This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Can the mods of this sub do a better job of monitoring who is allowed in here please?!

We have a new member, an elderly woman. She's been privately messaging people, sending them naked pictures of herself in nasty poses along with close ups of her unmentionables. She is offering an Iphone 11 in exchange for sexual favors. I am especially bothered because it turned out to be an Iphone ...

Ok Mods I want to know why my post was removed.

It's annoying because my fence keeps falling down.

A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 18 y/o daughter.

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the cake.

"Why not get it ordered from an upscale bakery?" his wife said.

So the father visited a ton of different bakeries a...

Can the mods of this sub explain as to why my posts were removed?

Now my fence has fallen over….

The r/jokes mods must be in the housing business

They keep re-moving

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend left me last week, so I posted all the nudes she ever sent me onto r/nudes.

The mods removed them though as they go against the rules.

They don't allow reposts.

Why did Reddit mods take down Darwin’s theory of evolution post?

The link was missing

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dad, a girl invited me over to her house (nswf) [i could not find the option to tag nsfw, someone please from mod team put nswf tag.]

"Oh that is great, Billy. But you should be careful, you are young and an STD or unwanted pregnancy is going to be devastating. Please, remember to wear a condom if the situation arises... Actually, no. I don't trust you, son. Put it on right now, because at the heat of the moment you will forget."<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife left me, so I posted all the nudes she ever sent me onto r/gonewild.

The mods removed them though as they go against the rules.

They don't allow reposts.

\[Not OC, but when I tried to give credit to the originator, whose name you'd never repeat in church, It got pulled immediately\]

[OC] Which road is most favourite of reddit mods ?







The Autobahn .

I got banned from /r/Jokes for posting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the mods of r/iamatotalpieceofshit cross the road?

To collect money from Joel Michael Singer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many reddit users does it take to replace a lightbulb?

1 to make a post about it,
4 to mention that its the wrong forum,
1 to post it to the right forum,
7 to suggest op should post it to the electronics forum,
2 to post it to the electronics forum,
1 mod to delete the second post,

3 to suggest an image post would have gathered mor...

They've found a cure for depression!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last Day Alive

My dad was ill and the doctor said this was his last day left to live. I was truly sad and was walking outside when I spotted a wishing well. Taking my chances I tossed in a quarter and wished his life would be extended. A r/jokes mod genie appeared out of the well and said " I hear your wish my son...

What do you call cancer when it achieves sentience?

A reddit mod.

(doubt this will prevent it form being deleted and myself banned, but this 'attack' is quite impersonal)

A Subway sandwich maker has a very eccentric regular customer.

The eccentric customer always orders a tuna sandwich, but heavily modified, made with an extra cup of mayo, smothered in chili peppers, red peppers, onions, and pickles, then toasted until it's burnt. It looks and smells disgusting and the worker dreads it when he sees that customer come in.
...

The year is 2028 and /r/Jokes is still going strong.

A new user gets on to /r/jokes and sees the most upvoted joke just says "28"

The second most upvoted joke says "3915"

The third most upvoted joke says "756"

He can't see why they're getting so many upvotes, so he comments "These aren't jokes, they're numbers"

The mod repl...

Mods removed my post from r/showerthoughts

I created a post titled “Falling in the shower can be fatal” but the mods removed it DESPITE having that thought in the shower.

So, not only am I missing out on Karma, but I STILL don’t know how to stop myself from bleeding out on the bathroom floor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried to ask a mod what his sexual orientation was...

But I couldn’t get a straight answer

How many Reddit mods does it take to change a lightbulb?

[removed]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An r/classicialmusic mod removed this one when I posted it. What's the difference between a bull and a symphony orchestra?

A bull has the horns in front and the asshole in back.

How many /r/news mods does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They like to keep their subscribers in the dark.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Y'know, sometimes I just really wanna talk shit about reddit mods.

[removed]

what's the similarity between mod and god ?

they both judge you on the basis of your karma.

I wrote a haiku about admins and mods

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[removed] [deleted] [removed]
[deleted] [removed]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mod at /r/winemaking dies.

Over at /r/winemaking, the mod died and the admins wanted to replace him with a winetaster. A blind drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. Fearing potential community backlash, the admin of the subreddit wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I participated in a joke writing competition on this sub three years ago.

The mods laid out 4 simple rules quite clearly:

1. For the following two days, all posts on this sub would be considered as entries for the competition.

2. The post with the most upvotes would be declared as the winner, i.e., the best joke. The number of upvotes until the end o...

Hey, wanna hear a joke about reddit mods

[This post has been deleted aggressively]

Why does a dominatrix make the best mod?

Because they can whip any sub into shape.

What does a Reddit mod and a hipster have in common?

Mods self-isolated before it was cool.

Little known fact, the mods of /r/Jokes are all actually Peruvian owls…

I think they're Inca hoots…

A calm, respected woman walks into a Pharmacy

As she walks in, she goes right up to the pharmacist, looks him straight into his eyes and said;

"I would like to buy some cyanide,"

The pharmacist asked her:

"why in the world do you need cyanide?"

