rapper

Walks into sixteen bars

Do you know about the rapper that had an autoimmune disease?

Lupus Fiasco

My 83 year old grandfather is still trying to be a successful rapper, his name?

Two canes

Have you heard of that rapper who always complains about being single on Reddit?

I think his name was... Post-Alone?

My favorite rapper is 50 cent

Or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds.

I was going to make a joke on rappers

But I got diss-trackted

What rapper doesn't work out enough?

Tupac.

A rapper opened a burger joint in the Czech Republic

Now he boasts about how he makes fat Czechs.

Between Justin Bieber, Quavo, DJ Khaled, Chance the Rapper, and Me, who is the worst rapper?

That’s a No Brainer, I’m the One.

Did you know Zimbabwe loves the rapper 50 Cent?

Or as he's known there, 400 billion dollars.

What do you call a rapper skeleton

Machine gun Skelly

Whats Ben Shapiro's favourite rapper?

Logic.

What do you call a convention for lizard rappers?

A reptile diss function.

What kind of steak do SoundCloud rappers like?

Skirrrt steak.

My rapper name would be Medium Rare

Cus it’s kinda raw

What do you call a Soviet mumble rapper?

Stalean

Who is Han Solo's favorite rapper?

Tupacca

If I was a rapper,I would name myself Snickers

Because M&M is already taken.

What do you call an incontinent rapper?

Poo Stainz!

Where do rappers go to get pets?

Tha Dogg Pound

Have you heard about the female rapper who only battled during her menstrual cicle?

Thay say she has a mean flow

I’m tired of people calling me a rapper. It’s simply not true!

I always ask for my lovers’ consent.

Why did the rapper go back in time to 1009?

to drop his MIX tape.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One man he is rapper

He go to rap battle

He say to he enemy: i will make sick rap now

So what he do: he pull out chicken and salad and he put all in burrito bread and he roll and he say: here this wrap it is very tasty: eat it!!

He enemy: oh yes, this taste really good, it is a sick wrap!

so ...

What a Jewish rappers favorite bread?

Challah!

I want my rapper name to be 'Delayed Rambo'...

so that one day i can perform with A$AP Rocky.

Why can't rappers take holidays?

They always forget Tupac.

What did the baker say to the rapper?

"You can't have your cake and yeet it too."

Spanish speaking rappers are so vain.

They always talk about themselves: yo yo yo.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Who's your favorite underground rapper?

Mine personally is XXXTENTACION

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