UPJOKE
sentenceverbgrammardependent clausearticlepredicatesectionphraseexpressionridercontractprovisionsprovisionstipulationrequirement

What do you call a person who doesn't believe in Santa Clause?

Eggnog-stic.

The four stages of life, in Santa Clause terms.

1) You believe in Santa.

2) You don’t believe in Santa.

3) You pretend to be Santa.

4) You look like Santa.

What’s the difference between Santa Clause and a knight?

One slays a dragon, the other drags a sleigh!

What’s the difference between Donald Trump and Santa Clause?

Santa stops after 3 ho’s.

What does the Egyptian Santa Clause say when he enters a child's house?

I come bearing glyphs

What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause...

Daddy did too. Now they're getting a divorce. Merry Christmas my ass.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The teacher asks all students of her class to learn 4 clauses before the next class next day.

Amit goes to his busy dad and says

Amit : Daddy Daddy. Can you please tell me a clause?

Dad : Shut up

Amit : Thank you Daddy

Next, Amit goes to his mom who is busy cleaning trash.

Amit : Mommy Mommy, Can you please tell me a clause?

Mom : Trash

Am...

Why does Santa Clause hate Darth Vader?

He's always feeling his presents.

Where does Santa Clause stay when traveling?

In the Ho Ho Hotel

I punched the mall Santa Clause in the face

He called my daughter a 'ho'. 3 times!

My daughter identifies as a small group of words standing together as a conceptual unit, typically forming a component of a clause.

Should I be worried or is it just a phrase?

Why don’t Chinese people believe in Santa clause?

Because they are the ones who make the toys

Do you know why santa clause is always so happy?

Cause of all his ho’s

Woman gets a tattoo

A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh right up just below her bikini line. She
also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey. So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good. The woman then instruc...

Why dont saint nick and mrs clause have any kids?

Cause Santa only comes once a year and its down a chimney.

Santa and Mrs. Claus have decided to break up

However, finding a divorce lawyer at the North Pole is next to impossible, so instead they got a semicolon.

They're great at separating independent Clauses.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back.

"Ok, send me your mother."

Every year my uncle dresses as Santa Clause for me and my little brother.

Santa is coming really means something different in our family.

What do Santa Clause and Bill Cosby have in common ?

They don’t come until you’re asleep.

What do you call Santa's assistant?

The subordinate Clause.

"Here comes Santa Clause, here comes Santa Claus..." Okay, I get that part...

But why am I supposed to write down "Santa Claus lane"?

Christmas elves

An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."

There's an exception in the breaking and entering laws for people coming in through the chimney

It's called the Santa clause

Santa Clause walks into a bar.

The bar has 3 women.
Santa says: “Ho,ho,ho!”

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.