The 60+ Best Spaghetti Jokes

Spaghetti

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the chi...

I wanted to try Spaghetti in Italy to see if it was better, but it tasted the same.

Though it was a bit cold from the flight over.

I Finally killed the Spaghetti guardian boss.

He pasta-way

I started cooking spaghetti.

Just to pasta time.

I told my friend that he really shouldn't be using a straw and he replied, "Yeah, I know, I know, it's bad for the environment." I said, "Sure, there's that..."

"But it's just a really weird way of eating spaghetti."

Spaghetti car

Told my wife I could make a car from spaghetti.
Should’ve seen her face when I drove pasther !!

There was a farmer who had three daughters

All of his 3 daughters were going on their first dates that same evening. Being protective of them, he decided to meet their suitors at the front door with his gun.

So the first suitor arrived and told the farmer: "Hi I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?" T...

I told my wife I was making a bicycle out of spaghetti. She didn't believe me...

Until I rode pasta.

How does a guy from Boston ask his minister to pass him the spaghetti at dinner?

"Pastah pastah pastah."

A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti…

It says, “Damn, that was one hell of an orgy!”

A Macaroni, a Penne and a Spaghetti were drinking wine in a bar one evening. They saw a noodle sitting by himself and discussed inviting him to join them.

They all agreed he looked Cannelloni.

EDIT; Thank you for all the awards, I guess I pasta test!

My 9 year old told me this one. What is the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

She's so petite and delicate so it was perfectly hilarious.

The farmer and his daughters.

There is a farmer with three, beautiful daughters. He was always wary of them dating horrible guys so he forbid them to date their entire teenage lives.

But when they turned eighteen the daughters told their father he couldn’t stop them from dating anymore and the farmer, so, instead of fig...

A man and his wife are out to dinner when the wife drops spaghetti

Wife: “Dang it! I look like a pig!”

Husband: “And you spilled on your shirt.”

A farmer had three daughters

And they all three had dates planned for this evening. The farmer got his shotgun out to clean as well for added intimidation for the gentlemen callers.
At 5PM there was a knock on the door, so the farmer answered it with his shotgun in tow.

A young man was standing in the stoop, and said,...

Why is Mom's Spaghetti better than the covid vaccine?

cuz you only get one shot

A restaurant served me soggy spaghetti

So I put in a re-straining order.

"Buzz, why in tarnation did ya shoot the spaghetti?", Woody exclaimed.

Buzz leaned back with a satisfied smile.

"Wasn't up to my standards", he commented.

"What do you mean?", Woody replied.

"Flavours were off."

"You... you've had spaghetti?"

"It's a Space Ranger specialty. In all emergency ration kits. And given how many emergencies ...

Did you hear about the guy who died from eating spaghetti?

He pasta way.

I asked the flight attendant what was in the spaghetti sauce

She said don't worry it's plane pasta.

Why was the spaghetti so exhausted?

Because it strained itself

What's the secret ingredient in Bruce Buffer's spaghetti sauce?

iiiiiiit's Thyme!!!

What do girls and spaghetti have in common? [NSFW]

The both wiggle when you eat them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I sexually identify as a spaghetti.

Straight until wet.

So eminem opened up a mom’s spaghetti restaurant

What’s next? Dr Dre opening up a Dementia Research Facility?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The patient goes to see a doctor: “I am pooping like noodles!”

“Like literally, my poop is shaped like noodles,” the patient says as he sits down in the consulting room.

Doc is dumbfounded. In all his years of training and practice, he hasn’t encountered a symptom like this. He thinks hard and prescribes some antibiotics, hoping they will solve the probl...

All of a sudden, the Marvel, DC, and Image Comics universes merged into one.

In no time at all, the superheroes joined forces and managed to capture all of the villains and throw them in prison with those special de-powering collars they used in Deadpool 2.

Imagine Magneto's frustration as he was led into a cell and locked up behind metal bars, which normally would be...

What did the cheese say to the spaghetti?

I'm gonna touch you. Do I have your parmesan?

Threw out a noodle I found in a packet of spaghetti.

It was the impasta.

