4 people are on a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes.

The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand.", off he goes.

The next person to grab one is Donald Trump:
"Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things...

Two rednecks flew to Canada on a hunting trip.

They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.


They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the Pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.


The two guys objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let ...

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.

“This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman. “Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.”

Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.

Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, “Excuse...

The pope is really early to his plane flight.

He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car since becoming the pope.

Naturally, he's a bit rusty, so he's driving poorly, when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the ...

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A redneck and an annoying stranger are sitting next to each other on a 12 hour plane ride...

The stranger is pretty well dressed and, after a few drinks becomes very loud and disruptive. He starts boasting that hes the smartest man on the plane. After a few minutes of unsuccessfully trying to get people to engage with him, a stewardess tells the stranger he needs to be quiet and stop distur...

A blonde woman gets on a plane to Detroit and heads for a seat in first class, despite having an economy ticket...

A short while into the flight an air hostess notices she's in the wrong section of the plane and asks her to return to her allocated seat. The blond simply replied "no". Shocked and confused, the hostess insisted once more that she move, but the blond refused again.

​

The h...

I had my first parachute jump today and was so terrified! This guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane and as we plummeted, he said...

"So, how long have you been an instructor?"

A man takes a seat on a plane next to, none other than, the Pope.

The whole flight the man sweats beads being so nervous having been sat next to his holiness.

The man is able to keep his calm and avoid an awkward conversation as the Pope focuses all of his attention on a crossword puzzle.

A couple hours into the flight the man hears his Holiness mu...

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An Irishman and a Mormon are on a plane.

The Mormon was seated next to the Irishman on a flight from London to the US.


After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.


The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like ...

Which Roman emperor loved planes the most?

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroooo.
 

So I hit my coworkers with this one at work today, and they hated it. Never heard it before so not sure if someone else made it up first, but I'm sure you good peoples would know.

A man boarded a plane with six kids.

After they settled into their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over and asked, “Are all of those kids yours?” He replied, “No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.”

On average how many planes crash each year?

Typically in bounces between 7, 3, and 7. But recently it's at Max 8

My jokes are like planes

they either don't get off the ground or go over your head

An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane

An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he ha...

A pilot, a boy, a rich businessman, and an old man are on a little plane.

Suddenly the plane has an engine failure, and the pilot says:

“We have to jump, but there are only three parachutes on the plane, so you guys better decide who’s going to have to sacrifice themselves!”

Then he takes one of the parachutes and jumps. The business man says:

“I’m...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What does a plane and a woman have in common?

They both have cockpits

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Pilot, copilot joke.

Pilot and copilot are getting ready to land. The pilot says, "I've heard this airport runway is pretty short so I may call for some extra flaps. The copilot acknowledges.
They break through the clouds and see the runway. The pilot says to the copilot, "yeah, that's a pretty short runway. Give me ...

A devout Catholic man has just boarded a plane, and he's really dreading the long flight ahead. All of a sudden, the pope boards and takes a seat right next to him! What an honor!

The man sits there, thinking about how best to conduct himself and what to say, when the pope takes out a golf pencil and starts doing a crossword puzzle. Wow, His Holiness does crossword puzzles? the man thinks. I hope he asks me for help. That'll be my in for a wonderful conversation!

Sure ...

My grandpa destroyed 12 German planes during WW2.

He was, without a doubt, the worst mechanic in the history of Luftwaffe

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An airplane is about to crash!

With only 5 parachutes on board.

A Doctor says, “save the women”.

A young mother says, “no save the children”.

A lawyer says, “Fuck the children”.

A priest asks, “do we have time”?

A blonde woman boards a plane to Las Vegas

She takes a seat in first class. The flight attendant walks over and politely informs the lady that her seat is in the economy class, and that she has to move back there.

To the fight attendant’s dismay, the lady refuses. She says,“I’m going to Las Vegas, and I’m sitting here for the flight....

An arrogant professor boards a plane and gets a seat besides an old man.

Mid-flight, the professor decides to humiliate the old man and prove he’s intellectually superior, so he turns to him and says: “Hey, do you want to play a little game with me?” The old man looks at him and says: “Depends. What type of game?”

The professor goes on to explain the game: “Taking...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Pilot says to the passengers, one engine has failed but don't worry this plane has four engines it will only add 20 minutes to the flight, then a second and third engine fail, Pilot says it's OK this plane can run on one engine and only adds 2 hours to the flight. Paddy says.

