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Registered Jokes

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A job I was interviewing at I was asked, “are you a registered sex offender?”

I told them offendedly and sternly, “no I’m not registered!”

Elon Musk new plan for Mars colonization will include only registered Republicans.

He is going to make it the true red planet.

6 was afraid of 7 because 789. But why did 7 eat 9?

Because he needed 3² meals a day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“What’s your name, son?” a principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.”

“Do you have a stutter?” asked the principal. The student answered, “No sir, but my dad has a stutter and the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 is a registered six offender

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My piss just registered 14 on the pH scale

No wonder I'm so based.

I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull.

I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put
him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at
a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he
was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said
the bull...

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Why was Ash Ketchum on a registered sex offenders list?

Because he was caught having a Pikachu.

Last week I registered for a course ‘Dealing with dissapointments’

It got cancelled again...

I registered to a website for constipation sufferers.

It won't let me logout.

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A farmer spends $7,000 on a young registered Black Angus bull to mate with his cows.

He puts the bull out with the herd, but the animal just eats grass. He won’t even look at the cows. The farmer feels cheated, so he brings in the local vet to check out the bull. The bull is very healthy, the vet explains, but possibly just a little young. So he gives the farmer pills to feed the bu...

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What's the best part about being a registered sex offender?

Everyone on your block knows you get pussy

I was shocked when the registered pharmacist was arrested for prostitution.

She also knew me very well since I have been a customer for years!

But I NEVER knew she was a pharmacist!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A visit to the library

A man went to the library and asked the librarian if she had the new book about having a small penis?
The librarian looks on her computer for a good minute and can't seem to find it registered in the system anywhere, before she finally says "I don't know if it's in yet".


The man re...

A registered organ donor passed away. His body was sent to Amazon Prime...

Because they de-liver for free.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When i meet someone who says 'im a registered sex offended'

...I think 'ha you got caught'


/s

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIFU by hiring a registered sex offender as a replacement teacher

Oops wrong sub.

I wanted to learn more about my ancestry so I registered with a company online and sent them my DNA sample

Two weeks later I got a letter saying the sample cup was for saliva.

Did you hear about the registered donor who had a car crash on the Golden Gate Bridge?

He left his heart in San Francisco.

Did you hear about the man who assaulted someone with a woodwind instrument?

He's a registered Sax offender

Found this in my timeline...

I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood. So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.
I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIL in its centre.
Now,the Yorkshire police, th...

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George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas

When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off. Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude."

"Harriet, she's a prostitute."

"I don't believe you. That swee...

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