What's the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

My 10 year old daughter just told me this and I had to share.

I feel like a lot of girls are like spaghetti

Straight until wet

My sister bet me $15 I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti.

You should've seen her face when I drove pasta.

Did you hear about the man who ate too much spaghetti?

He pasta-way

Spaghetti with Meatballs isn't real Italian cuisine. It's made in America, posing as Italian cuisine.

Spaghetti with Meatballs is an **IMPASTA**!

How much thyme does Mike Tyson put into his spaghetti?

About twenty minutes

Where does a good Christian spaghetti go when he needs guidance?

To his local pasta

A priest and a nun are sitting at a dinner table, eating spaghetti

With every bite, the nun, a notoriously sloppy eater, spills sauce on her clothing.




The priest says to the nun, "You've got some stains on your tunic," to which the nun replies, "It's a dirty habit."

Why did the meatballs tell the spaghetti to go to sleep?

It was pasta bedtime.

What do you call someone who sells herself in exchange for a plate of spaghetti?

A pasta-tute

The flying spaghetti monster never died...

He pastaway.

A North American Elk walks into a pizzeria...

A North American Elk walks into a pizzeria and sits at an empty table while he waits for the waiter. The waiter hands him a menu and the Elk ponders for a bit. He's not really in the mood for pizza, so he narrows it down to pasta. The Elk is finally ready to order, so he calls for the waiter. The wa...

A farmer has four beautiful daughters

He’s a bit overprotective of them, so when Friday date night rolls around, he greets the gentlemen callers at the door with a shotgun over his shoulder.

Friday night rolls around, and the doorbell rings, so he walks to it, shotgun in hand, and opens it to a young man who says:

“Hi, I’...

What did the spaghetti say to the lasagna as he was murdering him

Pasta La vista

Why is bad code also referred to as 'spaghetti code'?

Because it was written by IT-aliens.

How is a woman like spaghetti?

They both wiggle when you eat them.

I told my friend that he really shouldn't be using a straw and he replied, "Yeah, I know, I know, it's bad for the environment." I said, "Sure, there's that..."

"But it's just a really weird way of eating spaghetti."

This morning I wrote a note on my container of spaghetti that read "Marios noodles" and left my lunch in the fridge...

At lunch, I see Luigi eating my Spaghetti!

I say, "Hey, didn't you see the note?" Those noodles were mine! you owe me a dollar!"

Outraged, Luigi stood and pointed at the crumpled up note. "No a pasta fee!"

Are you spaghetti?

Cause I want you to meet my balls.

Alphabetti Spaghetti makes a handy ouija board...

...for contacting people who've pasta way.

A worm crawls out of a bowl of spaghetti.

He says, "that was one hell of an orgy!"

I was teaching my son to cook spaghetti bolognese, he asked "How do I know when the spaghetti is ready?"

"Ah, that's the magic bit! You throw it at the wall and if it sticks, it's ready!" I smiled.

From over my shoulder I heard the clatter of a pan hitting the wall, then a voice said "Some of it stuck..."

What's Hailie's favorite food?

Mom's spaghetti.

How do you cook divine spaghetti?

Al Dante.

I'm like spaghetti: I'm straight!

as long as I stay away from the pot...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a woman that has sex for spaghetti?

A pastatute

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an Italian prostitute?

Spaghetti-ho.

I wanted to upset an Italian friend

So I broke some spaghetti in front of him

If I waited to long to eat my spaghetti, would I be....

Pro-pasta-nating?

Why did the spaghetti miss the field trip?

It lost its parmesan slip.

My 10 yr old was hugging the cat

, & whispering to him "I love you so much that you're the 2nd most loved thing in my life." Aww, I thought, she's still dada's little girl. Then she finished her whisper with "But spaghetti is my favorite thing."

When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop.

He was known as the pasta barista baby.

I got food poisoning from a can of Spaghetti-O’s....

It was the most painful vowel movement of my life.

My wife asked how you could tell if spaghetti was done, so I said throw it against the wall. If it sticks, it’s done.

Imagine my surprise when I went into the kitchen to find sauce all over the wall.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Italian Farmer was working the fields with his three sons and notices that two of them were out of breath because they were over weight.

He called over to his three sons and spoke to each of them.

Papa: "Luigi, why are you such a fat fuck?"
Luigi: "Papa, I love eating my wife's lasagna. It's so good!!!"
Papa: "Son, you need to take smaller bites."

Papa: "Mario, why are you such a fat fuck?"
Mario: "Papa, I lo...

Did you hear that the spaghetti noodle got into a car accident?

Paramedics tried to save him, but in the end, he pasta-way.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did ya'll ever hear about that lady who was selling sexual favors for spaghetti?

She was a pastatute

Men at work (1930's)

Three men are working a construction site. One man is Irish, one Italian, and one Polish. Every day the men eat lunch together. The Irishman opens his lunch and it's bangers and mash. It has been bangers and mash every day since he's started the job. He says to the other men, "If I get bangers and m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband dies after consuming spaghetti..

Doc: It appears that your husband died from a pierced abdomen.

Wife: How is it possible? All he had was spaghetti.

Doc: After consuming spaghetti, he took some viagra. You know what that does to limp noodles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a hooker and farting after eating spaghetti?

One gets paid to have sex and the other's a pasta toot.

Stirring the Sauce

A sweet and innocent young Italian girl gets married, but the girl's mother lives downstairs. The girl has never made love to a man before, and on their wedding night, when he takes off his shirt, she goes running downstairs."Momma, Momma," she cries. "I can't believe it! He has hair all over his ch...

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How do you put spaghetti to sleep?

You cover it in peanut butter until it dies.


My 4 year old made that up, along with a few others. Not sure how I feel about this.

A farmer has three daughters that are all going on their first dates...

The farmer decides to greet the suitors at the door with his shot gun. Around 5 the first boy arrives and rings the doorbell. “My names Joe, I’m here for flo, we’re going to the show, is she ready to go?”

The farmer thought he was alright, so off they went to their date.

Shortly afte...

My wife asked why the spaghetti sauce tasted odd

I told her I didn't have the thyme to make it right.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was going to eat a spaghetti squash...

But then I thought, "Nah, I butternut."

Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery.

We're calling it Send Noods

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bad porn is like bad spaghetti

It's overdone, the noodles are soft, and it's *waaaaaaay* to saucy for my tastes.

How does the president like his spaghetti

Al presi-dente

Why can't you feed spaghetti to a male cow?

Because it's im-pasta-bull.

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A farmer has three daughters...

Who all have dates on the same night. Considering how protective the farmer is as a father, he sat and waited for the boys with a shotgun in hand.

The first boy showed up: “I’m Eddy, lookin’ for Betty. We plan on spaghetti from Teddy’s, is she ready?”

The farmer took a good look at the...

Pmsl

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. Furthermore, if she sta...

Spaghetti.

A man has an affaire with an italian woman, and gets her pregnant by accident.


Because the man didn't want to hurt his reputation or his marriage he made a deal with the woman. He would financially take care of the kid from birth to the baby's 18th birthday if she would move to Italy and ...

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