What's the difference between a commuter's phone and a 737 MAX?

The phone doesn't randomly lose Lyft completely while operating.

A lady on a commuter train is reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics.



Fascinated, she turns to the man next to her and asks, “Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?”



“Really?” he said. “Have you tried a good mouthwash?”

Doctors are reporting a new disease affecting commuters in New York.

It only appears to be affecting drivers traveling in groups through the Lincoln Holland Tunnels. The symptoms are pain in the hands and wrists.

Doctors are calling it Car Pool Tunnel syndrome.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are two priests on a small commuter flight

with half a dozen kids from an orphanage. Half way through the flight the pilot comes back and says the plane has lost both engines, they are going to crash and there and only two parachutes.

The first priest says to the second "grab those 'chutes - we're out of here"

"What about the ...

It's hard work being a commuter.

You have to train a lot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The $25 peach.

Two commuters are hurrying down Madison Ave on the way to Grand Central to catch the 5:21 to Scarborough.

Ahead of them is a street vendor with a basket of peaches and a sign in the basket proclaiming "Best peaches you'll ever eat - $25 apiece."

Well one of the commuters is in marketin...

Cell phone in public...

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.
As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled
out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:
"Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train".
"Yes, I know it's the six t...

A Frenchman, a Cuban, and a Texan are seated together on a plane...

The pilot announces an engine failure in their small commuter craft. Shortly after, the second engine fails. The pilot, in an attempt to drop dead weight instructs all luggage and passenger items to be thrown overboard.


It isn't enough, they're not gonna be able to glide to safety. Th...

Job Application Humor

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Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest
convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."

That's what we're afraid of ...

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