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Cuisine Jokes

Canada could have had it all: American industry, British Culture, and French Cuisine.

Instead, they got: French Industry, American culture, and British cuisine

A man goes on a business trip to Boston and wants to try out the local cuisine.

So, as he gets into the cab at the airport, he asks the driver "Where can I get Scrod?" The driver replies "Mister, I've been asked that question many times and in many ways but never before in the Past Pluperfect Possessive."

There once lived a homeless man

The homeless man is wandering about a riverbank one day, when he spots a young woman whose tripped and fell into the river.

Being the kind soul he is, he doesn't hesitate to jump in and rescue her.

All is well, as he managed to save her from drowning.

Suddenly, the richest man ...

Which famous children's author loved Indian cuisine?

Roald Daal

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An Englishman, an American and a Japanese guy are on a boat, moments away from plunging over a waterfall to their doom...

Suddenly a genie appears. The genie explains that he is of limited power. He cannot prevent their inevitable deaths, but he can grant each man one wish before he dies.

The American steps up first. 'I love my country. Before I die I want to sing my national anthem one last time. The full versi...

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An American businessman goes to Japan for the meeting of his career.

He arrives a day early to prepare for the meeting, he tries some sushi and sake at a local restaurant. Feeling tempted to try more "local cuisine" he hires an escort for the evening. Night falls and he takes his escort up to his hotel room for some fun, he gives her all he's got and he knows she's l...

An 85 year old couple is going on holiday, when they suddenly die in a plane crash...

They had been married for 60 years, and kept in good health due to their healthy diet and regular exercise.

When they reached heaven, St. Peter took them to their mansion, decked out with a fully stocked kitchen, master bath suite, and their very own jacuzzi. As his wife 'oohed' and 'aahed' a...

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A blind man once entered a fancy restaurant

A blind man once entered a restaurant known for its exquisite cuisines, with the help of some people he managed to sit at a table and called out for the waiter

The waiter being extremely courteous asked if he wanted the menu to be read out loud, the blind man said it wasn't necessary, all the...

I went into this fancy restaurant…

…and asked:
“Can I have some Sesame Chicken please?”

The waiter said “sorry sir, this restaurant is French Cuisine “

“Ok, can I have Sesame Chicken, s”il vous plait?”

I posted some misinformation about Vietnamese cuisine on Facebook

Now i regret. I should've known they'd banh mi for that.

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I asked my Japanese girlfriend to make me a traditional dish tasty enough to make me fall in love with her national cuisine.

Sushi did.

My wife hated my obsession with Asian cuisine...

Sushi left me.

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A Rare Dish

This is a long one.

An English cook is trying to build up his skills as a chef. He's been working for years learning all sorts of rare and unique dishes to serve at his mentor's restaurant.

One day a wealthy guest at the restaurant asks to meet the cook and says "While I enjoyed the me...

Everyone was shocked when the chef started talking foreign during a culinary show.

Nobody expects the Spanish-in-cuisine-show!

Did you hear about the Asian cuisine chef that dropped a dumpling on the floor?

He was charged with wonton endangerment.

I want to open a restaurant that fuses Chinese and Middle Eastern cuisine

I call it "Wok like an Egyptian".

What do you call it when two people bring identical lunches to the office?

A cuisine-kydink.

Sorry.

A pair of Amish girls visiting NYC decide to try hot dogs for the first time

They buy two hot dogs wrapped in foil from a street vendor and sit down on a nearby bench, excited to finally try this modern cuisine.

The first girl opens the foil, blushes with embarrassment, and shyly asks the second girl, "What part of the dog did you get?"

Canada got it all wrong!

So Canada got it all wrong. I mean, they had the opportunity to have American technology, British culture and French cuisine, but went with American culture, British cuisine and French technology!

Heard this about 20 years ago and it still makes me chuckle. Can’t beat a good stereotype!

This is probably the worst joke that I -a dad - ever told. But it still made my daughter laugh.

My wife, teenage daughter and I are sitting in a restaurant discussing Italian cuisine.

Wife: There's nothing better than fresh gnocchi.

Me: There's nothing better than getting fresh and gnocching someone up.

Why did the quarantine shut down the Indian Cuisine?

Because it was a naan-Essential business.

A politically incorrect joke about language

Investors want to make a holiday resort on an uninhabited island. They hire 3 experts to get life going there.

To the Frenchman they say, "you are in charge of cuisine".

To the German they say, "you are in charge of accommodation".

To the Finn they say, "you are in charge of su...

Outback Steakhouse just updated their menu ....

You can order all all sorts of new and authentic Australian cuisine... but it’s all well done

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Just before the pandemic, an American man and his son are vacationing in China...

They were staying at the local Holiday Inn. In the morning, the manager calls up to their room to tell them that they were getting a complimentary Continental breakfast every day. The father and son were both happy.
They immediately go down to the morning buffet and are amazed to see an...

A Mexican dock worker is loading a ship...

A Mexican dock worker is loading a boat with a shipment of French cuisine, when his boss happens to walk by. The boss asks, "hey, what's that you're loading over there?"

The dock worker replies, "Es cargo."

How to get there faster

The couple was 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their pl...

Had Mexican terrorist cuisine for lunch today...

The ricin beans were delicious.

I've opened up a new restaurant named 'Karma'

We serve Asian cuisine starting at $8.99

Karma doesn't give you any punchlines

Unites Airlines newest in-flight cuisine

Chinese Takeout

Everyone was curious why the Michelin Star chef named his pioneered cuisine "Span"

"Cuz nobody expects it when the Span is in cuisine, son"

I like both kinds of british cuisine...

fish AND chips.

What do you call leftover French cuisine?

Deja food

What's the first step to preparing American cuisine?

Remove packaging and pierce film

Did you hear about the board game which traps you in a mystical world of French cuisine from which you must eat you way out?

It's called "Je manger."

At my school, the cafeteria has "World Cuisine" day once a week, in which one foreign nation's traditional cuisine is on the menu. Last week, the country was Ethiopia...

...they served us nothing.

I studied human thought and cuisine in the Middle East.

I earned my bachelor's in Falafelsophy.

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Man travels to Spain

A man travels to Spain and decides to watch one of the bullfighting matches for which Spain is well known.

The match was intense & thrilling. Unlike anything which can be found anywhere else in the world. Afterwards there was a celebration for the Torero (Bullfighter) and the crowd slowl...

What is the proper term for a lover of East Indian cuisine who doesn’t deviate from the norm?

A naan conformist.

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A tourist in Spain goes to a restaurant and notices another man eating something odd.

Interested in savoring the local cuisine, he calls the waiter over. "Excuse me," he says, "what is that man having?"

The waiter says, "Bull testicles. As you know, bullfights are common here in Spain. After the fight is over the testicles are removed and served here."

Intrigued, the ma...

Heaven and Hell

"Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and it is all organized by the Swiss. Hell is where the police are German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss and it is all organized by the Italians."

Bonus:
"Canada ...

Bullfighting novice

A tourist goes to Spain wanting to see some bullfights. After attending a full day of it, he fells quite hungry and goes to a little restaurant just by the bullfighting stadium. The special of the day are the meatballs, which he orders without much enthusiasm. Just some meatballs in a small restaur...

A Plane Full of Americans, French and Cubans Crashes on an Island Full of Cannibals (Cuban Joke)

The cannibals quickly round everyone up and separate them by nationality.

First, they call forward the French. One of the Frenchmen tries to convince the cannibals that instead of cooking them they should try some delicious French cuisine instead. The cannibals let the French prepare a feast ...

What's the healthiest cuisine?

Vitaminese food.

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