The tale of the blond horse back rider.

A young blonde woman decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into action.

As it gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror,...

To be or not to be a horse rider

That is equestrian

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The Black Rider is coming!

So a man is doing Route 66, road trippin’ through through western America when he finds a bar on the side of the road that has all the makings of an old spaghetti western. He decides he needs a drink.

He swings open the doors and asks the barman for a whiskey.

“We’re about to close” sa...

[OC] A man wakes up one morning not feeling well.

He decides to go and see the doctor because he has some symptoms he’s heard are related to the virus all over the news. On the way to his appointment, his car breaks down and he has to walk the rest of the way. He’s exhausted by the time he finally arrives at the Doctor’s office, 15 minutes late....

What do you call a sentient bike that throws its rider off again and again?

A vicious cycle.

A reporter in the old west.

An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). "Mind if I play?"

The others ...

A horse rider was riding along the road when he saw a person in a convertible going really fast

Finally the convertible stopped at a gas station. The rider came up and asked him, “Why are you driving so fast?”

The man responded,”my coolant system is broken, I drive fast to let the wind cool my engine.

The rider then rode off, pushing his horse faster and faster until finally it d...

A King had to go on a war but he was worried that his wife might cheat and leave him

He locked her in her room and gave the keys to his minister and ordered him that if I don't come back in 10 days then she is yours. Then the king left. After 20 mins as he was riding on his fast horse he heard someone coming from behind. He stopped for the man and once the other horse rider came c...

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A farmer is lazily laying on the ground...

Lounging in the morning sun next to his donkey when a man on a bike rides up and asks "Excuse me, do you have the correct time? My watch has stopped."

The farmer reaches over to his donkey, lifts it's testicles for a moment then says "It's 1:24"

The rider is taken aback, "Are you sur...

I decided to go out horse riding one afternoon on a horse I hadn’t rode before....

I wasn’t sure if the horse was ready for a rider just yet, so I slowly approached him, all the while talking gentle to the horse like I have always done when dealing with newer horses. I kept saying “easy boy” and I slowly reached out to pet him. The horse nervously kept its eyes on me, but he final...

How can you tell when someone is a vegan or a motorcycle rider?

They’ll tell you within the first 5 minutes of talking to them.

Border patrol stops a man on a bike

One day a bicycle rider stops at a border control.

On top of the man’s bike are two bags of powder like substances.

The border control Police demand that he open the bags so they can see what’s inside. When the man did cut the bags open, inside was nothing but sand.

The border c...

What does Johnny Depp, Dave Pirner and Matt Damon have in common?

They were all Winona Riders.

Three motorcycle riders walk into roadside restaurant...

A middle aged man sits inside and eats his dinner.

The first rider went to the man and burned out his cigarette on his plate.

The second rider spitted into his milk.

Finally, the third rider dropped his lunch on the floor and stepped on it.


Without saying a word, the ...

There's just one reason the car from the Dukes of Hazzard isn't as good as the car from Knight Rider...

General Lee speaking

Why don't Harley riders wear helmets?

If you spent $30,000 on a bike and $10,000 on apparel and people still thought you were a dweeb you would be suicidal too!

A Harley rider eating in a restaurant...

is checking out a gorgeous redhead. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket. The biker reaches up, snatches it out of the air, and hands it back to her.

“I am so embarrassed,” the woman says. “Please join me for dinner."

They enjoy a wonderful meal toget...

What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200’s?

Medieval Knievel

You have to have the skill of a world class bull rider to keep up with me in bed

You only have to ride me for 8 seconds and then it’s over

The Biker and the Lion

A Harley Biker is sitting on his Harley, drinking a beer, by the Zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.
<...

Did you know that the number of legs in the air of a horse statue indicate how its rider died?

If there are no legs in the air, the rider survived the war.
If there is one leg in the air, the rider was mortally wounded and died after a battle.
If there are two legs in the air, the rider was killed in battle.
If there are three legs in the air, the rider died in a tragic circus ...

What do bull riders and I have in common?

We both struggle to last 8 seconds

My wife says I should be a bull rider...

Since I'm lucky to last 8 seconds...

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NSFW Sex joke: New sex position called the bull rider.

Ride a girl doggy style, grab her hair, and whisper in her ear "I have aids".

See how long you can last.

I saw a bumper sticker today that said “War is NEVER the answer.”

And I thought, unless someone asked me to name the band that sings the song “Low Rider.”

