UPJOKE
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What does a shark call a jet-skier?

Fast food. (I’m so sorry)

How do Jewish skiers greet each other?

Slalom

The Olympic skier Picabo Street made headlines by donating enough money to build a new hospital.

To thank her they named a wing of the hospital after her. The Picabo ICU.

The worst thing about being a profession skier...

...is that your career can only go downhill

What do you call a water-skier with no arms or legs?

Skip.

So apparently an Olympic downhill skier was injured so many times she donated a huge sum to the local hospital's critical care unit.

Of course they called it the Picabu ICU.

My next girlfriend has to be a skier

They actually get excited for 4-6 inches.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was the name of the skier with no legs.

Mr. Macockski

My wife is like an Olympic silver medal skier.

She only goes down once every four years, and never finishes first.

The skiers

Three friends decide to go to a ski resort for the weekend. When they arrive at the lodge, they're dismayed to learn that there's only one room left. What's worse, it only has a single bed. Figuring that it's their only option, they decide to take the room.


After a full day of skiing, the...

A New Yorker Was Teaching A Midwesterner How To Ski

A Midwesterner is on vacation in the Poconos. Over there, he decides to take up downhill skiing. He's done a lot of cross country skiing, but he's never skied downhill, since there are no mountains over in Fargo. Fargo's flatter than a pancake.

He decided to try downhill skiing. "How hahr...

3 skiers

3 skiers arrive at the lodge to find there is only one room available. They reluctantly accept, and find that it has only one bed. Come time to sleep they agree to share the bed.

The next morning the 3 awake to which says, "last night I had the most vivid dream that I was getting a handjob." ...

3 men go to a hotel late at night

Only one room is left and there is only one large bed to sleep on, the men decide to go and share it.

The morning after...

Man on the left: Guys, I had an awesome dream last night. I hooked up with this smoking hot blonde and got a handjob!

Man on the right: whoa, what a coinc...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the middle of a summer, Bubba and Billy Ray are fishing in a lake, while a tourist on water skis keeps doing circles around their boat...

Bubba eyes the tourist, and, after a while, mutters:

"That guy sure's scarin' away all them fish with that racket..."

"Sure is," Billy Ray agrees.

"Say," Bubba suggests, "why don't we smack an oar next time he passes us, an' splash him?"

Billy Ray likes the idea, and they...

Seasonal Jokes

Spring
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!
Summer
Q: What do you call a dog on the beach in the Summer?
A: A hot dog!
Q: Why do bananas use sunscreen?
A: Because they peel.
Fall
Q. How you mend a broken pumpkin?
A. With a pumpk...

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