We don’t serve time travelers here.

A time traveler walks into a bar.

Police arrested a time traveler from 2018

He still can't believe that he was arrested for **not** wearing a mask in a bank.

What is the happiest type of traveler?

Nomad

A time traveler meets a teacher

“Can I ask you what month it it?”

“May.”

“Fine. *May* I ask you what month it is?”

Why do world travelers have bladder issues?

They're in continents.

An OverweightTime Traveler goes to ancient rome

An Overweight Time Traveler goes to ancient rome and realizes he wore historically incorrect clothes for the trip. Realizing his mistake he visits a toga shop to purchase new clothes. He looks around the shop and realizes they do not have togas big enough to fit him. He goes to the counter and asks ...

Thor visits a Quaint little village disguised as a traveler.

In the village he meets a young maiden and they spend the night together.

The next morning, he's standing by the window when the maiden hobbles over.

He decides to come clean, so he turns to her and says "I'm Thor".

"You think you're thor? I can hardly walk"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lone traveler needed to stop and wait out a storm.

A lone traveler needed to stop and wait out a storm. She came across a church settled near the top of a mountain far away from civilization, and decided to ask for them to lend hospitality to her. A nun greeted her at the entrance when she approached the church, and lead her inside. There, she was g...

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Just found out from a time traveler who lost tonight’s debate!

America!

Enjoy the shit show. Cheers.

A time traveler has traveled back in time to the year 1963.

However, he does not know the exact date.
He sees a CIA agent nearby and asks him:
"Is today before or after the JF-"

"Before"

A traveler was walking along the side of the road in Arizona, hitchhiking on a dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm;

Time passed slowly and no vehicles went by. It was raining so hard he could barely see his hand in front of his face.


Suddenly he saw a car approaching, moving slowly and appearing ghost-like in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.


Wanting a ride v...

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A traveler checked in at a hotel that advertised widely as offering

everything a client might desire.  The traveler at once called room service.  "I want to have brought to my room," he said, "a young virgin
between the ages of 18 and 19, who must have blonde hair and blue eyes. I also want sent up 4 pieces of strong rope, each exactly 4 feet in
length, and a ...

So a time traveler meets George W Bush...

Time Traveler: "What year is it?"

George Bush: "2001"

TT: "Before or after the 9/11 terrorist attack?"

GB: "Before"

A man who was traveling for work had a formal dinner to attend but didn't know how to tie a bow tie for his tux.

After a half hour of unsuccessfully trying to tie the tie, he suddenly realized he was going to be late. He ran out of his hotel room and into the hall and asked the first person he saw walking towards him if they knew how to tie a bow tie. The man said he did so the business traveler invited him in...

pls laugh

what do COVID-19 and a traveler on a budget have in common?

they travel by delta





what is the difference between COVID-19 and delta airlines?

only one can become airborne.

I think my wife is a time traveler

I've seen that doctors are saying you should avoid close physical contact to stop the spread of coronavirus. Somehow she knew about this years ago.

A traveler meets a blind hermit

Who tells him:"There's a clear distinction between us, young man", to which the traveler responds thoughtful: I see.. "

A time traveler goes to the past

A time traveler goes to the past and squishes a bug by accident,he goes back to the future and finds a woman on the sidewalk,he asks her "Who is president?" She replies with "Joe biten." He then says "You mean joe biden?" She shook her head and pointed behind him..there was a bulldog in a suit. "Joe...

A time traveler arrives in the year 2069 and decides to check in with Reddit to see if it's still around.

To his surprise it is. So he heads to /r/jokes to see what has developed in the world of humor.

To his surprise, each post consisted of just a number. Scrolling through, he saw that each vote had a hundreds of upvotes while 3527 had thousands and several awards to boot.

Puzzled, he ...

A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips...

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."

I met a time traveler today

Something strange happened to me this morning. I was walking my dog, when all of a sudden I heard a strange whooshing sound and out of nowhere a guy appeared on the side walk in front of me. He looked like he was in his twenties and was wearing really strange cloths. He was staring at a small techni...

A time traveler comes back from the year 2045

I encountered a time traveler today. During my self isolation he came to the door dressed in a hazmat suit. I was of course alarmed when I opened the door to such a site. He quickly explained who he was and asked if he could have just a few minutes of my time. I didn't believe anything he was sa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fucking a time traveler.

*"A blast from the past!"*

I’m a time traveler, and I came here to tell you a joke from the future.

But it’s just too far ahead of its time.

Time travelers be like "I know a spot"

And go literally anywhere but 2020

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A traveler walks into a bar in a foreign land...

He started up a conversation with a bar owner, Greg for confidence. Eventually they were talking about his business.

Greg: you see this bar? It took years to build this bar, to find every perfect piece of brick, to hone it into a perfect bar. But do they call me Greg the bar builder? No.
...

A time traveler goes to eat. After his meal, he notices he's still hungry.

He goes back four seconds

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There is a traveler passing through the country and spots a farmer with his bull

The traveler stops and asks the farmer for the time to which the farmer says "sure" and proceeds to lift the bulls balls up with his hand and replies "3:34" the traveler confused asked the farmer how he knew the time by lifting the bulls balls and the farmer says "come closer" and lifts the bulls ba...

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