What's the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

My 10 year old daughter just told me this and I had to share.

Did you hear about the man who ate too much spaghetti?

He pasta-way

Spaghetti with Meatballs isn't real Italian cuisine. It's made in America, posing as Italian cuisine.

Spaghetti with Meatballs is an **IMPASTA**!

My mum said you would never make a car out of spaghetti...

You should've seen her face when I drove pasta.

my tinder date told me that I shouldn't be using a straw

I quickly respond "I know, I know. It's bad for the environment."

"No," she replied, "it's just a weird way to eat spaghetti."

The flying spaghetti monster never died...

He pastaway.

Why did the meatballs tell the spaghetti to go to sleep?

It was pasta bedtime.

What did the spaghetti say to the lasagna as he was murdering him

Pasta La vista

Where does a good Christian spaghetti go when he needs guidance?

To his local pasta

A priest and a nun are sitting at a dinner table, eating spaghetti

With every bite, the nun, a notoriously sloppy eater, spills sauce on her clothing.




The priest says to the nun, "You've got some stains on your tunic," to which the nun replies, "It's a dirty habit."

Why is bad code also referred to as 'spaghetti code'?

Because it was written by IT-aliens.

Alphabetti Spaghetti makes a handy ouija board...

...for contacting people who've pasta way.

I was teaching my son to cook spaghetti bolognese, he asked "How do I know when the spaghetti is ready?"

"Ah, that's the magic bit! You throw it at the wall and if it sticks, it's ready!" I smiled.

From over my shoulder I heard the clatter of a pan hitting the wall, then a voice said "Some of it stuck..."

What do you call someone who sells themself in exchange for spaghetti?

A pasta-tute

Are you spaghetti?

Cause I want you to meet my balls.

How is a woman like spaghetti?

They both wiggle when you eat them.

How do you cook divine spaghetti?

Al Dante.

Why did the spaghetti miss the field trip?

It lost its parmesan slip.

A worm crawls out of a bowl of spaghetti.

He says, "that was one hell of an orgy!"

A farmer's 3 daughters are going on a date

A farmer is concerned that all 3 of his daughters are going on a date tonight. He decided he'll greet each man who shows up tonight with his shotgun in hand.

The first man to ring the doorbell greets the farmer with, "Hi, my names Joe.
I'm here for Flo.
We're going to see the show.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a woman that has sex for spaghetti?

A pastatute

If I waited to long to eat my spaghetti, would I be....

Pro-pasta-nating?

Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?

The meatball

I'm like spaghetti: I'm straight!

as long as I stay away from the pot...

I got food poisoning from a can of Spaghetti-O’s....

It was the most painful vowel movement of my life.

Pregnant Italian lover

A married man who had an Italian lover for many years learned one day that she was pregnant. The two struck up a deal, in which she would return to Italy to give birth to their child and keep his identity secret in exchange for a large sum of money. In addition, the father would continue to provide ...

My wife asked how you could tell if spaghetti was done, so I said throw it against the wall. If it sticks, it’s done.

Imagine my surprise when I went into the kitchen to find sauce all over the wall.

Did you hear that the spaghetti noodle got into a car accident?

Paramedics tried to save him, but in the end, he pasta-way.

When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop.

He was known as the pasta barista baby.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did ya'll ever hear about that lady who was selling sexual favors for spaghetti?

She was a pastatute

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a hooker and farting after eating spaghetti?

One gets paid to have sex and the other's a pasta toot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when an Italian date that doesn’t end in sex?

Spaghetti and blue balls

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heterosexual women are just like spaghetti....

They're straight, until they get wet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband dies after consuming spaghetti..

Doc: It appears that your husband died from a pierced abdomen.

Wife: How is it possible? All he had was spaghetti.

Doc: After consuming spaghetti, he took some viagra. You know what that does to limp noodles.

A North American Elk walks into a pizzeria...

A North American Elk walks into a pizzeria and sits at an empty table while he waits for the waiter. The waiter hands him a menu and the Elk ponders for a bit. He's not really in the mood for pizza, so he narrows it down to pasta. The Elk is finally ready to order, so he calls for the waiter. The wa...

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How do you put spaghetti to sleep?

You cover it in peanut butter until it dies.


My 4 year old made that up, along with a few others. Not sure how I feel about this.

A friend bet me that I couldn't turn spaghetti into a motor vehicle

She was really mad when I drove pasta

My wife asked why the spaghetti sauce tasted odd

I told her I didn't have the thyme to make it right.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was going to eat a spaghetti squash...

But then I thought, "Nah, I butternut."

For several years, a man was having an affair

with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support ...

How does the president like his spaghetti

Al presi-dente

Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery.

We're calling it Send Noods

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