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Traveller Jokes

Time traveller walks into a bar

Bartender says, “we don’t serve time travellers here.”

Time traveller responds, “since when?”

What can you say to cheer up a time traveller?

"The past is yet to come."

A time traveller travelled 1 month into the future and opened r/Jokes

"Damn, I failed again"

My wife must have wanted to be a time traveller

She keeps going back to the past.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A time traveller is at a job interview

Time traveller: I’m always early

Boss: what is your biggest str-WHAT THE FUCK

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A man arrives home at his local airport...

He hails the first taxi off the rank and says "how much out to the suburbs?"

"Sixty bucks" comes the reply.

"I've only got twenty in my pocket. When we get to my house, I'll give you the difference plus a big tip." says the traveller

"Nope" Says the cabbie firmly.

The nex...

Long ago, in a faraway land, there was a traveller.

He wanted to sell a goat, but no one wanted it. He travelled far and wide to see if anyone wanted it.

One day, he reached a small town in the desert. Before he entered the town, he decided to take a nap under a tree, and tied up his goat nearby.

On waking up a few hours later, he found...

A lone traveller, weary and famished from days on the road, stumbles across an old inn on a desolate mountain trail.

His eyes light up as he sees light coming from the windows, realizing he is about to enjoy his first hot meal in weeks.

He bursts through the doors of the inn and finds it bustling with activity. Every table is packed with patrons merrily drinking and feasting.

The traveller searches ...

A traveller has dinner at a monastery.

A traveller was walking through the mountains when he came across a great monastery, he was far from a town and so knocked on it's doors seeking shelter.

A monk came out and greeted him and the traveller asked for a place to stay for the night.

"Certainly" replied the monk "But first, ...

Why haven't we come across any time traveller from the future?

The world ends in 2020. So does humanity.

A time traveller asks his friend

A time traveller asks his friend, "I might host a party for my birthday last year, I regret not having one, what do you reckon?

The friend replies ,"yea it was alright".

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How the Germans bailed out Greece

It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.



Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.



On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel...

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The Definition of Politics

A Russian Jew successfully secured relocation to Israel.

At the Moscow airport, when conducting a search of his belongings, the customs official found a statue in his case.

He asked the traveler:

‘What is this?’

The traveler replied:

‘That is the wrong question, co...

Have you heard of the upcoming movie where a time traveller gets transformed into a chicken?

It's called Bawk to the Future.

What does a time traveller do after a meal

He goes back four seconds

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An art student and a time traveller walk into a bar.

The art student takes a seat, looking pretty down.

The time traveller asks "Whats wrong?"

"I just got kicked out of art school" He repiles "Say, hows the art scene in the future?"

The time traveller shrugs and says "Eh. Its pretty terrible all things considered."

The art ...

Why didn't the time traveller ask the girl out?

Because he doesn't like no for an answer.

Why did a time traveller kill John Wilks Booth?

Because he was trying to kill the precedent

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A traveller enters a mysterious looking hotel and is greeted by a rather attractive girl sitting behind the check in desk.

She smiles at him, exposing slightly crooked teeth and endearing dimples. "You can have me, right here, right now." She gestures to a door he hadn't noticed before and continues, "Or, you can carry on to success."

The traveller is a little nonplussed, a little flattered about being propositio...

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