Car made out of spaghetti

I told my neibourgh I had made a car out of spaghetti she said don't be rediculous, well she got a shock next day when I drove pasta

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Did you hear about the woman who tried to solicit sex for spaghetti?

She got charged with Pastatution

What do you call a strip club that serves spaghetti and meatballs?

Titaly

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A husband dies after consuming spaghetti..

Doc: It appears that your husband died from a pierced abdomen.

Wife: How is it possible? All he had was spaghetti.

Doc: After consuming spaghetti, he took some viagra. You know what that does to limp noodles.

Spaghetti wife is sitting the the waiting room, waiting for her husband to get out of surgery

The doctor walks in and says " Im sorry to inform you but your husband pasta-way."

What’s the difference between my ex and a bowl of spaghetti?

Spaghetti wiggles when I eat it.

What does a German-Italian call the flying spaghetti monster?

Oh manigott !

A man yells to his waiter: “There’s a pubic hair in my soup!”

Waiter: “No reason to be so upset, it is just a hair”
Man: “I understand, it’s just a little hair, but i prefer things with right timing!”
Waiter: ”And how’s that?”
Man: ”Let’s say you go down on your wife, would you be ok finding a spaghetti?”

Blind guy walks into a restaurant.

Restaurant waiter and owner ,Paul goes to him politely and asks him what he'd like to eat. The blind guy tells Paul to give him a plate of the previous person that ate there , he'll smell the plate and tell Paul if he wants the meal. So Paul goes into the kitchen and asks his wife Mary (who happens ...

Did you hear about the man who ate too much spaghetti?

He pasta-way

Why is it so hard to eat spaghetti?

I'm not sure, but I heard it was in pasta bowl

Asked a mate about the Flying Spaghetti Monster

He said Well, it boils down to this

The Poacher and the Bishop of Ely

One day, Sam the poacher is off doing his thing in the fields, when he sees the Bishop of Ely, on his way home from a banquet, urgently looking round for a bush- any bush. Sam, seeing this, only goes and hides behind the same bush as the Bishop. Realising what the Bishop is up to, quick as a flash...

I feel like a lot of girls are like spaghetti

Straight until wet

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Did ya'll ever hear about that lady who was selling sexual favors for spaghetti?

She was a pastatute

I really like going to the Old Spaghetti Factory, but..

I just wish they would make me a fresh plate.

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Travelling salesman

There was a travelling salesmen who had the job since he was he was seventeen so was constantly on the road, and had only ever slept with prostitutes his whole life. Due to this fact he had never went down on a woman for fear of where they might have been, although it was something he always desired...

How do you tell a boy spaghetti from a girl spaghetti?

Meatballs

Why was there spaghetti coming out of the oven vent?

It was an impasta.

So I went to buy some spaghetti at the store

It was so crowded to I grabbed one packet and ran out.
I pasta-out in the process...

Spaghetti.

A man has an affaire with an italian woman, and gets her pregnant by accident.

Because the man didn't want to hurt his reputation or his marriage he made a deal with the woman. He would financially take care of the kid from birth to the baby's 18th birthday if she would move to Italy and ...

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How do you put spaghetti to sleep?

You cover it in peanut butter until it dies.

My 4 year old made that up, along with a few others. Not sure how I feel about this.

I tried to build a car out of spaghetti, my wife lost her temper and said it would never work and threatened to leave me, anyway, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta. After a while my obsession got the better of me and she walked out..

Now I’m feeling cannelloni.

There was a pile up on Spaghetti Junction today.

Reports say that 4 people were injured and 3 pasta way.

When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop.

He was known as the pasta barista baby.

Are you spaghetti?

Cause I want you to meet my balls.

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A man walks into a restaurant after a bull fight

A man walks into a Spanish restaurant after a big bull fight. He looks at the menu for a bit and spots ‘meatballs del toro’. So he calls the waiter over and orders this plate. Later, two giant, steaming meatballs come out atop a large plate of spaghetti. Best meatballs the man has ever had. He leave...

Spaghetti

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send m...

If I waited to long to eat my spaghetti, would I be....

Pro-pasta-nating?

How much thyme does Mike Tyson put into his spaghetti?

About twenty minutes

Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery.

We're calling it Send Noods

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