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Horseman Jokes

What's The Headless Horseman's Favorite Drink?

Decappuccino

Brave Knight Edward is going to crusade

He doesn't know if he will ever come back or not. So, he puts on an iron chastity belt on his wife, gives the key to his best friend Micheal and says,

"If I don't come back in 3 years, set her free". Michael agrees and brave Knight Edward sets out on his big black horse. He gallops toward th...

What do you call Bojack Horseman when he moves in next door?

Your neighbor.

Bojack Horseman is basically bestiality.

It's about a man inside a horse

What did The headless horseman say before leaving the party?

I’ll beheading off then

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] One of my favorite jokes from BoJack Horseman

Okay so there's this gardener right?
So the amazing thing about this gardener is that he always knows exactly how many bags of mulch he needs for a job, just by looking. Like he gets it right, every time. He's the best.
So one day, he looks at a yard he's working on and he's like... 18 bags. S...

Why did the horseman Pestilence, take his horse to the vet?

Because it was disease ridden.


Side note: I tried posting this awhile back and worded it badly, its original though i made it up while watching Supernatural.

Why couldn't the headless horseman win the race?

He couldn't get a head.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an equestrian that has never received a blow job?

A Headless Horseman!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You ever hear about the jockey who’s partner doesn’t do oral sex?

You could say he was the headless horseman

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW Jethro's mom told him to go sell a duck at the market

He met up with a prostitute who said she would let him screw her in return for the duck. So he did. He was so good that the hooker offered him the duck back if he did it again. So he did. As he came into town, a guy on a horse shouted "Look out!" and nearly ran Jethro over. Unfortunately, Jethr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two horsemen were riding towards each other.

They came up face to face on the other sides of a bridge. The bridge was not wide enough for them both to cross so they had to decide who goes first. The other horseman said ”Move out of the way or the same will happen to you that happened to the last horseman.” Well, the other man moved but still d...

Leaving for the Crusades...

*Heard this a long time ago. Just found it again...*

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades.

One knight told his best friend, "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world.
It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my ...

Corny puns

Why can't the headless horseman ever win a race?

A: Because he can never get a head

What is Tiger Wood's favorite type of club?

A: The wood

Which Halloween costume has the hardest time getting to third base?

The Headless horseman

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