My 9 year old told me this one. What is the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

She's so petite and delicate so it was perfectly hilarious.

My sister bet me $100 I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti

You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta

Why was the spaghetti so exhausted?

Because it strained itself

A man and his wife are out to dinner when the wife drops spaghetti

Wife: “Dang it! I look like a pig!”

Husband: “And you spilled on your shirt.”

A worm climbs out of a plate of spaghetti and says…

that was one hell of an orgy

What's the secret ingredient in Bruce Buffer's spaghetti sauce?

iiiiiiit's Thyme!!!

So eminem opened up a mom’s spaghetti restaurant

What’s next? Dr Dre opening up a Dementia Research Facility?

My friend didn't believe me when I told her I could build a car entirely out of spaghetti.

She was very skeptical, but you should have seen her face when I drove pasta.

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If She Stayed In Italy To Raise The Child, He Would Also Provide Child Support Until The Child Turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for t...

Why is Mom's Spaghetti better than the covid vaccine?

cuz you only get one shot

I told my wife I was making a bicycle out of spaghetti. She didn't believe me...

Until I rode pasta.

What do girls and spaghetti have in common? [NSFW]

The both wiggle when you eat them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I sexually identify as a spaghetti.

Straight until wet.

A restaurant served me soggy spaghetti

So I put in a re-straining order.

Threw out a noodle I found in a packet of spaghetti.

It was the impasta.

Spaghetti wife is sitting the the waiting room, waiting for her husband to get out of surgery

The doctor walks in and says " Im sorry to inform you but your husband pasta-way."

A Macaroni, a Penne and a Spaghetti were drinking wine in a bar one evening. They saw a noodle sitting by himself and discussed inviting him to join them.

They all agreed he looked Cannelloni.

EDIT; Thank you for all the awards, I guess I pasta test!

If you die eating spaghetti...

you pasta way

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the woman who tried to solicit sex for spaghetti?

She got charged with Pastatution

What does a German-Italian call the flying spaghetti monster?

Oh manigott !

A farmer has four daughters named Betty, Mary, Flo, and Luck. who each have dates tonight.

He is overprotective about his daughters, and he fidgets with his shotgun a lot. He is also nervous about the boys coming to pick them up. He hears a knock on the door and opens it. There is standing one of the daughters dates.

The boy says,

"Hi my name is Teddy!

I'm here to pi...

What do you call a strip club that serves spaghetti and meatballs?

Titaly

My roommate is incredibly superstitious..

When he made breakfast, he yelled "Look at this! My Alpha-Bits are HAUNTED! I took a spoonful and it says 'OOOOOO'!" and I was like, "Dude, those are Cheerios.."

When he made lunch, he yelled "Dude, check this out! My alphabet soup is HAUNTED! I took a spoonful and it says 'OOOOOO'!" and I wa...

My ex left me because I was determined to buy van and sell spaghetti out of the back, she told me it wouldn’t work

You should have seen her face when I drove pasta

What did the cheese say to the spaghetti?

I'm gonna touch you. Do I have your parmesan?

Spaghetti with Meatballs isn't real Italian cuisine. It's made in America, posing as Italian cuisine.

Spaghetti with Meatballs is an **IMPASTA**!

Car made out of spaghetti

I told my neibourgh I had made a car out of spaghetti she said don't be rediculous, well she got a shock next day when I drove pasta

Where does a good Christian spaghetti go when he needs guidance?

To his local pasta

Women are like spaghetti.

They're only straight until they get wet.

I told my friend that he really shouldn't be using a straw and he replied, "Yeah, I know, I know, it's bad for the environment." I said, "Sure, there's that..."

"But it's just a really weird way of eating spaghetti."

So I went to buy some spaghetti at the store

It was so crowded to I grabbed one packet and ran out.
I pasta-out in the process...

Did you hear about the man who ate too much spaghetti?

He pasta-way

Why did the meatballs tell the spaghetti to go to sleep?

It was pasta bedtime.

What’s the difference between my ex and a bowl of spaghetti?

