E-commerce company Alibaba Group announced that they are developing a password manager. Jack Ma has revealed that it will be open-source, a first for the company.

The product will tentatively be named OpenSesame.

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A butler is cleaning one of the guest rooms in a mansion when the lady of the house walks in.

She fixes him with an imperious gaze and cocks one arm on her hip "Charles," she says, "take off my dress."



The butler swallows hard, but he knows his duty. He puts his hands on the buttons of her dress and starts to undo them, one by one. More and more skin is revealed until finally,...

Scans of a newly discovered sarcophagus have revealed that the mummy inside was coated in nuts and chocolate

It’s believed to have been body of Pharaoh Roche.

A survey revealed that People who speak more than one language are considered more attractive.

Unless that language is Klingon

KGB held test of many officer after numerous complaint of incompetence.

Test was simple. Officer must match block with corresponding hole.

Triangle block will only fit in triangle hole, square block in square hole, etcetera.

Completion and scoring of test revealed two distinct type of KGB officer:

Type 1- Very stupid

Type 2- Very Strong

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Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.

Sid, the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death, should he try to touch them, but he had to try.


One day Sid revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Nathan


the Erudite lawyer, the King's chief adviser....

Yankee candle, known for its fragranced candle line of products has revealed it is making an odourless candle for the first time ever

It makes no scents

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Family Planning

In 1983, China launched an extensive 12 month program that was carefully designed to teach the fundamentals of birth control to the rural populace. Doctors and nurses were televised demonstrating the use of condoms and birth control pills.
The people were encouraged to faithfully practice thes...

A Chinese woman went on a blind date

A Chinese woman went on a blind date. Her date turned out to be a very handsome young man. They went to an expensive restaurant and had a great time together. The man even paid for everything.


When they were alone on their way back. The man suddenly revealed himself to be an angel in disg...

TMZ revealed Demi Lovato was briefly attached to Wonder Woman 1984

Her agent then told her it was a super**heroine** film.

In his AMA, David Tennant of Dr. Who revealed who his nemesis was.

Goliath Lanndlord.

Dead Crows

During a review of accident statistics, it was noticed that one particular intersection in Boston had an inordinately high number of dead crows, presumably killed by motor vehicle strikes. Further study revealed the oddity that in every case, the dead crow had been killed by a truck—never a passenge...

This whole time yoda has never revealed his last name. but I just found out

Layheehoo

Beware of DNA tests!

In England, young Robert Keystone Townsend II, was given a DNA test from a friend for his birthday, which revealed a terrible family secret: His father was not his actual father, but still related somehow. When confronted with the question of why this horrible truth was hidden from him for so long, ...

A man and his girlfriend are getting undressed together for the first time.

A man and his girlfriend are getting undressed together for the first time

The man took off his shoes and socks revealing feet with missing and deformed toes. "What happened to your feet?" his girlfriend asked. "I had a childhood disease called Tolio " the man said. "Don't you mean Polio?" "N...

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There was a businessman whose wife was REALLY into sex.

He was a hardworking guy but still managed to satisfy his wife's needs.

One time he had to leave for another country for a business meet. He would've been gone for a week.
He knew his wife's sex drive and didn't want to take risks so he thought he should gift her something so she can sat...

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J. K. Rowling has revealed one of the teachers at Hogwarts was a hermaphrodite.

Professor Clitdick

Did you hear they finally revealed Yoda's surname on that new Star Wars show??

I can't believe it's Layheehoo

There once was a man named Ulf, and he was the meanest Viking in all the land.

Time after time he proved his temperament, and so obnoxious was he that the world knew him as Rude Ulf.

Despite his prowess, the village soon found him unbearable, and even his mother had not a kind thing to say.

Amidst pleas and cries for Rude Ulf’s exile, the chief gave him an ultima...

4 catholic priests are sharing a private compartment on a train

They decided to confess their biggest flaw to each other.

The first priest confesses that he spends most of the church money on booze.

The second priest explains that he blows the church collection betting on horses.

The third priest confesses that he spends the church takings o...

Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong.

Finally revealed: the leading cause of death for rats and mice

Research scientists

Extensive research has revealed the ultimate fate of Lord Greystoke, better known as Tarzan.

It seems he lost his grip on a slippery creeper whilst swinging through the jungle, and fell to his death.

The native tribe who discovered his body gave him their highest honour: they extracted his intestines, dried them in the sun, and used them as the strings of a musical instrument which w...

Recent survey revealed

6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy

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My grand uncle revealed to me that he has been in a same sex marriage for years.

I asked him, "How did you do it when it was illegal back then?”

He was confused, so I said “back then it was illegal to marry a male, since you are a male.”

My grand uncle said, “I wish. I’ve always want to try something different with my wife, but she just wants the same sex day after...

Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes

Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work

My father revealed to the me that he likes to dress in women’s clothing.

I still don’t understand it, but I appreciate his effort at being transparent.

This simple test revealed if people were able to resist clickbait or not.

You failed.

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Recent study has revealed that masturbation might help curing the common cold.

Well I hope it is true because I haven't got any more tissues left..

The first image of a Black Hole will be revealed today

it will pull everyone together

An ancient aquatic system older than the pyramids has been revealed by the Australian bushfires

Australian scientists are thinking about naming them 'rivers.'

The NHS has just revealed a list of long-term side effects of vaccines!

- Old age
- Grey hair
- General decrease of diseases

Why did a girl dump his boyfriend when he revealed that he doesn’t have toes?

Because she was LACTOSE INTOLERANT

Under regression hypnosis I revealed that I hurt my knee as a child.

Now I'm being charged with previous bodily harm :(



\[My first post on this sub, made the joke up last night. Be gentle! And US readers may not get it sorry.\]

A study revealed married men die on average 7 years before their wives. Do you know why?

Because we want to

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A Cosmopolitan magazine poll revealed that 29% of women have never masturbated.

Meanwhile, 29% of men masturbated just reading about the poll.

A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss. When the boss came, the story began.

\-Client: is room 39 empty?

\-Boss: yes, sir.

\-Client: can I book it?

\-Boss: of course you can.

\-Client: thank you.

Before going to the room, the client asked the boss to provide him with a black knife, a white thread 39 cm and an orange 73g. The boss agr...

Chris Pratt revealed that he wanted to be famous just to give his parents the finger for naming him after a fried rodent.

I mean, who names their kid after a crisp rat?

Donald Trump finally revealed his plans to defeat North Korea

He's buying it and turning it into a Trump brand business

Once there was a dragon slayer named Nick.....

Nick was a wealthy man, due to the fact that there were many dragons around the kingdom that required killing. The king of the land used to pay a great price for every dragon killed. But Nick had a deep secret, he had a massive desire to sleep with the queen, even if it was just for a night.
One...

A newly released document from the CIA reveals that except his sister - Maja Einstein, Albert Einstein had a younger brother from another father.

His name was revealed to be Barrett Zweistein.

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