Why didn’t I buy a mustang?

I couldn’t a Ford it

Its crazy how much people love Ford Mustangs

I hear they're a real hit with the crowd

A young man and a young woman met at a party, fell in love and moved in together.

Soon, some say too soon after that, they got married. As the newlyweds didn’t have a car, the mother of the bride decided to gift them the family heirloom, a 1965 Mustang GT350 that the brides grandfather had been racing back in the day.

For a while all was well and the bride and the groom sp...

The Tour Bus traveling through northern Nevada passed briefly by the Mustang Ranch, near Sparks.

The guide noted: "We are now passing the largest house of prostitution in America." A male passenger shouted "WHY?!?"

Man: Dude my wife just crashed my mustang!

Friend: OMG is she okay??

Man: Well she may need some buffering and new coat of paint but she should be alright.

Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Mustang east on I-20 toward Georgia.

When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over quickly. The rookie trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?"

The sarge replied, "Forget it, he's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."

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A Joke My Grandfather Told Me

So, my Grandfather and I were driving along on our way into town, and we crossed a set of railroad tracks.

As we were crossing, my Grandfather said, "You know, there was a bad crash on these tracks back in the day, between a Mustang and an old Firebird."

I thought about it for a seco...

An Alabama cop is sitting behind a billboard on the highway doing radar.

Suddenly he sees a teenager in a Mustang fly by him doing 125mph in a 60mph zone.

He flips on his lights and goes after the kid finally catching up to him 2-miles down the road.

The cop walks up to the Mustang and says "Son, I been wait'n fer you all day!"

The kid replies "Sorry...

What do you call getting hot boxed in a classic Mustang?

A high standard

I saw a horse driving a car the other day

It was a mustang.

Buddy Doesn't Know How to Park a Car

So this is a true story.

I work a retail job. My friend neglected to properly put his Mustang in park in his space. It moved backwards across the lot and in to a customer's Jeep Grand Cherokee. Luckily for him, the damage was not serious.

Unlucky for him, all of my coworkers (and a ...

A man is driving his new mustang

home from work one day. He spots an incredibly obese man sitting on the curb next to a bicycle, breathing heavily. He stops and asks the man what's wrong. The man said that his doctor told him he needed to excersise and lose some weight. As he could barely run he decided to ride his bike. However, o...

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You hear about the accident involving the mustang and the t bird?

There was horse shit and feathers everywhere!

My grandpa died 12 years ago this week, thought I'd share his favorite joke.

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When I was in elementary school, we had this old crusty WWII fighter pilot vet come speak to my school…

He was telling us about a dog fight he was in. “So there I was in my Mustang, I had three f***ers to my right, two f***ers to my left, and one f***er right in front of me.” My teacher got red with embarrassment and jutted in, “Boys and girls, the Fokker was a kind of plane used by Germany in World W...

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Jesus had long hair

A teenager was entering his senior year of high school. His father, a Baptist preacher, made a deal with him.

"Son, if you get straight A's for the entire year, AND if you cut off that long hippy hair, I will buy you the car of your choice when you graduate."

The son accepted the chal...

Three men go into a bar

They all start bragging about what kind of cars they have. The first man says, “I think I have the coolest car, because I am a horse racer and I have a Mustang.” The second man says “That’s cool, but mine is cooler. I’m an astronaut and I have a Mercury.” They both laugh and turn to the third man, w...

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Quiet guy in class had this gem of a response

Military history class. We have this one guy in class who doesn't really say much and tends to keep to himself; just figured one of those 'man of few words' kinda guys. One day, we were discussing the planes used in WW2. Ensuing discussion goes as such

Professor: So what planes did we have du...

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An Arkansas farm boy decides to try his luck in the city.

He gathers up his few possessions, tells all his friends goodbye and buys a bus ticket to Little Rock.

A few months later, his friends are shocked to see him driving back into their little town in a new, shiny red Mustang convertible. They all rush to catch up to him as he parks in front of h...

My neighbor traded in his KIA yesterday.

Sold his Soul for a Mustang.

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A Blonde is pulled over for speeding

The cop taps on the window and asks for her licence,

"Sorry sir i left it in my gym shorts"

Telling her to wait he walks back to his cruiser and radios in,

"It wouldn't happen to be a blonde driving a red mustang would it?" They radioed back

"Yeah it is actually, why do y...

Three men walk into a car part store...

“I need taillights for a Mustang” the first one says. “What year?” the employee asks. “2015” he answers. “There you go”, the worker hands in the parts. The second guy goes to the counter, saying “I need a steering wheel for a Mustang”. “What year?”
“1997” he answers. “There you go”. After he paye...

Car accident department at heaven...

An Englishman, American and a Russian are sitting waiting for their turn to get to heaven. Boring long wait so the Brit asked the American: "So why are you here". Brit: "Damn truck, head on collision in my Rolls Royce, what about you?" American: "Aaah, was driving drunk and couldn't handle my Ford M...

Texas Sheriff's Exam

A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman.

He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.

When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff's Depart...

The old dentist

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which showed his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could this be the same...

Men Vs Women

Driving to the office this morning on the interstate, I looked over to my left there was a woman in a brand new Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over inm my...

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