Spaghetti wiggles when I eat it.

Why is it so hard to eat spaghetti?

I'm not sure, but I heard it was in pasta bowl

One Friday Night Bob's four Teenage daughter were all going out on a dates.

Bob told his daughters, "As soon as your dates arrive I'll talk to them. If I don't like them, I'll shoot them."

The doorbell rang and bob answered the door, shotgun in hand. "Who are you?" Bob asked. The boy said, "My name is Teddy. I am going steady with Betty. We are getting Spaghetti. Is ...

Asked a mate about the Flying Spaghetti Monster

He said Well, it boils down to this

There was a pile up on Spaghetti Junction today.

Reports say that 4 people were injured and 3 pasta way.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Bull Fight!

A traveling business man is staying at a hotel in spain for a few nights. He goes down to the hotel's restaurant and tells the waiter to surprise him. So, the waiter brings out this huge plate of spaghetti with two huge meat balls on top.

The business man loved the dish and asked what kind of...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband dies after consuming spaghetti..

Doc: It appears that your husband died from a pierced abdomen.

Wife: How is it possible? All he had was spaghetti.

Doc: After consuming spaghetti, he took some viagra. You know what that does to limp noodles.

I really like going to the Old Spaghetti Factory, but..

I just wish they would make me a fresh plate.

I tried to build a car out of spaghetti, my wife lost her temper and said it would never work and threatened to leave me, anyway, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta. After a while my obsession got the better of me and she walked out..

Now I’m feeling cannelloni.

A lady calls into a doctors office frantically to get an appointment, to talk about her son.

Mom: "Hi, I was trying to get my son in to be seen today."

Nurse: "Ok, what seems to be the problem?"

Mom: "Yeah, he is complaining that his palms are sweaty and his knees are weak and his arms are heavy."

Nurse: "ok"

Mom: " And poor guy just puked. So now there's vomit o...

My girlfriend called me childish the other day

I was so shocked I nearly choked on my alphabetti spaghetti

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did ya'll ever hear about that lady who was selling sexual favors for spaghetti?

She was a pastatute

Spaghetti

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send m...

Are you spaghetti?

Cause I want you to meet my balls.

A priest and a nun are sitting at a dinner table, eating spaghetti

With every bite, the nun, a notoriously sloppy eater, spills sauce on her clothing.




The priest says to the nun, "You've got some stains on your tunic," to which the nun replies, "It's a dirty habit."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you put spaghetti to sleep?

You cover it in peanut butter until it dies.


My 4 year old made that up, along with a few others. Not sure how I feel about this.

What do you call someone who sells herself in exchange for a plate of spaghetti?

A pasta-tute

How much thyme does Mike Tyson put into his spaghetti?

About twenty minutes

A farmer has 3 daughters, each has a date lined up for the night.

The farmer waits on the front porch for the dates to arrive, shotgun on hand.


The first date shows up and says "Hello sir, I'm Eddy, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna go get some spaghetti, is she ready?". The farmer nods, and Eddy and Betty go on their way.


The next date shows u...

When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop.

He was known as the pasta barista baby.

What do you call off brand Spaghetti-Os?

Spaghettos

Why is bad code also referred to as 'spaghetti code'?

Because it was written by IT-aliens.

If I waited to long to eat my spaghetti, would I be....

Pro-pasta-nating?

How do you cook divine spaghetti?

Al Dante.

Alphabetti Spaghetti makes a handy ouija board...

...for contacting people who've pasta way.

Spaghetti.

A man has an affaire with an italian woman, and gets her pregnant by accident.


Because the man didn't want to hurt his reputation or his marriage he made a deal with the woman. He would financially take care of the kid from birth to the baby's 18th birthday if she would move to Italy and ...

I threw spaghetti, rotini, penne rigate, and farfalle on my scanner.

All I got was copy pasta

Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?

The meatball

Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery.

We're calling it Send Noods

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a hooker and farting after eating spaghetti?

One gets paid to have sex and the other's a pasta toot.

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