Breaking news: Conspiracy against trump confirmed.

In a recent study of ballots it has become apparent that there was in fact a Conspiracy during the election.

Turns out it was way worse than the Republicans first thought though, it is now believed that a massive conspiracy involving some 81 million American adults conspired together against ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In 2020, it has been confirmed that the Earth is neither flat nor round.

It's fucked.

The World Health Organisation has confirmed canines do not carry the virus and can be released from pounds.

WHO let the dogs out.

Chuck Norris has been confirmed to be exposed to COVID-19

Virus has been quarantined for 14 days

Scientists have confirmed a new strain of bird flu going around

It's transmitted from crows and ravens to people. They've named it Corvid-19

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scientists confirmed West Virginia has zero cases of COVID-19

This was due to the fact that one family was immune to the strain.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It has actually been confirmed in a recent Batman comic that Robin's dick has no color at all.

Dick gray, son!

It’s confirmed . Fresh cow dung can stop corona

Dip both your hands in fresh cow dung before going out.

This will make sure that

a) you will not touch your eyes, nose, ear or mouth.

b) nobody will shake hands with you.

c) Nobody will come near you when you are out in the streets.

d) You will wash your hands thor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

West Virginia is the last US state without a confirmed case of COVID-19.

Not because they don’t have it, but because they can’t figure out how to read the tests.

What's similar between the squareroot of -1 and the number of confirmed cases in China

They are both not real numbers

I want to know if this brazillian joke makes sense in other cultures

A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.

A man went out and did not return home. On the next day, he to...

I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT MY GIRLFRIEND IS NOW EATING FOR TWO!!! after a doctor's visit yesterday he confirmed what we’ve been suspecting for weeks now.

she has a tapeworm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This whole pandemic is a conspiracy.

This whole pandemic is a conspiracy.

The Altoids Corporation teamed up with the makers of Tic-Tacs and Listerene Breath Strips and made this virus in a lab in Wu-Tang so that all the rest of us would be forced to smell our own stank-ass breath and buy millions of dollars worth of mints.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

America just announced about an hour ago that we officially have the world's most confirmed COVID-19 cases.

\#1 AGAIN, bitches.

Amazon Employee in Seattle Confirmed to have Coronavirus.

Prime customers expected to have it by Tomorrow if they order within the next 1 hr and 21 mins

Smith was a man of cold facts, a scientist, a computer jock, and a confirmed atheist.

He became somewhat obsessed with the desire to prove the truth as he saw it. So he mortgaged his house and sold his car in order to put a down payment on the most powerful computer commercially available. Then Smith plugged it into every data bank in the world, accessed every library in the United S...

So there's only one state with no confirmed coronavirus infections, do you know which one it is?

The state of denial

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old fisherman suspected his wife of cheating, so he hired a private investigator...

This is a long one, so bear with me.

The fisherman and his wife lived in Saint John’s, Newfoundland and he made his living by going out into the ocean to net cod under the watchful eye of his captain.

In those days, the best fishing was to be found far out on the banks very far from...

I just admitted to my wife that I have been confirmed COVID19 positive.

She said that this puts a real strain on our relationship.

A toilet has been confirmed stolen

Unfortunately, the police have nothing to go on

The Joker movie was just confirmed to have an R rating.

That's good because without the 'R' it would just be a Joke.

Took a chance and it almost worked

Our science teacher loves creating multiple choice tests and odds are pretty good with the "just answer C" method.

We were discussing that amongst my friends when the popular girls a table over asked if it was true. We confirmed and showed our last graded tests where we "guessed" a few answe...

Grant Imahara walks up to the pearly gates...

As he looks around, confused, a booming voice speaks to him across the clouds...

“...Myth confirmed.”

The RCMP found over 2000 dead crows on Alberta highways recently...

The RCMP found over 2000 dead crows on Alberta highways recently, and there was concern that they may have died from the Avian Flu. A pathologist examined the remains of all the dead crows, and to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT the Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from ...

The US Military today confirmed that two marijuana users were killed when an aircraft crashed into a house shortly after takeoff.

Experts are saying it's the first recorded instance of killing two stoners with one bird.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctors have confirmed that masturbation is life threatening

Many men have died after having a stroke

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had an odd hunch that my brother would watch horror-themed clown porn in the park. So i bought a pair of binoculars with a 5280 feet capability, and used them to view his usual bench from afar. When he finally sat down and pulled out his phone, my suspicions were confirmed

I saw It cumming from a mile away

With the announcement of the first picture of a black hole, scientists have confirmed

once you go black you never do come back

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walked into his doctor's office...

...complaining that he thinks he might have a tapeworm. The doctor made a physical examination and listened to the symptoms, and concurred with the self-diagnosis.

"I want you to come back tomorrow to start treatment. And bring an apple, and an orange and a Mars Bar" said the doctor.

D...

Going to bed feels like a cliffhanger

It's been getting worse since they haven't confirmed we'll be renewed for another season.

I always suspected that my neighbors had weird traditions, and it was confirmed when I saw them donating their deceased

It was a dead giveaway

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So as some of you probably already heard Overwatch character Soldier 76 was confirmed to be a gay.

His voiceline *"Well, all that stuff they pumped into me has to be good for something."* did not age well though.

This pregnancy test I just took confirmed my worst fear.

I'm just fat.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about...

The terrorist that was recently caught at a London airport with 3 cans of Spam jammed up his arse?

Police later confirmed he was a member of Ham Ass.

Did you hear they confirmed Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders in the glove box

Did you know that on the way to the Moon the Apollo 11 crew heard rock music coming from outside?

Mission Control confirmed they were passing through the Van Halen belts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A jew is in the hospital with Coronavirus

Moishe was put into a hospital with a confirmed case of Coronavirus, and so, is obviously quarantined.

The doctor came in and Moishe asked “Doctor, what can I be treated with?”

“Well,” said the doctor, “from today, you’ll be on a strict Matzah diet.”

“Matzah diet?”

“Yeah...

A guy was riding his bike across the border with a bag

The border police waves him aside and ask what it’s in the bag. He answered „sand“ and after the police looked into it they confirmed it’s really sand and let him pass

The next day the guy wanted to cross the border again with a bag full of sand. The police were skeptical but they haven’t fo...

A man needed to travel to Moscow in order to take care of some government business.

A man needed to travel to Moscow in order to take care of some government business. Having to stop at night at an inn, the man asks if there's any room available - the clerk replies that there is a free bed, but it's in a room with three other people. Seeing no other choice, the traveler takes the b...

Scientists say there are now 4 confirmed states of matter

Solid matter
Liquid matter
Gas matter
and most recently...
Black Lives matter

A programmer walks into a bar.

He gets a seat, and starts to whine about his day. He does it in a civil manner, so the bartender doesn't mind, but he whines.

First his girlfriend ditched him.

"I think the reason was I wasn't putting out enough. Still hurt." Said the programmer.

"That can be tough." Said the b...

The man who invented the remote control was confirmed dead today...

They found his body down the back of the sofa.

I'm glad that DeVos was confirmed as education secretary.

Now I don't have to worry about my grandkids being able to read some of my dumbest Facebook posts... or anything else, for that matter.

NASA confirmed that, in the end of the afternoon of day 21, the skies are going to be very dark.

It's a phenomenon called "Night".

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.