A 5 year old was asked to name any 4 sources of food

1. Plants
2. Animals
3. Uber Eats
4. Foodpanda

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

JOE BIDEN:...

Why God? Why?

One day a fellow was watching Fox News and learned about a new virus that was rapidly spreading and quickly killing those who got sick with it. The nightly news reports got worse and worse, this Covid-19 virus was spreading around the world and killing increasingly large numbers of people. But he wa...

What news sources do fish prefer?

Click bait (sorry for the dad joke)

A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so ...

Hey, do you want to come back to my place and regulate our body temperatures using external sources?

No hom(e)o(stasis)

It turns out that one of the doctors who I credited as a source in my book about impostor syndrome had falsified his credentials...

.. but every single one of my sources has so far admitted to being the fraudster.

A man walked past three sources of water. He said...

Well, well, well

In high school I tried using anonymous sources instead of real citations.

This was not allowed, because I was a ninth grader and not a journalist.

"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry... Because I always back up my rage with facts and well documented sources"

-The Credible Hulk

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW Be careful not to buy Viagra from Russian sources

They are attempting to meddle in our erections.

A old man gets called to Income Tax Office

A old man gets called to Income Tax Office.
He goes there with his lawyer.
Income Tax Officer (ITO) : You are so old, and live such a lavish life. We doubt your sources of income and hence have been called here

Old Man: I gamble
ITO: I think you are lying, prove it.

Old Man: ...

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink and no one listened.

He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.

*Thanks for my first gold kind stranger! But please consider donating to your local food bank or another worthy cause instead of rewarding this stupid joke that was (according to sources) reposted.

Best Joke of a previous year according to multiple sources.

2 Hunters are out one day, they are about to shoot a buck. Suddenly, one of the Hunters clutches his hands to his chest, and falls to the ground. The other hunter, in shock calls 911. The operator begins:

"9-1-1, whats your emergency?"

The hunter nervously says, "My friend is on the g...

Why are Wikipedia articles so tasty?

Because of all the sources

I found out where to get credible sources for anti-vaxers!!!

The Morgue

Sources report that after holding office for just two years, President Trump has already developed significant forehead wrinkles.

Talk about making national headlines!

What does r/NSFW and School teachers have in common?

They both always ask for sources.

Thanks to COVID, all military leave has been cancelled this Christmas

Sources indicate that this is tough for the officers and a real blow to the Privates.

I've decided to start listing the sources of my eggs.

It's very eggs-citing.

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