She said:

"I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmaci...

I just found out about these things called "mods" that can alter game files.

They're absolutely game changing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The mods removed the previous joke that summited about my penis.

It was improperly tagged as long.

Why did the mod get fired from his job at the sperm bank?

He got caught drinking on the job.

Thank you everyone! As the newest mod of /r/news, I would like to say

[removed]

Three /r/Jokes mods walk in a bar..............

[removed]

I recently attempted to contact the mods of r/anarchy...

But I couldn't find any!

How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and...

The r/darkjokes mods

**B I G G A E**

A note to the mods

🎵

A reddit mod walks into a bar...

She promptly kicks everyone out, locks the doors and, declaring herself to be the bartender, proceeds to get drunk with power.

I have evidence that the mods on r/jokes are censoring posts they dont like! More info in post!

[removed]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between a joke and 5 dicks?

The mods can’t take a joke.

A man answered an ad that read "Hiring welders $18-$24 per hour"

When he arrived he was told he'd have to take a welding test. He turned in 2 sets of welds. One was a great weld, the other was a mess. When the boss asked him why he did this he replied "One is $18/hr, the other is $24/hr".


[Source (Not OP, I don't think)](https://www.facebook.com/groups...

Our two new mods, ElderCunningham and iBleeedorange

Hey guys,

Not too long ago we started advertising new moderator positions for /r/jokes, and after receiving a bunch of submissions, we found our two candidates.

I've asked them to write up a brief introduction for themselves.

First up is /u/iBleeedorange, who also mods /r/diablo...

r/Jokes is looking for a new Mod

We are getting little swamped with the queues and our lives, we could really use the help of a qualified individual.

Up-mods and down-mods don't matter in this thread, so don't try to push your app to the top.

Requirements:

* **An Active User** Being a Mod is hard work and will...

What did the mod say when he was wrong?

[BANNED]

I can't believe that my joke about The Who and The Kinks wasn't approved.

I've obviously upset the mods.

What happened to the joke that insulted the mods?

People laughed, because it was a good joke.

Got any cancer jokes for a good cause?

Hi everyone, I'm not sure if this is allowed here or not, but I didn't see any rule against it in the sidebar so here we go (Mods, if this isn't OK, sorry in advance).

My younger sister was diagnosed with cancer a few hours ago. Dark humor is a staple in our family, so we spent my visit in t...

Mod Announcement: Due to complaints from our fair-haired readers, blonde jokes are no longer allowed...

...because they couldn't read them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a Jokes Mod and a drunk Scottish lad fighting a picket fence? [OC]

The brighter one gets to tell his pals "aye, fuck'in took care of that wee-post boys!"

/r/Jokes is looking for Mods!

Sorry all! The time to apply is now over.


Well all, looks like we are growing again and in need of a few more mods. If you want to check out the details and apply, see the link below:

http://www.reddit.com/r/needamod/comments/24sqne/css_and_regular_2_mod_positions_opening_up_in/<...

I just found out the mods' password!

[removed]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My joke was removed for comparing Trump to Hitler

Apparently it's against the rules to make personal attacks on someone even after they've been dead for over 70 years.

What are the mods of r/radiohead called?

The Karma Police.

I told the mods about my idea to start a Harambe mega-thread.

But they shot it down.

[meta] Flair for jokes (a suggestion to the mods)

I had an idea occur to me, how about offer flair for jokes so that it can be tagged as an oldie but a goody or heard it from a friend or thought of this one myself, because some people seem like theyve heard a lot of stuff and complain every time they heard it again. It would help you not get let do...

Did you hear about the dyslexic Reddit mod?

[reomved]

I thought I'd found a perfect way to get to the top of r/Jokes.

Unfortunately the mods won't let me post a picture of you.

How to become a mod in one step

Step one: [deleted]

Two Mods walk into a bar...

And everyone PM's them on where their drinks are.

Top 10. jokes about mods and admins

1. [removed]

2. [removed]

3. [removed]

4. [removed]

5. [removed]

6. [removed]

7. [removed]

8. [removed]

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Reposts versus retellings. (Not a joke)

I just wanted to make a quick PSA about jokes.

Jokes are meant to be retold. A good joke gets told a thousand times, and spreads like a virus. Like a virus a joke will often mutate and change as it passes from person to person, often tweaked for better performance.

Now, what is the dif...

Haiku for the mods

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[removed] [deleted] [removed]
[deleted] [removed]

^^^^^^^^^^^yes ^^^^^^^^^^^it's ^^^^^^^^^^^a ^^^^^^^^^^^repost ^^^^^^^^^^^it's ^^^^^^^^^^^the ^^^^^^^^^^^first ^^^^^^^^^^^post ^^^^^^^^^^^I ^^^^^^^^^^^remember ^^^^^^^^^^^from ^^^^^^^^^^^this ^^^^^^^^^^^sub ^^^...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are people with diarrhoea the best mods?

They take so much shit that they can't give any.

Why isn't there a neutron mod in the Skyrim Steam Workshop?

Because there'd be no charge.

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