How to mountain climbers greet each other?

Hiya!

A group of mountain climbers all contract Coronavirus, but are strangely unable to infect anybody else.

This is because scalars aren't vectors.

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing. You can't cross a scalar and a vector.

How did the rock climber lose his friend?

He cut ties with him.

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Ever wonder how yodeling was invented?

Long ago, a mountain climber was walking through a valley on his way to a nearby mountain he had his eye on climbing. As he grew near his destination he saw a little farmhouse with a little barn with a farmer outside tending to his animals. The climber approached the farmer and asked if he could spe...

Why did the mountain climber drive into the tree?

Because it was there.

In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.

Since then, the steaks have never been higher.

What mountaintop is infamous for making climbers disappear?

\- Peak Aboo.

And which one gives them a flu?

\- Peak Achoo.

What’s an Everest climber’s favorite song?

...let the bodies hit the floor.

What did one insomniac mountain climber say to the other?

"Bro, do you everest?"

A CEO went on a rock climbing trip with one of his employees.

The CEO, an experienced climber, reached the top of a difficult section and was holding a rope tied to both men. As the employee was climbing up, he lost his grip, and was only saved by the strength of the CEO who was barely able to hang on. The CEO yelled, "Hurry, I'm losing my grip!", but the empl...

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There was a young climber named Ed...

There was a young climber named Ed

No mountain could fill him with dread

Then he met a big fatty

named Pumpkin-Ass Patty

And he said, "I'll do Everest instead".

A renowned climber walks into a mountain bar

A lousy climber doesn't because the bar was too high

Two mountaineers pass a crevasse during a mountain tour

One climber says to the other: "My travel guide fell into this crevasse last year."
The other mountaineer says: "And didn't that really take you away?"
The mountaineer replies: "No, he was already very old anyway, and besides, some pages were missing!"

A climber fell off a cliff, and, as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch. "Help! Is there anybody up there?" he shouted.

A majestic voice boomed through the gorge:

"I will help you, my son, but first you must have faith in me."

"Yes, yes, I trust you!" cried the man.

"Let go of the branch," boomed the voice.

There was a long pause, and the man shouted up again, "Is there anybody else up the...

Father: "Son, you shall follow in my footsteps of escorting climbers up Mt Everest."

Son: "Sher pa."

Why are most mountain climbers hippies?

Because scalars have no direction

(OC, as far as I know)

What did the mountain climber name his horse?

Everest. Any time he is bored I see him Mount Everest.

Chairman Mao was a keen rock climber who managed to scale all the top ten peaks of China. He commemorated his achievement by getting his ears pierced and adding 10 pieces of jewellery to represent each peak.

he was....(ahem)....MaoTenEarring.

I'M NO MOUNTAIN CLIMBER

I just finished this book on climbing Mt. Everest. Now I'm no mountain climber, but I smoke and I live on the third floor, so I can kind of relate. Everest is a lot like laundry day.

Why were the mountain climber's parents disappointed in him?

He was always high! ^(I'm sorry)

What do an asthmatic stoner and a one legged mountain climber have in common?

They both have difficulty getting high.

What is a mountain climber's favorite drink?

Anything on the rocks.

A Seattle Mariners fan, a Detroit Tigers fan, a Boston Red Sox fan, and a New York Yankees fan are climbing up a cliff.

They are arguing over who is most loyal to their team. It gets to the point where, when they are halfway up the cliff, the Tigers fan yells, "This is for Detroit!" He then jumps off the cliff and dies.

The three remaining climbers continue to climb until they are three-quarters of the way up ...

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What's the difference between a golfer and a climber?

A golfer goes whack......shit. A climber goes shit.......whack.

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A guy climbs Everest...

At the middle a very sexy blonde stops him and asks:

-Do you want me or to succeed?

The ambitious climber replied:
-Succeed, succeed.

And continued to climb.

Only 100 m to the peak of the mountain, a gorgeous looking brunette stops him and asks:

-Do you want me ...

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What is Yoda's last name?

"Lay Hee Whooo!"

Guys, I'm so sorry for posting this but my wife turned to me and asked this in all seriousness, then laughed her ass off when she told me the punchline. She's super proud of her terrible joke, and no I don't think Yoda is a Swiss mountain climber, I'm actually just really hap...

Teacher asks derp

Teacher: Derp, you are in a forest and a bear is getting close to you, what do you do?

Derp: I run.

Teacher: The bear is also running.

Derp: I run faster.

Teacher: The bear is also running faster, you can't outrun it.

Derp: I... climb in a tree!

Teacher: The...

Since there have been a few math jokes lately...

Q1. What do you get if you cross a mountain lion with a mountain goat?

A1. ||mountain lion|| ||mountain goat|| sin θ


Q2. What do you get when you cross a mountain lion with a mountain climber?

A2. You can't - the mountain climber is a scalar.

Physics Joke

A mountain climber goes out drinking with his friends.
He starts complaining "My wife called me annoying last night! She compared me to a mosquito." His buddy responded. "You know what they say. You can't cross a vector with a scalar."

A man goes on a trip to a mountain

When he arrives he sees the largest mountain he ever saw and decides so climb it. He goes, and goes, and goes.

Eventually he finds himself at the top of the mountain and sees the house of a wise man that lived isolated from society to meditate.

The wise man when sees the climber said...

Tour guide in the mountain

A guide was leading a group of people on a hike through some mountains. He pointed at a fairly majestic looking peak and said "This one is most popular with mountain climbers. Most days you have a few teams doing a climb. The ascent, depending on your skill level can take between two and five hours....

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The Ladder to success

A man is walking down the street and he comes across a ladder that reaches all the way up to the clouds. On the ladder there is a note that only says "Ladder To Success". He stares at it in bewilderment but decides to give it a shot. After climbing for hours he finally reaches the clouds. A morbidly...

Made in Thailand

Have you heard of the mountain climber from Bangkok?

He became famous as the Thai of the Eiger.

~

Who won the election for mayor of Bangkok?

It was a Thai.

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