Fucking heck if the other engine fails, we could be up here forever.

An army plane is crashing, and three soldiers are on board

To lighten the load, each throws out one item. The first throws out an artillery shell, the second throws out a machine gun, and the third throws out a radio. It's no good however, and the plane continues going down, so the three soldiers are forced to jump out and parachute to safety.

When t...

An englishman, a scotsman, and an irishman are on a plane loaded with cargo....

As the plane's flying, the pilot shouts to them that they'll have to throw some stuff out or they're going to crash. The englishman throws out a load of roses, the Scotsman throw out a load of haggis, and the irishman throws out a bomb.

They manage to land safely and as they're walking away, ...

3 rich men get on a plane.

A Canadian, an American and a Mexican.
They decide to each throw something off the plane over their country to represent how they feel about their country.

The Canadian walks up and throws a silver bar off the plane. The others ask "Why did you do that?" To which the Canadian replies "Be...

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Nympho on a plane

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “...

Plane confused?

just wing it.

Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day

Push a man *off* the plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

It's bad enough for someone to ask if there's a doctor onboard a plane.

Imagine how it feels when someone's asking if there's a pilot on board.

What do you call a black person who flys a plane?

A pilot you racist

The Pope, Donald Trump, Lionel Messi, and a 14 year old boy are flying on a plane together.

Halfway into the flight, the pilots announce that the plane is going down, and that there are only three parachutes on board.

Lionel Messi grabs a parachute and says “Well guys, I’m the best football player in the world. My fans and millions of people worldwide need me!”, and jumps out of th...

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Pole, Russian and Englishman are flying a plane and arguing where they are

The Russian puts his hand outside the window and says:

"we're in Russia"

"it's cold"

Then the Englishman puts his hand outside the window and says:

"we're in England"
"it's wet"

And then the Pole puts his hand outside the window and as he pulls it back, he start...

They say stealth planes make your radar signature smaller, so you show up to the radar just like a small bird

"Sir, we think we've spotted a pigeon on the radar screen."

"Well what's unusual about that?"

"Well the pigeon is flying at about mach 2."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Bush, Trump, and Hillary are all on a plane...

Bush says, "I could throw this 100$ bill out the window and make someone happy". Trump, with a smug look on his face replies and says, "I could throw ten 10$ bills out the window and make 10 people happy". Hillary smirks and says "oh yeah, I could throw one hundred 1$ bills out the window and make 1...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A plane crashes on an island and three men survive...

After wandering the island for a day, they come across a group of natives. Luckily, one of the natives could speak their language, and offers the survivors a challenge.

"First, search our land and retrieve ten fruit. Return to my hut by sunset tomorrow with the fruit, and be prepared for the...

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The Policeman & The Hispanic

It’s around the holiday season and Bob the policeman is scheduled to work. He decides to set up a speed trap at his favorite roadway in Arkansas.

It’s been a few hours and Bob hasn’t seen a single driver. Just then, suddenly a pickup truck flies past him doing well over double the speed limit...

several people were flying on a plane: a kid, a suicide bomber, the smartest man in the world, and the dumbest man in the world.

Suddenly, the pilot came running to the back and yelled “The plane is going down and we only have 4 parachutes but 5 people.” With this, the pilot took a parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The 4 passengers all look at each other then begin a mad scramble for a parachute. Then, all 4 leap...

Two blondes were on a plane to New York.

About two hours into the flight, the pilot speaks over the intercom, "Attention ladies and gentlemen, we appear to have burst one of our engines. No need to panic; we still have three more. Our arrival time has been delayed by about an hour. We sincerely apologize for any inconveniences."

...

Some American pilots challenged their Russian counterparts to find out whose planes are faster.

The Americans took the latest supersonic aircraft, but the Russians managed to get only an old, decommissioned Kukuruznik and tied it to the American plane with rope.

After takeoff, an American crewmember said to his commander:

"Sir, the Russians are right behind us!"

"What is...

A Russian plane is falling down....

One pilot says to the other
"AHHH WE'RE STALIN"

What do you call it when one plane crashes into another?

United airlines.

I was going to start a camouflage plane company

But I just can’t see it taking off

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two guys on a plane

Two guys get on a flight, and a sexy stewardess passes them.

