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Sprinter Jokes

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast.

I'll see myself out.

A sprinter is training one day when he beats the world record.

After this he wakes up in the hospital with a concussion and a completely shattered foot.
"I'm afraid this happens sometimes in jokes," says the doctor, "and frankly you got off lightly. You reached the limit of what the laws of physics allow for and hit the fourth wall."

"Does this mean I...

I’m like a cross between a marathon runner and a sprinter

I can jog short distances

What do you call a handsome sprinter?

Dashing.

What’s the difference between a police officer and a 100m sprinter

Sprinters rarely beat the black guys

I just witnessed record breaking sprinter collapse out of breath...

He was inspiring

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Then there was the Olympic Sprinter that tested positive for Viagra....

He tripped during the 100m Dash and won gold in the pole vault.

Having only ever competed in the 100m dash, what did the professional sprinter say after his first 200m race?

I've finally turned a corner in my career.

Genghis Khan once had the hands of an entire village of superb bowmen maimed so their skills could never be used against him. Similarly, he crippled a conquered town of excellent sprinters

For the town, it was a crushing de feet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a party in the Olympic Village one night...

... and from across the room, a sprinter sees a diver talking to the most beautiful woman that he has ever laid eyes on. Later in the evening, the sprinter approaches the diver to ask about her.

"I just can't get her out of my head!" the sprinter says. "I have to sleep with her! Who is she?"<...

Aptronym is a personal name aptly or peculiarly suited to its owner.

Some famous examples of peoples whose name accurately describes them.
Usain Bolt- Jamaican sprinter.
Margaret Court- Australian tennis player.
Josh Outman- baseball pitcher.
Novak Djokovic - vaccine dodger.

A friend recently asked me if I had ever known a kid who was going places

I told him that I knew a blind kid who was definitely going somewhere. It was this boy in a first grade class that I was an assistant in. Everyone bullied him cause of his disability, kids are pretty terrible after all. They didn’t care about him or who he was, I’d wager half of them didn’t even ...

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