UPJOKE
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Avril Lavigne could have just called her song Skater boy instead of Sk8er Boi.

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

Russians are very flexible, and are world-class ballerinas, figure skaters, and gymnasts

They use their flexibility in other ways, too! It's the only country where there are regularly suicides with bullets to the *back* of the head.

Why are North Korean Figure Skaters so good?

It's all about the Execution

Why do skaters make terrible pirates?

Because they always go overboard.

Why isn't the Russian army as strong as expected?

Because they wasted all their steroids on figure skaters a month ago.

How many skaters does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but it will take 13 attempts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Former figure skater Michelle Kwan was caught by paparazzi, who took an unfortunate down-blouse pic.

Nevertheless, it's a perfect example of both quality and Kwan titty.

My friend has a really inspirational story.

He used to be a cop, but after a while the job really got to him. He was an alcoholic for a long time, and a particular thing for strong, dark beers.

Eventually though, my friend decided to make a change. He went to therapy, quit drinking, and he even quit his job to pursue his real passion....

What do you get when you cross the world's most famous skater with the world's best physicist?

A video game so realistic, when you screw up you have to play in a wheelchair.

[Please don't hurt me](http://i.imgur.com/3j5vABi.png)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man was sitting on a bench...

When a teenage skater punk sat down next to him. The kid has tattoos and piercings and a Mohawk dyed a half a dozen different colors. He notices the old man won't stop staring at him so says to him "What, you've never done anything fun in your life old man?" To which he calmly replies "Got drunk onc...

So a man was walking up to the ice rink during the Winter Olympics...

wanting to get a closer look at the ice skaters. He ends up slipping onto the rink, and he starts to catch himself as he is falling. Yet, somehow to his amazement he keeps a running fall up, and ends up spinning to the middle of the ice rink. He is slightly frazzled, having almost face planted on th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Divorced Barbie

One day a father, on his way home from work suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's
birthday.

He stops at a toy store and goes in and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?"

The salesperson answers, "Which one do you mean?"

"...

Sports injuries

An ice hockey player, a rodeo clown and a beautiful figure skater walk into a bar. After a couple of drinks they start to compare their injuries.

“None of my teeth are my own, I once lost seven teeth during one game.”, started the hockey player.

“Well, that’s nothing - during my care...

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