"I gotta hit that!" says one to the other, gets up, flirts with her and then they go to the bathroom for 15 minutes.

Guy comes back to his friend and says "Nah, my wife's better.

The other guy says "Can't be, let me tr...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Airplane holiday

A group of Engineering students and their teacher were given free airplane tickets to go on a holiday. Once on the plane the Pilot announced that they were on the plane the students had built. Everyone freaked out and rushed out of the plane, except for the teacher who stayed there calmly. When the ...

My friend, Cliff, bought a plane

He used to fly around a lot but he's gotten old so he keeps it locked up in his...


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A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess."

So the boy finds the stewardess and asks, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
...

A government plane crashes between united states and mexico, where do you bury the survivors?

What plane?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Anal sex is like a private plane...

If you’ve never been in one by the time you’re 30, chances are, you won’t ever be in one.

Gary kasparov (chess master) was sitting next to me in a plane.

He wanted to play chess with me.
I was like " come on Gary, u r like this world champion player... U will beat me in less than 10 moves. "

Gary replied, " I'll play with my left hand"

" That sounds fair" I said. And we played.
I don't know how but Gary beat me in 7 moves. I was...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A plane is about to crash.

The pilot comes out of the cockpit, and solemnly addresses the passengers.

"The plane is going to crash. There are 286 passengers, but only 285 parachutes. Does anybody know how to pray?"

A minister in the middle row raises his hand.

"Good." The pilot says. "You start praying. T...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a German, and an American are on a plane flying over the South Pacific.

The pilot suddenly announces; "Sorry gents, but looks like our plane is overloaded. Three of you are going to have to take a parachute and jump out, and I'll have them send a rescue plane back for you."

First the Englishman gets up, grabs a parachute, and steps out the plane, shouting; "God s...

The steward on the plane asked me if I would like an inside seat.

I said, "They're all inside seats."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Vulture boards a plane

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

An American, a Frenchman, and a Colombian are all on a plane

The American sticks his hand out of the window and says,
“Look! We’re in my country.”
“How can you tell?” Says the Frenchman
“I can touch the Statue of Liberty.”
Sometime passes, The Frenchman then sticks his hand out of the window and says,
“Oh, we’re in my country now.”
“How can...

What did the cheap baseball player say when he found out how expensive first class plane tickets are?

Put me in coach!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A joke from our taxi driver in Jamaica - “What is the difference between a plane and a baby?”

One flies from city to city and one sucks from titty to titty

My grandfather killed 30 german planes during World War 2

He was easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Indian man is sitting in first class on a plane, he presses the call button for a stewardess, but no one goes to his aid for ten minutes. A stewardess finally comes over and the man says to her,

“I have been fingering you for 10 minutes and you haven’t come!”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A football team went on a trip by a plane

They started playing football in the cabin and the pilots were not happy, so the captain said to the flight attendant : "Go deal with this shit! " Later the plane was quiet and he asked his flight attendant : "What did you do? " The flight attendant answered : "Simply I told them to go play outside ...

Two Muslims are sitting together on a plane.

One turns to the other and says "Are you ready?"

The other replies "Yes. I have been waiting for this moment. Let us count down."

"3...2...1..."

"Happy New Year!"

How long does it take a cross dresser to get to the ground if they jump out of a plane?

Depends on the drag coefficient

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Gay Couple on a Plane

A gay couple (Jeremiah and Timothy) is traveling on a plane.

"What if we had sex?" asks Jeremiah.

"Are you crazy? Here, on the plane? It would be awkward, everyone would watch us doing it..."

"Nobody is even paying attention to anything. Look!"

Jeremiah stands up and ask...

A group of engineering students and their teacher are sitting on a plane.

They are then informed that the plane that they were sitting on was the one they built and designed. The engineering students all fled the aircraft because they didn't trust their own work. However, the teacher remained seated. When asked why, he replied: " If I know these guys as well as I think I...

A plane is about to crash.

Inside there are 4 people and 3 parachutes. The first man says "I am Steph Curry. I am the best NBL player in the world. I cant die for all of my fans." and he takes the first parachute. The next man says "I am Donald Trump, and I am the worlds best president, so I cant die for my country." and jump...

If I was cut in half and thrown out of a plane, You could say...

I'm falling two pieces.

