UPJOKE
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Trump reportedly asked to be added to Mount Rushmore

Turns out granite isn't a dense enough material to represent him

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

Holy shit this blew up

When Putin began his first term in office…

When Putin began his first term in office in 1999, he asked the then outgoing president Boris Yeltsin if he had any advice for him since he, Putin had no prior experience in politics.


Yeltsin reportedly handed him two envelopes and said, if things go bad, open the first envelope. If thing...

Local man reportedly addicted to brake fluid,

Says he can stop whenever he wants.

A small meteorite is reportedly headed for Lego Land

The damage is expected to be about 50 square blocks

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Microsoft made cars.

Disclaimer: This Joke was made in the 1990's in response to comments that if the automobile industry kept pace with Silicone Valley cars would be much more advanced. The origin is the Mid 1990's
However at close retrospect some of this now happens.





At a computer expo (...

Trump is reportedly upset that the Ukraine just elected a comedian as president.

Oh, Crimea river!

President Trump has reportedly contracted coronavirus

Finally, something positive about Trump.

Bruce Willis has admitted to making an "error of judgement" after reportedly being asked to leave a Los Angeles store for refusing to wear a face mask. Apparently, he wasn't even aware of the effects of his actions until a young boy walked up to him and said...

"I see dead people."

Report: Tom Brady to retire.

Fans hoping for one more season reportedly deflated by the news.

A young woman reportedly froze to death.

Her boyfriend had repeatedly warned her it was cold outside.

A man was reportedly shot over two hundred times last night with an upholstery gun....

Medics say that he's fully recovered.

Counterfeit $1 bills reportedly found in circulation

Be on the lookout for hot singles in your area.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong-Un has reportedly made a public appearance after opening a fertiliser factory.

I smell bullshit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Headline: Quenched Dench benched for a French wench finch pinch.

Press Release \[Paris\]:
Legendary actress "Dame Judi", reportedly intoxicated, was suspended from her current production for allegedly stealing a Paris prostitute's pet bird.

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