This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A man arrives home at his local airport...

He hails the first taxi off the rank and says "how much out to the suburbs?"

"Sixty bucks" comes the reply.

"I've only got twenty in my pocket. When we get to my house, I'll give you the difference plus a big tip." says the traveller

"Nope" Says the cabbie firmly.

The nex...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Anal swabs are made compulsory for all international travellers to China.

This is in line with their "China first" policy. First China enters you, then you enter China.

A bartender said "Sorry, we don't serve time travellers".

Two time travellers walk into a bar

NSFW - Two travellers are walking separate paths...a Scotsman and an Irishman....

The paths merge and they see each other....and acknowledge each other silently...and continue walking side by side.

After awhile, they come across a stone fence with a sheep stuck with its' head in it. The Scotsman turns to the Irishman and says "Och lad! Ya don' get many chances like this!"<...

I'm hiring a group of time travellers to come on an epic mission to fight crime across the 4th dimension.

If you're interested, interview was yesterday

What do you call a time-traveller's fart?

A blast from the past.

Have you heard of the upcoming movie where a time traveller gets transformed into a chicken?

It's called Bawk to the Future.

Long ago, in a faraway land, there was a traveller.

He wanted to sell a goat, but no one wanted it. He travelled far and wide to see if anyone wanted it.

One day, he reached a small town in the desert. Before he entered the town, he decided to take a nap under a tree, and tied up his goat nearby.

On waking up a few hours later, he found...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

If time travellers exist they must be Nazis cuz they didn't go back and stop Hitler.

A man gets a worried look on his face. What are you, a time traveller? No I'm a preacher.

Bartender: We donโ€™t serve time travellers in here...

Cannibal: Damn it! Just regular people then.

A few months ago, a time traveller ran up to someone and shouts "I need you to say the 9th letter of the alphabet and the German founder of the philosophical doctrine of transcendental idealism, or the world will fall into chaos!"

...I Kant

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A traveller enters a mysterious looking hotel and is greeted by a rather attractive girl sitting behind the check in desk.

She smiles at him, exposing slightly crooked teeth and endearing dimples. "You can have me, right here, right now." She gestures to a door he hadn't noticed before and continues, "Or, you can carry on to success."

The traveller is a little nonplussed, a little flattered about being propositio...

If there were ever a war between forest predators and space travellers, Iโ€™d pick the forest predators.

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

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