10 engineering professors board a plane

Once they are inside and the plane is a about to take off, the air hostess comes out and tells everyone that the plane has been made by the students of those teachers. Immediately 9 of the professors get up and run away from the plane while one of them stays sit, calmly reading a book.

One of...

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These two guys , Scott and Steve die in a horrible plane crash

As they approach the pearly gates they come upon an able bodied administrator who goes by the name of Peter. This saintly individual welcomes them and says, we are a bit backed up today so we can offer you a visit with some of your fallen comrades while you wait if this pleases you. They quickly ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A priest, a rabbi & a 13 year old boy are all on a plane

The plane is going down and there are only two parachutes left.

The priest turns to the rabbi and says, "rabbi, we have both lived long and fulfilling lives; let's give the boy a parachute and we can flip a coin to decide who will get the last one."

The rabbi says, "fuck that 13 year o...

There are 500 bricks being transported by plane...

One brick falls out. How many are left?
499

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in the fridge?
Open the door, insert the elephant, close the door.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in the fridge?
Open the door, remove the elephant, insert the giraffe, close the...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If your plane has a woman pilot....

Is it still called a cock pit?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A lady sneezes on a plane

The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading.
A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.
Assuming that the woman mi...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A physicist is sitting next to little Johnny on a plane...

The physicist tells Johnny "I call tell about how all kinds of thing work, including the plane or quantum mechanics".

Johnny says "Alright, why is it when a cow poops it plops into these big patties?"

"I don't know" replies the physicist

"Ok, why do horse turds come out all clum...

So a plane is crashing with 4 passengers one is a pilot, a priest, a high schooler with a backpack, and a blonde. One tiny problem is there’s only 3 parachutes.

First the pilot jumps out, then the blonde. The priest turns to the high schooler and told him he had a wonderful life and had no regrets, please take the last parachute. The high schooler took one and pulled out another chute, the priest says by the lord how did you get a fourth? The high schooler ...

I was on a plane recently and the stewardess said that in the event of an accident i had to stick my head between my legs.

I couldn't help thinking,

'if i could do that i wouldn't be flying to Thailand in the first place.'

How do flat earthers travel the world?

on a plane.

Two blind pilots enter a plane..

They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on the ground. The remaining runway gets smaller and smaller, and the plane is rushing towards a fence.

The passengers start shrieking and suddenly the pla...

An old man boards a plane to Paris.

He is very excited to visit and is talking with the other passengers. Before takeoff, there is a dispute as to whether a French family has found their seats correctly or not. In an attempt to find their seats, the stewardess asks the people around them for their tickets. Eventually, she reaches the ...

A strict vegetarian crashes his plane in the middle of the country and has to find his way to civilization.

A strict vegetarian crashes his plane in the middle of the country and has to find his way to civilization. Due to a tragic experience as a child, he refuses to eat meat; he says the idea of eating what was once a living animal disgusts him and he could never enjoy eating meat. According to his ma...

A two-seater plane crashed in a cemetery in Lahore

Pakistani police has so far discovered 25 bodies

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A plane went down over the ocean, and three of the survivors end up stranded on a remote tropical island.

They don't get very far before a tribe of cannibals capture them and bring them back to their village as prisoners. One of the men says "Please don't eat us! We'll do anything!". The cannibal's chief decides to have a bit of fun with them and says "Oh? Well then, go into the forest and come back wit...

What do we want?

“Low flying planes!”

When do we want them?

“NNNEEEOOOOWWWwwwwww”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A girl is on a plane..

And an old woman sits next to her. "Where you from?" says the girl. "I'm sorry," replies the woman, "but I never answer a question that ends in a preposition, such as 'from.' Kindly do try again." The girl thinks for a second and says, "okay! Where you from, bitch?"

How do you land a plane?

Hurry up, I can see the runway.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A plane is losing altitude and must drop some extra weight.

A plane, mid flight, begins to lose altitude and is going down. The captain comes over the intercom and says, "the plane is going down so we're going to drop some luggage to reduce the weight. "

After doing so, the captain comes back on the intercom and says, "the plane is still going down, w...

Obama, Oprah, Trump and a little girl are on a plane. The engines fail...

... the pilots have already parachuted out the plane. The four mentioned are the only ones remaining on the plane. But there are only three parachutes.

Oprah quickly steps forward and says to the little girl; "I'm taking a parachute. I'll build a school for girls in your honour, it'll benefi...

a pig jumped off a plane

he wanted to be ground pork

What's a mathematician's favorite Christmas song?

