An old man is worried that his wife is starting to go deaf.

The old man goes to the doctor and says, "My wife can't hear very well anymore and I'm getting worried. What should I do to help her?"

The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "First we need to understand how serious the problem is. Stand 25 feet away from her and ask her a question. If she d...

Lasagna is one of the easiest meals to make...

It's a pizza cake.

Leaving work, my coworker said, "Hasta lasagna!"

I replied, "Pasta la vista!"

What did the lasagna say to the pizza after having an affair for a while?

We have to stop, I think Spaghetti sauce!

What did the spaghetti say to the lasagna as he was murdering him

Pasta La vista

Happily Married

There is a couple who have been married for 30 years. Every Friday for dinner the husband would come home from work and the wife would serve him a huge bowl of chilli. One friday, the husband comes home with a colleague so the wife serves up two bowls. When the wife gets up to go to the kitchen, the...

A boy and his father are eating lasagna at the dinner table...

The father says ''make sure to lean over your plate, son.''

The boy asks ''but why?''

The father replies with ’'so, you'll get less-on-ya''

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Italian Farmer was working the fields with his three sons and notices that two of them were out of breath because they were over weight.

He called over to his three sons and spoke to each of them.

Papa: "Luigi, why are you such a fat fuck?"
Luigi: "Papa, I love eating my wife's lasagna. It's so good!!!"
Papa: "Son, you need to take smaller bites."

Papa: "Mario, why are you such a fat fuck?"
Mario: "Papa, I lo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to the supermarket..

He shops around for a while getting some items then proceeds to the register.

Cashier: "ok sir, six pack of beer, frozen lasagna, Doritos, hot pockets, and peanut butter. So how's single life?"

Guy "wow, you can tell I'm single because of the items I'm buying?"

Cashier: "no, it...

A man goes to a restaurant..

A man goes to a restaurant and is ready to order
' So what would you have, sir?'

Yes, I would like to order lasagna please

'Sir.. this is a Chinese restaurant..'

Oh I'm so sorry! I would rike to order the rasagna prease!

No wonder I'm waiting for my Prince

His white horse has ended up in the lasagna

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young woman is about to get married...

She says to her mom, "I need you to teach me everything I need to know to make my husband happy."

The mom gets really embarrassed and starts, "Well, sweetie, when a man and a woman are in love, they sometimes what to be physically close to each other..."

The young woman cuts her off. "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Italian Family Dinner

A joke from my rugby coach -- better told in person with the clapping, but try to imagine :)



Sitting at dinner, an Italian father looks at his three grown sons.

He asks the oldest, Mario, "Mario, why are you-a so fat?"

Mario responds, "Papa, Mama's spaghetti is just-a s...

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