How do people at rodeos heckle the riders?

Moooo!

10 best one-liners from the 2019 Edinburgh fringe

**"I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have Florets".**

The gag won 41% of the vote.

## Best of the rest

Ten jokes made the 2019 shortlist. Here are the next nine:

* "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they'r...

A cowboy walks into a livery stable and asks for a horse...

"I need a horse, but I'm short on cash. What can I get for $25?" the cowboy asks the owner.

"Well, for fifteen I can give you 'ol Bill. He's seen a few years but he's still a fast horse" replies the owner.

"Why so cheap then?"

"Well, he ain't so good at listening. You see, he ge...

Locked My Keys In The Car

A devout lady was feeling drowsy while driving home on a quiet highway, so she pulled over, and got out for a walk and some fresh air. When she returned to her car, she was horrified to discover that she had locked her keys inside. She searched her pockets but found nothing to help; no keys; no ph...

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There once lived a great detective...

There once lived a great detective named Stewart. He was the best detective of his time. But he was no ordinary detective. He could solve every case he encountered with the help of the magical powers bestowed to him by a fairy.

The fairy gave him the power to gain insight on any case by think...

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A greyhound walks into a bar...

A greyhound walks into a bar and takes a look around. There are three horses sitting at the counter chatting away, he decides to sit close enough to overhear their conversation.

The first horse says, “I have an incredible story for you guys! I was racing last Friday, two minutes in and I am l...

A very Canadian joke

It's Grey Cup weekend in Vancouver... the Stampeders are playing the Argonauts at BC Place, and fans are flying in from all over the country to watch the game and join in the festivities.

It's kind of chaotic at the domestic arrivals terminal at YVR. Air Canada and WestJet flights are arrivin...

Two Englishmen crash in the desert...

They begin to trek through the sands trying to find help. After a day and night of walking the two men are dying from thirst and so incredibly hungry when they spot 3 camels crest the nearest dune and head towards them.

One man turns to the other and says, "Thank goodness, we're saved!" and b...

An Easterner is visiting the West, and sees a man rounding up cattle on horseback.

He's wearing a ball cap, t-shirt, and tennis shoes. When the rider gets closer the guy waves him down and asks, "Hey, are you a cowboy?" The cowboy answers," Yep, I sure am." The guy asks, "Where's your Stetson, belt buckle, and cowboy boots?" The cowboy answers, "I don't want people to think I'm a ...

After the Texan wedding ...

... the newlywed cowboy rides home with his bride. It's a long way back to his ranch, and the horse has to carry both him and his bride, so it stumbles, nearly throwing off the two riders. The cowboy calmly straightens up the reins, waits for the horse to gather and says nothing, except, very calmly...

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A cowboy walks into a saloon

Its empty but for the barkeep.

"Where is everyone?" cowboy asked

"They ran. Hiding. The black rider is coming" said the old man

"Why are they afraid of the black rider, whos he" puzzled cowboy asked

"He will kill any men, women and some say even children that he sees on...

Tommy at the rodeo

A city slicker, named Tommy, was on vacation in Texas. His hosts, being very hospitable, invited him to the local rodeo especially to see the greatest bucking bronco of all time, Blue Steel.

Blue Steel was famed and renowned throughout the West for being the toughest meanest horse there ever...

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I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business, patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic.

A carload of Mexican cartel gang members pulled up next to me in their low-rider. Six sets of eyeballs set in faces covered with tattoos stared menacingly at me and there commenced some spirited discussion between the members and I seemed to be the subject of it. I was getting nervous and had just c...

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What do you do?

You're riding your horse along a narrow road and to your right there's a steep cliff. There's another rider to your left threatening to run you off the edge. You try to speed up but there's another rider in front of you, and when you look behind you a third rider is closing in as well. You're stuck ...

A guy buys an old Harley...

and takes it out for a ride. As he's driving, he pulls up next to a car and taps on the window. The driver rolls it down and the guy on the bike asks him if he's ever ridden a Harley. The guy in the car says no, so the guy on the bike drives off.

He comes to a second car and again pulls up ne...

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A man and his wife are golfing...

...and with it being such a beautiful day they decide to walk the course. In order to keep pace as best they can with all the cart riders, the wife walks on ahead to the forward tees while her husband is setting up to tee off on the first hole.

She's just about there when he swings and snap h...

Riding A Dead Horse

Old tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. Businesses, however, often try other strategies. These include,

1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Saying things like "This is the way we always have ridde...

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