Angles we have heard in high, sweetly singing o'er the plane.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two Arab guys get on a plane

One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before take-off an Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was just settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, “I think I’ll go up and get a Coke.”

“No pr...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man was eating a bright, red apple.

It was on a warm, sunny day that the most peculiar of things occurred. A man, was happily snacking on a bright, red apple when, too lazy to walk to a trash can, he threw it out the window. A seemingly non-problematic apple would have been ignored under any other circumstances, but the man lived on t...

[Long] Donald Trump , Vladimir Putin and Angela Merkel are sitting in a Punkte plane...

Merkel starts saying: I have that much money that I could make everybody in Germany happy. Now Putin goes on and says: I am that rich, I could make all people of Russia happy. Now Trump is the last one and says: I could make the god damn europe happy...

A few moments later they are hearing th...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

2 pilots in an crashing plane

Pilot 1: we're all probably going to die and i haven't experienced my first kiss
Pilot 2: I can call one of the flight attendants in so you can kiss her in the cockpit
Pilot 1: I'd rather kiss her on the mouth

(Long) Crashing Plane

The pilot comes on the intercom and announces "ladies and gentlemen we just lost our engines, we are going down, prepare to crash."

A woman jumps up screaming "I AM NOT READY TO DIE, I"M STILL A VIRGIN, SOMEONE MAKE A WOMAN OUT OF ME!

A good looking guy gets up, walks to her, and takes...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A plane is spotted trying to land at Area 51

One day at Area 51 a radar tech spots a single engine plane on final approach to the secret Air Force base. The plane touches down and is immediately surrounded by armed guards. The plane is impounded and the pilot is whisked off for questioning. The pilot claims that he had been flying from Las Veg...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A French, Italian and an American were on a plane.

The three were flying above the pacific. The flight crashed on an island inhabited by cannibals.
The chief of the cannibals came to them and told them: " If you are able to stick 10 food items down your anus, we will not eat you.

The American started shoving frise. One... Two...
he reac...

A plane is full of a bunch of Redditors

And suddenly a man starts having a heart attack. One of the flight attendants (who frequents r/AskReddit) notices this and quickly shouts: “People of the plane, we’re having an emergency! Is anyone on this plane a doctor?”
Immediately five people stand up and all say “I’m not a doctor but...”

I have a joke about a plane.

I hope it doesn’t crash and burn.

What did one plane say to the other plane when it was leaving?

Biplane

Ireland has had its worst ever air disaster. A small 4-seater plane has crashed into a cemetery...

So far, rescue workers have retrieved 432 bodies, but expect the number to rise as digging continues through the night...

Why was the plane grumpy?

He had a bad altitude.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A black man and his son are on a plane.

The flight attendant makes an announcement that the flight is much to heavy so they need to ask people to jump off. To be fair she says they will just start in alphabetical order. First she calls African Americans to jump, then black people. The son looks at his dad and say shouldn’t we be jumping, ...

What do you call a haughty criminal who skydives out of a plane?

Con descending.

Plane trouble

A plane was about to crash. It had four passengers, but only three parachutes.

First out was a top football player. He said: "My team counts on me, and my millions of fans will be devestated if I die". He took one of the chutes and jumped out.

Next was Donald Trump. He said: "I’m the s...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Canadian man, a Japanese man, and an American man are in a plane.

They’re on a hijacked plane and the terrorist demands that they each drop something out of the plane capable of killing someone.

The Canadian drops a bag of coins, hoping that someone can use those coins for good use.

The Japanese drops a katana, to honorably and quickly kill whoever w...

There were 4 people on a plane: a kid, a pastor, a doctor, and the smartest man in the world.

Suddenly, the pilot came running to the back and yelled “The plane is going down and we only have 4 parachutes but 5 people.” With this, the pilot took a parachute and jumped out of the plane”.

The doctor said “I save lives every day and the world needs me” and he also took a parachute and j...

A plane crashes on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors?

Doesn't matter as long as they aren't caught

An American pilot is flying a small plane across Australia.

He crashes in the Outback and is knocked unconscious. When he comes to, he's in a hospital with a nurse standing over him. Still groggy and pretty much out of it, he asks "Did you bring me here to die?" Nurse says "Nah, ya got here yesta die."