He started up a conversation with a bar owner, Greg for confidence. Eventually they were talking about his business.
Greg: you see this bar? It took years to build this bar, to find every perfect piece of brick, to hone it into a perfect bar. But do they call me Greg the bar builder? No. ...
Some travelers where going down a path when they stopped to ask for directions to a native...
He said," I would go that way to the forest. But, don't go this way." He said pointing to a path behind him. "There's a bacon tree." The travelers where very hungry and thought a bacon tree sounded pretty good to them. So, they ignored the native's warnings and went to the path behind him. But, all ...
The bartender said “Sorry. We don’t serve time travelers.”
Two time travelers walk into a bar.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A crowded United Airlines flight was cancelled. A single agent was re booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said “I have to be on this flight and it has to be first class.”
The agent replied, “I am sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these folks first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, “Do you have any idea who I am?”
Without hesitating, the agent smiled and gr...
My friend Emit’s parents are time travelers.
They turned time backwards when they named him.
A time traveler walks into a bar
*You would think he had learned to duck the first time
A hungry traveler...
Stops by a monastery and is taken to the kitchen. A brother is cooking fish and chips and is asked by the stranger, "Are you the friar?" He responds with, "No, I'm the chip monk."
A time-traveler arrives in the middle of a medieval european war...
Clueless about his whereabouts and the year he’s in, he follows a few soldiers in the middle of a siege to ask them.
“Do you know where we are?” the time-traveler asked.
“We’re in Cambrai !” One of them replied
“And do you know what year it is ?”
“ 1339, why do you ask ?”...
But the time traveler didn’t get hired
A time traveler went to an interview to get a job . . .
A traveler was walking along the side of the road hitchhiking on a dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm
Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could barely see his hand in front of his face.
Suddenly he saw a car approaching, moving slowly and appearing ghost-like in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.
Wanting a ride very badly, the g...
The time traveler was still hungry after his last bite
So he went back four seconds
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A traveler arrives in a remote village
He receives a warm welcome. The villagers gather around him, asking him to tell them about his adventures.
"Well.. what do you want to know?" he asked.
After a brief pause, they answered:
"Tell us what animals did you see?"
"What animals do you know?" He asked them. ...
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by...
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by. The sphinx said to the man "you may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered "imagination".
The wise hermit
A traveler made a long, arduous journey to find a hermit who was reputed to be wise. After searching the wilderness for many weeks, he finally found the old man in his hideaway. "Tell me about life," said the traveler. "Well," said the hermit, "life is like a fish."
The traveler thought on...
It was the mid-1820’s when Phillip and his brother Terrance decided that they wanted to better their lives.
So the two brothers packed a wagon with everything they owned and started out from their small home in Missouri. The trail to Oregon was very tough and the relationship between the brothers was already stressed at best.
Phillip, being the older brother, was constantly very critical of his you...
Two travelers are driving past a, "Welcome to Lewisville, Kentucky!", sign and ...
They can't decide if it's pronounce LouiS-ville or Louey-ville. So they decide to settle it by asking at a burger place they pull up to.
"Hi we're from out of town and have a bet about how locals pronounce this place"?
The local says deliberately and slowly, "Burger... King".